Tracking Redemption
by shoefreak37
Summary: When Edward flees to Volterra after learning of Bella's death, he is coerced into remaining as a member of the Volturi Guard. Redemption can be found even when it is not being sought after. Slash/New Moon AU
1. Prologue

Edward turned onto the interstate, tires screeching, and put the gas pedal to the floor. He was stricken with despair, racing with inhuman speed towards his own destruction.

Thoughts thundered through his head like the bulls at the Pamplona Run, causing the pressure to build behind his eyes.

Bella was dead.

Wave after wave of torment washed over him, and he wished he could drown in them.

Alice's vision was inarguable -set in stone. Bella was trembling, yet trying to appear brave to her attacker, but she practically reeked of fear and Edward wasn't even witnessing it firsthand. By now her body was cold and drained of blood while Laurent's appetite was satiated from her sweet ambrosia.

A flash of jealousy caused Edward to cringe, and he warned the monster within to back off; there was no longer anything to covet.

How could he have been so stupid? He left Bella unprotected, and as Laurent had so aptly stated in Alice's vision, Victoria was out for revenge. Edward knew how fiercely a vampire reacts when their mate is destroyed, yet he had not anticipated it. Additionally, he had demanded that Alice stop looking out for Bella.

_I am an ignorant, prideful, self-absorbed bastard,_ Edward berated himself internally. How he ever thought that leaving a headstrong, independent, human girl alone in a world of monsters would be beneficial he would never know. It all seemed so foolish, that he screamed aloud, making the car's interior vibrate.

He deprived himself of her company, and now he deprived her of the human life he had attempted so valiantly to maintain. His seemingly grand gesture was an act of extreme stupidity, and he could clearly see that.

Edward was sincerely grateful that he had been visiting his family when Alice had her vision. He deserved to see the broken girl he'd left behind mirrored in Alice's thoughts. Hearing this kind of news over the phone, where it would be softened by thousands of miles, would have been a comfort Edward did not feel he deserved. Bella's fear and anguish were now catalysts driving him to his end.

The scenery outside the window of the small car was flying by. Edward's car was a blur as he blew past every stop sign or traffic light in his frantic journey to the airport. Once arriving, he stopped his car as close to the entrance as possible, threw open the door without bothering to turn off the engine, and ran inside. He fully intended to never return so his vehicle was no longer a necessity.

Throwing open the terminal doors, Edward forced himself to maintain a human pace as he approached the nearest ticket counter. He must have looked rather frightening because the agent's thoughts were nervous. He attempted to calm himself by taking cleansing breaths through his nose. He smiled tentatively and the agent relaxed.

"I require a one way ticket to Florence, Italy, please," Edward stated, in a pleasant, but somewhat staccato, tone.

The female agent smiled prettily at him and replied, "Of course, sir. Will you be paying cash or credit?"

"Credit," he said, handing over his black card. The agent's thoughts became flirtatious as she completed the transaction, and Edward shuffled his feet uncomfortably, hoping she would not try to speak to him in anything other than a professional manner.

"So, it's one way, Mr. Cullen?" she breathed out, in what Edward imagined was an attempt to let him know her interest.

"Yes," he replied tersely, using his tone to convey that he was in a hurry, and by no means wanting to socialize.

"We have a flight leaving in thirty minutes. Is that too soon?" she asked, while looking around Edward for luggage. Her curiosity annoyed Edward, and he took two steps back looking anywhere but at her face.

Not soon enough, Edward thought, but said, "That would be perfect, thank you."

"Here you are sir, first class seats. Please enjoy your flight." Her professionalism had returned and Edward was relieved.

"Thanks, again," Edward finished, as he walked away.

Edward had always hated airports. So many people coming and going with thoughts that screamed at him. He needed to think, and he could not do that with the assault of inner monologues going off in his brain like gunfire.

He wondered if he would be able to think without interruptions after he had been destroyed. Would it just be blackness? Would he find Bella? Was there really a hell? All he was certain of was that no hell or black pit could be as bad as a reality where Bella did not exist; especially when it was his fault she was dead.

Edward momentarily stopped his pacing for a few moments and witnessed the reunion of two lovers that, he gathered from their thoughts, had been separated for months. The unsurpassed joy on their faces caused Edward's useless stomach to roil, and he wanted to vomit. He hoped he would be granted such a greeting in the afterlife by his love.

He tried to get that mental image of Bella, frightened and alone, out of his mind. He tried to concentrate on her flushed cheeks and her beautiful floral aroma as he had kissed her for the first time. He could recall it with perfect clarity. The rush of her blood and the warmth of her lips against his were so vividly ingrained in his psyche that it seemed he could turn around and find her there. Edward knew, however, she was now no more than a ghost.

Edward heard the call to board his flight, and the bright lights and flow of others thoughts snapped him ferociously back to stark reality.

He boarded his flight, took his seat, and waited impatiently for the plane to take off.

Within the next twenty-four hours he had every intention of no longer existing.


	2. Coercion by Blackmail

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or original plot line of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement intended.**

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Hours tend to fly by like seconds when one has eternity, but in those hours on the flight, each second ticked by immeasurably slowly for Edward. He heard every click of the mechanisms in his watch as it mocked his loss.

_Tick, tock. Tick, tock._

Edward began trying to measure those seconds by matching each click with a self-deprecating comment. _Stupid, moron, idiot, brainless, witless, feebleminded, imbecile, deficient_… After he had thought of one hundred and thirty-seven different words - even in different languages - to describe himself, he realized only a little more than two minutes had passed and pushed his thoughts in a different direction.

Edward's mind wandered back to the Alice's vision. The vampire had begged his sister for nearly an hour to try to find some kind of future that belonged to Bella, but all she got was blackness. Edward was certain that this meant Bella was dead, for Alice was infallible. If she had survived, surely Alice would have been able to see something. Why would Bella go out alone like that, and to their meadow of all places?

His watch continued to beat against his wrist, and it felt almost as though he had a pulse. Edward removed the watch and held the metal backing to his cheek. It was cold and hard like his marble body. He wanted the warmth he enjoyed but a few months ago; warmth he would never experience again.

Edward sat by the tightly drawn window shade. He knew that evening was approaching. He cracked the shade enough to see out, and enjoyed the last rays of sunlight as they painted the clouds in brilliant purples and pinks. He wanted to burn the beauty of it into his retinas, just in case the afterlife brought him nothing but the chance to relive memories.

The perfect sunset brought the vampire's thoughts to the day he had revealed himself to Bella in the very meadow in which she had been murdered. She had been exquisite in the waning light as it had decorated her hair in golden and auburn strands. The scent of her blood had been so potent, and the sound of her heart pounding had been like a fugue, both invigorating and soothing.

Edward must have whimpered aloud, because he heard the thoughts of the flight attendant just before she poked her head around the seat.

"Are you alright, sir?" the young lady asked, concern dripping from her every word.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine, thank you," Edward stuttered, after being violently ripped from his painful thoughts.

"May I get you anything, sir? We have coffee, tea, or something stronger perhaps?" she asked, her genuine concern prevalent in her thoughts.

Edward turned the corners of his mouth up in what he hoped was some semblance of a smile and answered, "No, however thank you for asking."

"Ok, just let me know if there's anything I can do, sir. We'll be landing in New York for your connection shortly." She turned and left, her curiosity satisfied.

Edward's inner musings turned towards his family, and he felt a stab of regret thinking of how his demise would affect them. When Alice saw what he'd decided, she did not fight him on it. It seemed as though every scenario in which she attempted to stop him didn't work out, so she had given up before her first attempt. She simply told Edward she loved him, blocked her thoughts, and let him go. He spoke to no one else before leaving. The vampire could not stomach the disappointment he would hear from Carlisle's thoughts, or the despair he would get from Esme. Jasper would simply know his absolute self-loathing and probably beg him to go. Emmett would try to joke, and Rosalie would just bemoan her own existence.

His watch still ticked relentlessly in his palm, and Edward clenched his fist, crushing it to dust. He had no more use for a timepiece. Letting the tiny pieces fall to the floor, Edward put the leather straps in his pocket. He ground his foot over the dust, hiding the remnants in the carpeting of the plane.

The fasten seatbelt light came on, and the captain announced the arrival in New York. Edward chuckled to himself and fastened his restraint as the plane descended, bringing him one step closer to Volterra.

~oOo~

Edward arrived in Florence a few hours before the sun was to break the horizon. As he had already arranged for a vehicle to be waiting for him at the airport, he collected the keys and swiftly left the terminal.

He found the Porsche waiting for him and beamed at it like an old friend. Edward knew that this vehicle would get him to his destination quickly, and if he really pushed it, he would be in Volterra within an hour. He pondered on the irony that most people sped away from their deaths, but for him it could not come quickly enough.

Edward burst from the parking lot like a madman. The pale light from the moon spurred him forward; a beacon to guide him to Bella. The lush landscape that surrounded Edward was ignored, his eyes on that luminous orb guiding him on his final journey.

For that hour, Edward was alone with his thoughts, able to focus fully on his short time with his love. Her warm hands on his face, her child-like wonder at his multi-faceted skin, her mirthful laugh, and her beautiful innocence were all things he reminisced about, causing his heart to break over and over again. There was a hot poker in his chest that twisted and burrowed its way completely through him, leaving him with a gaping hole. He almost decided he preferred other's thoughts to his own.

As predicted, Edward arrived to the outskirts of Volterra almost exactly an hour after he left the airport. He abandoned his vehicle a few miles outside of the city walls so as to avoid any unwanted attention. He stealthily ran the last few miles, scaled the wall within a matter of moments, and finally found himself at his destination.

The Volturi would surely grant him his request. Edward had, after all, broken the law in telling Bella about their world. For a brief moment, he was thankful Bella was dead and would never have to suffer at the hands of the Volturi. They were merciless, and would not have hesitated to end Bella's life torturously. At least Laurent had promised to take her life quickly.

Edward moved through the cobblestone streets soundlessly. The shadows that loomed over him attempted to swallow him up. He gladly would have allowed this, if the shadows contained the members of the Volturi guard with whom he so desperately craved an audience.

The wind changed direction, and Edward smelled another of his kind. He began searching the night for thoughts that might lead him to where he needed to be. Edward momentarily forgot his plight, and was enthralled by the chase that was about to ensue. He tracked the scent a bit closer and sniffed out a second one. He was close enough to tune in on the thoughts that were being emanated, and they were curious but a bit defensive, as they had picked up on his scent as well.

Edward continued forward, knowing there were two male vampires that were indeed members of the guard. He remained cautious knowing that any member good enough for the Volturi would have extra abilities; no mere vampire would suffice to uphold the law and protect Aro, Marcus, and Caius.

Edward rounded the corner behind which he was hiding and found himself in a wide open courtyard with a fountain at its center. Standing proudly behind the fountain was a tall, ancient clock tower ticking away. Edward's hunt was abandoned as he began thinking about how fickle fate was to return the incessant _tick-tock_ when he was so close to his finish. He barely registered his feet carrying him out into the open, or the thoughts of Demetri and Felix and they prepared to pounce.

They sprung on Edward, wrestling him easily to the ground. Edward's face was shoved roughly into the cobblestone street, muffling his attempts to speak.

"Ijuswantoseearo!" Edward tried to convey. He knew that Aro was the unofficial leader, and handled most of the Volturi dealings.

"What was that? Come again?" Demetri asked.

"Ha!" Felix guffawed. "I think he said 'I prefer bone marrow'. Obviously this guy likes to bite 'em deep, Demetri." Edward could see out of the corner of his eye that the vampire speaking was probably bigger than Emmett, and obviously just as jovial.

"Oh Felix, that was bad, even for you," Demetri chided, while he directed Felix to let up a bit on Edward's face. "Now, what can we do for you? I'm sure you know where you are, and who you're dealing with, yes?"

"Yes I do," Edward spat out a mouthful of dirt, "and I am seeking counsel with Aro, Marcus, and Caius. Will you take me to them?" Edward breathed out dispassionately.

Demetri's thoughts were incredulous as he assessed Edward. He briefly wondered if this vampire was suicidal, and his thoughts were confirmed when Edward nodded his head quickly.

"You're a mind-reader?" Demetri questioned. Edward nodded again.

Demetri got down on eye level with Edward, as though searching his face for honesty. Edward stared, without wavering, back at the dark haired vampire. He appeared to be Edward's height, maybe a bit taller, with hair that reached his shoulders. Edward could tell that Demetri would have had an olive complexion were he human. His ruby red eyes still continued to bore into Edward's, and he wondered briefly if Demetri was attempting to read his mind.

Edward remembered a conversation he had had with Carlisle while he detailed the different members of the Volturi guard. Demetri was said to be the best tracker in the world; rivaled by none. Felix was a strong arm, as Edward could tell by the vise-grip he had on his arm that was twisted behind his back. Edward was relieved nobody was encroaching upon his thoughts yet. That would be Aro's business once he made contact with Edward's skin.

"Will you take me, please?" Edward would beg if he needed to. "I've broken the law, I-I told a human about us. She's dead now, but I told her."

Demetri looked Edward over again with thoughts full of pity, and shifted his gaze to Felix. Felix shrugged and Demetri took that as agreement.

"Get him up, Felix. Let's take the mind-reader where he needs to go."

"Aro is not going to want to kill you, pretty boy," Felix snorted. "I'm sure you know he's a collector of sorts."

Demetri took in Edward's furrowed brow and strong jaw and realized he was rather handsome. Edward was used to hearing these kinds of thoughts, but looked at Demetri to subtly remind him he could hear. Demetri remembered he was with a mind-reader, and had the sense to look abashed. He then began to hum a mournful tune, and his thoughts were filled with that.

Edward spoke to Felix, "I won't be giving him much of a choice in the matter. I need to die. I would have put up more of a fight back there to force your hand, but I'm not big on making a spectacle of myself."

"Pity," Felix moaned, "I haven't had a good rough and tumble in months," he finished like a petulant child. Demetri rolled his eyes.

They continued forward in relative silence for the next few minutes except for Demetri's humming and Felix's thoughts on his next meal. Edward visibly cringed at Felix's musings.

"This is the closest entrance," Demetri stated tersely, pointing to a sewer grate. "Felix, you first with, uh …"

"Edward, my name is Edward."

"Right, Felix, go on in with Edward, and I'll be right behind," Demetri finished.

Edward was taken by Felix and the darkness of the underworld swallowed him whole.

As soon as his feet hit the gritty stone floor of the sewer, Edward's thoughts were calmed. He knew that shortly he would be in front of the trio that would gladly end his evil existence, and he was relieved.

Felix tightened his grip on Edward, and shifted him out of the way so that Demetri could jump down. Demetri fell through the grate silently; the only noise the rustle of his cloak as the wind rushed past. He landed gracefully on the balls of his feet, and spun around to face Felix. Demetri gestured with his head for Felix to go forward, and he did so without speaking. Edward kept his eyes on his feet as they marched forward quickly.

Their damp surroundings, as well as the lithe movements of the three vampires, kept their journey eerily silent, until Demetri broke the quiet.

"So, Edward, what brings you to our lovely city? You've already confirmed you're suicidal, but what brought that about?" Demetri questioned.

"I'd prefer not to discuss that just yet. I'm sure you'll be present when I tell Aro, and quite possibly one of my murderers, so let's keep it a surprise, shall we?" Edward answered, narrowing his eyes.

"Now Demetri, why are you always trying to make friends? He's just going to die, and now he's being rude to you," Felix poked Edward in the side, "That's no way to treat someone just trying to make polite conversation. You should apologize." Edward just glared at the overly muscled vampire.

"Give him a break, Felix. He's obviously your standard self-loathing vampire with a chip on his shoulder the size of Italy. That's no reason not to be hospitable. Pending my death I would adore being given the chance to vent. Wouldn't you?" Demetri stated, quite matter-of-factly. Felix merely shrugged, which seemed to be a common form of communication for him.

Edward turned his glare to Demetri, who returned it, quirking an eyebrow. "You're one of those animal drinkers aren't you?" he blurted out, noticing Edward's golden eyes. "One of Carlisle's coven? Or are you from Denali?"

Edward turned his head and debated on whether or not to answer the question. He decided all would be known soon enough by Aro, so why not humor the man. "Carlisle is my sire," he answered in a clipped tone.

"_What_?" Felix shrieked, his voice going up an octave. "You mean you eat, like, Bambi and Lassie and stuff? Yuck! Blech!" Felix waggled his tongue out of his mouth as though trying to rid himself of a phantom flavor.

Edward, who was quite used to getting this reaction from others of his kind, simply nodded his head while attempting not to smirk. This was not the time to find enjoyment.

"I knew Carlisle for the time he was here," Demetri piped in. "He's a good man. Did he know you were coming here? I would think not…Carlisle was always talking about wanting to help people. You two must be close?" He paused and raised an eyebrow at Edward. "I can't see him turning anyone and not attempting to halt their suicide attempt." Demetri flashed a smile at Edward, revealing two rows of perfectly straight, white teeth.

"I just left," Edward answered, while the guilt he had felt returned. The corners of his mouth turned down, the exact opposite of Demetri's curled lips.

Demetri's smile faded a bit. "He wouldn't want you here," he stated, while his thoughts echoed what he had just said. "You have other members of your coven? Did any of them try to stop…?"

"I don't want to talk anymore," Edward interrupted. Felix chuckled.

"Well, Demetri, he let you talk more than most."

"Just as well," Demetri said. "We're here." He leaned in and whispered in Edward's ear, "They'll be sitting pretty on their 'thrones' right now. Aren't you excited?" Edward shivered a bit at Demetri's cool breath on the side of his neck. He was excited, but only because he knew once he went through those doors, it would only be a matter of moments before he would cease to exist.

Demetri stepped in front of Edward and Felix, throwing the double doors open and ushering them in. Edward noticed right away the three vampires in the middle front of the large circular room conversing with several others milling about. There were probably about fifteen bodies in the room all together; Edward quickly identified a few were human. The Volturi liked to keep pets, and these humans harbored hopes of becoming immortal. Edward thought of Bella.

The room was immaculate, with high ceilings and marble floors. An intricately woven carpet ran down the middle of the floor leading to three marble stairs that stepped up to the pedestal on which the three Volturi sat. There were columns supporting the ceiling placed at key points in the room, and on the ceiling itself was painted with an exquisite mural depicting the three 'brothers'.

Edward returned his gaze to the center of the room, and noticed that all eyes were turned towards the three vampires that had just entered. Aro stood up from his chair and descended the steps that brought him down to the same level.

"What do we have here, Felix, Demetri?" Aro questioned, raising his eyebrows, while his face lit up into a smile. He walked closer to Edward.

Aro was tall and thin with long, dark hair that went well past his shoulders. His skin appeared brittle, and his red eyes had a milky film to them. Edward guessed this was due to his age. The Volturi were thousands of years old.

"I simply love visitors!" Aro bounced with anticipation, his smile spreading across his milky white face.

"Aro, this is Edward. He's turning himself in. Says he told a human about us. She's dead. Eddie here wants us to kill him," Demetri relayed to Aro.

"And he eats animals!" Felix interjected.

"Ah, an animal drinker!" Aro stated excitedly and started animatedly wiggling his fingers. "Are you familiar with Carlisle? He is a dear, dear friend of mine." Edward nodded and Aro continued, "Please tell me, is he well? I always did worry about poor Carlisle, drinking from cats and dogs and whatnot."

"He is well, and I'm sure he would appreciate your concern. Now, about what I came here for…" Edward attempted to steer Aro back on subject.

"Yes, yes, yes, we'll get to that I promise, young man, but please, tell me, Carlisle always spoke of wanting a 'family' of animal drinkers, are you a part of such a family?" Aro asked in a soft, yet excited voice.

"Yes, I am. There are seven of us all together, but…"

"Seven? My, my, my, that is something! How you all do it, I will never know!" Aro was simply bubbly as he spoke.

"But, can we…" Edward attempted to speak again.

"Oh just come here boy, give me your hand, and I'll check for myself! You have to forgive me; we don't get much excitement around here." Aro held out his hand to Edward expectantly. Felix finally released Edward from his grip, and allowed him to walk closer to Aro.

Aro continued to smile in what he thought was a welcoming manner, as Edward placed his palm to the older vampire's. When their hands connected Aro got a faraway, vacant look in his eyes; similar to the look Alice got when she had a vision of the future. It seemed as though several moments passed while Aro invaded Edward's mind, and had access to every thought the younger man had ever had.

Edward started to feel quite uncomfortable as he was able to hear all of his own thought's echoed back through Aro's. He did not think about how demeaning it would be to have his whole miserable life played back to him. Aro's face shifted into a bright grin as he approached his most recent thoughts. He continued to view Edward's life like someone would view a movie, oohing and ahhhing at all the correct points.

Aro finally released Edward's hand, and fiercely clapped his own together in delight. "How intriguing, young Edward! What a marvelous story you have brought me! La tua cantante! How did you ever do it? She smelled so lovely that I am simply starving now. Oh, and it's all a waste now, my dear boy. No wonder you want to end it! It's so unlikely you would ever find one that tasty again!"

"I loved her. You can see I never intended to make her my meal; I would have made her my wife had I been selfish enough," Edward corrected Aro tersely.

"Your family is lovely, indeed. I would love to get a chance to meet Alice, and her beloved, such wonderful talents they have! And you, my boy, you are simply amazing! To be able to read minds from a distance," Aro stated wistfully. "You don't need to perish, Edward, stay with us here and be a member of my guard. You can have anything you want, young man."

"I want Bella," Edward spat out through gritted teeth. "I broke the law, so I need to be destroyed. It's your rule. You uphold it."

"Oh Edward, if you must be so cut and dry, then every member of your 'family' broke the law, too. It would be entirely justified for me to dispatch a few members of the guard to take care of them as well, if you are so insistent we uphold the law." Aro waved his hands dismissively and rolled his eyes. "I would just loathe doing that though, young man, because Carlisle is such a wonderful friend of mine. He knows the law just as well as you; however, he cannot feign ignorance…" Aro left off turning his gaze back to Edward.

Marcus and Caius had been sitting silently on their thrones, Marcus looking bored, Caius looking angry. "Aro," Caius started. "They all obviously put us at risk…"

"But that threat was taken care of," Aro stated, cutting him off. "The human girl that Edward loved was killed by another of our kind. He left her to her own devices several months ago. There's no need now to make them all suffer for one little slip up. You should've seen her, Caius, she was very perceptive! She would've made a wonderful vampire, and she could block Edward's mind-reading ability! So intriguing!" Aro stated again.

Edward growled at the thought of Bella as a vampire, and Aro's grin simply widened. He had Edward backed into a corner, and he knew it. Aro knew that Edward's love for his family was only surpassed by his love for Bella. He clearly read the threat in Aro's thoughts; stay as a member of the Volturi guard, or he and his whole family would be eliminated.

"How long would you want me to stay?" Edward asked with his head hung, looking at the floor.

"Oh, young man, what is time when you have forever?" Aro chimed, his voice ringing like church bells for morning mass. Edward looked at him expectantly waiting on an answer. Aro smirked and answered, "We'll just have to see, dear boy."

"If I wish it, will you end my life for me once I've fulfilled my service to you?" Edward asked reluctantly, anticipating that Aro would try to skirt around the question.

Aro's thoughts swiftly bounced the question around in his head trying to formulate the best possible answer. "Of course, Edward, if that is what you wish." Aro bowed his head as though granting a great service to Edward. He wanted to roll his eyes, but refrained.

"Ok then, agreed. My family is left alone, and I work for you—for a bit—then you kill me," Edward recapped.

"Yes, yes, dear Edward, absolutely," Aro stated clapping his hands once more. "Just one more thing. You are to have no further contact with your family, save one letter I will allow you to write to them. You must let them know this is your decision, and we are not keeping you hostage. We can't have them just showing up, now can we?"

Edward could not comprehend what had just transpired. Not only was he still alive, he would be working and living with these murderers. He would now have to be a murderer. Surely he would be dispatched to deal with rogue vampires, or humans who knew too much. Could he really do it to save his family?

Edward eventually nodded his head after returning his attention to Aro.

"Splendid! Edward I am simply thrilled you will be joining us. Oh what a wonderful day this has turned out to be!" Aro did a full spin as he could barely contain his joy at this turn of events. "Demetri, show Edward where he can have his quarters and give him a tour, if you would. Edward, report back here in the morning and we'll start going over what you can do for me!"

Demetri nodded and turned towards Edward.

"Since it seems we will be around each other quite a bit, I would request that you refrain from calling me Eddie. My name is Edward," the younger vampire said, while narrowing his eyes at Demetri.

"No problem, Ed," Demetri chuckled and led him out of the room.


	3. Obligatory Quagmire

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement intended.**

Edward followed Demetri out of the circular room, his thoughts in an absolute mess. All the years he had abstained from taking life were for nothing, because beginning the next day, he would set out to destroy at the command of Aro.

Edward's eyebrows were tightly pulled together, and his mouth turned down in an unchangeable frown. The events of the last twenty-four hours had played out so swiftly, and he had not yet had the time to thoroughly contemplate it all. He was simply dizzy, weak with sorrow and regret. Now, he would truly be the monster he had always believed himself to be.

Demetri's thoughts pulled Edward from his contemplations, reminding him he was not alone. _Things could be much worse, Ed._

Edward chuckled darkly without smiling. "Don't call me Ed either," he stated laconically. "How do you gather things could be worse?"

"You could be dead, instead of mostly dead, E," Demetri replied.

"Surely you paid a bit of attention to the conversation in there, not to mention the vocalizations you coerced from me in the sewer, but I came here _looking_ to no longer exist. That was my intention, and now I have become everything I have tried to avoid," Edward countered, wondering how Demetri could find any type of positive aspect to his situation. Nor was it lost on him that Demetri had yet again shortened his name, but he thought it best to let it go for now.

"Honestly, E, when you're gone, you're gone. That's when there's no hope. As long as you're still around, things can get better!" Demetri clapped Edward on the shoulder while flashing him another brilliant smile. "You're young, and coming to terms with what we are _is_ difficult. I sulked around for almost two centuries before I made my peace with what I was. Humans die, we don't die as often," he finished, his open mouthed grin going tight lipped.

Edward looked away from the older vampire; he appreciated what Demetri was attempting to do, but everything was still too fresh for Edward to really hear what he was saying.

Demetri led Edward through a series of winding tunnels. Some went uphill, while others went down. Were Edward human, he would have been thoroughly lost at this point. Edward had seen the living quarters of the Volturi through Carlisle's thoughts, but never fully realized how vast they were. The further he went, the more in awe Edward was of the intricacy of the architecture, and the complicated tapestries that decorated almost every inch of the walls.

"So, how old are you exactly?" Demetri questioned, turning to look towards Edward as the older vampire was slightly leading. "You're obviously young, and Carlisle had not sired anyone when he visited us."

"I was born in 1901. I should have died in 1918 of Spanish Influenza, but Carlisle changed me. He was my physician," Edward said, while Demetri nodded his head.

"Carlisle was the constant savior. It was difficult for him…being here with us. Sometimes things do tend to get…untidy. This will be strenuous on you, as well, while you adjust." Demetri stopped walking abruptly in order to look at Edward fully. "We are not all as evil as you might assume, E. Some of us are wicked, make no mistake about that, but there are a few that are worthy of companionship. Felix has quite a temper and may be a bit single-minded, but is always good for a laugh. Chelsea, whom you have yet to meet, is intelligent and witty. You'll learn; after all, you are a mind-reader," Demetri finished, his eyes sparkling with humor.

Edward pondered this, wondering how he could ever be amiable with someone who fed off innocents. How could he possibly overlook the fact that they were living off of someone's mother, father, sister, or brother? He simply could not wrap his mind around it. Edward attempted to look anywhere but at Demetri's burgundy eyes as these thoughts coursed through his brain.

Demetri, as though reading his thoughts, started walking again. "It's just the way things are, E. If we didn't kill humans they would die in a car crash, of some incurable disease, or of old age. Life begins, life ends. That's the way it is with the animals you drink from, as well. Humans kill to eat. We're just a largely unknown part of the food chain where we happen to be on top," Demetri commented. "I know you feel differently because humans are intelligent, and you used to be one, but how do you know you weren't a deer in a past life? Or a lion? Because that's when you were a human, E…in a past life," he finished emphatically. Edward stopped walking.

"I am not concerned with your theories, and I especially do not wish to make friends while I am here. This is not a social visit. The idea of lingering here is utterly repugnant to me. My stay here is essentially a prison sentence," Edward spat, disgusted that the abhorrent things Demetri said had made sense.

"What of morality?" Edward continued.

"What of it?" Demetri questioned, a half-smirk blossoming his wide mouth, "What is amoral about partaking of your natural food source?"

"You are exceedingly garrulous. I don't wish to speak with you on this any further," Edward replied, jaw firmly clinched, avoiding answering Demetri's question.

"As you desire, E," Demetri chuckled. The younger vampire growled while motioning with his arm for Demetri to begin leading again.

The two vampires continued forward without speaking. Demetri's thoughts were smug, and Edward could barely think himself, due to the older vampire's meditations. Edward was growing more irritable with each arrogant line, or self-satisfied grin that crossed Demetri's face.

"Would you mind too terribly taking your arrogance down a few notches? I am having difficulty remembering the path we are taking with your thoughts bombarding me like that," Edward said sardonically through gritted teeth.

"I don't mind showing you the way again, if needed. I can come get you in the morning, as well, if you like…"

"That won't be necessary," Edward interrupted, "I have already encroached too far upon your…kindness. Just think quietly, and I'll be very well."

"No problem, E, if you're sure..."

"Yes, I'm quite sure, thank you," Edward sighed, rolling his eyes.

They had approached a darkened hallway lit only by a few hanging lanterns. The Volturi used electricity only in the main foyer of the building, but preferred the use of firelight in their personal areas. It seemed to Edward that he had entered some kind of ancient catacomb, and expected to see decomposing carcasses upon the next turn.

"Last I heard, Carlisle liked to keep in the northwest of United States, correct? Keeping with the lush surroundings and overcast skies?" Demetri questioned. Edward gave an affirmative response, wondering why he would be asked such a question.

Demetri stopped at an ornately carved door nestled in between two of the hanging lanterns. There were three other similar doors housed in the same passageway; one door to the right of this one, and two located across from it. The patterns on this entryway were delicately engraved with an abstract forest, along with intricately painted animals of the wild in muted hues. Edward could make out the face of a young buck, a badger, a flock of birds, and even a mountain lion hidden amongst the trees. The artistry with which it was crafted was remarkable, and even in this ugly place, Edward could appreciate its attractiveness. It reminded him of home.

"I thought you might like this one. You know, with the whole eating animals thing…" Demetri said with a laugh, but thought, _I know it must look like the place you were last at home... _"I hope it doesn't make you too hungry!"

Edward turned towards Demetri and gave him a simple—yet appreciative—upturn of his mouth. The gesture did not reach his eyes.

Demetri opened the door and indicated for Edward to enter first. Warily, he entered the room and was quite surprised to find it rather cozy. In the center of the room was an overly-large bed with crushed velvet hangings, along with a bedding set that matched them in color and texture. They were both deep crimson, which was fitting considering all the Volturi dealings were covered in blood. The bed itself was a deep cherry—almost black. A large fireplace took up the majority of the wall to the left of Edward, and a roaring fire was already crackling merrily as though in welcome. Two plush, high-backed armchairs sat in front of the hearth, each with matching ottomans placed before them. Edward also noticed end tables on either side of the bed, each with oil lamps containing fresh wicks ready to be lit. The walls were covered with tapestries similar to the ones that adorned the hallways, as well as a few painted canvases that matched the theme on the wooden entryway. There was another doorway to the right, which Demetri explained was to a private study when he saw Edward had noticed it. All in all, Edward did not dislike the room.

"I don't need the bed. Is there any way it could be removed?" Edward asked.

"There are many other uses for a bed besides sleeping, E." _Like sharing…_ Briefly, an image of Demetri with his hand in Edward's hair while they were lying on the bed together flashed through the older vampire's mind, but he quickly shifted his thoughts to a cat in a pirate hat reading a map. Edward didn't know whether to be embarrassed or laugh, but he knew he would be blushing furiously if he had the ability. "Er, you could use it just to lie back and relax a bit…" Demetri continued, knowing that they were both of aware of his fleeting thought. Edward tried to look at Demetri, but found his eyes traveling anywhere but back to his.

Edward felt quite awkward; he was accustomed to these kinds of thoughts from men and women, but he was not completely comfortable with admirations from the same sex. He had, after all, been raised in a time where homosexuality was simply deviant, and absolutely never spoken of.

Shifting his feet uncomfortably, Edward finally met Demetri's gaze and witnessed the return of his arrogant smirk. He was not at all regretful of the thought he let slip through the cracks of his mind, and Edward was incensed by that. Demetri could see Edward's vexation clearly on his face, which only caused the man's smirk to widen into a full smile.

"Take a quick look in your study, and then I'll give you a full tour of everything," Demetri said, struggling to keep from laughing out loud. Edward could not comprehend where this man's haughtiness was coming from. Taking a few steps backwards and spinning on his heel, Edward went into his new study. Demetri remained in the bedchamber, giving Edward a few moments to collect himself.

Edward's study was much smaller than the first room he encountered. Each wall was covered in books of every variety. There was a smaller fireplace in this room with two more armchairs similar to the ones in his bedchamber. Edward knew he would be spending a great deal of his time alone in his study; anything to forget where he was for a bit.

Edward noticed the tomes varied in subjects from Science, Mathematics, History, to more fictitious plots like _Sherlock Holmes_ or _Journey to the Center of the Earth_. Edward froze mid-step in front of a certain collection of novels that caught his eye. Every book in this room had hardback covers with the titles printed in large letters on the spine, so it was impossible to miss. He stood ramrod straight as he looked at all the works of The Bronte Sisters, and he zeroed in on _Wuthering Heights_—Bella's favorite. He opened the volume and it fell open to exactly the part Edward wanted to read. He knew this book from front to back, and could not forget it, though he would never want to. He read:

"'And I pray one prayer--I repeat it till my tongue stiffens--Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living; you said I killed you--haunt me, then! The murdered DO haunt their murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts HAVE wandered on earth. Be with me always--take any form--drive me mad! Only DO not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! It is unutterable! I CANNOT live without my life! I CANNOT live without my soul!'"*

Edward slammed the book closed with a perceptible snap, weeping tearlessly. Would Bella haunt him? Would he be granted such a beautiful reprieve, that he could have his lost love in this hideous place with him? Bella was his only salvation, and he felt that he was literally now existing without his soul. Any chance of redemption he had died when Bella did.

Edward quickly decided he did not deserve to be haunted by Bella, and he did not want her in this detestable place.

Without further thought he began ripping pages from the novel, and throwing them haphazardly into the fire which accepted the sheets hungrily. Edward continued until all of the book's pages were now curling and melting away, and he watched as they danced amongst the flames, entranced as the words were destroyed. They would haunt him just as surely as Bella's spirit would not.

Edward did not realize how long he had been standing, staring into the fire until Demetri entered the room. "Er, E, you've been in here almost two hours. I heard you making a mess of something and figured I should leave you alone for my own safety, but I think it's time to get some fresh air."

Edward did not respond, but continued to gaze at the fire which had burned down to embers. Demetri approached him slowly, and put his cool hand on Edward's shoulder. Edward had not realized it, but standing so close to the fire for so long had warmed his skin considerably and he could feel Demetri's frosty temperature. He was brought out of his haze, and turned his head to look at Demetri. "I think that would be good, yes," Edward finally replied.

_It seems as though Edward is a bit of a Nazi, burning books and all…_

Edward laughed humorlessly at Demetri's thoughts as he followed him out of the room. "It was just one book, and no, I'm not a Nazi, just making an attempt to exorcise some demons."

Demetri chuckled, "Well, I don't think it worked because you'll find plenty of demons here," he said, as his chuckles died away. "You'd have to burn the whole library to take care of them all."

"I know." Edward agreed.

"By the way, there's a small door leading to a shower stall in your bedchamber. Of course, we don't need to shower often so it is adjacent to your room as well as the one next to you," Demetri relayed to Edward. "All the doors around here lock from the inside, but none have locks from the outside that would require a key. You'll find they're not needed here," he said, waving his arm dismissively.

"And to whom does the adjacent room belong?" Edward questioned, narrowing his eyes.

"Well, by happy accident, it just so happens to be mine," Demetri chimed, his face the picture of blamelessness.

Edward narrowed his eyes further, "But you picked the room," Edward accused. Demetri just shrugged his shoulders.

"You like it though, don't you? Do not worry yourself, E. Like I said the doors lock from the inside, and I am a gentleman. Your virtue is perfectly safe," Demetri said with a wink. Edward rolled his eyes, feeling quite irritated.

Demetri commenced showing Edward around the different parts of the Volturi's underground lair. There were many parts Edward was excited to peruse further, such as the library and the extensive art room that was virtually a museum. Of course, many areas made Edward nearly ill, like the feeding rooms.

Demetri finished the tour by taking Edward out into a wide open courtyard surrounded by high walls on every side. They had had to walk up several flights of stairs to reach it. The courtyard itself was immaculately kept, with luxuriant greenery and sculpted hedges. Various types of flora decorated the area, which, Edward guessed, was about 2500 square feet. His senses were assaulted with the sweet smells of a variety of flowers, and he distinctly smelled a bit of freesia, causing another pang of remorse to flood through him. At the center of it all was a replica of the fountain he had seen only a few hours prior, in the plaza with the clock tower. Edward noted that the high walls would keep away prying eyes, even in the daytime.

"This is one of the only places we can be out in the open during daylight hours," Demetri stated as though once again reading Edward's thoughts. "It's nice to have a bit of sun and fresh air after being underground so long. Look, the color is returning to your cheeks! Wait, no, I was mistaken," Demetri joked, and Edward couldn't help but smile a bit.

Edward let the smile fade as quickly as it has appeared, and turned his head towards the starry night. It had been a while since he had clearly seen the night sky due to the overcast nature of Forks. The younger vampire inhaled deeply through his nose, flaring his nostrils, and slowly exhaling through his mouth. This unneeded breath soothed Edward somewhat, however superficial it might be. The night was clear and crisp being early spring, and Edward could see the Milky Way and Mars. He was thankful for his exceptional sight if nothing else.

_It is quite lovely here, especially on evenings like this. You will grow to appreciate these small joys where you can find them, E._

Edward nodded in response to Demetri's thought. He knew full well it would be moments like these that would keep him sane in this world gone mad. His only hope was that he could endure his service with his sanity intact, and finally end this anguish called existence.

"I'm going back down. Do you need me to show you back to your room, or are you staying out here for a bit?" Demetri asked.

"I think I'll remain here a bit longer, if you don't mind?"

"No problem, E, I know you won't run off. Rest well, and don't get lost on the way back." Demetri flashed Edward a final smile, and descended the steps leading him back underground.

Edward strolled to the center of the courtyard and sprawled himself out in the grass next to the fountain. He returned his gaze to the night sky overhead, and spent several hours mindlessly tracing out patterns in the stars; making every attempt not to think about Bella.

The sky began fading from black, to blue, to pink across the horizon, and Edward decided it was time to go inside and prepare himself to meet with Aro.

Once Edward had made his way back to his room, he put on fresh clothes—including the signature cloak of the Volturi--and sat by the fire in his bedchamber, gathering his courage to go face Aro.

He was just rising from the plush armchair when he heard a knock on his door. Edward went to answer it with a puzzled expression on his face. He pulled the door open and was greeted by the large form of Felix.

"Morning! Demetri said you might've been a little lost last night, and that you could use some help getting back over to Aro today. He would've taken you himself, but he's, er, busy," Felix said. Edward was not at all disappointed to see Felix instead of Demetri; in fact he was a bit relieved. The man was much too arrogant for his liking, and his unapologetic thoughts made Edward uncomfortable.

"You all set?" Felix asked while stepping back and motioning to Edward to go first.

"Yes, thank you."

The two vampires walked quickly, conversing politely about unimportant things. Felix was friendly and easy to talk to, which made Edward miss Emmett, as this vampire reminded him of his brother.

"So, did the zoo start to notice when all the animals went missing?" Felix questioned earnestly. Edward laughed loudly, and it sounded so strange to his ears. Had it really been so long since he'd laughed? Felix looked perplexed.

"We didn't eat the animals from the zoo, Felix," Edward snickered. "We generally would travel to areas where certain animals were over-populated to even things up a bit."

"Ah, I see, that makes much more sense." Felix grinned from ear to ear, his scarlet eyes flashing jovially. "Are you still going to drink from animals while you're here?" he questioned.

"Yes, that is my plan. Just because I'm out of my element does not mean I will change who I am," Edward answered insistently.

Felix rolled his eyes, his thoughts dubious. "I just don't get it…" he mumbled quietly.

They continued forward in a companionable silence. Edward decided that Felix was not so horrendous, but he had yet to see this 'temper' that Demetri pointed out the previous evening. Shortly thereafter, the two vampires reached the double doors that led to the circular room where Aro, Marcus, and Caius sat on their thrones. Edward and Felix opened the doors together and entered.

Aro immediately noticed them. "Edward, Felix! Edward that cloak suits you marvelously. You look very dapper. I trust you found your rooms to your liking?" Edward once again resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Yes, Aro, thank you very much. My quarters are more than suitable," Edward answered with a slight nod of his head.

"Excellent! Now, dear boy, come in and we shall discuss several things." Aro motioned Edward further into the room.

"First of all let me introduce you to a few more members of the guard." Aro pointed to several cloaked vampires who were positioned around the thrones. He pointed first towards a tall, light-haired female whose face was turned down in a scowl. Edward read how anxious she was in her thoughts. "This is Renata. She is my personal shield, and is constantly at my side. Anyone who attempts to approach me in hostility will be diverted. She is extraordinary! I simply don't know how I could live without her! Say hello to Edward, Renata."

"Greetings and welcome, Edward," Renata said brusquely. Edward could tell simply from her expression that she meant neither. He nodded in return.

Aro continued to the next member who was also female. This vampire had dark mahogany locks that fell to her waist, and her face was much less aggressive. Her eyes were kind even though they were glowing crimson. "This is Chelsea. She can tighten or loosen relationships as she pleases. Simply amazing!" Aro relayed gleefully.

"Hello, Edward," Chelsea greeted him cheerfully, holding out her palm to shake Edward's hand, "It's lovely to meet you." Edward knew she was sincere in her salutation.

"And these two are my little jewels!" Aro continued, gesturing to the two smallest members. Edward turned towards a boy and girl that appeared to be no more than eleven or twelve years old. The girl looked positively cherubic with short, light brown hair and lithe frame. Only when looking at her eyes did she appear much older; they gleamed with a depraved tint that caused Edward to look away, suppressing a shudder. He looked towards the boy who appeared quite similar to the girl, but with slightly darker hair and thinner lips. He was staring at Edward with annoyed disinterest, appearing as though he would rather be anywhere but here, greeting the newest member of the guard.

"This is Jane and her twin, Alec," Aro introduced the duo. "Jane can make you feel like you are simply burning alive, and Alec can cut you off from your senses completely; similar to what a human would call a coma. I turned these two myself. I'd wanted to wait until they were a bit older, but their village forced my hand by attempting to burn them at the stake. I handled them, I assure you!" Aro chuckled. "Aren't they just lovely? Greet Edward, my children."

"Ciao," Alec said coldly. Jane simply turned up her nose at Edward. Aro just continued chuckling.

"And this beauty is my mate, Sulpicia, without whom I would truly be heartless," Aro gestured towards a statuesque female vampire with brittle looking, pale skin, as well as the same milky film over her burgundy eyes as Aro. He took her hand and kissed it, while Suplicia lowered her head slightly and curtsied towards Edward. "Next to her here, is Caius's mate, Athenodora." Edward noted her fair hair, and also the similar features that belonged to all the ancient Volturi.

"Well, Edward, that's all the members of importance. Ah, except for Heidi! She is regrettably busy doing some work for me. She basically, er, how do I say this so you aren't upset…? Brings us our meals?" Aro told Edward with raised eyebrows, trying his best to look apologetic; it did not work and Edward cringed.

"Of course, you've already met Felix, and my tracker, Demetri. I honestly don't know why I bothered to go through all those introductions! You could've plucked all that information right from their minds couldn't you? But I do so love new friends! Do you have any questions for me yet?" Aro finished.

"Yes, Aro, where may I hunt?" Edward questioned.

"Ah, yes, so you intend to continue drinking from animals as opposed to your natural food source?" Aro countered.

"Without doubt, yes sir."

Aro nodded disappointedly and answered, "There are many wooded areas surrounding Volterra, but please be considerate of the wildlife populace, and venture out further as needed. I wish you to have all the comforts your heart desires, and if partaking of animals is what you require then you shall have it. Please, let me know if you tire of hunting and I can arrange to have what you need delivered here."

"There will be no need for that, but thank you all the same," Edward replied with a tight-lipped smile.

"Now that that is out of the way; I have a mission for you Edward," Aro started, "This will be fairly easy, as I do not wish to start you out in anything too messy so swiftly. All I need is for you to travel to Milan and seek out a vampire named Salvatore. I have heard he has some abilities that may be useful to me. He is very young, and should not be difficult to find. Simply find him, try to determine the extent of his power, tell him of my interest, give him my card, and return back here. Very easy!"

"What kind of abilities have you heard this vampire has? It would be valuable information to have if I am to speak with him. How am I to find him so easily?" Edward asked of Aro.

"He has some mind reading abilities, not too dissimilar to yours, my boy, from what I've gathered anyway. Demetri will be going with you to help you find your way. It will be all too simple with him along." Aro smiled brightly as Edward groaned.

"Couldn't someone else go with me? Maybe Felix…?"

"No, no, no young man. Felix is strong, but a tracker he is not! It would take the two of you ages! Demetri will go with you and that is that," Aro rebuked.

"Where is he? I should like to get this over with as soon as possible," Edward snapped.

"He had a few errands to run, but should be returning shortly. I shall send him to you as soon as he returns. For now, gather a few things from your quarters. Demetri will drive the two of you to Milan. It only takes a few hours by car."

_This gets better and better… Stuck for hours in a car with that self-important ass. _

Edward bowed his head acknowledging that he understood and left the room in a considerably worse mood than when he had entered it.

***Emily Bronte, **_**Wuthering Heights**_**, Ch. 16**


	4. Impelled Catharsis

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just borrow them. Let's not waste the time on suing me, 'kay?**

Edward escorted himself back to his chambers feeling annoyed and quite temperamental. How was he to suffer hours alone with Demetri? Was it not enough that his sanity was slipping from all of the emotional disorder and desolation from the past 48 hours? How was he to come to terms with _anything _when he would have to listen to that self-absorbed man's internal voice berating him?

Edward huffed and groaned his way through the passageways until he found himself back at his room. He threw open the door without attempting to hold back, nearly knocking it off its hinges. He stood there for a few moments contemplating how he was to endure the next few days with someone who annoyed him so.

After a few moments, Edward remembered he had yet to create a correspondence to send to his family letting them know his situation. Edward knew without doubt that Alice was completely aware of his current predicament, but he still wanted a chance to say his piece. His families' regard had always been exceptionally significant to Edward, above all, Carlisle's.

He began inspecting the drawers of his nightstand for a suitable writing utensil and some parchment. Edward found exactly what he was looking for easily. He ventured into his study, and had a seat in front of the hissing fire. He briefly wondered who it was that kept them lit. Quickly, he decided it was of no importance to him.

For a few moments, Edward's gaze was held by the wooden hearth as he contemplated nothing; his mind simply taking a few moments to rest itself and maintain its thinning grip on reality.

Edward began writing, deciding his letter would be concise, yet informative. He wrote:

_To My Beloved Family,_

_I know you have all been extraordinarily anxious about my present situation, but, no doubt, Alice has informed you of the vision she had of Bella, and of my subsequent pilgrimage to Volterra to end my existence. Obviously, my suicide attempt was met with folly, as I am still here._

_I am also sure that she has informed you of my current status as a member of the Volturi Guard. Rest assured, this was a decision that I came to of my own accord; although I might have been given few other options. Know that I am as well as you would expect me to be. Do not make waste of your time by coming to retrieve me, as I am not free to leave. I have indebted myself to service for the Guard for an unknown -yet seemingly lengthy- amount of time._

_Please understand that I will see you all again in time. What are a few years to those of us that have forever? Recent events have reminded me of how very true that former statement is. Time continues and we remain._

_This is the last contact I am allowed to have with you until my service is completed._

_Thank you for understanding. I miss and love you all. _

_With Warmest Regards,_

_Edward_

Edward re-read the letter several times. It pained him to think that it would be years before he would see his family again. Since he had been turned, Carlisle had been the only constant in his life, with the exception of the few years he ventured out on his own. What would Carlisle think of him now? Edward knew, however, that no matter what he did, Carlisle and Esme would welcome him back like the prodigal son he so often played.

He rose from the chair, and neatly folded the correspondence at two points so that it would easily fit into an envelope. Edward knew that whoever lit his fires would be able to get the letter to its proper destination. He left it sitting on his nightstand with reluctance, his heart breaking a little more at the thought of being completely quarantined from the family he had known for so long.

Abruptly, he was pulled from his contemplations by a knock at the door. He could hear the thoughts of the man on the other side and knew it was Demetri. Edward hurriedly threw some clothes into a suitcase that had been conveniently laid out for him by his bed before answering the door.

"E! How are you this exquisite morning?" Demetri asked of Edward. He promptly frowned and rolled his eyes.

"It definitely won't be in my top ten list of best days ever," Edward answered.

"Well, we shall just have to see if we can change that, won't we?" Demetri said, sidling past Edward into the room uninvited.

"Sure, come on in," Edward muttered sarcastically.

Demetri looked at the two bags Edward had packed. "I see you're all packed and ready," he said. _I heard you rushing after I knocked. Not such a boy scout after all, leaving things to the very last minute, _Demetri mentally chided.

"I was otherwise occupied, as if it were any business of yours," Edward responded, resenting the appellation.

"I wasn't intending to be intrusive, simply observant," Demetri snickered. "Not everything I say to you is meant to be taken as insult, E. In fact, none of it is. There are plenty of others here that are more worthy of your ire, do not waste it on me."

Edward—still quite irritated with his present company—said, "Let's get this over and done with." He strode by Demetri to pick up his luggage, but Demetri snatched it up before he could reach it.

"I've got these, E." Demetri grinned as he walked past Edward saying, "Just follow me to the car. I'll be driving, of course."

Edward obeyed and followed Demetri into the hall, but grimaced the whole way. Edward wondered what good it was being able to read minds if he still could not understand some people at all.

When Demetri thought, it was so loud and overbearing; Edward did not trust him. The older vampire seemed very obliging, yet his arrogance was off-putting. Edward hoped to be able to make use of the time he was being forced to spend with Demetri and learn his true intentions, as well as gain further information on the Volturi and their guard.

If he ventured to guess, Edward was counting on at least ten years he would be indebted to Aro, it not more. That being the case, he had every intention of using his abilities to their maximum capacity to learn each and every member inside and out. He would not truly have any companions during his stay, but he knew that the statement, 'keep your friends close and your enemies even closer,' was more than just an old saying.

Demetri led them to an underground parking garage that Edward had not seen before. "Sorry I didn't show this to you yesterday," Demetri apologized. "I thought, at the time, it might be too tempting. Do you have a preference?" Demetri gestured to the many different varieties of transportation that were hidden safely here for the Volturi's use.

Edward looked over the cars, trucks, and SUVs noticing they all had deeply tinted windows. The models varied greatly, as did the colors. Edward decided quickly that the only preference he had was that the vehicle was speedy, which he was sure they all were. "No partiality, as long as it's fast," he answered.

"Good answer, E," Demetri replied, walking over to what appeared to be a storage closet. The door was not locked—there would be no point to it—and Demetri opened it revealing several rows of keys, each of them numbered. Edward concluded they were numbered according to which parking spot each of the cars were in. Demetri chose number thirty-seven, and spun the key ring around his finger while tilting his head in the direction of the vehicle they would be taking. He picked up Edward's bags once again and said, "I'm glad you aren't too picky, because I already put my bags in this one." Edward snorted at the comment as they walked forward.

Demetri stopped at a shiny, silver Mercedes, not unlike the black one that Carlisle owned. He popped the trunk and Edward saw that Demetri had indeed already placed his luggage in this car. Demetri put Edward's bags alongside his and closed it. He then unlocked the doors, opened the passenger side, and held it there for Edward to enter. Edward appreciated that Demetri was attempting to be polite, but somewhat begrudged being treated like a female. Edward got into the vehicle and Demetri closed the door.

Once Demetri was settled in on the driver's side, he started the ignition and began the ascent out of the garage. They drove upwards a few moments before Edward could see the light of day. They finally emerged at a heavy looking gate that was flanked by two very human guards. Demetri nodded towards them and stopped at a metal keypad with stone casing. Demetri entered an eight digit code and the gate began slowly lifting. Edward filed away the security code in the event he ever needed it.

"I might as well have written that down and handed it to you," Demetri said while looking at Edward, who was attempting to look confused. "Oh, don't play innocent, E! It does not matter anyway, Aro wishes you to know these things. You are to be remaining here for quite some time."

"As though I need reminding," Edward said, sneering.

Demetri pulled the car into the street and shook his head at Edward, but did not comment.

"If you don't mind my driving fast, we should be to Milan in about 2 hours. I am already certain of the general area in which Salvatore will be in, and from there is should be fairly simple. The only problem we might encounter would be if he hears us coming and doesn't wish to be found. Aro was unsure of the extent of his abilities, which is largely the reason we've been sent to find him. He is already sure he wants him, but has not yet decided how far he would be willing to go to obtain this vampire's employment."

Edward nodded his head indicating he had heard Demetri, but was reminded of a question he had been pondering. "How does your ability work exactly?" Edward questioned. He had always been quite curious since Carlisle had first told him that Demetri did not track by scent, and could determine someone's location from another continent entirely.

"You know, that's a question I've often asked myself." Demetri briefly looked at Edward who had raised his eyebrows, and continued, "I just know where to find what I'm looking for. When I think of the thing I am seeking suddenly the information is….just there. I find it rather difficult to compartmentalize. I'm sure it is similar to when you hear thoughts. One moment you don't know that someone secretly counts the number of times they butter their toast, and then you do," Demetri snickered.

"But what is it that causes that knowledge to appear? Do you simply have to think of someone? Know their name?" Edward persisted, wanting to know more.

"I need to pick up on the substance, or _tenor, _of someone's thoughts, and it is almost as though I can visualize a map in my head. The person I am tracking shows up on it like a beacon. Generally, I just need to know a personal fact about the person I'm looking for," Demetri answered.

"Such as?" Edward said, waving his arm for Demetri to continue.

"I can't believe you're actually having an interactive conversation with me, E! This is momentous!" Demetri smiled widely. Edward tilted his head, giving Demetri an imploring look. "Ah, yes, sorry I momentarily forgot what we were talking about. Er, such as…a favorite color, someone's middle name, vices, pet-peeves… Virtually anything you would find in a personal ad," he finished.

"So, you have a lot of noise going on in your mind, too?" Edward asked quietly. He did not want other people to suffer as he did with all the chaos that commanded his mind, but was softened somewhat by the thought of having someone to commiserate with. Demetri looked at Edward with what seemed like regret.

"At times I do, E, but usually only when it's needed. If I'm not actively looking for someone the map is a blank parchment, but when I do call upon my ability, all the people existing that I have ever tracked come clear, and I have to direct myself to the one I'm looking for. It is quite chaotic at first, kind of like when you first lay out a map having no idea where to locate your destination. You have to seek it out, but once you have your location marked, you are led to exactly where you need to go. It is like I was born with pre-installed GPS, complete with turn by turn directions."

Demetri's eyes returned to the road and he said, "I am sorry I cannot understand fully what it is like for you. I do understand what it is like to hate yourself, however, and feel responsible for the death of someone close."

"How could you ever empathize? My situation is rare…"

"What is rare about love and loss?" Demetri snapped, interrupting him. Edward did not try to continue, and was somewhat taken aback at Demetri's quick change in temperament. He was also to some extent impressed that Demetri had learned so quickly how to block him from knowing what he was truly thinking. Edward attempted to get past his mental wall, but it stood firm, and he continued seeing flashes that did not make sense.

"Never mind, E…. I apologize for that. Do you need to hunt now that we are outside of the city?" Demetri questioned, his mood once again agreeable.

"It probably wouldn't hurt. I haven't fed in quite awhile. Will we be around many humans?" Edward asked.

"Quite a few, considering we're going to the opera this evening," Demetri answered.

Edward was confused. Were they not looking for a vampire? "What purpose will that serve?"

"It will serve our purpose quite well, in fact. Salvatore will be there this evening, and I haven't seen _Turandot _since its debut in 1926; which, by coincidence, was in the very same opera house we will be going to. Teatro alla Scala! Have you ever been?"

"I have actually never been to Milan. La Scala is a place I have wanted to visit for quite some time. _Turandot _has my favorite aria, _Nessun dorma, _although I was rather let down by the English translation. The words just aren't as meaningful as the music. I adore the way the music crescendos and swells and you feel as though you may burst with it," Edward said talkatively.

"Calm down, E! I would have mentioned it much sooner if I had known what a positive reaction I would get from it. Remember, we have a job to do first and foremost, but a little fun never hurt either. I take it you're a musician?" Demetri asked the younger man, while he delighted in Edward's excitement.

"Yes. I play the piano and enjoy composing." Edward was instantly deflated when he began thinking of his most recent composition--Bella's lullaby. He was then reminded of why he was stuck in this place and the event that led him here. Had it really only occurred two days prior? Demetri noticed his abrupt change in disposition.

"Everything leads you back to her, does it not?" Demetri asked rhetorically. "Is there nothing that makes you happy that does not remind you of her?"

"No," Edward mouthed with no audible sound passing his lips. He wanted to scream, but his voice failed him.

Even being invincible did not make him immune to heartache. Edward cursed himself once again. How could his body be so impenetrable, yet his heart so easily shattered?

Demetri pulled over on the side of the road in front of a wooded area. "There should be something in here you will find edible. I'll wait for you," Demetri told Edward.

"Thank you," Edward said while exiting the vehicle. He ran into the woods wanting to hide away from the raw emotions he had allowed Demetri to see.

Edward realized he had not fed in a few weeks. He rapidly found a few deer, draining them without thought. Once he had had his fill, his wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist, and swiftly returned to the car.

"That was quick," Demetri commented.

"I didn't want to put us behind schedule," Edward said.

Demetri pulled out onto the road again hastily. "Tell me about your ten best days, E. You already stated today wasn't one of them." Edward did not feel like playing this game.

"They were all with," Edward paused, unsure as to whether or not he could say her name, "B-Bella."

"All of them? There is not one day you would list amongst your best that occurred without her? I find that hard to believe. Can you remember when you were human? Think back to the days before you hated yourself."

Edward closed his eyes in concentration, and allowed his head to drop back onto the seat. His human memories were very unclear and hard to recall. Demetri did not speak or think in words. He simply hummed a simple tune that echoed in his musings, allowing Edward to reflect.

After several moments, Edward spoke, "I remember once when I was twelve, my mother gave me a wonderful gift. My family was not poor, but my parents could not afford extravagant gifts either.

"I had begun taking piano lessons as soon as I was old enough to read, probably since about age seven, and I always had to visit my Aunt Ann's house to practice on her piano because the one we had was hopelessly broken.

"I grew up in Chicago, and there was this lovely shop in town that had a beautiful piano for sale. The wood was so dark and reflective, and the ivory of the keys was so inviting. I swore to my parents I had never wanted anything so badly in my life. It's very funny how selfish kids can be," Edward stopped for a moment, and laughed remembering his mother's exasperated look every time they passed the shop window.

"My parents had few things of value, but my mother did have a few Cameos that were worth quite a bit. They were old, and had been given to her by my grandmother. Mother sold a few of them, and on my twelfth birthday I came home from school to see my piano set up and waiting for me. I had known that my mother had sold some of her jewelry, but I had had no clue it was for me. I was immediately filled with guilt." Edward snickered again.

"But not so much you told her to return the piano, right?" Demetri chuckled.

"You're right," Edward said, a true smile spreading across his face. "My mother was so happy that she could do that for me. I can see her now, smiling and proud of my musical accomplishments. Sometimes I think of all I could do for them now… But that would be impossible wouldn't it? Even if they had survived the Influenza they would be long gone now," he finished.

"That is where your problem lies. You look upon your past experiences with thoughts of what could have been instead of what _was._ That beautiful memory of your mother made you smile, E…_really_ smile. _That_ is why we are given the gift of memory. Not to torture ourselves or dwell upon regrets from the past. You are shaped from the good and the bad, and you would do well to forget neither. It is very simply stated, yet, I know, quite difficult to do. As I have mentioned before, it took me close to two centuries before I learned the proper balance, but you do find that place, E, where you can smile without guilt," Demetri stated seriously.

"I don't deserve…"

"Tell me about one of the best times you had with your Bella," Demetri interrupted. "And don't think of what cannot be changed, E. Think of what it was that brought you bliss."

"I am not ready…"

"You are more than ready. You are almost one hundred and five years old. Time for you to live. Tell me about her," Demetri interrupted yet again.

Edward was conflicted. Demetri obviously had been around for quite some time, and—as was seeming to become the norm- he had a way of making brutal sense that Edward did not think he wanted to hear. Of course, his selfish side wanted to get past all the self-loathing and guilt and desired to be happy, but Edward had always had a gift for controlling the monster within. He felt being content in this life would be taking advantage of his wicked existence. Vampires should not exist, and he felt every day he still walked the Earth was an abomination.

Demetri, sensing Edward's musings, asked, "Why do you hate yourself, E?"

"Because I should've died a very long time ago. Because my base instinct is to murder. Because it is my fault that Bella is dead," Edward replied.

"_You_ did not choose to be immortal. _You_ do not murder. _You_ did not kill Bella," Demetri said simply. Edward scowled. "You cannot hate yourself for merely existing, E. It's not a very valid reason. Do you hate me? Do you hate Carlisle, or your family?"

"No, but…"

"Good," Demetri said, once again cutting Edward off. "Now, tell me about her."

Edward sighed. His head was reeling, but he finally decided it best to concede. "B-Bella was…exceptionally….clumsy," he started slowly. He thought of all the times Bella would trip, and how he was there to catch her every time. A wide grin finally broke his monotonous scowl as he looked over at Demetri. The older vampire returned the expression, and the pair spent the remainder of the journey speaking of the joy Edward had found in his short time with Bella.

Edward did not grimace, scowl, or sneer the rest of the drive.

The pair arrived at their hotel in the early afternoon. Demetri guided the car snugly underneath the protective awning in front of the door, and both vampires exited being shaded from the sun's revealing rays. Demetri checked them into their suite, and handed over the vehicle's keys to the valet as a bellhop gathered their luggage from the back.

Edward was a bit apprehensive when he realized he would be sharing a suite with Demetri, but his fears were quickly abated when he found their quarters with two separate rooms that shared a sitting area. He knew he did not require sleep, but still craved solitude which would have been difficult had there been only one bedroom.

The drive to Milan had somewhat changed Edward's view of Demetri. He still felt Demetri was arrogant, nosey, and all too forward, but not as tyrannical as he had always assumed the Volturi Guard were. Demetri had compelled Edward into speaking of things he would have never voiced on his own, and he was unsure of how he felt about that. He guessed he could add pushy to the list of Demetri's character traits.

Edward missed Bella, and painfully so, but when he took a moment to reflect, he realized he felt _better _than he had before leaving this morning. He smiled to himself, and could not help but to feel a twinge of remorse as he did so. Things would be so much less complicated had Aro simply granted his request for a merciful death.

Once their luggage had been brought up, Edward took a few moments to familiarize himself with his temporary living arrangements. The sitting room was incredibly lovely with its cavernous ceiling and warm neutral colors. The back wall was entirely glass, giving a breathtaking view of the city. He did not pay much attention to the kitchenette or bathrooms, knowing they were of no importance to him. Demetri had also been perusing the rooms, and the two men met in the sitting room where Demetri lazily stretched himself out on the sofa.

"So I know the clothing you have is limited. I realize you didn't have any luggage upon your arrival in Volterra," he paused to quietly laugh, "and what you do have was hastily obtained. You'll need something formal for the opera this evening."

Edward groaned. He despised shopping for himself, and Alice had always bought him everything he needed. "Shopping is not something I enjoy," he replied.

"I'll take care of it," Demetri said, as he jumped smoothly from the sofa. "I can arrange for casual clothes, as well."

Edward caught flashes of himself in various types of clothing as though Demetri was trying to flush out what would look best on him. He was familiar with the thought process, as he had seen a similar method from his sister on many occasions. However, Edward was _not_ familiar with the flash of white he saw followed by what appeared to be his bare back. Edward thought it odd, but it was gone as abruptly as it had appeared. He decided not to comment.

"All right then," Edward affirmed. Demetri nodded and quickly made his way out the door.

**Author's note: Thanks for taking the time to read! Review if you feel like it. : )**

So. What's one of the craziest things you could imagine seeing in one of those personal ads? What is somebody selling that you totally aren't buying?

Thanks for reading! :)


	5. Unveiling Antiquity

**Disclaimer: All characters and plot of the Twilight saga belong to Stephenie Meyer. I am not her. **

**Author's note: Ok so I'm sure that **_**Turandot**_** was not performed at La Scala in March of 2006, which is when this story is taking place. It's also possible that the historical facts of Demetri's history might not be 100% accurate. I might have bent them to my will just a bit, but it's part of the fun! **

**Big thanks to everybody that's reading! I realize this story is kind of off the well-beaten path, and I appreciate those of you giving it a chance.**

**Thanks to the wonderful GracieBlack28 for always being there to bounce ideas off of and for previewing my chapters. I heart you KG! **

**On with the chapter!**

Edward was left on his own in the hotel suite for several hours before Demetri returned. He found himself missing Demetri's chatter, the silence giving him too much time to ponder upon events past, and so it was with much relief that the older vampire finally made his return.

"What took you so long?" Edward questioned, attempting to hide the impatience in his voice. Demetri was only two steps inside the door. He shut it behind him and looked at Edward incredulously.

"I was only gone three hours, E. You mustn't rush a good suit," Demetri said, while chuckling at Edward's annoyance. "I got quite a bit of new clothing for you, along with a rather dashing tuxedo, if I do say so myself."

"I'm not overly concerned with that, as long as I'm clothed," Edward stated dismissively.

"Now, E, how could you say such a thing? Why make the effort to go out and not look your best? You yourself said how you'd wanted to visit Milan for ages! Take advantage of being in this beautiful city and happy outing to look striking," Demetri said dramatically, unable to contain his smirk.

"Why must you always shorten my name?" Edward questioned, ignoring what Demetri said entirely. Edward felt he had let the nickname calling go on long enough.

"Well Edward is an awfully mature name, don't you think? Someone as young as you with so much to learn just doesn't match with a name so grown up," Demetri stated, not a trace of jest in his voice. "You didn't like Eddie, or Ed, so 'E' will have to suffice."

Demetri's statement made Edward upset. Who was he to critique him so fiercely? He had known Edward for one day; one day and Demetri had already decided he understood him. Edward ran his fingers roughly through his hair in exasperation. "You don't know anything about me," Edward said out loud, seething. He turned his back on Demetri and began retreating to his room.

"Don't get angry, E," Demetri started, holding both hands up in surrender while he followed Edward, "I was answering your question. _Please, _do not be insulted. You do have a lot to learn about life. Especially, about the life you lead as a vampire. I mean just look at the way you handled your relationship with Be-"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!" Edward interrupted, throwing his hands in the air angrily.

"Calm down. It's much too soon for us to have this kind of conversation. I was thoughtless…I spoke rashly, E. I'm sorry," Demetri said, trying his best to placate Edward.

"No. You can't just say something like that without explaining yourself!" Edward yelled, his golden eyes boring into Demetri's scarlet ones.

Demetri took a breath through his mouth and let is out slowly. He rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand, and his hair fell into his face shielding him from Edward's gaze. He was currently thinking of a tongue twister, blocking Edward out of his mind. _The perfectly poised plover politely passed the parked pink Porsche, _Demetri thought. Edward had to bite down on his lip because he almost chuckled. Almost.

"WELL!" Edward urged Demetri.

"E, you were kind of a stalker," Demetri stated without prelude, looking down at the carpet. Edward was shocked into silence. Demetri started making up a haiku in his head.

Edward took several moments to consider what Demetri had just said. His initial reaction was to be angry and irritated. He wanted to grimace and scowl, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized Demetri was _right. _Abruptly, he burst into fits of laughter. Edward laughed for so long and hard, that had he been human, he would surely have passed out or had tears running down his face. Demetri looked on with concern etched onto his granite features. In his thoughts, he was certain Edward had finally gone mad. That just caused Edward to laugh harder.

"E?" Demetri said, his mind full of worry. Edward was doubled over in the floor holding his midsection. He held one finger up to Demetri, requesting a moment to calm down.

"I'm alright. Truly, I am," Edward choked out, still stifling his giggles. He felt terribly for laughing about something that had been potentially illegal, but he laughed, nonetheless. He could not comprehend where his mirth was coming from; especially in light of the events over the last few days. Maybe Demetri was right, and he was indeed going insane.

"You're not angry with me?" Demetri asked, finally looking at Edward again.

"Oh, yes. I am _horribly_ angry with you, but only about your former statement. The latter I have already forgiven," Edward said, while chuckling once more. How out-of-character he was behaving!

"Believe me, E; I am not making these statements out of arrogance or superiority. I -beyond doubt- can empathize with making rash decisions and general thoughtlessness. If that were not the case, I would remain silent," he said.

"What happened to you? You have mentioned twice now your ability to empathize. Will you…"

"Would you like to see the tux I chose for you? I am positive it will fit, but I want to make sure you like it," Demetri interrupted, while in his mind reciting poetry by Walt Whitman in Italian. He began walking back to the sitting room, speaking to Edward over his shoulder.

Edward decided he would let it go for now, but was determined to get some answers from Demetri later. After all, he knew quite a bit about Edward, but Edward knew little of him. Edward would get his chance.

Several hours later, Demetri and Edward were dressed and ready to leave for La Scala. Edward's excitement for the outing had returned, and he was anxious to leave. Demetri, however, was taking his time.

Edward was a bit uneasy about finding and speaking with the vampire they were seeking, and hoped that the confrontation did not result in anything vicious. He wondered what it would be like to encounter another mind-reading vampire. Would he know their intentions immediately, or would he require a closer proximity as it was with Aro? His deliberations were interrupted by Demetri emerging from his room.

Demetri was dressed in a tuxedo that was immaculately white, save for a crimson tie tucked neatly into his vest. He slid on the long jacket that went mid-thigh and began fastening the five buttons. The pure color of Demetri's clothing made his chalky pallor almost glow, and the once olive tone of his skin was nearly visible. His dark hair fell wildly to his shoulders, and his straight nose and full lips seemed so much more prominent to Edward than they had previously.

Demetri had yet to look at Edward, and the younger vampire was relieved, because for some reason he could not stop staring. For a moment, Edward thought that Demetri looked like some kind of vengeful angel -beautiful and deadly- sent to bring down the wrath of God on the unsuspecting masses. _No one could deny him and would willingly welcome death if it were at his hands, _Edward thought. He shook his head and wondered why he would have thought something so silly.

Finally, Demetri looked up at Edward. Edward noticed his eyes were almost purple instead of the signature burgundy he was accustomed to. The corners of Demetri's mouth turned upwards as he looked Edward over appreciatively. "I know how to pick 'em," Demetri commented.

"Excuse me?" Edward said.

"The tuxedo. It fits you perfectly! You look handsome," Demetri clarified.

"Oh! Thank you," he replied. "Yours is nice, as well." Demetri smiled at the compliment, while reciting the Greek alphabet internally.

Edward's tuxedo was a more traditional single breasted jacket with satin lapels. Underneath the jacket he wore a silver vest along with a simple black silk tie.

"Are you ready?" Edward asked, walking swiftly to the door.

"I am. I sincerely hope our little argument this afternoon hasn't spoiled your mood for the opera."

"Not at all, but I am a bit apprehensive about finding Salvatore," Edward paused, "Well not so much finding him, but the part where we are supposed to get him to talk to us. Do you do this kind of thing often? How has it turned out in the past?"

Demetri opened the door to their suite and allowed Edward to exit first. "This is not something we have to do often. Aro has only found gifts he wants for his Guard on rare occasions. Generally, it goes over rather well. Being a member of the Volturi Guard gives you opportunities that would not be available for a standard nomadic vampire. There has only been one vampire that has turned them down."

"What happened to that vampire?" Edward questioned.

"I honestly wouldn't know," Demetri answered, staring straight ahead.

The pair had decided to walk to the theatre. Parking was limited, and Edward wanted to be able to see as much of Milan as he could in their restricted time there. The evening was cool, but neither man noticed.

By the time they arrived at La Scala, Edward was so enlivened that his body was practically humming. He had wanted to visit this place since he was human, and spent a large part of the walk wondering why he had not yet done it.

Once he was actually standing in front of the theatre, Edward was purely in wonder at the enormity of it. He simply stood for a few moments, letting the surreal moment sink into his tingling skin as he realized this was the first time any of his human dreams had ever been fulfilled.

Edward had traveled, been through university many times, mastered the piano, and composed numerous musical pieces, but standing in front of that theatre, he realized he had enjoyed none of it. Edward -so _very_ much- wanted to enjoy this without hating himself, but could not figure out how.

Edward turned to Demetri who was looking at him thoughtfully. Edward once again tried to get a reading of his thoughts, but was simply met with a limerick.

"Let's get inside, E," the older vampire said.

Edward's reactions continued to be exuberant once they got inside, as he animatedly pointed out different points of the architecture or the history of certain parts. Edward was completely aware that –being from Italy and centuries old- Demetri knew all this, but it did not stop him from raving like a child with a new toy. Demetri's smile never faded as they found their seats.

As they settled in, Demetri subtly reminded Edward they had a task to do by thinking loudly of Salvatore's location in the opera house. They were seated in the Royal box, and Edward was perplexed at how they could be seated there at such short notice. He assumed that being alive for thousands of years would allow the Volturi to form some very powerful connections. Regardless, they had a bird's eye view of the entire theatre.

_He's in the seventh row in the middle section of the floor, third seat from the left,_ Demetri thought.

Edward searched the rows and his eyes came to rest on an extremely petite vampire. From his seated position the humans beside him were a full head taller. He had dark blonde hair and was wearing tinted spectacles. Despite his size, Edward guessed the vampire was turned in his mid-thirties based on his facial features. Upon Edward's inspection of him, the small vampire began looking around curiously.

"He knows we're here," Edward said to Demetri. "He has heard my thoughts."

"Is he going to leave?" Demetri asked, rising from his seat.

"No. He wants to see the opera. Apparently, he bought the ticket quite some time ago, and refuses to be deterred. He is very confused because I am reading his thoughts as he reads mine," Edward replied, relieved he would not have to leave yet. Demetri settled back into his seat.

"Excellent. I did not want you to miss this, E," Demetri whispered to Edward while leaning into him. Edward's collar suddenly felt very confining and he tugged at his tie, loosening the knot a bit.

The lights flashed signaling the beginning of the opera, and a few moments later the maestro began.

Edward was immediately swept up in the music. The acoustics from where they were seated were simply unmatched. He could not recall a time when he had felt music was something so utterly tangible; he was completely carried away by it. He was surrounded by the melodious tones; they embraced him, and he felt loved. He was enveloped in it like a fleece blanket, wool sweater, or his mother's arms. His body throbbed with the percussion, and his still heart swelled. He easily tuned out all the internal voices, as many of them were in the same place he was.

Edward wrapped his arms around himself and closed his eyes letting his brow rise and fall with the tonal changes. He drummed him fingers against his upper arms when he felt he could no longer hold still. The young vampire was virtually unrecognizable, as his face glowed with a wide smile.

When _Nessun Dorma _–Edward's favorite- began, he was overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude. Edward was grateful that he had his ears to enjoy beautiful music. Edward was grateful he had a family he would be able to go back to. Edward was grateful for his parents that –although they were no longer with him- had given him enough love to last him centuries. He was grateful he had found romance –however fleeting- with Bella. Above all, at that moment, Edward was grateful he was _alive. _He could scarcely comprehend it.

Edward was so oblivious to what was going on around him that he did not notice Salvatore rising to leave. Demetri elbowed Edward roughly and pointed to Salvatore making his exit.

_How fitting, _Demetri thought.

"We've reached the end of what Puccini wrote before his death," Edward finished for him, still smiling despite their need for an early departure.

Demetri nodded, his thoughts quickly turning to the hunt. They both stood and silently left their box to pursue Salvatore.

The cold evening air cleared Edward's head, and he searched the night for the small vampire's thoughts. Edward clearly saw in Demetri's mind the 'map' that would lead them to Salvatore, and was quite intrigued by it. Sure enough, Edward saw Salvatore's mental signature shining in Demetri's head like a beacon.

"This way," Demetri said, guiding Edward to the left. The pair walked several blocks before Edward heard what he was searching for. From what he gathered, Salvatore was apprehensive and quite fearful.

_There is no need to run or to be afraid, _Edward thought. _We simply have a…business proposition for you._

_You can hear me, as well? _the other vampire asked curiously.

_Yes I can, _Edward thought.

"What's happening, E? Can you hear him?" Demetri asked, looking around keenly. He did not like being out of the loop.

Edward nodded. "I'm speaking with him," he replied, feeling strange about having a completely internal conversation.

_You are not here to harm me? _Salvatore questioned.

Edward felt a warm sensation behind his eyes and without thought answered, _No, we only wish to speak with you. _Edward gasped when he realized that he had just been made to answer.

"What is it?" Demetri asked while grabbing Edward's arm.

"He can make you tell the truth, as well as read your thoughts. I felt him do it. I was compelled without any knowledge as to why," Edward said, shaking his head attempting to ward off the fuzzy feeling that had come over him. "It is rather disconcerting."

_Stay where you are and I will come to you,_ Salvatore thought finally.

"How does that differ from your ability, E?" Demetri questioned Edward.

"With my ability I can only read thoughts, not truth. You can still lie or block me," Edward paused to give Demetri a loaded look, "If he asks you a question you _will _answer, whether it is internal or external."

"Interesting," Demetri commented, raising his eyebrows as the corners of his mouth turned down. "Will he speak with us?"

"Yes. He's wants us to wait. He will be here in a few moments," Edward said scanning the night and shuffling his feet uncomfortably. Everything still felt so surreal and dreamlike to Edward. If he could sleep, he might believe this was all some bizarre hallucination his subconscious had delivered to him.

Demetri and Edward stood shifting back and forth on their feet, ready to defend themselves if danger presented itself. Edward heard the thoughts of Salvatore as he grew closer, and both men could smell him as he approached. "He'll be here in about twenty seconds," Demetri said, looking in every direction.

"There he is," Edward said as he nodded in the direction of the approaching shadows.

"This should be interesting." Demetri began walking towards the small vampire slowly, as not to seem aggressive.

"Hello, my friend," Edward greeted while holding his hand out to the small vampire.

"Hello," Salvatore said meekly. He was so timid; Edward could hardly imagine him viciously attacking and ripping into flesh for a meal.

"Do not let my size fool you, Edward," Salvatore stated, his face serious. Edward was taken off guard. He was not at all familiar with needing to hide his thoughts. "I can be quite ferocious when need be." Neither Edward nor Demetri missed the warning in the statement.

"I guess introductions are hardly necessary then," Demetri said, smiling. He looked back and forth from Salvatore to Edward attempting to diffuse the tension that was rapidly escalating. "I am, of course, Demetri, and it seems you and E here have already had time for a bit of chit chat."

"Yes. Now please explain why you wish to speak with me. I was able to pick up a bit from the two of you, but would like a more thorough explanation," Salvatore requested warily.

Demetri took a step closer to Salvatore. "Allow me to explain it to you, sir," he whispered….

About an hour later, Demetri and Edward found themselves back at their hotel suite, discussing the conversation that had just transpired.

Demetri had thoroughly explained the purpose of the visit to Salvatore, and the diminutive vampire was unable to hide his intrigue. They had given him a card with the necessary contact information, as Aro had instructed. Demetri let him know where they were staying for the night, but after that he would need to use the information provided. It was made very clear to Salvatore that this was to be kept private, and he completely understood.

Edward was undeniably relieved to have the conversation done with. Things could not have gone better, as there was no violence whatsoever. Edward harbored no hope that future missions would be this easy, and knew he would have to be involved in physical altercations at some point. He was content to put those off as long as possible.

"Aro will not stop until he has that young man as a member," Demetri stated suddenly. "I hope he easily accepts, for his sake." Edward nodded. He knew how far Aro's reach went, and what he was capable of in order to get what he wanted.

Edward was currently reclining against the side arm on the sofa in the sitting room. He sat at an angle so that he was turned towards Demetri, who was seated in the armchair with his feet propped up on the coffee table. Demetri was looking intently at the fake flowers on the table, reciting the E-section of the dictionary internally. Edward snickered. He pinched the bridge of his nose, closed his eyes, and began rolling his shoulders alternately.

Demetri looked up at Edward noticing that he looked strained. "Tense, E?" Demetri questioned, while rising from his seated position.

"Yes. I'm still spinning from the last few days. I'm pleased to have a few moments to unwind," Edward stated, eyes still tightly closed. Demetri took the opportunity to slide behind Edward on the arm of the sofa, and started massaging his shoulders lightly. Edward flinched at the contact and opened his eyes abruptly.

"That's really not necessary. You know we don't suffer from tight muscles…"

"It might not be necessary, E, but you know that it feels nice," Demetri interrupted, the smirk evident in his voice.

"Honestly, I appreciate it, but I'm…"

"Honestly, just enjoy it, E. Sometimes things can be done just because," Demetri stated as he deepened the touches he was placing on Edward's shoulders. Edward remembered his revelation in front of the opera house, and decided there would be no harm in letting him continue. It _did _feel extraordinarily nice, and no one had touched him –other than Alice hugging him goodbye- in months.

Demetri's hands made tracks across Edward's shoulders and up his neck. He allowed his eyes to once again slide shut and simply revel in the contact that he was receiving; it was not without difficulty, as Edward was not used to physical comfort in any form. He began to grow uncomfortable with the silence as Demetri touched him, and asked, "So, tell me about yourself."

"Well, I'm six feet and three inches tall, my favorite color is green, and I enjoy long strolls –in the evening of course-, I loathe when people wear black shoes with a brown belt…" Demetri started jokingly.

"That wasn't exactly what I was talking about," Edward muttered, fingers once again pinching the bridge of his nose.

Demetri paused in his ministrations. "I know, E. It's just…not a very happy story that I have; I made some poor decisions. There are many that are much worse, but I don't get pleasure from the telling of it."

"I swear not to judge you by your past, Demetri," Edward said, looking over his shoulder at him. Demetri took a deep breath.

"So you only judge me by my present, then?" Demetri questioned, tone stiff.

"What do you mean by that?" Edward inquired curiously.

"I know you think that because of what I do, that I am nothing more than a thug," Demetri stated quietly, as he completely stopped massaging Edward's shoulders.

"Well, change my mind. I have shared much about myself. Tell me," Edward said, turning fully to look at Demetri.

Demetri nodded, his jaw set firmly. He turned Edward back around forcefully and began working his back once more.

"I was born in 1416 in Greece. I was only 4 years old when my parents migrated to Portugal, due to the pressure from the oncoming Turkish Ottoman Empire. At that time they had not fully overthrown Greece, but my parents wanted to avoid any oppression. It was a long, hard journey, but I remember none of it.

"It was the age of discovery and Portugal and Spain were at the heart of it, as you well know. Prince Henry was very open in his quest to discover new things, opening a school of navigation at Sagres, Portugal, and I was eager to learn. I wanted to be on the forefront of innovation. I was arrogant. Since a tender age I had been…gifted somewhat with direction. I had a knack for finding the hopelessly lost, and an uncanny sense of bearing.

"1429 I began my education at Henry the Navigator's school, learning navigation, map-making, and science. I know that sounds very young to you, but I'm sure you're familiar with the life span in the 15th century; it is nothing like it is now. I excelled in every subject I attempted and quickly rose to one of the best in my field.

"Once I completed my education, I set out to find new and undiscovered parts of the world. I would be out to sea for months at a time. Even now, I miss that feeling of being lulled to sleep by the ocean's capable hands," Demetri stopped speaking for a moment, but his hands continued without faltering across Edward's back. Edward had leaned forward and was now practically sprawled upon the sofa, his stomach against the cool leather.

"In 1434 I set out as a member of the navigation crew with Gil Eannes, and we became the first ship to actually sail around Cape Bojador, which was quite a feat considering that everyone thought that the world was flat at the time; it was considered the _Green Sea of Darkness. _Everyone was convinced we would drop off the face of the Earth. We actually landed on the coastal desert of what is now Africa. Of course, it was only Eannes that got credit for it, although I felt I had done more than my fair share to aid in the journey. I was eighteen at the time and easily dismissed.

"It was also in 1434 that I was introduced to Leonor," Demetri paused, his voice failing and going quiet. "Leonor was the daughter of one of the crewman I frequently sailed with. She was unfailingly kind. Not beautiful or horribly witty, just exceptionally loving. I have never encountered anyone else that could look at me with the same adoration as she."

"Er, forgive me, but I was somewhat under the impression that you, er…." Edward spluttered.

"Preferred men?" Demetri finished for Edward. "You would be correct in your presumption, E, but it took a long while for me to discover. I had never thought of it to be an option, so I had never explored that side of myself."

"I apologize for interrupting. Please, continue," Edward said, squirming a bit as this type of discussion made him feel strangely. Demetri laughed quietly.

"Regardless, I felt very deeply about her. I had not known affection as I did with her. She was always diligently waiting for me after long journeys. She was so attentive, 'Demetri, let me rub your feet', or 'My love, you look weary, come warm yourself by the fire, and tell of your latest adventure'. I never appreciated her the way I should have. Always gone, always thinking of leaving. Oh, Leonor…

"We were betrothed in 1436, and set to marry the following year. I was always so eager to be at sea, I did not want to marry anytime soon. In 1437 I was on a rather lengthy journey; I had begun working on merchant ships since the pay was steadier than simple exploration. I was gone several months, and upon my return I found that, in my absence, Leonor had been…violated –in the very worst way you can imagine- and murdered…rather brutally so. Somehow, no one knew who her attacker could have been, but I knew," Demetri stopped, hurt clear in his voice. He gulped audibly and continued, "Something as brutal as what was done to Leonor…it leaves a very strong signature. Even as a human, _I knew_ who was to blame. And _I _found them. There were three men involved. I made them pay with their lives. They begged me for mercy, confessing all before I was done. I bled them dry, and _I enjoyed their agony._ I prayed that it was even a small percentage of the absolute, complete anguish that had invaded every cell in my body. It was all made worse when I thought about how I had put things off with Leonor. I should have been at home, and she should have shared that home with me as _my wife_. I was the worst kind of monster, and I hated myself.

"They sure as hell knew who killed those men, and wasted no time putting me away. I was set to be executed. The justice system moved very quickly in those days, and within a matter of weeks I was facing death; I was not afraid to die, in fact, I awaited it with open arms. At that time, the Volturi sometimes 'bought' prisoners sentenced to death, rounding them up to feed on them. It seems strange, yes, but even the distance between Portugal and Italy is not too much for the Volturi. I was shipped and delivered to them. Aro was about to sink his teeth into my neck -his hands grasping the sides of my head- when he read the potential I had straight from my memories. He bit me still, but softly whispered to me as I started burning, telling me his story and of what I was to become. I was absolutely horrified. Not only was I a murderer, but I would be the phantom of children's nightmares! I wanted to die, E, just as much as you want to," Demetri said, as his hands traveled lower on Edward's back.

"I think of myself more of a detective than a murderer, E. What I do, I do to protect the world I am made to live in. It was never a choice for me," Demetri finished. Edward could not speak immediately. Several moments passed as he contemplated everything Demetri had just told him.

"So, you're 590 years old?" Edward asked, mentally slapping himself for talking about that first.

"Yes, E. Well, 589. I am fairly certain my birthday was in November," Demetri said softly.

"I-I don't know how to express how sorry I am about what happened to y—"

"Don't bother yourself over it, E. It was so long ago, many of the memories have faded into what seem like dreams. They do not take my breath away the way that they did when they were fresh. Thanks, E. I hate to know what you must think of me now," Demetri said anxiously.

"Your reactions were no different than mine would have been in your position. Of that, I am sure. I think," Edward paused, formulating his next words carefully, "I think that I can…understand the way you feel about your current position. I would never be comfortable…feeding from humans, but you are obviously a smart man and I won't judge you. Not by your past or present."

Demetri chuckled, placing his mouth close to Edward's ear. When he spoke Edward felt the vibrations of his words, and his lips brushed the sensitive skin of Edward's lobe. "Thanks, E." His lips lingered by Edward's ear a few seconds longer than would have been considered simply friendly.

Edward felt warm, and was suddenly very aware of the position the two men were currently in. Edward, with his stomach to the sofa, while Demetri sat on his thighs rubbing soothing circles on the lower part of Edward's back. Demetri was thinking of the average flying speeds of birds in North America.

Demetri's hands applied the lightest of pressure and moved smoothly over Edward's clothed back. They were silent for a few moments until Demetri slid his hands under the fabric of Edward's shirt and began rubbing the bare skin he found there, just above the waistband of his pants. He ran his agile fingers up Edward's spine slowly, leaving a trail that felt like tiny pinpricks in their wake. Demetri's hands felt warm on his chilled skin, and Edward felt a stirring in his lower abdomen as a low moan escaped his lips involuntarily. He was very, _very _aware of the constriction he felt in his trousers as they became disturbingly tight.

Edward could not fathom what caused that kind of reaction. For a few moments he allowed Demetri to continue, confused as to what he should do. Demetri's lithe touches were addictive, and Edward did not want him to remove his hands from his needy skin. However, he was tremendously embarrassed at his traitorous body, and suddenly the room seemed awfully small. He needed to think. More than anything, he _needed _to get away from Demetri, and regain control of himself.

"I have to go," Edward said, rising from the sofa without turning around, keeping his awkward state from Demetri. He abruptly left the room without giving the other man a chance to answer.

**Author's note: Ah! Poor Edward. What in the world just happened? **

**You can bet he's pretty freaked out right now.**

**And what about Demetri? Did his story surprise you at all?**

**Let me know, whether you feel like it or not. Just kidding! No, for serious tell me what you thought. : ) For Serious. **


	6. Befuddlement Accepted

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. She owns and I don't. Except for a sweet, new James Dean zippo. : ) **

**Author's note: I posted an outtake from this story from Demetri's POV. It's called Hide and Seek. It does contain very mild spoilers for this story, but if you're as anxious for some action between these two guys as I was, then it is well worth it. It takes place a few months in the future from where we are currently. It's my first attempt at first person POV so please let me know how you like it. **

Edward flew from the room as though hellhounds were panting down his neck. His skin still tingled lightly from Demetri's fingers that had only moments before traced the contours of his back. He felt cold, even more so than usual.

As he reached the mirrored doors of the elevator, he looked himself over, taking in his disheveled state. He looked positively panicked, and as his eyes traveled down his unkempt clothing, he realized he was still visibly aroused.

"Damn," he muttered, while attempting to adjust himself. Already thoroughly mortified and confused, he did not want to add lewd to the list.

The doors finally slid open and his reflection disappeared. _If only it were that effortless, _he thought, groaning. He stepped inside, leaned against the wall, and put his face in his hands. He rubbed his cheeks vigorously, and his fingers found themselves in his hair, pulling on the bronze strands trying to extract some kind of answer as to why his body reacted the way that it did.

He took swift breaths of frustration, and each one forced Demetri's scent of sugar cane, hot buttered rum and the sea into his already addled head, as it clung to his clothing. He found himself inhaling much slower and deeper, making the excuse that he was simply attempting to calm down. In the back of his mind he knew better. The process was doing nothing for the problem below his belt.

The elevator opened in the lobby, and Edward made his way outside as hurriedly as would be conceived humanly possible.

Once he was outdoors, the relief he had expected did not come. The night air did nothing to clear his head, and the darkness seemed oppressive. He paced back and forth several times in front of the lobby doors. He could not go back into that room and face Demetri knowing what had taken place. How could this be actually happening to him?

Edward quickly decided that he would leave a note for Demetri at the front desk and have it delivered to him once he was gone. He would run back to Volterra. There was no feasible way he would be able to endure another journey in an enclosed vehicle completely saturated with _his _scent, and running was something he had become very practiced at over the last year of his life.

The pacing Edward had done had worked in easing the strain in his trousers, and he was able to reenter the hotel to create his message. Demetri would be confused as to why Edward left, but he knew that he could create a viable excuse. He did not enjoy lying, but this was –yet again- something he was growing accustomed to.

The clerk at the front desk obligingly let Edward pen a short note for Demetri and promised to have it delivered within the next few minutes. He nodded, thanked the clerk, and once again exited the lobby.

Edward maintained his human façade until he reached the outskirts of Milan. He watched his feet take each step, counting as he matched each number with a breath in or out. As soon as he felt he was away from curious eyes, he broke out in a run.

_Okay, _he thought, _time to think. _

Edward felt thoroughly betrayed. Whether by Demetri's advances or by his body, he was unsure. He could not deny the influence that Demetri's comforting touch had on him. He had become obviously stimulated, and that was something that mystified him greatly. Never, in more than a century of living, had his body taken control like that. Edward had always prided himself on his unending restraint. He was practiced and patient.

He mulled over the times that he had kissed Bella; the heat of her lips had been remarkable, but he had remained unmoved. He would hold her tiny, sleeping, feminine body as her dreams became vocal; many times she would get overexcited, her heavily aroused scent permeating the air, but even then…

How was it that the love of his existence couldn't rouse physical reactions from him, yet the mere touch of a practical stranger—a male stranger at that- elicited such impious reactions? The guilt and shame of it made Edward run faster, imploring the wind to liberate him of these feelings.

_Bella has been dead two days…I can't trust _any _of my reactions right now. _That was it. Edward was so overwhelmed by grief that his body reacted to the even the most infinitesimal stimuli.

Had Demetri taken advantage of him? Edward knew that Demetri was somewhat attracted to him. The few thoughts he had allowed to slip through clearly showed that, but would he make some sort of untoward advance on Edward?

Being honest with himself, Edward was aware that the affection he'd received since his turning was quite limited, and at times, the want for a caring touch materialized. Those wants had only increased since he had grown so accustomed to the physical attention he'd received from Bella. Yes, Edward could have easily stopped Demetri, but he did not. He could not blame Demetri for that.

Edward had obviously enjoyed it, whether his mind had been completely conscious of it or not.

The deceitfulness of his body made Edward rethink all of the events of the past few days. How could he trust any of the conversations, revelations, or thoughts of the past forty-eight hours after what happened? But, he desired to. His meditations before and during the opera had brought out a new kind of need in Edward. He was weary of hating himself, tired of running, and exhausted by guilt, but could not grasp the concept of where to start freeing himself of it. How could he like himself, being what he was? How could he get past the remorse of what happened to Bella? When would he believe that he warranted any contentment?

Obviously, he was out of his mind.

Edward was nearing Volterra, so he stopped to hunt in one of the smaller forests surrounding the city. He had just fed the day before, but was unsure of when he would get the chance again. He wanted to remain as sated as possible, because he knew the Volturi would tempt him at every turn.

Once he had stopped running and began hunting, Edward was once again assaulted by Demetri's sweet, earthy scent still clinging to the shirt he wore. He angrily took the offending clothing off, not wanting to be reminded of what happened, or the fact that he wanted it to happen again.

Edward would simply have to avoid Demetri.

He reentered Volterra shortly after finishing his hunt, and was surprised to find that Demetri had beaten him there. Edward already understood that after any mission is completed, the first thing to be done is report. He found Aro in his private quarters, Demetri giving details on how the visit with Salvatore had transpired. As always, Renata was with Aro, and Chelsea was lounging by the fire.

Aro smiled brightly at Edward, beckoning him closer. "Ah, Edward, I see you've made it through your first mission unscathed. From what Demetri has shown me, things seem to have gone better than expected. You were very helpful, Edward, thank you!" Aro held his hand out expectantly. "He also let me know you needed some time to clear your mind. In the future, I would ask that any altered travel plans be cleared through me first. We are, after all, trying to maintain some anonymity. I know you are aware of this, but we must stick to our plans whenever possible."

Edward had not moved any closer, and he knew that Aro was growing impatient. Edward did not want _anyone _–least of all Aro- knowing what had transpired. Demetri was unaware of the state that Edward had left in, and he wanted to keep it that way. Surely, Demetri's side of the mission should be enough for Aro. Edward had yet to look at Demetri, but he knew he needed to, and soon. The longer he avoided glancing at him, the more his embarrassment became evident.

"I was under the impression you had already seen what happened through Demetri. Is it really necessary that I give you my side, as well?" Edward asked.

He finally chanced a glance at Demetri, who met his eyes briefly before looking down at his shoes, his brow furrowed. It was then that Edward remembered he was shirtless. Demetri had not spoken since Edward entered the room.

"Edward, you know I will learn eventually. What have you to hide? Come here, dear boy, you are trying an old man's patience," Aro said, gesticulating impatiently.

Edward finally accepted, and pressed his palm to Aro's. He vision clouded over for a few moments, as both he and Edward relived his discomfiture.

Aro eventually released Edward's hand, sniggering slightly. "You may go, Demetri," Aro said, his eyes never leaving Edward. Demetri looked back and forth between Edward and Aro wearing his puzzlement openly.

"I said, you may go, Demetri," Aro repeated, his tone a bit more firm. Demetri pursed his lips, looked at Edward once more, and then left.

"Edward, you need to be careful," Aro said, once Demetri had departed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Edward lied. Aro laughed at him freely.

"I understand, young man, that you have been….. bombarded with several changes. Don't add another one," Aro clarified.

"What are you implying?" Edward asked incredulously.

"I can clearly see how troubled you are, and confused. Sort yourself out, Edward," Aro answered cryptically.

"But what c—"

Chelsea stood abruptly. "Edward, would you mind walking with me to the art gallery?" she piped in, cutting Edward short before he could begin berating Aro.

Edward stared at her with his mouth agape, the words he wanted to say hanging on the tip of his tongue. He looked back at Aro, who still had a self-satisfied sneer on his face. Edward closed his eyes and mouth, shaking his head slightly.

_There's no point in starting an argument, he will not speak on it any further, _Chelsea thought. Edward reopened his eyes and looked at Chelsea. "Of course," he said.

Edward walked over to Chelsea, offering her his arm. She took it and gave him a warm smile. "Good day, Aro," she said, giving a nod to the older vampire. Edward just glared as he led her out of the room.

"Would you mind too horribly if we stopped at my room so that I may get another shirt?" Edward asked Chelsea. She laughed at him brightly, throwing her head back slightly.

"Of course we can, Edward. How did you lose it in the first place?" she chortled. Edward ran a discouraged hand through his hair.

"Er, I, um.."

"You must have gotten it dirty hunting. I'm sure that's what it was," Chelsea said. Edward readily agreed with her.

Edward hastily went into his room while Chelsea waited outside for him. He found that the extra clothing Demetri had acquired for him was already carefully put away, his closet full, and his chest of drawers containing articles neatly folded. Edward paused for moment, feeling reprehensible for running and leaving Demetri to handle everything. He shook the feeling off, donned a fresh shirt, and met Chelsea back in the hall.

"You must learn to pick your battles here, Edward," Chelsea whispered conspiratorially, after having walked for several minutes.

"I understand that, I'm just so….careworn. I don't even know where to begin," Edward told her honestly.

He surveyed the small female vampire, and realized she very much looked like an immortal version of Bella. Her long dark locks and heart shaped face were painfully familiar to him, and he had to glance away.

"What's wrong?" she asked him, noticing his disheartened expression. Edward saw no reason not to answer her honestly. He was tired of keeping secrets and telling lies.

"Your appearance is very similar to someone I knew," he said, attempting to sound dismissive.

"Your human?" Chelsea seemed to have a quiet, kind way about her that compelled Edward to confide in her somewhat. He did not feel pushed as he did with Demetri.

"Yes," he replied, once again meeting her eyes.

"Edward, listen, I know this isn't easy. You are an incredibly different type of vampire than all of us here. If you want to talk, you can trust me. Here, read my mind," she said laughingly and closed her eyes. Edward chuckled.

"You don't have to close your eyes for me to read your mind."

"I know that," she said playfully, punching him lightly on the arm.

"It doesn't quite work like that anyway. Apparently, I can be blocked quite easily. Just ask Demetri," Edward said pointedly.

"Demetri does everything well," Chelsea stated, pressing her lips together. Edward scoffed. Chelsea quirked an eyebrow at him.

"He is terribly outspoken…and forceful," Edward said. Chelsea nodded.

"Demetri has been around long enough to know his convictions and follow-through on them without fail. Once you have existed for so long, things become almost simplistic. You know how your life is to be lived, and you live it. Sometimes, it becomes difficult not to be easily frustrated with those who do not understand. The struggle of learning is easily forgotten, which is a blessing and curse. He may be empathetic to your situation, but it does not stop him from pushing. His only wish is to help," Chelsea said earnestly.

They had reached the art gallery, and were now strolling around slowly, gazing at the different canvases that adorned the walls.

"That's Edvard Munch?! _The Scream_?" Edward asked disbelievingly. "That was stolen."

"Well the Volturi found it. Stolen works of art have a way of finding themselves here," Chelsea giggled. "Here is _Madonna with the Yarnwinder,_ by da Vinci." Edward looked at her dubiously. "We generally return them after some time."

"You know him well?" Edward asked, his interest in Demetri poorly hidden. He continued to look at the artwork on the walls, feigning nonchalance.

"Who? Da Vinci?" she asked. Edward did not want to elaborate. "I'm kidding you, Edward. Yes, I imagine so. I've been with the Volturi since the seventeenth century so Demetri and I have been acquainted quite some time. I would count him as a friend," Chelsea replied.

Images flashed through Edward's head of an unclothed Demetri, approaching slowly with a lazy smirk on his face. "You were lovers?" he asked before he could stop the words flowing from his mouth. _Where is my propriety? _Edward mentally chided himself.

Chelsea peered down at hands, looking discomfited. "Yes, a very long time ago," she answered hesitantly.

"Before…"

"Before he knew his current preferences," she finished.

"You were in love with him?" Edward urged her to continue.

"And you said Demetri was pushy…" Chelsea said jokingly. "I believe I was. It was very physical…and very brief. He broke things off when he realized it was more than just a bit of fun for me."

The site of a fully naked Demetri replayed itself consecutively in Edward's mind. He could not bring himself to look at Chelsea, but he knew she was staring at him.

"What happened in Milan, Edward?" Chelsea requested softly.

"Hmm?" Edward hummed, quickly turning towards Chelsea. "Oh, nothing to speak of."

"Then, why the reluctance with Aro?"

"I," Edward started, afraid voicing his reaction to Demetri would firmly cement it in reality.

"It's fine, Edward. You've had a very trying time, as of late. You don't have to speak of it. I am here, though, if you need to unload."

"Thank you. I just feel so guilty about Bella," Edward said.

"Do you want to talk about why you feel guilty?" Chelsea asked obligingly.

Edward deliberated for a moment. There were so many aspects of his life he felt guilty over, and he usually spoke to Carlisle of such things. Carlisle was not there, and would not be there.

"Bella and I were together for six months. Before her, I thought that I would never find someone who garnered my attention. Someone who interested me. She did. I could not read her mind; she was the only person I ever encountered who was silent to me," Edward stated.

"Is that why you were attracted to her?" Chelsea asked. He looked at her for a moment, perplexed. "I mean, you hear the worst from people, their prejudices, their wicked nature, it would only be natural to be drawn towards one that was still a mystery, yes? You would not know the horrible thoughts that all humans are capable of. Therefore, you could love her, and not be disgusted. Correct?" Chelsea questioned.

In all Edward's musings and the tireless stream of contemplations he'd had over his relationship with Bella, he had never considered that he was attracted to silence before he was attracted to the girl. "Yes," Edward answered, the corners of his mouth turning down as he nodded.

"And why the guilt now?" Chelsea asked him.

"To make an extremely involved story short, at her eighteenth birthday, my brother, Jasper, tried to kill her after she received a small paper cut. I realized she wasn't meant to be a part of the world I live in, and I left. My family left, as well. I only wanted to keep her safe. A few days ago, she was hiking, and was murdered by another vampire.

"You see, several months ago, she was nearly killed by a tracker named James, who was obsessed with the hunt. He saw her as a challenge since she had seven vampires ready to defend her. I killed James, and then his mate, Victoria, wanted revenge. She sent a friend, Laurent, to find Bella, and he murdered her," Edward finished.

"How do you know all this?"

"My sister, Alice, sees the future. She had a vision, and we realized it came too late to change. Alice could find no future for Bella, no matter what we tried," he answered.

"Edward," she started, "your decisions were foolhardy, but I see enough to know your intentions were noble. Learn to let go. You have a long time yet. Let go."

"How? One moment I'm glad to be alive, the next I feel guilty for it. I don't feel I deserve to exist, yet I want to. I mean, I want to do more than just exist. Am I making any sense?" Edward said, while Chelsea nodded the entire time.

"That is something I can't answer for you. I can listen, I can give you advice. You know the rest, Edward," she said sympathetically.

"I'm so tired," he said.

"I know," Chelsea replied, rubbing Edward's arm.

The two spoke a few minutes longer, Edward asking Chelsea about her ability to strengthen or loosen relationships. Edward was impressed with what Chelsea could do, fully understanding why Aro wanted her for his coven. He decided that he was quite fond of her.

As they emerged from the art gallery, Edward found Demetri stationed outside the door, patiently waiting on him. Demetri looked worried, but quickly cleared his face of the expression replacing it with a dashing smile.

"Hello, E…Chelsea," he greeted, taking Chelsea's hand and placing a chaste kiss on the back of it. Chelsea giggled softly, while Edward remained stiff. His gaze continued to go back to Demetri's hands, noticing how large and strong they looked.

"E? Hello, E?" Demetri guffawed. Apparently, he had been trying to garner Edward's attention unsuccessfully. Edward snapped his eyes to Demetri's face.

"I'm sorry…What did you ask?" Edward asked, feeling foolish for being caught staring.

"Would you speak with me briefly?" Demetri repeated, putting his hands in his pockets.

Edward indicated his agreement, and the two men said goodbye to Chelsea. Edward promptly became apprehensive.

_Please don't let him know, please don't let him know… _Edward repeated the mantra over and over.

"I simply wanted a chance to apologize. It's quite evident that I made you uncomfortable last night, and I need you to be aware that it will not happen again," Demetri said decisively. Edward was taken off guard, he was positive Demetri would press him for a reason for his swift departure the previous evening.

"Thank you," Edward replied. "I should apologize, as well. I left you to take care of everything on your own. I should have thought it through a little more. I've just been…"

"No need to explain, E. I know I've been somewhat…obtrusive, but you'll have to forgive me. Honestly, I had nothing but the best of intentions, and I hate to see anyone miserable. I imagine I'm not so good at making friends. We don't exactly have a large turnover rate here," Demetri chuckled.

What Edward did not want Demetri to know was that he had made Edward feel better. Whether it was Demetri compelling him to speak, or his comforting physical attention Edward was not sure. But what he was completely aware of was that Demetri needed to keep thinking that Edward was uncomfortable around him.

"I understand. Just remember that I remain in the same position as a few days ago. I am not looking to make friends," Edward reiterated. Demetri looked crestfallen, but hid it rapidly.

"Sure, E, I remember."

A few weeks passed, and Edward had not been called upon for any other missions. Chelsea and Edward were becoming close, which Edward was wary of. He had made a promise early on to remain neutral to the other members of the guard. However, he could not deny it was comforting to have a friend in the dismal position he held.

Edward used much of his time to settle into his new existence in Volterra. He stayed away from Demetri as much as possible. The occurrence in Milan was still not something he was ready to scrutinize any further.

Saint Marcus Day had arrived, and the Volturi and their guard were enthralled by the prospect of a hearty meal. Edward dreaded it.

Volterra was the safest city in the world for its residents. Because the Volturi did not want to draw attention to themselves, they kept the city free of crime. The only exception to that rule was the occasional tourist, which the city was full of on such a holiday as Saint Marcus. The comical part of it was that Saint Marcus day was the celebration of vampires being driven from Italy by Marcus himself, who now sat on the throne as one of the primary members of the coven.

The day started with Aro ordering Heidi to procure their meal as any other, although the variety would be much better than the standard Italian that the palate of the Volturi generally encountered. Edward wanted to get away from the city walls by the time the frenzy began. The thoughts of each victim would cause him much misery, and his already tumultuous state could not handle it.

Edward was standing in the main corridor—on his way out- when he witnessed Heidi bringing the first round of victims to the feeding rooms. Her face was brightly lit with a gleaming smile, and the minds of the tourists were calm. They thought they were simply getting an in depth tour of the history of Volterra; Edward knew better and was thoroughly sickened when envisioning their fate.

Edward was not aware that Demetri was approaching him, and was surprised when the older vampire clutched his arm, bending over to speak to him quietly. "Let's get you away from here," Demetri said.

Edward agreed, and Demetri led him out, still holding his arm gently. Edward allowed the contact.

They emerged into the lobby, and swiftly made their way outside. All Edward saw once in the busy streets was a sea of red, as the occupants were celebrating and parading in costume.

"Thank you," Edward said, looking down.

"No problem, E," Demetri replied. "How have you been?" Edward turned towards Demetri.

"As well as can be expected."

"Well, that's better than awful," Demetri said, a half-smile blossoming at the corners of his mouth.

Edward inspected Demetri closely, and noticed there was something different about him. He glanced him over quickly, and with a short gasp, realized what it was.

"Your eyes have gold in them," Edward said curiously, feeling a warm rush in the pit of his stomach.

"Er, yes, E. I've taken to hunting in the surrounding forest. I thought it might be good sport," Demetri chuckled lamely.

"Why have you really?" Edward asked, deciding to do some pushing of his own.

"You're a good influence on me?" Demetri replied, his statement sounding like a question. Edward accepted what Demetri said, but filed away his reaction for later.

"Would you like to go hunting with me?" Demetri appeared taken aback by Edward's request, a shocked but pleased look on his face.

"Yes, I would, E," he replied.

The pair began walking, heading to the outskirts of the city, remaining in the shadows.

Once arriving to the forest, the two vampires began promptly looking for prey. Within a few moments, Edward detected the scent of a family of wild boars, and began his hunt.

They swiftly located the source of their searching. Demetri placed his arm across Edward's chest as he was about to pounce saying, "Leave the female."

"Of course," Edward replied. "You go ahead, for the male."

Demetri nodded, shrugged off his jacket laying it across a low hanging branch, and began stalking the largest male. Edward stood back a moment and observed. He watched as Demetri crouched into a predatory stance, his movements slow and sinuous, formulated and concise. He bent back on his haunches and sprung lithely, taking down the large animal swiftly. Demetri ripped into his prey's neck, drinking deeply. Edward could not look away. The actions were unconstrained and feral, beautiful and fluid. Edward was overcome with a sense of yearning. He could not overlook it; he could not explain it away this time. Edward was feeling _lust._

Demetri lifted his eyes to meet Edward's as he continued to drink from his kill. Edward was struck again by the fine, golden facets that glinted throughout Demetri's wine-red eyes. _Why is he drinking that when he could be in Volterra? _Edward thought. Demetri wondered why Edward wasn't hunting. Edward snapped out of his stupor and broke eye contact with Demetri, following the scent of the boars that had fled.

As Edward hunted, the memory he had read from Chelsea's thoughts played through his mind again, but this time he imagined Demetri, stripped and licentious, approaching _him_ with hooded eyes and slightly parted lips. When Demetri lowered his striking mouth to kiss his lover, it was _Edward's_ lips he met. Edward envisioned opening his mouth for Demetri's searching tongue, allowing it to meet his own, and finally learning the taste that compliments Demetri's warm scent.

_What is happening to me?! _Edward screamed at himself. He could not shake the desirous thoughts from his head.

Edward tried to recall if he had ever been attracted to a man in the past. As far back as he could remember, he had always seemed almost asexual, noticing neither men nor women. Not until Bella had he honestly contemplated sharing any kind of romantic relationship with anyone, and as Chelsea had so perceptively stated, the silence of Bella's mind was the initial—and possibly largest- part of Edward's attraction to her. Did this mean Edward was gay?

He tried to conjure in his mind a picture of Bella unclothed. He imagined her bare breasts, flat stomach, and her sloping curves. Edward felt nothing. His thoughts meandered back towards the angular lines of Demetri's slim hips, and the hard, lean muscles of his chest, arms, legs, and abdomen. Edward felt a pleasant clenching in his stomach, which promptly terrified him.

Bella had only been dead a few weeks, and Edward loved Bella. There was no way he could pursue any type of lustful feelings towards another without dishonoring her. There was no way he could pursue a _man_ at all.

His brothers, Emmett and Jasper, had always teased him relentlessly, making assumptions and joking that Edward should find a nice man, since he had never opted for female company. Had they been able to see what he had not? Just because he was quite obviously physically attracted to one man, didn't make him homosexual, did it?

Edward decided it did not matter because he was not free to explore the matter further. His heart belonged to Bella, and Bella was gone, thus was his heart.

Edward worked through some tension by hunting. Once he had had his fill, he went looking for Demetri. He found him sitting in a tree, his legs dangling down from either side of a large limb, reclining against the trunk.

"All done, E?" Demetri questioned.

"Yes. Do you think they're done?" Edward asked, looking at Demetri expectantly. Edward wanted to put his hands in Demetri's hair, as it was pleasantly tousled from the exertion.

"We've been gone a fair amount of time. It usually ends rather quickly," Demetri said, thoughts of previous slaughters seeping through to Edward. He cringed.

"I'm sorry, E," Demetri said, and promptly began thinking through the binomial nomenclature of the different animals that inhabited the woods. Edward laughed.

"That has to get tiresome," Edward commented.

"What?"

"Keeping me out all the time," Edward said, while gesturing to his head.

"It is kind of a challenge. I love to test myself, though. It rather entertains me, coming up with new things to keep you out," Demetri said, leaping down elegantly, sending a burst of his fragrance towards Edward.

"You are quite good at it," Edward divulged, smiling. "I often wonder what's really going on."

"Keep on wondering because I just get better and better with time," Demetri replied, returning Edward's smile and placing his arms back into his jacket.

Edward couldn't help but notice how handsome Demetri was, fully sated from the hunt, his skin slightly flushed. He looked away abruptly. The thoughts and feelings he was having needed to be suppressed. He had to deny himself if he was to uphold any bit of propriety he had remaining.

"I fully plan on it," Edward replied, still looking at his shoes.

Edward and Demetri parted ways once they were back underground. Edward found Chelsea waiting for him in his study.

"Are you okay?" Chelsea asked Edward as soon as he entered the room. He sat down in the armchair next to her, and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"No. I don't understand what's going on with me," Edward started, looking at Chelsea imploringly.

"What's happened Edward?" she asked, leaning over to place a comforting hand on Edward's knee. He was glad Chelsea was there. He dismissed the thoughts of what she had just been doing, and decided to unload. He knew enough of her to know their conversation would go no further than this room.

"How did Demetri discover he…liked men?" Edward asked abashedly. Chelsea looked at him for a very long moment.

"Isn't that something you should ask him?" Chelsea returned.

"I'm not asking you to betray any type of confidences. I'm merely curious," Edward lied smoothly. Chelsea only looked at him, cocking her head to the side and giving him a sideways smirk.

"Tell me the truth, Edward. What's happening?" she asked again. Edward saw the sincerity and openness of her thoughts, and told her everything.

Edward told her of how much Demetri infuriated him. He told her how Demetri impelled him to speak on some of his best memories without bemoaning. Edward told her about Milan, about the fleeting glances and soft touches that he hadn't even realized affected him. He told her about his obvious arousal under Demetri's tender massage, the feel of his fingers on his bare back, and the pleasure it elicited from him. He told her about the memory of hers replaying in his mind, but with him in her place. He told her how compelling Demetri was, and how attracted he was to him. Finally, he told her the decision he'd made, because of his love for Bella, he could not follow through with any of his desires. He had nothing to offer, nothing left to give. Above all, he still did not trust his feelings right now.

"I'm sorry to ask you this, but I have to know. Have you used your power at all? I mean…to make me feel more strongly about him?" Edward asked, his head bowed, looking at his lap. "Have you made my feelings for Bella less?"

"Edward, you should know enough by now to know I wouldn't do that. Besides, Bella is dead. I can't loosen a relationship that no longer exists. As for you and Demetri, he would never forgive me if I even tried," Chelsea answered.

"Why is that?"

Chelsea ignored the question and looked at Edward with thoughts full of compassion. _Edward, you're a good man, but…_ "Give yourself a break Edward. For as long as I have lived, and out of all the people I have met, no one hates themselves as much as you do. And out of all those people, no one deserves to be happy more than you. You should talk to Demetri about this."

"I just….can't. I can't, Chelsea. For so many reasons, I can't," Edward replied desperately.

"No, you just won't," Chelsea blurted. Edward stared at her, hurt evident on his face. Chelsea looked at him apologetically and took his hand.

"At least do yourself a favor, and talk to him about how he himself came to the realization of his preferences. If nothing else, you might learn a bit more about yourself," Chelsea stated insistently. "He's a good man, too, Edward. He wants to help you."

"I cannot even begin to understand why he would want anything to do with me. I'm so…"

"Stop that. You are wonderful, handsome, brilliant, creative….I could go on and on and on," Chelsea chuckled, clutching Edward's hand tightly. The corners of Edwards mouth uplifted somewhat, but he could not bring himself to fully smile at her.

"He went hunting with me. He's been hunting animals; I don't know if he still drinks from humans at all, but I just don't know why he would change his diet. I am very pleased for him, but…why?" Edward questioned. Chelsea gave him a caring look and shrugged her shoulders. He pursed his lips and nodded.

"Thank you, Chelsea."

"No problem at all, Edward."

Chelsea left shortly thereafter, and Edward found himself lying in his bed, staring up at his crimson hangings.

He was truly old-fashioned and surprised that he was able to speak as in depth as he was about his urges with Chelsea. It had relieved him significantly to actually voice his thoughts and fears out loud, although it did not make him any less befuddled.

Edward grieved for Bella; he _loved _Bella. A world where Bella didn't exist was not a world worth living in. That was the reason he was here, to fulfill a service so he could end it all, but hadn't he decided he wanted to live? How could he be having such errant thoughts about Demetri?

Perhaps it was the duress he had been under since his arrival here. Hid body's reaction to Demetri in Milan could easily be explained away by that. Everything had still been so fresh, and it was exceedingly understandable that his behavior would be abnormal. He had been perfectly content with that excuse before, and felt it was still viable.

But, what of his thoughts in the forest? Demetri hadn't even touched him, yet his contemplations went spiraling into abhorrently sinful thoughts. Edward felt that it would have to be some kind of bizarre form of Stockholm syndrome. Maybe he didn't even need to question his sexuality because he was only experiencing some odd kind of mental disorder. Edward knew, however, that Demetri was not his captor.

Edward leapt to his feet deciding that he would talk to Demetri, if for nothing else than to try to shut down these feelings he was having. He knew there was a proper explanation for it all.

He found Demetri in the expansive library, huddled in a secluded corner reading a dusty, old tome. He sat facing slightly away from Edward with his left ankle resting on his right knee, the book in his lap. Demetri's face was pinched in focus, brow furrowed and lips pursed in a thin line.

"Hello, E," Demetri greeted without looking up, the wrinkles in his forehead smoothing out and a smile forming on his lips. His was reading _The Old Man and the Sea, _his thoughts completely filled with it. Edward laughed quietly.

"What a predictable choice for you, Demetri," Edward said. Demetri looked away from the book and turned his gaze on Edward. Edward felt warm all over, noticing that Demetri's eyes now held more butterscotch than burgundy.

"Simply hoping for a bit or inspiration. You know, the whole, 'don't count me out yet', thing." Demetri closed the book. "What can I do for you, E? I know you haven't sought me out simply for the pleasure of my company," he said somewhat dejectedly.

Edward suddenly felt very guilty, not to mention the embarrassment that began coursing through him now that he actually stood in front of Demetri preparing to ask him some very personal questions. "Perhaps this should wait until another time. I can see you're busy. I'll go," Edward said, turning to leave.

"No, E, don't leave," Demetri replied, rising from his seat and grabbing Edward's arm. Edward's eyes travelled to where Demetri's hand now grasped his wrist gently. Demetri took this as discontent with the touch, and abruptly let go. Edward had not wanted him to.

"I wanted to ask you a few questions," Edward paused in his discomfort, "about how you…came to realize…you…well, youlikemen," he finished quickly. Demetri promptly replaced his downtrodden expression with an impish grin.

"Well, E, I try my best to get along with everybody. What exactly do you mean by 'like men'?" Demetri chuckled out, knowing very well what Edward was asking. Edward rolled his eyes, and began picking imaginary lent off his shirt sleeve.

"You know what I mean," Edward mumbled.

"Yes, I know what you mean. Sorry about that. You're just too endearing when you're embarrassed," Demetri said. Edward's hand nervously ran through his hair.

"Will you tell me? I recognize that it's a very personal question, and if you don't feel comfortable answering it…"

"No, no, I don't mind at all, E. Why are you asking anyway?" Demetri questioned.

"I wanted to get to know you a bit better," Edward lied.

"But, you don't want to make friends," Demetri stated.

"Er-"

"It's alright, E, you don't have to elaborate. I'll just be grateful you actually came looking for me for once." Edward was thankful that Demetri didn't press him any further.

Demetri gestured for Edward to sit. Once seated, Demetri took the chair closest to Edward.

"Of course, you know in my human life, the thought had never even crossed my mind. I had always felt companionable towards women, but never really felt that kind of burning need you would expect from the physical aspect of things. Once I was immortal—and I hate to admit this to you, E- I went through a slew of women, just looking for something that felt…._right. _Don't get me wrong, I derived much pleasure from it, but it just wasn't right. I was always left wanting more of something, and I couldn't even begin to imagine what that something was. It was very frustrating, not to mention depressing."

Edward felt envy flaring through him. As Demetri spoke, Edward got flashes of all these women he had obviously been intimate with. It made him positively ill, and he began reading the titles of the books that took up the shelves surrounding him, demanding himself to calm down, because Demetri could not know how it affected him. He did not want to think of how Demetri's hands should be on him, and it should be Edward's hips he tightly held as he… "I know about you and Chelsea," Edward blurted, turning to look at Demetri once more.

"She told you about us?" Demetri asked incredulously.

"No, I," Edward stopped and tapped on his temple.

"Hmmm, I wonder why she would be thinking about that?"

"We might have been discussing you," Edward said. Demetri looked slightly questioning, but pleased.

"Please don't think badly of me, E. I don't know how much she shared with you—or how much you read- but the situation with Chelsea was an eye opening experience for me. I didn't want to hurt people; I simply wanted some type of contentment. I felt extreme guilt over Chelsea, but thankfully, she has long since forgiven me," Demetri paused, looking at Edward seriously. "Do you wish for me to continue?" _Will he run? _Demetri thought loudly.

"Please, continue, Demetri," Edward said, needing to hear the rest. Demetri breathed out in relief.

"I first realized my attraction to the same sex when I was on a mission. I found my charge quickly, but when I encountered his scent, I became aroused. When I actually saw him, it only grew worse. He was handsome and strong, and the straight lines of his clothed body did more for me than any of the hundreds of women had. Why it was that particular man that roused my interest, I do not know. Maybe it was simply the first occurrence where I would admit to myself I felt something. Maybe it had happened before and I had swiftly explained it away. All I knew is that when it came time to eliminate him, I could not do it. Felix had to finish it for me.

"I began to question myself, demean myself, and hate myself even more. It wasn't until a very intelligent, caring friend gave me some incredibly good advice that I was able to accept it. My friend told me, quite straightforwardly—which is just the way I like things- 'Love is so difficult to come by, especially in the world we live in. Why begrudge it in any form?'. What I learned from that was uncomplicated and beautiful. I could be _complete_, once I stopped denying who I was. So, there you have it," he finished simply. Edward stared at him in silence a few moments, mulling things over.

"Was it Chelsea? Your friend that helped you?" Edward asked.

"No, actually, E, it was Carlisle," Demetri said, tilting his head contemplatively. Edward felt an unexplainable rush of relief at Demetri's statement. He tried to pinpoint why, but could not.

"You know, E, it rots you from the inside out, attempting to change what you cannot. That applies to more than just my situation," Demetri said. His scrutinizing made Edward fidget. He had one more question to ask Demetri, and his stomach quivered at the thought of asking it. Edward took a trembling breath and swallowed loudly.

"Now, what's your real reason for drinking from animals?" Edward asked, his voice only shaking minutely.

"E, I don't think you really want to know the answer to that question," Demetri replied, giving Edward a warning look.

"Try me," Edward said, interested to know Demetri's true motivations. Demetri sighed noisily.

_Since I've never been one to hold back when asked a direct question…_ Demetri thought. He looked up at the ceiling. "E…I know forgetting is impossible for our kind. _You will always love Bella. _But, I would take any part of your heart that you have left, no matter how small… Do you understand what I mean, E?" he said, eyes once again searching Edward's face. Demetri's expression was open and vulnerable as he waited for Edward to speak.

Edward was completely and utterly taken aback by Demetri's blunt confession. He had known that Demetri desired him physically, but this was another thing entirely. Even in his shock, Edward could feel heat spreading from the center of his body until it reached the tips of his fingers and the bottoms of his feet. He had to stop this, and stop it now. Edward stood up as Demetri remained seated. He could not look at Demetri, so his eyes went to and stayed firmly planted on the shelves of books.

"I-I don't think I can. After Bella, I just really shouldn't….I've never even thought of a man in _that _way," Edward blubbered out, shuffling his feet uncomfortably.

_You're lying, _Demetri thought. "You can't pretend that your body has never reacted when I am near you. You cannot hide the confusion evident on your face when you wonder why you feel this way," Demetri growled out heatedly, rising to his feet and approaching Edward.

Edward finally found it in himself to look at Demetri 's face, expecting to see it twisted in frustration. Instead, his gaze was met with a tender, empathetic expression. Demetri's eyes shone with feeling, the golden facets winning the battle against the red. He cautiously brought the hands that had so thoroughly pleased yet tormented Edward to the younger man's cheeks, one remaining stationary as the other one reverently traced the lines of his jaw, before settling on the side of his neck. Edward leaned into Demetri's touch, his eyes closing in the overpowering _rightness _of the smooth skin against his. Demetri used the new leverage to bring Edward within inches of his welcoming lips.

"I know you're confused, E. Let me help you understand," Demetri breathed, the soft whisper of his utterance tickling Edward's trembling lips. Edward parted them slightly, inviting in the exquisitely scented air as it graced his curious tongue, tasting Demetri there. His prior convictions to quell his desires for Demetri were dissolved by the warm, soothing palms on his face, and the only thought in his mind was _more._

Demetri obliged, closing the gap between the two men excruciatingly slowly, and at last, pressed his mouth against Edward's waiting lips.

**End notes: Ok, so I know you guys probably hate me right now. Go read Hide and Seek it'll make you feel better. : ) Sorry, KG, I know you're probably blessing me out.**

**Sorry this update took a bit longer than normal, but it's quite a bit longer than my other chapters so I hope it makes up for it.**

**And for your reference, in New Moon St. Marcus Day was March 19th. In all actuality St. Mark Day is celebrated in Volterra on April 25. Mine is somewhere in between the two, we'll say...April 18th**


	7. Unclaimed Clemency

**Author's note: I wanted to say a quick thanks to those sticking with me! Also, I appreciate you anonymous reviewers. I like to reply to all my reviews, but since I can't let you guys know personally how much I appreciate you, know that I do and please continue! **

**Also, if I was one to name a song as a theme for a chapter, this one would have to be 'We Suck Young Blood' by Radiohead, for Jane's creeptasticness while the guard is on mission. It's certainly an unsettling bit of music by an awesome band.**

**Please note that this chapter does contain some dark and mature themes that are not appropriate for sensitive readers.**

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When Demetri's lips touched Edward's, the shocking reality of it caused him to remain unresponsive for a few seconds. However, once Demetri's tongue swiped Edward's lower lip, sweetly requesting entrance to his mouth, the pleasant warmth that had spread throughout Edward's body ignited into a conflagration, wholly incinerating his qualms.

Edward's hands reached out to clasp Demetri's hips of their own accord, pulling them flush with his own as the kiss deepened into a whirlwind of needy lips and tongues.

Demetri's hands wandered from Edward's face down his chest, resting momentarily over his pectorals before clasping the front of his shirt. He turned Edward slightly and pressed him against the closest bookcase, bringing his body impossibly closer. Edward hummed in delight as he could feel every inch of Demetri's torso deliciously matched against his.

Edward roughly attempted to pull Demetri closer as their mouths still remained molded together. Demetri's mouth was firm and unyielding, his body strong and unbreakable. Edward thought of the scalding heat he had experienced when kissing Bella, and reveled in the temperate warmth of Demetri. He wanted to feel more of him.

The shirt that Demetri wore was tucked neatly into his trousers, and Edward hurriedly pulled it out, his hands going underneath so that he could feel a bit of Demetri's unclothed skin. Still, it was not enough, and Edward dug his fingers viciously into the flesh of Demetri's back, dragging his hands downward.

Demetri moaned loudly, grinding his hips into Edward's. Their arousals brushed against one other, and Edward's eyes clenched tightly closed and his head fell back at the exquisite satisfaction of it. Demetri took the opportunity to place hot, open-mouthed kisses hungrily down Edward's throat.

Once their lips were no longer joined, it was like Edward was jolted back to reality, and reminded of their precarious position. He had come here to _stop _this. This could not happen. He'd already let things get ridiculously far.

Edward had almost found the willingness to speak when he heard someone loudly clearing their throat. He abruptly pushed Demetri away, looking down in embarrassment.

"What's going on here?" Felix guffawed. Edward was awkwardly trying to gain control of his body and straighten his clothing.

"Nothing," Edward stated, knowing that if he could blush, his face would be bright red. Demetri looked slightly hurt, appearing as though he was ready to retort, but kept quiet.

"It sure didn't look like nothing," Felix said, walking over to Demetri and elbowing him in the ribs. Demetri shoved him off, scowling. Edward tried to shrink away, curling into himself as tightly as possible.

Edward looked at Demetri briefly, the want in his eyes and thoughts so consuming that Edward swiftly looked away again.

"Did you need something, Felix?" Demetri asked, the irritation in his voice causing it to rise.

"Evidently nothing as important as what you needed," Felix chuckled, wagging his eyebrows at Edward. Edward turned away, hoping that Felix would not notice the excitement that had manifested itself in his trousers.

"Back off," Demetri said to Felix, his impatience growing.

"Hey, now, if you weren't such an exhibitionist you would've taken your heavy petting to a more suitable location," Felix replied, smirking jovially.

Edward felt like he was burning alive. "Felix," Edward started.

"Don't worry, I'm not a gossip," Felix stated, cutting Edward off.

"Now, did you come here with a purpose, or are you simply filling the role of resident peeping tom?" Demetri asked again.

"Let's see, what was it? Oh, yes, Aro requested to see us, apparently there are some things that need handling in London," Felix finally relayed.

"Ok, Felix, go on and tell Aro we'll be there in a few moments," Demetri said. Edward had sat down in one of the chairs, hiding his face between his knees.

"Sure thing, Demetri. Is he okay?" Felix asked, pointing towards Edward.

"That remains to be seen," Demetri replied, pushing Felix away as the large vampire was not leaving fast enough.

Once Felix had left the library, and Demetri and Edward were alone, Demetri approached Edward slowly, kneeling down so that he was on the same level as him. He placed a concerned palm on Edward's shoulder, but Edward shrugged it off, keeping his face firmly between his knees.

"E?" Demetri said, his voice full of worry.

"I don't wish to speak of it," Edward said before he could be prodded by Demetri's interrogations.

"E, I feel like we should honestly talk about what j—"

"No, Demetri," Edward looked at him. His face was so understanding and caring; Edward loathed the thought of speaking. Demetri had laid himself bare in front of Edward, confessing something that Edward was sure had been difficult. Somewhere over the last few weeks, this man had become dear to him, and any torment Demetri suffered should not be at Edward's hand. This, however, could not be helped. "That—what just happened- was a mistake. I-I came here simply wanting to speak to you as a friend. I love Bella. You said you would have any part of my heart that was left, but the truth of it is, there is nothing left. My heart was irreparably shattered into uncountable, miniscule pieces, and the parts strewn about. I've _nothing_ left. Obviously, I cannot tell you that you have no affect on me physically. That, I am certainly confused over, but I simply c—"

"You are a liar. You're afraid. I can tell you're not simply about the physical; your desire comes from somewhere else. _Please_, E, just consider a few things. Living—and living well- is so simple, but you can't get over yourself far enough to see it! You hold onto these things that are unchangeable as though your life depended on them…and they do, E, just not the way you see it. If you continue this way you _will _die, but it won't be the nice, balmy blackness you crave, E. Your body will still be here, but your mind will be in that place where there are nothing but regrets, and believe me, in that place you can hate yourself as much as you want!" Demetri shouted. Edward glanced up briefly and saw that Demetri had risen to his feet and was pacing back and forth like a caged animal.

Demetri noticed Edward staring. Edward tried to cover his face once more, but Demetri was in front of him in two long strides, pulling Edward by his shoulders and up to his feet. Edward felt ashamed and weak; he could not look in Demetri's eyes.

"Look at me," Demetri said, his tone the exact opposite of what it had been moments before. Edward simply looked over Demetri's left shoulder. "E, I am begging you...please look at me." Demetri gently shook Edward where his hands grasped his shoulders. Edward's eyes widened and he was finally able to meet Demetri's desperate stare. Edward, once again, was softened by Demetri's nearly topaz eyes, and started feeling guilty for a whole new set of reasons. He started to look away, but Demetri shook him again. Demetri removed his hands from Edward's shoulders and onto either side of his face, holding it firmly in place.

"E, I have come to care for you deeply," Demetri whispered. "I cannot _bear_ to continue watching you do this. Leave it."

"I c—"

"Don't say you can't. Because you can. I _know_you can. I won't continue to watch as you let yourself spiral downward. You've let it go on long enough. Those that care for you no longer wish to see you suffering, that includes your Bella," Demetri said, as he hands travelled through Edward's mess of bronze hair, attempted to smooth it down for him. The gesture was very affectionate, and Edward wanted to lean into Demetri's hands once more. "If there was a way I could return her to you I would, E. I would let you go to her with joy in my heart, if she was what made you happy. But…there is no way to bring back the dead. You know that as well as I."

_Would I want Bella if she were still alive? _Edward thought. He swiftly decided that, of course, he would…but did he not desire Demetri? Demetri was quite correct when he stated that Edward was definitely not one to be swayed by the physical, but he had been relying on that as an excuse for his body's reaction to Demetri. Edward was drawn to more than Demetri's physicality, but would he be able to accept that?

As for everything else Demetri said, Edward knew it to be true, but his thoughts were so overloaded that he could scarcely begin contemplating it all. Demetri continued his soft touches through Edward's hair and on his face, looking at Edward expectantly.

"Right now, I don't have anything to say," Edward stated lamely.

"I understand, E, but please think over these things. I won't press you right now. We have a job to do regardless." Demetri's fingers paused on Edward's face. "I would very much like to kiss you again, but I'll refrain." He chuckled lightly, swiping his thumb over Edward's lower lip. Edward wanted to run his tongue across Demetri's digit and taste him once more, but somehow withheld and finally broke eye contact.

Demetri nodded and began tucking his shirt back in. He gestured towards the way out of the library saying, "After you."

The two men walked in an awkward silence to the circular throne room where they would find Aro. Edward's confusion was replaced with trepidation the closer they got to approaching their destination. He knew that 'some things that need handling in London' would not translate into something as simple as his first and only mission.

Aro greeted them brightly upon their entrance to the room. "Demetri! Edward! So lovely of you to join us. I am simply joyous to see the two of you making friends!" Aro stated, looking pointedly at Edward. Edward scowled at Felix who merely shrugged his shoulders, smirking.

_I couldn't help it…he reads minds, _Felix thought.

"Well, now that we're all here," Aro paused gesturing to the members of the guard stationed around the room, "I'll begin going over what needs to be done. I require Felix, Jane, Chelsea, Edward, and Demetri to travel to London, England."

"Your mission, should you choose to accept it…" Felix whispered and started humming the _Mission Impossible _theme song. Aro flashed him a warning look. "What? Edward's American! He gets that!"

"As I was saying...It appears as though we have a problem with either a newborn, or an extremely unstable vampire…perhaps both. There have been several murders reported, each body drained of blood and the fingers removed. Some of the bodies have had certain shapes carved into the skin with a sharp object. It's all rather messy," Aro said, the corners of his mouth turned down as though he would be disgusted by such things. Edward felt a bit sick. This was what he had been dreading over the past several weeks.

"We have the jet prepared and ready, you five will need to leave immediately. This needs to be taken care of as soon as possible. Ready your things for the airport. You have fifteen minutes to leave. Have fun and be careful everyone!" Aro finished, dismissing them with a wave. Edward let out a large breath and started to exit the room.

"Edward," Aro called. "May I speak with you for a moment?" Edward wanted to groan. He looked at Demetri briefly as he was leaving, Demetri looking at him apologetically.

"Yes, of course, Aro," he replied flatly. Aro rushed over to where Edward stood.

"I am going to need your full attention on this mission, dear boy. No holding back. I want to make sure you're aware, any information you withhold, I will know about," Aro stated gesturing to his head. The implication was clear to Edward. "I know this is going to be difficult, young man, but we must do our job! We mustn't leave any loose ends lying about, and your ability is essential to that."

"I understand," Edward replied, taking a few steps back from the ancient vampire.

"Good, good, Edward. I am delighted to have your full attention on this," he said, smiling warmly. "By the way, please don't allow personal matters to get in the way of your work here; it's simply a good rule." Aro raised his eyebrows and nodded, agreeing with himself. Edward gave Aro a tight-lipped smile, and returned the nod.

"Good day, Aro," Edward said, and exited the room. He found Chelsea waiting for him outside.

"Hello, Edward," she said meekly. Edward tried to smile at her. "It will all be okay. I promise." The expression on her face was honest. She slipped her arm around Edward's waist.

"I certainly hope so, Chelsea."

"Walk me to my room?"

"Sure, but don't take forever. I need to gather a few things myself," Edward replied.

"I would never," she said in mock indignation. Edward chuckled softly as the pair began walking.

"Edward?"

"Yes?" Edward asked, looking at Chelsea, his fondness for her etched on his features.

"Whenever you need to talk…" she left off.

"I know. Thank you," Edward finished.

They reached Chelsea's room where she quickly packed a few belongings, and then they headed to Edward's quarters. Demetri was leaving his room as Edward and Chelsea approached.

"Do you mind if I walk with you two to the cars?" Demetri asked, looking at Edward. Edward looked at Chelsea and then back to Demetri.

"I don't mind," Chelsea said, and Edward nodded in agreement.

He left Chelsea and Demetri in the hallway, hurriedly packed a few things, and made his way back out. Edward knew they would talk about him, and was proven correct as he picked up on Chelsea's thoughts easily. She had not yet learned how to keep him blocked. Edward was thankful he was exceptionally quick, and the pair didn't have much of a chance to speak.

Chelsea took Edward's arm, and Demetri stood on his other side. The three began strolling to the parking garage, and every few strides, Demetri's hand brushed against the back of Edward's. Edward had the suspicion this was intentional, but did not stop him. Every time Demetri's skin made contact with Edward's tiny bursts of affection coursed through him, and he found it comforting.

Edward had much to think about.

The trio found Felix and Jane already waiting for them in the parking garage. Demetri quickly announced that he would be driving, and Felix immediately called shotgun. They would be taking one of the larger SUVs to the airport in order to accommodate all five vampires and their bags.

Edward slid into the middle bench, and Chelsea sat beside him. Jane took her position alone in the back. Once they were all settled, Demetri started the car beginning their journey to the airport. A few moments of silence passed, until Felix started searching through the radio stations. Jane took the broken silence as an opportunity to speak to Edward.

"I am simply elated that we have the chance to work together, Edward. I've been looking forward to it for weeks," she said sardonically, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the back of the bench that Edward and Chelsea sat on. Her attempt at conversation was dripping hostility, and Edward was unsure of how to respond. He saw in the rearview mirror that Demetri was staring at him.

_Be careful what you say. Jane is…not quite right, _Demetri thought, maintaining eye contact with Edward. The silent exchange did not get past Jane.

"What are you telling him, Demetri?" she asked snappishly. Chelsea shifted in discomfort, and Felix rolled his eyes.

"Letting him know how wonderful you are, and how he should speak freely with you, angel!" Demetri replied buoyantly, turning his face to the left so that Jane could see his bright smile.

"Could you not have simply said that aloud?" she said, crossing his arms petulantly.

"I didn't want to embarrass you, dear heart. I know how unwilling you are to accept flattery," Demetri said. He returned his full attention to the road after one last fleeting glance at Edward.

"I do not mind a smidge of flattery every now and again," Jane muttered to herself, leaning back onto her seat.

Edward picked up with ease that Jane had a soft spot for Demetri, and he was disturbed by that, to say the least. Edward cringed at Jane's inner musings and tried unsuccessfully to block her out. Demetri was being polite when he thought she was 'not quite right'.

The rest of the drive to the airport was spent in relative quiet, the only noise coming from the radio, which Felix had left on a station that was playing popular American hits from the nineteen seventies. Edward didn't think he could stand another moment of the Rolling Stones, Genesis, or KC and the Sunshine Band; he was about to complain about said music when they finally arrived.

Edward's relief was short-lived, however, because when the five vampires boarded the jet, Felix plopped down right next to him, and the music that had irritated him on the radio was now echoed—and off-key- in Felix's thoughts. Edward laughed quietly and turned towards Felix.

"Would you mind changing the station?" Edward asked.

"Sure. Would you prefer…something like…this?" Felix began reliving Edward's embarrassment. Through Felix's thoughts he could clearly see himself, clawing at Demetri's back like a cat on a scratching post and devouring his mouth. Edward had not realized how much Felix had witnessed.

"Why wouldn't you have interrupted sooner?" Edward whispered, angry in his discomfort.

"Demetri is a good buddy. He's usually a very private person. I knew that it would have to be some kind of big deal for him to let you attack him out in the open like that," Felix said, leaning in so that he could speak to Edward in a low voice. It had looked like Edward was attacking Demetri. Any outsider would have assumed he had been the instigator. Edward hands twitched nervously on his knees.

Felix leaned in a bit closer to Edward and motioned with his finger for Edward to move in closer still. Edward obliged and Felix thought, _If you _fuck_ with Demetri's mind, I swear you will regret it. He's the _only_ family I can remember, and you will keep his feelings in mind_. Felix backed away from Edward before speaking, "That being said…" _Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight! Whoo, baby! _Felix commenced singing in his mind once more.

Edward thoroughly believed Demetri when he'd said Felix was temperamental.

The flight to London took a little more than an hour. Edward kept his eyes glued to his armrest the entire time. He couldn't hush the voices in his mind: Felix singing, Jane thinking of the impending slaughter, Chelsea concerned for him, Demetri contemplating Aristotle on Rhetoric. Edward couldn't help smiling over the last; Demetri's quirks that had annoyed him so in the past were only now serving to endear him to the younger vampire.

They arrived at their destination in the middle of the night, and checked into their hotel without event. As a group they decided to get to work straight away, and resolve the problem as soon as possible. They congregated in Jane's room to discuss their strategy.

"The first thing to do would be to visit the most recent crime scene," Demetri started. "I should be able to figure out from there how many people are involved and find their locations. The most recent murder was committed early today, so we may be able to pick up on some scents, as well." Chelsea and Edward nodded in somber agreement; Felix smirked in anticipation, while Jane appeared gleeful in a way that made her sadism apparent.

"Since you're new at this, E, the main thing you need to keep in mind is anonymity," Demetri said looking at Edward. _Please, be safe, and do everything you can to finish this. This will not be easy for you…try not to make Jane upset. She can be volatile, _he thought. "We don't have any particular method. Simply remain hidden, finish things quietly."

"This will be easy," Jane commented. The unease that had been festering in Edward's gut began to rot, and he feared what would come before the night was through.

"I hope you're right," Edward replied.

The five vampires made their way silently to the scene of the most recent murder. It was a narrow alleyway outside of a pub on the outskirts of London. There was still brightly colored police tape blocking the scene, and it seemed oddly garish in the glowering darkness.

Edward watched Demetri as he traced his fingertips across the rough brick walls of the alleyway. He closed his eyes inhaling deeply, holding impossibly still for several moments. Everything was eerily silent, the normal sounds of the evening drowned out by the brutality that had taken place less than twenty-four hours prior.

"There were two of them here," Demetri started. "One of them was not responsible for the messy kill. Does that make sense?" Demetri opened his eyes, looking around at the group. Felix shrugged.

"Maybe trying to hide it? Clean it up?" Chelsea suggested.

"That seems plausible," Jane commented. "Can you find them?"

"Yes, of course. Hmmmm, the closest one is about twenty kilometers from here. Not too horribly far. Should we go ahead?" Demetri asked of Jane.

"I see no reason not to. Does everyone approve?" she asked. Everyone knew it was rhetorical. If Jane wanted to go, then they would all go.

After the facts Demetri uncovered, things began to move rather quickly.

Within half an hour, Demetri had tracked one of the vampires to an isolated flat on the outskirts of London. Edward found it odd, as did the rest of the guard, that the vampire would have a permanent home. Most of their kind were nomadic, and wandered about feeding from different areas as to not draw attention to themselves.

Once they were within a few miles of their destination, Edward began scouring the minds in the area.

Edward was uneasy, undoubtedly worried about the oncoming altercation, and –if he would admit it to himself- concerned for Demetri. He knew that Demetri had been doing this for centuries, but he could not help but feel some anxiety for his well-being.

…_..have to find some way to get her under control… _Edward heard the frantic thoughts clearly. _We have to leave this place….drawing too much attention. How could this have happened?_

"I hear someone," Edward whispered. They were still about a mile from their destination. "They are thinking about trying to leave the city and trying to get someone under control."

"We'll have to approach the flat, block the exit, and subdue the vampire. We're also going to have to try to get some answers about what has been going on. Edward," Demetri gave him a pleading look, "we definitely need you working hard on this. Edward, Jane, and Felix go inside. Chelsea and I will guard the door." They all nodded and continued forward.

The closer they approached the more perplexed Edward became. He was picking up on more thoughts coming from the same flat, and could smell a vampire and humans.

_I smell humans, _Demetri and Jane thought at almost the exact same moment. The tone of their inner thoughts was much different, however.

Edward was unsure he could do what was required of him. If he wasn't absolutely certain it was impossible, he would've felt as though he were on the verge of losing consciousness. He knew he had to do this for his family, but Edward was terrified that the monster he had kept restrained for so long would spring free once it saw brutality.

Jane had stopped within a few hundred feet of the flat. "Edward, do the humans know about us? About vampires?" she asked. The others had stopped as well, waiting to see what had changed now that there were humans involved. Edward crossed his arms over his chest and looked away from Jane.

"No," Edward lied.

"Are you sure, Edward?" Jane prodded, narrowing her eyes. "Aro would be upset if he found out you kept any pertinent information to yourself."

Demetri took a step towards Edward and thought, _Please, E, you've no idea what she's capable of._

Edward shuffled his feet a few more moments. _It's my family or those people in there, _he thought before admitting, "I'm not sure the exact situation, but it does seem as though they are aware that the one with them is a vampire. We would have to ask some questions of them to find the entire situation."

"Ah, I _love _interrogations!" Jane admitted excitedly. Edward started trying to think of anything other than what was about to happen.

At his very core, he thought he was a selfish bastard, and he wanted his family safe, and at some point, he had decided he wanted to live.

The vampires continued forward silently towards their destination. _This will be over soon, Edward, _Chelsea thought, grasping Edward's hand and squeezing it briefly. It did not serve as any comfort.

They finally entered the home, and each step Edward took brought him misery. The flat was welcoming and bright. The furniture was well-worn by frequent visitors, and children's toys littered the carpet. Each way Edward looked he encountered countless snapshots and family portraits. Every picture featured a subject with a shining smile, the family content in each other. Most of the depictions featured a little boy, no more than eight years old in the most recent photographs, revealing an expression of absolute trust, love, and adoration for the picture taker.

Edward was once part of a family of three, feeling the same adulation that this little boy had, in a life that seemed so foreign now he could scarcely recognize it as his own.

As planned, Demetri and Chelsea stayed by the door, while Felix, Jane, and Edward entered the main room. The foyer was visible from the living room, so Chelsea and Demetri were left with a clear view of what was going on.

Jane wasted no time in torturing the vampire into submission, and the humans needed no persuading, as Felix simply stood by them serving as intimidation. The little boy had been sleeping soundly, his dreams filled with colorful visions of sunshine and immaculately white clouds, but the excruciating pain that the vampire experienced at Jane's hand caused him to scream, waking the child. He immediately ran to his parents who tried to comfort him as best as they possibly could. Edward was nearly forced to his knees by the pitiful cries of the child, and the pure fear that consumed his young thoughts.

"Are you responsible for the murders in London?" Jane asked, bringing the vampire's face within inches of her own.

"Yes, yes it was all me," he readily agreed. Edward knew he was lying.

"Edward, is he telling me the truth?" she asked perceptively. He hesitated and wanted to lie, but knew he could not.

"No," came the whispered reply. Edward cringed and turned his head. The screams started anew, and Jane repeated the question, this time with better results. His thoughts went to a young female vampire with glowing red eyes and flowing black hair. The story that followed in the vampire's thoughts made Edward's dead heard sink to his feet.

"It's a newborn. He created her. He fell in love with her when she was human. The change addled her mind somehow, and now she's completely insane and out of control. These humans are her family. Her sister, brother-in-law, and nephew. None of them know where she is right now."

Is that how it would have ended with Bella? Insanity and countless mutilated bodies?

"That does not matter," Jane said portentously. "Demetri knows."

Edward knew what would follow after Jane had the information she needed.

The happy family from the photographs sat before him trembling in fear, and Edward balked at the knowledge that it was he who allowed this to happen. It was he that provided the information Jane needed, because Edward felt he was more self-interested than compassionate.

"Jane, the child is too young to be aware…."

"Be quiet, Edward. You know we can't afford to make exceptions." She looked at Edward conspiratorially and whispered, "Besides, you've never tasted anything as wonderful as a child. The younger the better." Jane quirked an eyebrow, a cherubic smile contradicting the lunacy of her eyes. Edward heard the resigned thoughts from the other three vampires in the room and realized just how twisted Jane actually was. The way she behaved was actually commonplace, and no one was shocked at Jane's actions.

_E, maybe you should go outside. You've done your job, we'll finish in here, _Demetri thought.

Edward had never felt more disgusted in his existence. The vicious notions that ran through Jane's mind of just how leisurely and horrendously she wanted to kill those humans caused Edward's perspective to shift, and he knew the least he could do would be to make sure they did not suffer. He knew that none of these vampires could match his speed, and steeling himself for the guilt that was sure to follow, he swiftly approached the three humans, cracking each of their necks with an audible snap. Not that it mattered due to the speed at which he acted, but he took the little boy first, abruptly ending his fear. His last thoughts echoed in Edward's head like a macabre record stuck on repeat, _Please don't let them hurt my mum._

Before Edward had even a moment to recover he heard Demetri shout, "NO!" as Jane turned her tremendous power on him in vicious anger. Edward fell to the floor with a ground trembling thud, and began writhing in life-altering pain. The fire coursed through Edward's dried up veins, igniting them into a hellish blaze, causing each second to tick by as eons. All he could hear, see, think, or remember was pain. His life was forfeit; he had never lived and would never die, because he _was _pain in its purest, most simplistic form.

As abruptly as it started the agony ended. Demetri was struggling against Felix who was restraining him. Chelsea had taken over restraining the male vampire, and had her eyes clenched tightly and her head turned away from Edward.

"Let me go, Felix," Demetri pleaded. "I won't touch her…I need to go to him." Felix nodded and released him, worried that his friend would attempt to attack Jane. Demetri promptly rushed to Edward, helping him into a sitting position.

"E? Can you hear me?" Demetri questioned, trying to get Edward to make eye contact with him.

"Why does it matter to you, Demetri?" Jane spat out.

"Because it's important to me that he is well," he snapped back. "As though I have to tell you anything."

Edward fell back onto the floor, once more thrust into torture. Edward screamed and clawed at his body, trying to find some kind of release. His flesh felt as though it was being flayed from his bones. This time Felix intervened within a matter of seconds, picking Jane up and shaking her thoroughly. The fire ceased for Edward again, and he hoped that was the last of it.

Edward got to his feet with Demetri's help, although he did not need it entirely. His body was already mostly recovered, although the memory of the pain was still starkly fresh.

"Jane," Felix started. "You can't simply go around fucking people up when you get mad. We are telling Aro about this." Chelsea nodded firmly in agreement, still maintaining her hold on the rogue vampire.

"No," Edward said. Four sets of eyes turned to look at him incredulously. "I deserved it. It's… fine. "

"You did deserve it! You ruined my meal and my fun," Jane exclaimed, her lower lip in a pout.

"We're not here for your fun or for you to feed! We have a job to do, and Edward took care of more than his fair share," Demetri countered, his voice shaking in anger. _I can't tell you how sorry I am, E. I did not want you to have to do that. I can see already you're letting this get the best of you…don't let it, _please_…don't let it._

Edward looked at Demetri and answered his thoughts. "It's fine. I deserved it," Edward repeated. Demetri looked defeated, realizing Edward had already begun his self-deprecation. Their eyes met briefly before Demetri shook his head and began speaking.

"We have a job to finish. The female is in Epping Forest. That isn't far from here. Let's bring the male with us in case we need him to find the female, and we'll burn the house with the bodies inside," Demetri ordered tersely.

Upon hearing the word 'bodies' Edward was pushed back into the reality of what he had done. Demetri had asked him not to let it get the best of him, but he had just _murdered _innocent people. Never, even when he left Carlisle to gorge himself on human blood, had he taken the life of someone who was completely blameless. He had just murdered a child; a little boy who still had beautiful dreams, and who saw the world as a place of endless possibilities. He not only took his life, but took away the possibilities that that child's life represented, snuffing out everything that child could have become. But if he hadn't done it then Jane would have shown him a new realm of fear that he couldn't have comprehended previously.

"Come on, Edward," Chelsea said gently while entwining her fingers with his. She guided him out of the flat, as Felix, Demetri, and Jane started the blaze covering what Edward had done.

They found the female vampire they were seeking in an old hunting lodge, deep in the forest. Demetri located her easily, and Edward heard her thoughts well before they approached her.

"Do you want to know why she cuts off their fingers?" Edward asked Demetri, breaking the silence that had covered them oppressively.

Jane and Felix were several yards behind them, guiding the male vampire, and Chelsea still clutched Edward's hand.

Demetri looked towards Edward and asked, "Why?"

"She sees their humanity in their hands. She can no longer control her strength, and crushes everything she attempts to hold. It makes her feel isolated.

"He also used to tell her how much he loved her warm fingers on his skin. She is sure he misses that, and looks to find something to please him, but she grows frustrated when the fingers become cold so swiftly. So she continues to kill and gather more," Edward finished flatly, his face scrunched and hands in his pockets.

Edward's emotions felt out of control, so much so that he was shutting down to try to protect himself. How could something like love so thoroughly destroy an entire family? Edward was, once again, thankful that Bella had never been made immortal.

"E, I—"

"It's fine," Edward said, repeating his new phrase. He felt strangely numb and disconnected.

They found the female a few moments later. It took Felix, Edward, and Demetri to restrain her. Her thoughts were wild and feral, her intentions absolutely demented. She was only calmed when her lover was allowed to put his hands on her. Chelsea attempted to use her power to grant them a reprieve from their last moments of sorrow by loosening their bond, but the male understood what she was doing and rebuked her for it.

The female came back to herself in her last moments, her final thoughts an apology, before the high-pitched keening of her body being ripped apart silenced them. Her mate soon followed.

Together, they all built a large, hot fire and threw the remains of the two lovers on the pyre. It only took a few moments before the characteristic purple smoke began curling in the night sky, and the heady, sweet smell of immortal flesh burning permeated the air.

Edward stood by listlessly as the appendages turned to dust. He turned to his left as the wisps of smoke danced aimlessly in the air by his face, mocking him with their frivolity.

Demetri was crouched by the fire, his skin clinquant in the fire's glow. The tendrils of smoke encircled his head like a demonic halo, and Edward thought of him again as an unholy seraphim. The flames flickered causing the shadows on his face to change erratically, bringing a new plane of Demetri's face to Edward's attention with each shift.

Edward backed away into the shadows where he belonged, away from the desire he did not deserve to see manifested.

With the job done, there was no reason left to linger in London. The five vampires gathered their things from the hotel and left before daybreak. Jane complained that she wasn't given time to properly clean up before their departure, but Edward would not hear it. He wanted to leave this behind him.

Demetri, Chelsea, and even Felix had made attempts to get Edward to speak, but it was pointless. Edward was withdrawn and taking up residence solely in his own mind for the time being, while the rest of the world was hidden by fog.

Edward passed the time on the short flight by closely inspecting his fingernails, which were caked with dirt, blood, and venom. When he assisted in tearing the newborn to pieces, the recent kill she had made caused him to be spattered with gore. The neatly pressed shirt he wore was spotted with the venom and blood mixture, and his forearms were sticky with it. He pulled the coat he wore closer around him to make sure he was covered, and promptly returned to the task of scrutinizing his fingers.

They arrived back to Volterra quickly, and made their way to the throne room to report to Aro. At Edward's request no one brought up Jane's behavior, although Aro clearly saw what happened when he had them report. He simply thanked them all for their hard work and dismissed them. Before leaving, Aro affectionately patted Edward on the back, giving him a tight-lipped smile. Edward only stared at him before turning his back and exiting. He neither spoke nor looked at anyone as he left the room.

Edward went straight to his room, discarded his bags, shredded off his ruined clothing and went to take a shower. He had to get the muck removed from his arms and fingernails.

The bathroom was immaculately kept, with fluffy crimson towels and bathrobes in the same shade. Edward laughed humorlessly before turning on the water to the highest temperature. He waited until it heated up and the room filled with steam before stepping in.

Edward could barely feel the water; his thoughts were concentrated on scrubbing his fingernails. The shower was fully stocked with everything he might require, and he quickly found a small brush with which he could clean his hands. He began scouring the hardened nails with ferocity as though trying to purge himself of the self-loathing he was experiencing. If only he could get his hands clean, then he would be free of what he'd done. He could forget it.

Edward cleansed and rubbed and polished and buffed his fingernails, but the stains would not come clean. He added more force and the brush crumbled in his hand. He grabbed another one and began scrubbing again in desperation, and, once again, the tiny plastic tool could not withstand Edward's panicked grip.

The pieces were angrily thrown into the wall, imbedding themselves into the tile with the force at with they were flung.

Edward screamed in pathetic desolation as the bleakness of his current position finally overtook him. He pounded his fists into the wall repeatedly, causing the tile to crack. He followed-up by splaying his fingers widely on the cool wall, staring at the grime that directly reflected his soul: dirty, black, mucked up, and filthy. He laid his forehead against the wall in between his soiled hands, the coldness a vast contrast from the heated water that cascaded over his body.

He barely registered the sound of the door opening, and couldn't bring himself to care.

"E?" Demetri called out quietly. "I'm not trying to look, but I know you're upset, and I couldn't help but hear you."

Edward heard some rustling behind him, and Demetri slid back the shower door. Edward looked over his shoulder and saw Demetri pointedly looking away from Edward's naked form, holding up one of the bathrobes. Edward chuckled maniacally and put his forehead back on the wall, continuing to laugh softly. Demetri sighed and reached in the shower, turning off the spray.

Demetri stepped into the stall and placed the robe over Edward's shoulders and began wrapping it around him. It was a bit awkward and difficult to do, as Edward's hands were still splayed on the wall. Edward unexpectedly brought his arms down, capturing Demetri's and holding them around his torso. Edward clutched Demetri tightly, silently imploring him to keep him tethered to the small shards of reason he had left. His body started to tremble and quake with tearless sobs and Demetri only held him tighter. Edward's legs would no longer support him, but it was okay because Demetri would not let him fall.

The two men slid to the wet floor of the shower, Edward's back against Demetri's chest. Edward continued to desperately wail; now that he'd started he was not sure how he had kept from it for so many weeks. Each thought he could not keep at bay pounded into him unremittingly, and his body could no longer contain them. He thought of Bella, his lost family, and his current position as a murderer of the innocent and he screamed, thinking that maybe the forcefulness of his voice could chase the torturous musings away.

Demetri tried his best to soothe Edward by crooning to him softly and smoothing his soaked, matted hair from his face. Edward suddenly became aware that the only thing shielding his naked body from Demetri's gaze was the plush crimson robe that had become soaked from the shower floor.

"E, shhhh, it will be alright. You are good. Everything about you is good. You could not commit an evil act if you tried," Demetri whispered into the crook of Edward's neck.

Edward momentarily stopped his sobbing to say, "But my hands are so dirty." He held up each of his digits and displayed them for Demetri, his fingers twitching frantically. Demetri brought Edward's pointer finger to his mouth and kissed it sweetly and gently. Edward held his breath.

"Some stains take longer to get rid of, E," came Demetri's breathy reply. Demetri's warm lips felt like flower petals on his finger, soft and smooth. Demetri embraced Edward impossibly tighter.

"Edward," Demetri started. Edward was stunned to hear his full name fall from Demetri's lips. Demetri speaking his name felt like a warm hug, and the delicate pronunciation was intimate in a way that was different from the appellation spoken by anyone else. It made Edward feel safe and cared for. "I know that the pieces of your heart are scattered. You feel that you will never find them all again, but, trust me, I am_ very_ good at finding things. I already know the shape they are to go back in," Demetri stated, clutching Edward's left pectoral tightly. "I can _feel _how good your heart is Edward, even in its absence."

Edward let his breath out in a rush, and sobbed once more quietly. "How can you stand to be near me? I can barely tolerate myself."

"Edward, I have not been moved by another in well over five hundred years. How could I not want to be near you?" Demetri replied delicately, the movement of his words vibrating Edward's throat, as Demetri's lips still rested in the crook of Edward's neck.

Demetri inhaled deeply and said, "Would it be too forward and deplorable of me to tell you how exquisite you smell, E?" He ran his nose across the expanse of Edward's neck, tickling the tender flesh that existed there. Edward tilted his head to the side, and Demetri took it as an invitation, covering Edward's exposed flesh with small kisses.

Edward felt the pleasant tightening in his stomach again and a rush to his groin. He tried to shift so that he could hide his embarrassment from Demetri, but in his nearly unclothed state it was impossible. What was it about Demetri that caused him to so thoroughly come undone? Whether it be his kind words, brutal truths, or angular beauty, Edward could not keep his arousal contained when Demetri touched him.

Demetri noticed Edward's awkward state, and whispered kindly in his ear, "Don't you ever take care of yourself, E?'

Edward could barely speak as his mortification multiplied tenfold. "I've never really…done…anything to…you know…" Edward spluttered out.

"E," Demetri stated in a shocked tone. "You would feel much better if you did. You need a…release, for lack of a better word."

Edward took in a ragged breath. Demetri was cradling him gently, his smell was intoxicating, and his warm breath gently caressed the wanting skin of his throat. The venom that flowed to his groin made him painfully hard, and he was practically throbbing and pulsating with need.

"I could show you how….if you want?"

"I don't know, I-I really…" Edward couldn't imagine doing _that _with someone to witness it. He was, in most instances, overly proper, and the act of masturbation was something he could never have imagined doing—even in private.

"I'll only show you, E. I promise not to take advantage. I want you to feel good…to feel better," Demetri said, his hand moving from Edward's chest up to his cheek, turning his face so that he could look at him.

Demetri lightly brushed his closed mouth against Edward's lips, and the sensations caused Edward to moan quietly. He could not rebuff Demetri's advances any longer, and no part of him wanted to.

Edward shakily breathed out, "Okay."

Demetri removed the robe that was barely covering Edward, and the fabric fell into his lap leaving Edward completely exposed, his now bare back against Demetri's clothed chest.

The older vampire slowly and tenderly placed his palm over the back of Edward's right hand, entwining their fingers, as he guided it to Edward's rigid member. Together, their hands wrapped themselves around the most intimate part of Edward's body, and squeezed lightly. Edward could not stop the wanton moan that passed his open mouth. The heated flesh of his arousal had never been touched in any manner other than cleansing, and Edward could not explain how he had survived without it.

"Grasp tightly here," Demetri explained, his words tickling Edward's mouth where they were still joined, "and move your hand up and down. I've always enjoyed a slower pace to begin with." As he spoke, Demetri led Edward's learning hand. Edward closed his eyes and panted heavily as the first strokes sent him reeling.

"Sometimes, I like to run my thumb over the top," Demetri pushed Edward's thumb over the head of his erection, stopping underneath, lambently teasing his sensitive frenulum. "It feels wonderful to alternate between strokes and swipes."

Demetri began leading Edward through a steady rhythm. _Stroke, stroke, swipe…stroke, stroke, swipe._

Edward felt he was running up a staircase that couldn't possibly go high enough. Each stroke and every swipe brought him higher and higher and he felt hot and cold, free and contained, here and there all at the same time. His body was going through a maddening paroxysm; Edward simply hurt with the gratification of it.

At the center of it all was Demetri. Demetri, with his carefully built wall surrounding his thoughts. Beautiful, caring, patient Demetri, whose hand had left Edward's, and was tracing mindless patterns into the bare flesh of his torso.

Edward's hand had sped up without his knowledge, and Demetri was kissing him unapologetically, his mouth consuming Edward's with a ferocity he had not known possible.

Demetri separated his mouth from Edward's to look over his body appreciatively and panted, "I can't begin to imagine anything as beautiful as you right now, Edward, and I've seen thousands upon thousands of sunrises over countless seas."

"Nnnnn, I think I'm about to… Could you unbutton your shirt, please? I…mmmm…" Edward could not finish his sentence, but Demetri knew what Edward needed. Demetri skillfully unbuttoned his top, and Edward's back was able to press against the bareness of Demetri's fully exposed upper body. Edward felt every muscle of Demetri's torso, as well as the rapid rise of fall of his chest. Edward writhed against Demetri, and moaned into his mouth. Both men were breathing quickly, both sets of lips parted, drinking in the flavor of each other.

The way that Demetri fit into the curve of Edward's back sent him over the edge, and Edward came with a surprised groan. Edward leaned forward as each breath hissed out through his clenched teeth. He threw his head back as his body shuddered, absolute pleasure radiating throughout his sensitive body, before slamming back into him with devastating force. The orgasm was almost painful in its intensity, curling tightly in his abdomen before springing outwards, and Edward felt overwhelmed with relief.

Neither man spoke nor moved for several moments as Edward recovered. Once Edward regained feeling in his appendages, he became very aware of Demetri's stimulation pressed firmly into his backside. Edward felt extremely selfish and guilty, knowing that Demetri's arousal must've been painful after witnessing what Edward had just done.

"I-I'm sorry, you must be…do you need…?" Edward stuttered out. After what he had just allowed Demetri to be privy to, he still could not speak of certain things.

"Don't worry about me, E. Do you feel ok?" Demetri questioned, flashing Edward a wide smile. Edward smirked shyly, running his hands through his messy hair.

"I do feel much more collected," Edward answered, laughing abashedly.

"I suppose you would like to get cleaned up now, and no more breaking things," Demetri chided jokingly, while sliding out from behind Edward.

"Don't leave," Edward interjected quickly. "I mean, could you wait for me in my room? I…I don't think I want to be alone anymore." Edward knew it sounded cliché, but the truth of the statement was made very apparent to him upon voicing it. Demetri gave Edward a lazy smile.

"Of course I'll stay, Edward. Nothing would make me happier."

Edward turned the water back on in the shower, and rinsed off quickly. He went into his quarters and found Demetri in one of the crimson robes lying in his bed, his drenched clothing discarded on the floor. Edward crawled in with him, sprawling himself over the comforter. He laid his head on Demetri's chest, as Demetri brought his steadfast arms around to hold Edward close.

_See, I told you beds were good for sharing, _Demetri thought, chuckling warmly.

Edward angled his face towards Demetri who ran his hand through Edward's hair before kissing him deeply and meaningfully, and this time Edward had no intentions of stopping it. The meeting of their mouths held many hopes for Edward, and it was there, in Demetri's enduring embrace, that Edward began to find his absolution.

* * *

**End notes: So? Questions? Comments?**

**Let me know! I would love to hear your thoughts.**

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	8. Absence of Fear

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the original plot of any of the books from the Twilight Saga. **

**Author's note: Ok, so this is basically fluff, a bit of angst, and smut, although it's needed to move the story along. It also serves to answer the question: What do the Volturi do in their down time? Surely they don't sit around plotting constantly, do they? **

**The title of this chapter comes from _The Absence of Fear _by Jewel Kilcher. It's a lovely song, and some of the lines served as a bit of inspiration. I totally don't own that either.**

Edward spent several hours lounging in his bed with Demetri. He could truly see that Demetri cared for him, as every caress, kind word, or gentle kiss reminded him. Edward still found it difficult to accept--for several reasons-- but he could no longer resist the allure that Demetri held for him.

"I think my sister, Alice, saw this for me," Edward said incredulously, tracing the lines of Demetri's inner wrist. The two men hadn't spoken much, but had been showering one another with affections that had been denied before.

"What do you mean, E?" Demetri asked. Edward was facing away from Demetri, his head resting on his shoulder. He turned over to face him.

"Alice sees the future. It was her vision of Bella that drove me to come here," Edward began.

"Ah, yes, I remember you mentioning her."

"Well, when I left, she blocked her thoughts from me. She didn't really fight me on leaving, either. She must have seen you," Edward chuckled, the epiphany causing him to smile. Alice had obviously realized he would find some measure of contentment in Volterra, and he was beginning to understand that his family would accept whoever made him happy. The revelation made him feel freer and lighter.

He realized as he lay in Demetri's arms, that it did not matter to him anymore that Demetri was a man. Demetri was simply Demetri: someone that Edward wanted in so many ways, and Demetri wanted Edward, as well.

"So, you think she approved?" Demetri questioned, his eyes sparkling as they danced over every inch of Edward's face.

"Yes, I think she did," Edward replied quietly, returning Demetri's penetrating gaze before slowly leaning in to claim his lips. In the same manner as with their previous kisses it quickly gained intensity, and Edward soon found himself panting with his hands firmly clasped in Demetri's long, dark hair.

Demetri rolled over on top of Edward, capturing him underneath his marble body. Edward could not help the growl that escaped him upon feeling a nearly naked Demetri covering him completely. Edward felt debauched and wicked; he had never in his existence been so forward, but when Demetri's robe began slipping open he couldn't help but run his fingers over the newly exposed skin.

"You've no idea how good it feels to have your hands on me, E," Demetri groaned, his lips travelling to Edward's throat. Demetri's tongue darted out and traced the contour of Edward's jaw, before his teeth captured Edward's earlobe between them and bit down lightly.

Edward's body was humming under Demetri's attention. He thought of how wonderful it would feel if they were both completely naked, nothing separating their two bodies as they writhed against one another. Edward's hands began wandering to the knot on Demetri's robe when he abruptly stopped him.

"E, as much as I would like for you to continue," Demetri paused to place a chaste kiss on the end of Edward's nose, "I don't want this to be as a result of your distress." Edward felt a bit frustrated, but knew Demetri was right as soon as he'd spoken. As much as he craved Demetri, he knew that he would not be acting this licentious were it a normal day.

"I think we should get dressed before I completely lose all self-control," Demetri said, while pulling Edward's robe closed where it had begun coming undone. Edward's adoration of Demetri continued to grow with each moment he was in his presence.

Demetri rose from the bed, pulling Edward with him. Once they were standing, he leaned in for one more, sweet kiss on the mouth.

"Do you want me to come back through once I'm dressed?" Demetri asked.

"Yes, I do," Edward answered. The truth in the statement –and knowing that Demetri would be back—made Edward feel almost happy.

~*~

Time sped back up for Edward. He no longer spent his days wallowing in grief and regret. The guilt and sorrow he carried over Bella's death and the things he had done still lingered on the outskirts of his psyche, but he had found the willpower to keep them where they should be: events that were past that could not be reversed.

Much of the stability he had found was due to Demetri's never ending attentiveness and support. It had become a rarity to see the two men parted from each other, and Edward would not have had it otherwise.

Edward still questioned himself frequently about his sexuality. He knew that he wanted Demetri in every sense of the word, and often wondered how it would work. He'd picked up many thoughts over the years, and knew the mechanics of it, but still wondered how the dynamic would go between himself and Demetri.

Also, he wondered what kind of label to put on the relationship between the two of them. Edward felt strongly for Demetri, but neither man had ever tried to define exactly what they were. The physical aspect of things had not gone any further than their initial contact the day after the incident in London. Demetri had not pressed Edward for anything more, and for that he was grateful. However much he wanted Demetri, he was still wary of giving himself over fully. His inhibitions had been slightly raised, and he still pondered what had come over him that made him so forward temporarily. For now, Demetri seemed content to let Edward set the pace.

The days passed in quantifiable moments. Some days Edward and Demetri simply sat together in the library reading, or enjoyed the sun in the courtyard. Others were spent in hushed conversation, sharing details of one another; while others still were filled with tender kisses and whispered affections. In those moments, Edward felt like a thief, stealing bits and pieces of happiness he was never meant to have. Nevertheless, he took them with only slight feelings of guilt, and with gratitude that surpassed it.

Edward suddenly found that over a month had passed since the incident, and the end of May was upon them.

Edward was in the courtyard sitting in the grass, his back against the fountain. He had his head leaned back on the ledge, his eyes closed, soaking in the last light of day. He heard Demetri's thoughts well before he approached him.

_Quando i campi estivi sono falciati, quando gli uccelli sono a tutti gli effetti e trasportato in aereo, e le foglie secche cospargere il percorso, _Demetri thought, translating Longfellow into Italian.

Edward's eyes remained closed, but he knew Demetri was standing over him, as he was abruptly brought into shade. A wide smile spread across his face as Demetri's now familiar scent washed over him.

"'When the summer fields are mown, When the birds are fledged and flown, And the dry leaves strew the path,' Are you going to finish?" Edward chortled, opening his eyes to look at Demetri.

"I think I've forgotten the rest, E," Demetri answered, smirking and sitting down next to Edward. He took Edward's hand, entwining their fingers and placing a soft kiss on the back.

Edward's smile remained firmly on his face, as his eyes wandered to Demetri's mouth. Edward thought of how perfectly proportioned Demetri's lips were, and they were invitingly pink and slightly parted.  
He couldn't help but to press his own mouth to Demetri's perfect one. It was like Demetri was a bowl of sugar and he was an ant, Edward constantly had to touch and taste him. He pulled back to look at Demetri, pleased to see that his once deep red eyes were now completed embraced by a buttery gold.

"Why do you still block me?" Edward asked curiously. After all Demetri had shared with him, he couldn't possibly think of anything that the older man might want to keep hidden from him.

"Everyone is entitled to a few privacies, don't you think?" Demetri returned, absentmindedly pulling blades of grass from the ground. Edward could not disagree; he nodded and squeezed Demetri's hand.

"What did Aro need?" Edward asked. Demetri had been speaking with Aro over the last hour about some kind of mission. Edward sincerely hoped Demetri would not be asked to leave Volterra without him. He had grown overly accustomed to Demetri's company. When had he become so co-dependent?

"About that, I have a vice I've yet to share with you. It's one of my few faults." Demetri grinned and then continued in an exaggerated whisper, "I like to gamble." Demetri followed up with a snicker. Edward laughed at his arrogance and theatrics.

"What does your gambling addiction have to do with Aro?"

"Well, every now and again, Aro likes to go to the Grand Prix in Monaco. The weather rarely suits us, you see, but this year it's supposed to be overcast. You can't find better gambling than in Monte Carlo. Practice runs begin tomorrow, and, of course, he requires some of the guard to go with him. Sulpicia is actually going, as well. That, in itself, is a rarity and Aro wants a few more guards to travel with them because of it. The jet is leaving early in the morning," Demetri answered.

"Oh," Edward stated, looking at the ground. He felt crestfallen, Demetri would be gone several days, and he would have loved the chance to see the Grand Prix—what car lover wouldn't? --, but being part of the Volturi guard meant only going where you are ordered. "Will Chelsea be remaining here? Or Felix? I would like some sort of company while you're gone."

"Felix and Chelsea are going, as well," Demetri stated, still smiling. Edward felt worse. "E, I can't do this to you," Demetri was laughing, and Edward was starting to get irritated. "You looked so sad, and now you're getting angry. You're positively fetching when you're moody. You'll be going, too; I could never leave without you." Edward felt immediate relief, and a twinge of growing excitement. He shoved Demetri playfully with his shoulder.

"Good. I imagine someone needs to keep their eye on you and your gambling," Edward chuckled, rising to his feet and dusting off his trousers. He offered a hand to Demetri as he got up.

"Let's go get in a hunt before we leave, E. That place will be swarming with warm bodies, and I don't want any slips." Demetri used Edward's hand to pull him to his body, taking him in his arms and holding him tightly. Edward wrapped his arms around Demetri's torso, burying his face in the crook of Demetri's neck and inhaling his heady aroma. Edward adored the way Demetri made him feel human.

"How is it you always make me feel so valuable?" Edward asked rhetorically. Demetri answered him anyway.

"Because you are," he replied, rubbing small circles on Edward's back.

The two men took their time hunting before returning to their rooms to pack. Edward started to go to his room while Demetri entered his, but Demetri followed him to his room. "I'll pack for you, E," Demetri said, going around Edward into the room.

Edward had never understood how nice it was to let someone else take care of him. He had always been the one protecting and caring for others, but with Demetri every gesture, word, or action was shaped to make Edward feel wanted, protected, and worthwhile.

"You really don't have to do that, Demetri. I'm plenty capable of packing my things," Edward teased, although—as with everything else Demetri did for him—he was warmed by the care he was being given. Edward could not imagine why he had ever resented it.

"Are you, now? If you're going to be seen with me I want to make sure you look presentable. I've seen how you pack," Demetri chided, his lips curling impishly. Demetri's words reminded Edward that he had yet to think about how this would be the first time the two of them would be in public together as a… couple? How would he handle that? Would Demetri be affectionate in the open? Edward dismissed his thoughts, realizing he was over one hundred years old and public perception should not be a worry for him.

"I resent that. All of my clothes are impeccable. You insult them, you insult yourself. You picked most of them out," Edward countered, walking to where Demetri stood by his closet picking out clothing. He slid his fingers into Demetri's belt loops and pulled him back into his chest, placing a kiss in Demetri's hair.

"If you start that, E, we may never leave."

"Sorry," Edward mumbled. He had come to be more expressive with his physical affection as of late, but was still inhibited by his lingering since of propriety, causing him to feel embarrassed when he realized how impulsive he was being.

"E, you don't ever have to apologize for touching me." Demetri turned around, taking Edward's face in his hands and kissing him quickly on the forehead. "It would be like apologizing for letting me drink blood or track. You can't apologize for giving me something I have to have," he stated ardently, and went back to picking out Edward's clothing. Edward appreciated precisely what Demetri meant.

Chelsea and Felix arrived shortly thereafter to walk out with them. Edward was relieved to find out Jane and Alec would not be attending. Apparently, they were much too volatile to have around that many humans. So, it would be Aro, Sulpicia, Renata, Felix, Chelsea, Demetri, and Edward flying to Monaco. The flight itself would take less than thirty minutes, for which Edward was grateful. Aro's false cheer could be overwhelming, and in closed spaces it would only worsen.

"We'll be guarding Aro in shifts so that none of us has to be around him the entire time," Chelsea said to Edward, giving him a knowing wink. Edward wondered what that had been about. "Except for Renata of course, but she's used to being around him all the time. Probably explains why she's always so grumpy."

"I call during the race!" Demetri interjected loudly. "So does E!"

"Oh man, Demetri, I was about to call the race," Felix whined. "Well, I'll take the qualifying then."

"I hate to tell you Felix, but it's supposed to be sunny during the qualifying, but maybe you'll get lucky," Demetri sniggered.

"I don't care about any of this," Chelsea added. "I'll go where I'm needed. Boys and their cars…I swear, I'm nearly five hundred years old and men are still a mystery to me." Edward smiled and put his arm around Chelsea's shoulders, hugging her from the side.

"Stupid, sparkly, shimmery skin," Felix mumbled, "supposed to be a big, bad, killing machine, but it looks like I'm painted with body glitter."

All four vampires broke out into bright laughter. Edward looked around at his fellow guard members and realized that somewhere over the last few months they had become his friends, which was something he had not thought possible upon his arrival in Volterra. So many things that he used to think he was unfailingly correct about were being proven false, and he was not at all upset by it. He was learning that good and bad were not as simple as black and white. It was a vicissitude he welcomed openly, because he was surely finding his peace.

They travelled to the airport and boarded their flight. By the time they got to the airport, Aro, Sulpicia, and Renata had already boarded.

"Hey, Renata," Felix flirted, winking at her exaggeratedly. She rolled her eyes dramatically, and looked away.

"Hello everyone," Aro greeted animatedly. "I'm so glad you'll all be joining us." Edward found the statement entertaining, as he knew they had no choice in the matter. He was looking forward to the event, however, and gave his thanks to Aro for having him go.

"No need to thank me, young man, thank Demetri there." Aro nodded towards Demetri. "He refused to go without you. It seems that you two have grown…close," he finished, eyes widening. Edward looked towards Demetri who was sitting to his right, and looked back at Aro. Demetri was narrowing his eyes at the ancient vampire.

"Demetri, my boy, stop glaring daggers! Allow an old man his observations," Aro admonished.

"It's hardly a simple observation when you pick thoughts straight from my brain," Demetri grumbled.

"Speak up, Demetri! It's not that I cannot hear you anyway, and if you are going to say something, speak with conviction," Aro spoke with emphasis, his smile never faltering.

"Some things are personal, Aro. I know that you can't help but know, but please show some discretion," Demetri hissed, looking pointedly around the plane, pointing out that they were among a large group.

"Demetri, I was under the impression that you were quite comfortable with yourself. Regardless, I was simply stating that you and young Edward here have developed quite the friendship," Aro turned towards Edward, "right, Edward?"

The plane suddenly seemed extremely quiet, all eyes focused on Edward, as though waiting to see how he would respond. _You don't have to say anything, E. _Demetri thought. Edward drummed his fingers nervously on the arm rest. They hadn't even taken off yet, and he was already being interrogated.

Edward sighed and simply extended his arm, allowing Aro to take his hand. He loathed this, but it was better than discussing his private life in front of six vampires. Plus he found it quite difficult to put his relationship with Demetri into words. He began to hear all his conflicted, guilty, and lustful thoughts echoing through Aro's head, reverberating off his skull.

"Well, well, Edward, it seems as though you have taken my advice to sort yourself out in completely the wrong context," Aro chuckled. "Such is life. Be careful, you two."

Edward could make no sense of what Aro was thinking or speaking. He decided to dismiss it, and focus on enjoying his time away from Volterra.

The plane finally took off, and the journey was passed with much lighter conversation. Edward discussed the mechanics of Formula One race cars with Felix, Aro, and Demetri, while Chelsea and Sulpicia moaned about pointless conversations. Renata sat quietly, gazing out the window looking bored. It all felt so normal; before now Edward has always thought the Volturi spent their time wringing their hands and being evil, but this trip felt reminiscent of something he would have done with his family.

Once they had arrived in Monaco, each of the vampires settled into their rooms. Edward noticed that Aro had given Demetri and him rooms on separate floors, which Edward found humorous. It was Thursday and the actual race did not take place until Sunday, so they had several days to fill.

They spent the first few days indoors during daylight hours, and out and about in the evenings. Demetri, true to his word, threw himself into gambling, spending the first three nights they were there losing a sinful amount of money. He was ruffled that Edward would not help him cheat at cards, but, of course, forgave him quickly.

Gambling seemed to be a vice all the vampires had, including Chelsea. Edward couldn't help but laugh when Chelsea parked herself in front of a slot machine, remaining there for hours, cursing internally at the offending lights and spinning mechanisms. Felix could be heard anywhere in the casino, shouting at the roulette wheel or cheering at the craps table. Edward caught glimpses of him from time to time toting around a pretty red head, and wondered if she would survive the night. He shook off the thought. The rest of their party seemed to keep to the poker tables.

Edward was somewhat awed by the Volturi and their guard's ability to blend in. Each of them, with the exception of Demetri and Edward, wore colored contact lenses hiding their burgundy eyes, and all knew how to play the human game. Well rehearsed fidgets, scratches, and sniffs were executed with choreographed smoothness; Edward was glad he was there to witness it.

He was thoroughly riveted watching Demetri at the top of his game; every few moments he would lean back in his chair, stretch out his legs, nervously run his hands through his hair, or scratch his chin. With his charm, wit, and ruggedly handsome features, he was easily the most intriguing and beautiful person at any table he sat—a god among mortals--, and it sent a thrill through Edward knowing that he was the one who was allowed to touch him however he wanted.

Edward was having more fun than he'd had in quite some time, and was very much looking forward to the race. Aro had seats at the finish line, so they would be right there when the Grand Prix climaxed.

Sunday morning came and Felix was complaining.

"But I wanted the seats at the finish line! Come on, Demetri. Please trade with me. _Please_! I'll do anything," Felix begged as they headed to the race. The day was overcast just as promised, but the vampires carried umbrellas just in case the sun decided to peek through. The three men were walking behind the ladies and Aro.

"Felix, I'm afraid I just can't. E is looking forward to the race, and he won't sit anywhere else," Demetri chuckled, trying to shift the blame.

"Don't bring me into it," Edward stated.

"Edward," Felix started. Edward held up his hands.

"I have nothing to do with it," he laughed out, looking apologetically at Felix. Felix turned back to Demetri, jutting out his lower lip.

"Demetri, you _always _get to sit at the finish line with Aro! We hardly ever get to come here. Please, please, please," Felix finished, clasping his hands together and gazing imploringly at Demetri. Demetri pursed his lips and thought it over a few minutes.

"Okay, Felix, you and E can sit with Aro and I'll watch from somewhere else with Chelsea," he finally conceded. Felix pumped his fist in the air and let out a joyful yell.

"Thank you, Demetri! You're the best friend that immortality could ever provide!" Felix said excitedly. He then abruptly grabbed Demetri by the shoulders and placed a sloppy kiss on Demetri's cheek. Edward erupted into a fit of laughter. He wished he could watch the race with Demetri, but with Felix it was sure to be full of humor.

"Don't worry, Edward. I'm not going to steal Demetri. Of course I could, being as good looking as I am," Felix teased, putting his arm over Edward's shoulders. Demetri smirked and shook his head at Felix.

The vampires came to the place where they would have to part ways. Edward knew it was ridiculous, but he would miss Demetri's company in the few hours they would be parted. Demetri must have felt the same way, because he leaned in to give Edward a goodbye kiss. Edward was momentarily stunned by this; they were surrounded by thousands of people, but he quickly pushed the discomfort away in favor or Demetri's engaging mouth.

All seemed to fall away as Demetri took Edward's lower lip in between his and suckled lightly. It was Felix's wolf whistle that reminded him that they had an audience. Edward broke the contact quickly, laughing with embarrassment. Demetri smiled widely at him, staring at him with _that _look in his eyes; that look like Demetri was a starving man and Edward was sustenance. Demetri swiped his thumb over Edward's jaw saying, "I'll see you in a bit, E."

Aro's thoughts were screaming at Edward to hurry it up. Edward couldn't understand why Aro was so opposed to his relationship with Demetri. Edward looked at Aro and saw he still had his fake smile plastered on his face. He turned back to Demetri.

"See you soon, Demetri," Edward replied, grinning like a fool. He leaned in and quickly gave Demetri a peck on the cheek, not quite ready to end the contact between the two of them. Chelsea stepped in taking Demetri's arm and guiding him away.

"Bye, Edward," Chelsea smartly chimed. Edward waved goodbye to them reluctantly.

"Come on!" Felix urged exaggeratedly. "There are fast cars this way, Edward, or have you turned into a complete girl?" Edward rolled his eyes. He was growing increasingly smitten; Felix reminded him he needed to watch himself.

"Okay, Felix, let's get to those fast cars," Edward's excitement for the race was in full force, and he and Felix gladly escorted Aro and Sulpicia to their seats. Renata was close by as always, grousing the entire time.

The race seemed to go by swiftly, with Felix jeering, laughing, and cheering as the cars sped around the tortuous track; even Aro joined in on the cheering occasionally, and for once his good nature was genuine. Felix was a wealth of knowledge about the cars and drivers, and Edward enjoyed spending the race speaking with him. The total distance was about two hundred and sixty kilometers, but at the speeds the cars went it was finished in less than two hours.

Once the race was over, the thousands of bodies that were packed into the streets started trying to exit, and it was nearly impossible to move.

Aro turned to Edward and Felix saying, "You two boys go back to the hotel, we'll be fine with Renata a few moments while we find Demetri and Chelsea. I need them to do something for me."

Edward was wary of Aro's request because he was quite deliberately blocking his thoughts from Edward. He had no choice but to comply, however.

"Are you sure, Aro? We can remain with you a few more moments while we track them down…" Edward started.

"No, no, young man, I am positive. You two go relax," Aro interrupted, smirk firmly in place.

Edward nodded tersely, a sinking feeling inside. Whatever Aro was up to could not be good, and he worried for Demetri.

"Edward, give it up, man. Let's go to the casino and find some good-looking women. Er, I mean, find me some good-looking women," Felix coaxed, laughing boisterously. Edward gave him a small smile that did not reach his eyes and gestured for Felix to lead, watching Aro walk away until he could no longer see him.

Edward spent around two hours in the casino with Felix, but could not stop thinking about Demetri. Felix finally jokingly called Edward a wet blanket and told him to go to his room, he was bringing down his mood and scaring off the ladies. Edward gladly complied.

He stayed in his room another hour without hearing anything before Chelsea knocked on his door.

"Where's Demetri?" was the first thing he said upon seeing Chelsea.

"Hello to you, too, Edward," Chelsea greeted sarcastically, walking into the room. Edward had to concentrate not to slam the door behind her.

"I apologize, Chelsea. I've been worried. Aro was keeping me blocked after the race today, and it's set me on edge. How are you?" Edward corrected, still wanting her to tell him where Demetri was.

"I'm fine. Aro wanted us to escort him around some of the historic parts of Monte Carlo. He let me come back, but said he needed Demetri for a few more hours." Chelsea could see that Edward had gotten himself all worked up. "Demetri is well, Edward, I promise. He was completely intact when I left them," she finished, placating him. Edward sat on the sofa, and Chelsea took her place next to him.

"Something simply does not feel right," Edward said, throwing his hands in the air. He was bouncing his knees nervously; Chelsea placed her palm on his knee, stilling the movement.

"I care for him much more than I should," Edward sighed.

"Why should you not care for him?" Chelsea asked curiously, nudging Edward so that he would stop avoiding her gaze. Edward obliged.

"Because it never seems to end well for me. My parents, my family, Bella…I lost them all one way or another." He leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

"Edward, I thought you were getting past all those feelings. I know that you know better. There's a balance to life, and you can't keep yourself hidden away."

"I _do _know that, but it's so difficult to completely change the way I've lived for a century. I have hated myself and deemed myself undeserving of…anything, and when I conceded and cared for Bella… I'm being pulled in all different directions. I am getting better, but it seems that I could so easily fall back into… It's like my guilt is a wolf at the door, and if I open myself up to anything further, it will come charging back in," Edward spluttered. Chelsea patted his back attempting comfort.

"I've seen you changing, Edward. You have these moments were your joy is infectious," she paused, leaning into Edward and smiling. "Why do you think that is?" Chelsea finished with a smirk.

The answer was clearly Demetri. He would not contest that. Demetri had become everything Edward needed: compassionate, strong-willed, understanding, patient, and kind. He _needed _Demetri beyond words, but, for some reason, he could not say that out loud. He opened his mouth to answer Chelsea, but Demetri's name would not pass his lips. Edward was still afraid. He was still keeping things hidden. So, he simply closed his mouth and looked at Chelsea. Her smile faded into a knowing look full of sympathy.

"Would you like me to stay here with you until he returns?" Chelsea asked quietly.

"You don't have to waste your last night in Monaco on me. Go, have fun. I'll be fine." Edward gestured towards the door.

"Time spent with you is not time wasted. Besides, it's been awhile since I've gotten to spend any time with you, as much as Demetri has been monopolizing your time," she giggled.

"That is true," Edward acknowledged, relieved he would not have to wait alone.

Chelsea wanted to practice keeping Edward out of her head, which she still struggled with. The two of them worked on that for several hours before Edward got so restless that he was ready to start scouring the streets for Demetri. He had actually risen from the sofa, and was walking towards the door with Chelsea trailing after him when he finally heard Demetri's thoughts as he was reentering the hotel. Edward let out a large sigh of relief, not realizing he had been holding his breath.

Edward's relief was extremely short-lived, however, once he focused on Demetri's thoughts. Demetri was thinking about blood. A few moments later there was a knock on Edward's door, and he rushed to answer it.

Demetri stood before Edward with his head down. "Could you leave us, Chelsea?" Demetri asked quietly, still not looking up. It was then that Edward realized Demetri's normally earthy, sweet fragrance was marred by something…human.

"Of course," Chelsea replied, as she picked up on the scent as well. She paused before brushing past Demetri, giving Edward an anxious glance.

Edward stood aside from the door, letting Demetri enter, the dread that had been festering in his mind manifesting into something tangible. Edward closed the door behind him.

"What's going on, Demetri," Edward asked lamely. Demetri was still firmly looking at his feet. "Will you look at me?" Demetri's thoughts still circled around blood.

What sounded like a whimper escaped from Demetri and his thoughts became flooded with fear. Edward could see his face scrunched up in trepidation and his lips puckered. Slowly, he raised his eyes to meet Edward's.

At first, Edward was confused, and couldn't make sense of what he was seeing. He thought it must be some kind of joke or a trick of the light, but he knew this was not funny and his vision was perfect. Demetri's eyes—that were a bright topaz earlier in the day—were undeniably despoiled by flecks of bright red.

Edward ripped his eyes away from Demetri's, walking over to the bed and sitting down. He pinched the bridge of his nose and concentrated on breathing in and out. Demetri's thoughts were still filled with terror as he stared at Edward, waiting on him to say something.

Demetri had drunk from a human, and Edward was speechless. What did it mean? What caused him to revert back to that? They had parted on good terms much earlier in the day; had Demetri given up on Edward?

"Why… What happened, Demetri?" Edward stuttered out, returning his gaze to Demetri who stood rooted in his spot. Demetri's features held such agony that Edward wanted to go to him and smooth out the worried wrinkles that graced his brow, but the burgundy in his eyes kept him from it.

Edward's words spurred reaction from Demetri who was in front of him instantly, going to his knees, placing his hands on Edward's thighs. Edward welcomed the touch, but partly wanted to push him off.

"Edward, please don't hate me. I'm so afraid…please don't hate me," Demetri begged, laying his forehead on Edward's knee. "He told me it meant you didn't care for me…that if you truly did, you wouldn't mind…you would accept that…"

"Who? What are you talking about, Demetri? You're not making any sense," Edward implored.

"Aro," he answered simply. Edward went from feeling lost to angry in a split second.

"Tell me," Edward growled.

"_Please _do not hate me, Edward. I'll show you," Demetri stated, opening his thoughts to Edward.

The evening was played back to Edward, and it was as though he were there to witness it.

_Demetri said goodbye to Chelsea, making sure she understood to tell Edward he would be with him as soon as possible. Aro told Demetri he needed him to escort him on a few errands before going back to their hotel. _

_Aro led Demetri, along with Sulpicia and Renata to a separate hotel. Demetri wondered why Aro needed to go here, but simply dismissed it. His only thought was of hurrying Aro, so that he could get back to Edward. It had been far too long since he'd seen him._

_The four vampires went to a nondescript hotel room for which Aro had a key. Demetri looked at him questioningly while glancing at the others in their party. They all seemed perfectly at ease. _

"_Simply a few friends I wanted to visit with," Aro stated, answering Demetri's unspoken question._

_Demetri knew what was going on as soon as he entered the room and saw four humans bound, gagged, and unconscious. He glared at Aro and turned to leave, the sound of the thundering pulses causing his mouth to fill with venom which he promptly swallowed down._

"_Do you think he honestly feels something for you, Demetri?" He did not turn around to look at Aro, but had stopped walking._

"_Of course he does," Demetri answered hesitantly. _

"_It does not sound like you're so sure," Aro sang out. "Has he told you that? Has he done anything to return the care you give him? I know he hasn't; I have read you both. He would have you turn soft and weak…let you change the way you have lived your life for nearly six centuries, dear boy."_

_Demetri turned back around and re entered the room, closing the door behind him. Aro's words caused him to doubt. "It's not right that you should tell me what he thinks."_

"_You must want to know, or you would not have come in," Aro laughed, turning towards one of the captured human females, using his sharp fingernail to slice into her wrist. The aroma wafted to Demetri immediately as the ambrosia droplets began falling to the carpet. Demetri's thirst was nearly overwhelming, the venom flooding his mouth so quickly he could not swallow it fast enough. His throat was parched and throbbing, his body felt dried up, and his heart was breaking._

"_He is only using you, Demetri, and it pains me to have to tell you that. Have I not cared for you, and led you through this life for hundreds of years? Have I not ensured that you were happy, and had everything you could ever want? If he truly felt something for you, he would let you do this. You are like a crutch to him, and once he is healed, you will no longer be needed," Aro finished, frowning and nodding._

_Demetri had not felt the need to cry in five hundred and sixty-nine years, but, at that moment, he wanted to. _

"_I told him I would take what I could get from him, and if all he needs is a crutch, then I will keep him level until he can stand on his own," Demetri choked out, his eyes stinging with tears that would never appear. Aro clicked his tongue disapprovingly._

"_And you are satisfied with giving up something you crave, simply to be someone's doormat?"_

"_Yes," Demetri answered emphatically, once more turning his back to leave. __His thirst was swelling like a destructive wave; the warm blood rushing through the humans was provoking him like a thousand demonic voices, imploring him to find relief in their moist, soothing, life-giving offering._

"_You will never replace his darling Bella. She had a pulse and hot, sweet blood rushing through her veins. She was so delicate and so very human; you will never be that for him." __That was the crux of it. Demetri's insecurity ripped out and brought to the service. Aro had cut it out of him like surgeon, and put it on display for anyone to view. Demetri could never be human; he couldn't even remember what that was._

_Demetri's last strings of restraint were snipped with each word Aro said and he abruptly turned around. Without another thought he had the female in his arms, his teeth buried in the soft flesh of her throat, her scalding blood rushing into his parched mouth. In a matter of moments she was completely drained. Demetri dropped her limp body to the floor, exiting the room swiftly, feeling sick about what he'd just done._

_Aro's gleeful chuckles followed him on the breeze. Demetri wandered aimlessly before finally finding the courage to go face Edward._

"Stop," Edward said, trying to clear his head of the painful thoughts from Demetri. Aro was right; Demetri had cared for him, comforted him, kept Edward sane, but he had yet to even put into words how important Demetri was to him.

"I am so, so, very sorry, Edward. I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was. Please, don't hate me," Demetri begged again, looking at him desperately.

"Stop," Edward repeated. Demetri looked away from him. "_I'm _the one who should be sorry." Demetri looked back at him incredulously. Edward's words were true, because Demetri's heartbreak was his heartbreak, and he felt a flutter in chest where his heart once beat.

How could he have allowed Demetri to feel he did not care for him? Edward needed Demetri, and not as a crutch, but as a friend, partner, and lover. He would not lose him because of a bitter old man and blood lust.

Edward's hands went to Demetri's face, smoothing out those worried lines on his forehead, before soothingly running through his wavy hair.

"Demetri," Edward paused and gulped. He was so frightened of what would happen after he voiced his affections for Demetri, but he was bolstered by the strength Demetri had shown him over and over again. He continued, "you have become _everything _to me. I would be worse than dead if you had not seen fit to save me. It's my fault that you had to doubt…because I am a selfish coward. I must have done something horribly good along the line in order to gain your affections. Providence was truly with me when it was you that tackled me in the Piazza dei Priori," Edward vented, laughing towards the end. Edward breathed out noisily, relieved now that he had found his voice. "I promise you, Demetri, that I will tell you daily, beginning now, how valuable you are. You are a better man than I could ever hope to be, and you are wanted. I want you with _me._"

"But what I've done…"

"Is forgivable," Edward interrupted, "and understandable. The fault was mine, and you were manipulated. I don't think I could find the strength to be away from you, no matter how many slips you might have. You have become my gravity."

_That is why I won't allow it to happen again, _Demetri thought, the honesty ringing true.

In less than the span of a heartbeat, Demetri had raised himself up, forcefully pressing his mouth against Edward's. The sense of completeness, rightness, and joy that Edward felt in Demetri's presence was multiplied by his admissions, and he returned the kiss passionately.

Edward's hands felt empty, and he wanted to feel Demetri's muscled flesh in them, so he began tearing at Demetri's clothing. Demetri willingly assisted Edward in removing his shirt, and began removing Edward's in turn. Edward lay back on the bed, pulling Demetri on top of him, aggressively clutching Demetri's exposed torso everywhere heated skin met his palms.

Demetri's body felt like silk and mobile stone as he moved over Edward. Their mutual arousals were thrust together, causing the most delicious feeling to build in Edward. He shakily placed one hand between them, smartly undoing Demetri's belt and trousers. Demetri parted his mouth from Edward's and looked at him, clutching his hand and stopping its searching.

"Stop, Edward. Can I do something for you?" Demetri asked. Edward knew he was ready to progress in his physical relationship with Demetri, his body wanting to thoroughly express his ardor, but Edward wondered what Demetri had in mind. "You trust me? It's something I've wanted to do for awhile. Please, Edward?" Edward came undone at the tender way Demetri pleaded with him and nodded his head. Demetri smirked and began showering warm kisses over his throat and down to his chest.

Demetri paused his downward trek to lightly tease one of Edward's nipples with his seasoned tongue, before nibbling gently. Edward could not stop his hips from bucking as more venom flowed to his already turgid erection. Demetri chuckled—a deep, throaty, warm sound—before continuing downward once more. He began unbuckling Edward's belt and unbuttoning his trousers while he continued lascivious kisses over Edward's unyielding flesh. Edward was suddenly aware of what Demetri intended to do, and he moaned quietly, his member growing impossibly harder.

Finally, Demetri had Edward completely stripped and he hummed lustfully at the sight of Edward's naked form, splayed shamelessly before him.

"I could look at you like this forever, Edward, but it would be a waste of flesh," Demetri purred, flattening his tongue and licking Edward's stiffness from base to tip. Edward's body snapped at the exquisite sensation, and his head fell back as he panted and gasped for unnecessary air.

Without further prelude, Demetri closed his mouth around Edward's erection, sucking gently.

_Tight. Wet. Heat. _"Oh…oohh, _God,_" Edward breathed, fighting the urge to explode. Demetri skillfully began moving his head up and down, his full attention focused on Edward's pleasure. Edward found the strength to raise his head and look down at Demetri, who peeked up at him from under heavily lidded eyes promiscuously. It was the single most erotic thing Edward could have ever imagined, or anyone else could've imagined for him. He was glad he was already lying down because he knew the feelings his lover was eliciting from him would render him helpless.

_You taste so good, Edward, _Demetri thought, while moaning around him. The vibrations from Demetri sent new ripples of pleasure through Edward's heightened system, and he started thrusting helplessly into Demetri's throat. Edward dug his fingers into the bedspread, his fingers desperately seeking purchase. He writhed, shook, quaked, and cried out, his body overloaded by the unfamiliar, concupiscent sensations.

Edward decided to be brazen; he wanted to make Demetri feel like this. After all, Demetri was always taking care of Edward, and Edward wished to take care of him. The thought of a naked Demetri entered his mind, and he found the will to stop him.

"Demetri," Edward whispered out between pants. "I want…to do this to you." Demetri released Edward's erection with an audible pop and he looked up at him, his skin slightly flushed and his eyes dark.

"Are you sure? We could do it to each other at the same time if you want, or I can continue here. I'm thoroughly enjoying myself." And illustrating his point, he began flicking his tongue across the opening at the tip of Edward's member, then swirling it around the head. Edward moaned again.

Edward pulled Demetri to him, kissing him deeply and tasting a bit of himself there. It wasn't bad, and he knew that Demetri's essence would be that much better. His scent alone caused Edward to feel insane with need, he could not wrap his mind around how ambrosial the concentrated flavor would be. Edward made short work or removing Demetri's trousers, rolling over on top of him.

Demetri's throbbing, weeping arousal pulsated on his stomach, and Edward suddenly realized he wanted Demetri in his mouth more than he'd ever wanted Bella's blood. The thought emboldened him and he lowered himself down Demetri's body, and looked at him fully.

Edward had never paid much attention to nudity before. Men nor women had grabbed his attention, and his own body had never seemed that attractive, but as his eyes drank in Demetri in primal form, his want for him grew exponentially.

Tentatively, Edward took Demetri's erection between his parted lips. Immediately, Demetri's sweet flavor enveloped his mouth, and Edward began moving his head, suckling lightly. He wanted to please Demetri, and was, for once, thankful for his mind reading abilities and his siblings thriving sex lives. Demetri was now moaning as Edward increased in suction and picked up his pace. Demetri's thoughts were caring yet libertine, his pleasure clearly displayed. He felt drunk on Demetri's sweetness, and began laving the tip of his member, searching out more of Demetri's taste. Edward wanted to take Demetri completely in his mouth, and was just about to attempt it when Demetri abruptly pulled him to his chest, flipping them over once again.

Demetri began grinding his hips into Edward's, their slick, venom covered erections sliding together in beautiful tandem. Edward bucked against Demetri with equal fervor.

"I want to look at you when you come, and I want you to see what you do to me, Edward," Demetri said carnally, his voice dripping with animalistic want. Edward roughly brought Demetri's mouth down to meet his, and thrust his tongue into his mouth, their teeth clacking together noisily. Edward caught Demetri's lip between his teeth and bit down, anything to get him _closer. _He broke away from Demetri's mouth, and begin nipping his way down his throat, capturing flesh between his teeth wherever he could.

Demetri grabbed Edward's leg and hitched it over his hip, using the new angle to unabashedly grind into Edward. Both men's moans escalated, closing in on the release they sought so desperately with each other.

"Come now, Edward. Oh…nnnn..I can't…I'm going to…oh, _Edward,"_ Demetri's orgasm overtook him, and Edward allowed his release to spill over as well. His body lost control as he shouted out Demetri's name, digging his fingers into the flesh of Demetri's back, continuing to thrust his hips mindlessly into his lover. The euphoria caused Edward to laugh aloud, his body singing a tune he had never known it could compose. Edward felt limp after the tingling aftermath of the ecstasy ebbed away.

Demetri collapsed on top of Edward, smiling against Edward's shoulder, before placing a lingering kiss on his collar bone. He lifted his head to look at Edward, who lazily smirked at him.

"Thank you, Edward. For everything."

"You're the one who saved me. Thank _you,_" Edward said, kissing Demetri languorously.

_Now let's get cleaned up so I can work on making you filthy again, _Demetri thought, rising from the bed, pulling Edward with him.

Edward could think of nothing he would love more.

**End notes: Thanks to you lovely readers and reviewers. I appreciate every single one of you. :) Big special thanks to GracieBlack28 for being the Demetri to my Edward; she totally supports me when I get all self-deprecating, and is the best friend a gal could have! Happy New Year everyone!**


	9. Justified Absolution

**Author's note: Sorry for the update delay! I had actually written about half of this chapter and my computer ate it or something. I'm sure it couldn't have been my fault. ;) Anyway, I did want this chapter to be right, and it was difficult to rewrite what I had already written. I hope you enjoy! Thanks as always to my wonderful readers and reviewers.**

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Demetri and Edward decided to take their time getting cleaned up, and opted for a bath; it would have been a shame to let the over-sized tub –perfectly shaped for two—remain unused.

Demetri unabashedly paraded around the bathroom naked while allowing the water to fill, but Edward's modesty was quickly returning now that his arousal had abated. Still, he was appreciative of Demetri's audaciousness, as the clean cut lines of his muscle hydrated Edward's thirsty eyes.

Edward fidgeted and tried to inconspicuously cover himself with his arms, but it did not escape Demetri's notice. He saw Edward's discomfort and walked over to him, grasping his arms and holding them to his sides.

"Don't hide yourself from me, Edward." Demetri peppered kisses across Edward's face. "I've waited to have you this way a long time. I want to see you, and after what we just did, how can you still be so coy?" he asked, looking perplexed while maintaining a half-smirk.

Edward looked at the floor, realizing it was rather silly for him to choose now to be bashful. He looked at Demetri's pleasant face and smiled shyly. "This is, quite obviously, new to me; in every way, this is new," he said gesturing between the two of them, "I'm not exactly as practiced as you."

"Then we shall have to change that," Demetri laughed, getting in the tub and playfully pulling Edward on top of him. Edward was caught off guard by the action, and landed in the water with a large splash which thoroughly soaked the floor. Edward tried to right himself and sit up in the tub, but Demetri wrapped his arms around him, keeping him in place, all the while laughing uproariously. Demetri's chuckles while Edward lay on top of him reminded Edward of just how exposed they were, as each laugh caused their bodies to settle together perfectly. He decided to silence Demetri by kissing him, and that worked rather effectively.

Edward's lips wandered from Demetri's mouth down to his neck, placing open-mouthed kisses on every inch of Demetri's exquisitely flavored throat. Demetri obligingly cocked his head to the side so that Edward could more easily reach the sensitive patch of flesh below his earlobe. Edward paused his traversing lips and tongue to murmur, "What are we?"

"We're vampires," Demetri groaned out, obviously failing at trying to maintain an earnest tone. Edward lifted his face to stare at him in exasperation.

"Why can't you just ever answer my questions, Demetri?"

"I do answer them, E, you just fail to thoroughly express what you're asking," he replied wittily. Edward rolled his eyes. "Okay, sorry. I just can't help it. I can't think of a label, Edward. Honestly, the way I feel about you transcends any sort of title, word, or name that I can conceive. I know that I want you close. I miss you when I'm not with you, and you monopolize my thoughts. I know you've completely obliterated my notion that I could spend eternity unmatched, and I hope that you'll consider me as an alternative to your Bella." Edward looked like he was about to speak, but Demetri stopped him. "You don't have to say anything about Bella. I know that what Aro said was somewhat true. I am the complete opposite of her in every way possible. There is no comparison, and I'm fine with that," he finished, squeezing Edward's torso where Demetri still held him.

"I'm confused about my s-sexuality," Edward stuttered, but continued, "but I'm not confused about you anymore. Trying to refrain from talking to you, being with you…touching you has been like trying to catch smoke in my hands; it's futile and pointless. With Bel—"

"You don't have to talk about Bella."

"But I—"

"Please, Edward, I don't think I could bear to hear aloud again how inadequate I am," Demetri said clenching his eyes closed and turning his head. "If you need to talk about Bella, I'm here to listen as before, but I don't want to speak of the pros and cons of myself verses Bella. Please." Edward realized he wasn't going to get in another word about Bella, and decided to leave it alone for the moment.

"Demetri, I want _you. _Obviously, I do. I've never done anything like that," Edward gestured back towards the bedroom, "in my life."

"You mean with a man?" Edward shook his head. "You mean ever?" Edward nodded. "Ever? Not even with a woman?" Edward nodded again. "So, last month in the shower when you said you'd never… you didn't just mean with yourself?" Edward chuckled and nodded once more. Demetri looked absolutely flabbergasted, and for the first time Edward could recall, Demetri was speechless. He just stared at Edward with his mouth slightly agape.

_Sweet Neptune, _Demetri thought, allowing his head to fall back on the edge of the tub. "No wonder you're confused. I apologize for being so pushy, Edward," he said, raising his head back up to look at Edward.

"Please, don't be. Physically, you've been more patient than anyone could ever expect; you've been more patient than I deserve. There have been points where you have compelled me to speak or act in other situations, but I see that it was what I needed. I don't think I can properly express my gratitude for how you make me feel. The way that you have mended my spirit is unbelievable, even to me, and I want to please you," Edward paused and began finding the ripples in the water very interesting, "and I want you to please me. I don't regret what we've done, not in the least. I feel better than I have in…decades, really," he finished, still shocked somewhat that he could welcome physical attention so openly, and astonished at the depth of the fondness he had for Demetri.

Demetri placed his finger under Edward's chin, bringing his face up to meet his. "Thank you, Edward, for accepting me, for wanting me." He then brought Edward closer into a fierce embrace, nuzzling Edward's neck while covering it with kisses. They remained that way for several more moments, enjoying the intimacy that only skin against skin can bring. Edward delighted in Demetri's embrace, understanding that he had finally found a refuge from all his demons in Demetri's cherished grip.

"Why does Aro detest the idea of us together?" Edward asked, breaking the quiet.

"He has talked to me about it a few times over the last months. You have to remember that Aro has known me for hundreds of years. He's seen me at my very worst, and I feel that sometimes he forgets how different I am from the person I was centuries ago. I used to be rather dark and wicked, more evil than good. Aro preferred me that way; he's under the impression that you're making me weak, but what he's forgotten is that I haven't been that vile creature that I was for a long time. As twisted as it is, Aro was trying to do what he thinks is best for me based upon his sense of morality…"

"You haven't forgiven him for what he did, have you?" Edward interrupted.

"No, I wouldn't say forgiven so much as excused," Demetri answered contemplatively.

"I will grant him a reprieve for none of it. What he did was absolutely foul, loathsome, egotistical…"

"I have a surprise for you when we get back to Volterra," Demetri stated, stopping the stream of insults flying from Edward's sharp tongue. Edward looked up at him and could not help but return the lovely smile he offered. He couldn't recall the last time anyone had surprised him with anything.

"Oh, really," Edward said smirking. "What is it?" Edward hoped that by asking the question it would spark a response in Demetri's thoughts, but the wall he'd built stayed firmly in place. Demetri's ponderings were surreptitiously turned towards knitting patterns. Edward guffawed loudly.

"I'm running out of witty things to think of. I had to just use the first thing that popped into my head," Demetri said in mock chagrin.

"Why would knitting patterns be the first random thought that entered your mind?" Edward asked, continuing to chortle.

"That is for me to know, and you to never find out. I am nothing if not a man of mystery," Demetri replied, quirking an eyebrow and jutting out his chin in an attempt to look haughty. The task was difficult considering his disheveled state. Edward couldn't help but raise a hand to Demetri's face, tracing the strong lines of his jaw and chin with his fingertips.

"Keep your secrets then," Edward said, his tone low and deep as the tips of his fingers had found themselves on Demetri's swollen, pink lips. Edward began running his thumb across the smoothness of Demetri's lower lip, and he darted his tongue out, effectively moistening Edward's digit. Edward's arousal began to present itself again, and he could not help but bring his index finger to Demetri's enticing mouth so that he may share his attentions with it, as well. Demetri accommodated him, grabbing Edward by the wrist, parting his lips, and inviting the tip of Edward's finger into his temperate mouth.

Demetri swirled his tongue around Edward's finger, suckling with the lightest of pressures, before nipping it with his teeth. Edward stared, his own mouth parted and his eyes hooded licentiously; he could not rip his eyes away from Demetri's shameless ministrations, enthralled when Demetri's tongue was visible as it laved his sensitive digit.

Their bodies were still flush against one another in the tub, and Edward could not ignore Demetri's growing enthusiasm and he began lightly swiveling his hips into Edward's. Demetri slid one of his hands in between them and grasped Edward's stiffening member, squeezing fiercely while he began pumping vigorously. Demetri released Edward's wrist and used his free hand to bring Edward down to his lips. Edward sighed into Demetri's mouth, methodically thrusting into his hand.

"Is this okay, Edward?" Demetri panted out breathlessly. Edward could not find his voice with which to speak, yet nodded profusely. The rapidly cooling bathwater began spilling over due to the erratic movements of two men but was ignored as they sought only to feel one another.

_I don't think I can ever bathe alone after this, _Demetri thought. Edward acknowledged the truth of the statement and agreed fully. The two men continued writhing against one another, desperately chasing their release.

Several hours later, once the two men were bathed, clothed, and sated, they made their way to the airport for the return trip to Volterra. Edward was not looking forward to the trip; the thought of being closed up with Aro again, especially in light of what he had done, was not at all appealing. He knew he would have to confront Aro at some point, and with his temper it would be sooner rather than later.

As before, when Demetri and Edward boarded the plane Aro, Sulpicia, and Renata were already seated. Aro was laughing about something as they entered, his demeanor cheerful. Edward glared at him, Aro meeting his eyes while his smile faded as he noticed Demetri and Edward's intertwined fingers. He quickly composed himself, forcing a cheery expression to replace the soured frown.

"Hello, Edward…Demetri," Aro greeted while his thoughts jumped about maddeningly. He was somewhat disappointed that his little push the previous evening had not succeeded in separating the two of them. Edward continued to glare and Demetri nodded, leading Edward to their seats to wait for take off.

_Edward, I know you're dying to say something to him, but now would not be the best time, _Demetri thought warningly. Edward did not look away from Aro, ignoring Demetri's internal request. He was aware Demetri usually knew best, but in this situation he felt it needed to be aired out. Aro had not only belittled Edward's feelings for Demetri, but had wounded Demetri and caused him heartache, leaving him to question his adequacy, and that was unpardonable.

"What about my relationship with Demetri do you find so reprehensible?" Edward spat out abruptly. Aro chuckled at him condescendingly.

"Has Demetri ever told you in depth of how he was when I first changed him?" Aro asked. Edward looked towards Demetri who was looking back at him, frowning. Edward shook his head.

"No. He's mentioned it," he answered. Aro took this as permission to continue.

"He was magnificent, deadly, and vicious. His lust for blood was virtually insatiable; he's probably slaughtered thousands of people, if not more," Aro merrily spoke, allowing Edward to see flashes of Demetri covered in blood, willfully murdering, and gluttonously feeding. Edward tried his best to push down the disgust. That was not _his _Demetri; he briefly wondered when he began thinking of Demetri as his. Had he himself not gone through a period of monstrosity? Edward drank from humans for a few years, even after having Carlisle's guidance; Demetri had not been given such a gift. Aro encouraged Demetri at every turn to be deplorable, and in Aro's warped musings he thought it only righteous to embrace the darker side.

"Aro, please," Demetri started once he noticed Edward's quiet contemplation.

"He asked me a question, Demetri, and I intend to answer it," he interrupted. "Edward, Demetri was so strong and skilled in those days. His power was unmatched and a thrill to watch manifest; words fail to describe how absolutely wondrous it was to behold. Pure power and venom all packaged and delivered with charming wit; he could have whoever he wanted. In fact, I'm surprised his charges didn't fall over themselves trying to get to him and beg him for death." Aro's eyes grew wide as his excitement over the memories grew.

"His skill is just as powerful now. You should know that; I've seen him at work..."

"But," Aro cut Edward off, "What will happen after he's been feeding from filth for a few more months? It will suck him dry, and he does it for you. He does it _only _for you. He has no aversion to taking human life. What happens when you tire of him? When you leave him as a weaker, sniveling, lovesick version of himself? You will leave someday, young man, and Demetri cannot go with you. His place is in Volterra." Aro's anger was clearly growing, and he was much more intimidating than Edward could've imagined. His eyes flashed maniacally, his mouth in a taut line as he narrowed his gaze.

It was the last statement that Aro made that kept repeating itself, _Demetri cannot go with you. _Edward's ponderings on his newfound contentment with Demetri had not even ventured that far, but they were being unwilling shoved upon him. Edward felt panic rising in his chest; he couldn't lose Demetri, even in ten or twenty years.

"Then I would just have to stay in Volterra with him," Edward blurted out. The thought had barely had time to formulate before it rushed past his lips, and he couldn't believe he had actually spoken it out loud. What Edward had started as a suicide mission had turned into some kind of eternal commitment, and he suddenly wanted to laugh at the enigma of it. But, why would he not want to spend his life with Demetri? Why should he not remain in the company of someone who made him want to live, and whom he was –now unapologetically—enamored with?

Demetri had taken a sharp intake of breath through his nose, and was now busy thinking of hanging sheets from a clothesline and watching them blow fluidly in a warm summer breeze. He was definitely running out of things to think about.

Aro's thoughts had done a complete turnabout and he was suddenly joyous. Edward remaining in Volterra was something he had not even considered when contemplating a budding relationship between the two. He had been so certain that Edward would merely drain Demetri of his spirit and leave, that he couldn't comprehend their relationship would overrule Edward's disgust for the Volturi Guard.

Aro replied to Edward's statement, "Well then, my boy, I'm thrilled to see the two of you working through the little slip from last night." His mouth had once again upturned into a glowing smile that was all genuine. "I'm sure Demetri having a cat or dog every now and again is acceptable…" He practically bounced in his seat.

Edward finally broke eye contact with Aro and chanced a glance at Demetri. He was looking at him with a sanguine, open expression that tugged mercilessly at Edward's heart.

"Do you mean it, Edward? I thought you hated the guard?" Demetri breathed in disbelief.

"I meant it. I lo- care about you more than I hate being a part of the guard," Edward answered, stumbling over his words. He could not blame Demetri's disbelief because he shared it with him; it seemed as though Edward truly learned something new about himself each day he had with Demetri; he wondered what he would unearth over the expanse of forever.

Edward once again took Demetri's hand, the tips of his fingers dancing across Demetri's palm, inspecting the intricate pattern he found there before entwining their fingers, effectively sealing his commitment to him with a kiss to his wrist. Demetri's mouth curled into a smile and he squeezed Edward's hand, returning the sentiment.

Felix and Chelsea arrived a few moments later, and they travelled back to Volterra.

Chelsea was expressive with her relief that the two men were okay. She had been worried that what happened would cause Edward to revert back to the broken creature he had been upon arrival in Volterra. The first thing she had done upon seeing Demetri and Edward with their hands clasped was to pull them both into a firm embrace, forcing them to rise from their seats. Felix –who was unaware of the events of the previous evening—was very crudely thinking, _Those two SO got it on. _Edward shook his head at Felix, sighing at his lewd thoughts.

Once they arrived back in Volterra, Aro bid them a good day, his mood so buoyant it was somewhat infectious. Edward was still incensed by Aro's actions, but there was nothing more he could do, and he was content that Aro would not longer attempt to separate him from Demetri.

Demetri excitedly led Edward back to his quarters referencing the 'surprise' he'd told Edward about as a reason. Edward's anticipation was growing, as well; he couldn't imagine what Demetri had done for him, and wondered what could possibly have Demetri practically giddy. He was not used to receiving gifts, but anything Demetri offered he would readily take.

The two men went to Demetri's quarters first. Edward followed him in expecting whatever Demetri had to give him would be hidden in his room, but Demetri simply sat down his bags and pulled Edward through the adjoining bathroom to his quarters. Demetri laughed when he looked at Edward, his confusion displayed plainly.

"What I have to give you is too big to move from my room to yours, so I had it placed in your study while we were gone," Demetri explained. Edward questionably looked at him, his eyebrows pulling together and his grin uncontainable.

"What did you do?" he asked, feeling thoroughly perplexed yet eager.

"Edward," Demetri started, taking both of Edward's hands in his. "More than anything I want you to be content here in Volterra. I want you to have some kind of peace amongst all these things that you struggle with. I know what a hardship it has been, but you need to know how proud I am of you. You are so much different than when you first arrived here, and I love being here to witness it; I love that you have allowed me to have a hand in it." Demetri released Edward's hands and they went to his cheeks.

"What I didn't foresee was the change you would make in me. I feel more capable of love, kindness, and companionship than I would have ever thought possible. It is strange that because you were completely broken, that I was able to be whole. I can only hope that I've been able to help you the way you have done for me," he finished. Edward had been holding Demetri's wrists and began running his hands up and down his forearms. He knew refraining from feeding from humans did create tighter relationships, as well as the ability to gain back some lost humanity.

"Drinking from animals does create a st—"

"I wouldn't attribute the majority of my feelings to hunting animals, Edward, because I felt something blossoming from the moment I saw you," Demetri interrupted, leaning in to Edward and placing his lips against Edward's forehead. Edward released Demetri's wrists and wrapped them around his middle, pulling him close. Demetri broke away with a chuckle.

"Do you want your surprise?" he asked, walking towards the door to Edward's study. Edward followed him, nodding. "Close your eyes!" Both men were chuckling, and Edward rolled his eyes before closing them. Demetri clasped Edward's hands after opening the door and led him through. Edward could feel Demetri practically vibrating in anticipation. He let Edward's hands drop, and Edward heard him close the door behind them.

"Okay, Edward," Demetri whispered. "Open your eyes." Edward left them closed a few moments longer, enjoying his own expectancy; it wasn't a feeling he experienced often, and he found it agreeable. Demetri chuckled, "Anytime now."

Edward slowly opened his eyes and saw dark reflective mahogany and aged ivory. His brain took a moment to analyze what his vision was communicating. An exquisite, antique, grand piano sat in the corner of his study; it was _his _piano, the piano his mother had bought for him in 1913. The look of it was different through his vampire sight, and it was obviously old, the once bright white keys yellowed somewhat with age. Demetri had obviously had it restored as it was polished and shining, stable and strong. Edward remained mute, his voice hidden from him.

Demetri walked over to the piano smiling, and pressed down on one of the keys, a single melodic note released into the atmosphere. Edward reveled in the sound, finding it perfectly in tune.

"How?" Edward breathed. "Is that really…mine?" Edward already knew the answer to that question.

"Yes, Edward, it's really yours. Do I have to remind you that I've a gift for tracking the untraceable?" Demetri replied, still standing by the piano, lightly tracing his fingers over the keys.

"But..how? When?" Edward asked again, still stupefied.

"That month after our first mission in Milan. You know, the one where you were avoiding me," Demetri snickered. "I found it, still in Chicago, in a junk shop. There were all sorts of bits and baubles stacked on top of it, and the poor, old thing was in awful condition. I had to have the strings and hammers replaced, but I left the keys," Demetri gestured towards the black and whites, "They were probably one of the last things my little human Edward touched," he said quietly.

Edward willed his legs to move, one foot in front of the other, until he found himself by the instrument. He experimentally pressed one of the keys, hearing the swift movement of the hammer as it struck the string. Edward sighed in gratification before sitting on the bench. He hadn't understood how much he had missed playing until his hands suddenly found themselves flying across the keys, smoothly playing warm-up chords. Months had passed since Edward had played but his muscles had not forgotten their adoration for it. He leaned in, inhaling deeply. The scent of the wood, ivory, and even the felt linings smelled like childhood, innocence, and humanity. Edward almost expected his mother to walk in behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders and giving them a squeeze, or his father to come home from work and commend him on a piece well played. Edward was overwhelmed and felt his eyes burn.

Demetri had done this for him. He knew what it would mean for Edward, and he had done it even while Edward avoided him, before even knowing that Edward would accept him as anything more than a friend or as anything at all. Demetri thought that Edward was worthy of life, love, and contentment. Edward stopped playing, but left his hands resting on the keys. He turned towards Demetri who still stood beside the piano.

"Thank you cannot even begin to… No one has ever done… You honestly, fully, and wholly _understand _me. You understand me even though I don't at all… Thank you, Demetri," Edward sputtered, struggling with communicating the weighty mass of his gratitude. Demetri played Edward as thoroughly as Edward could play his piano; he knew exactly when to push and when to back off, when to speak and when to remain silent. Demetri was Edward's match, and the idea had never been so clear to him. The idea of a contented eternity had finally transcended into life.

Demetri sat down next to Edward on the bench, the mood in the room heavy, until Demetri started plucking out chopsticks on the piano. Edward laughed and leaned into him.

"Do you know how to play anything else?" Edward asked.

"Only Heart and Soul," Demetri replied and started playing the melody, Edward gladly joining in. Edward wondered where Demetri would've learned such a song, but remembered Felix's obsession with American pop culture over the years.

The two men played a round or two, and Edward was having fun. Fun had been a luxury he had never afforded himself, but as he sat there, he wondered how anyone could live a life without it. Demetri abruptly began singing the lyrics, loudly and exaggeratedly.

"_Heart and Soul, I fell in love with you, Heart and Soul, the way a fool would do, madly!"_

Edward's fingers faltered on the keys as he was laughing so hard.

"Shhhh, E, I'm trying to sing," Demetri jokingly reprimanded as he continued.

"_Oh! but your lips were thrilling, much too thrilling, Never before were mine so strangely willing!"_

Edward and Demetri finished playing the round as Demetri concluded his 'performance'. Edward felt enlivened and jovial, treasured and taken care of.

"Play me something beautiful," Demetri asked after their laughter had died away. Edward obliged, scooting towards the middle of the bench. Demetri turned his body and placed his legs to the left of the bench, his back towards Edward, while he turned his head towards the keys to watch Edward's hands.

"I still cannot believe you did this," Edward shook his head incredulously. "It had to have been so much trouble."

"There is no trouble when it comes to you, Edward. I would give you all I have and more. You are worth it," Demetri said over his shoulder, pursing his lips.

Edward began playing Beethoven's Piano Sonata No. 8 "Pathetique". His fingers caressed the keys, the beginning slow and mournful. As the movements changed his hands danced and jumped across the ivories in a blur: the music light and joyous. Edward did not try to stop the delighted laugh that bubbled up from the place that mirth builds, and looked over towards Demetri, noticing his eyes were closed. Edward took it as an opportunity to consume him with his eyes.

Demetri was a beautiful man, high cheekbones and angular jaw. His brow set high, straight eyebrows and heavy, dark, full lashes. His nose was straight and proportionate to his face, his lips so full and wide and perfect. His frame was more filled out than Edward's, more man than boy, even though he was only twenty when changed. Edward's eyes travelled to his strong hands, wondering how they had looked calloused from countless toils as a sailor when he was human. How Edward would have loved to feel those rough palms against his, but he knew that the hands Demetri had now were immortal and much more durable and eternal. Edward did not want to be caught ogling Demetri, so his eyes returned to his instrument.

All of Edward's preconceived notions of love, marriage, and virtue evaporated as swiftly as the morning dew in summer. Edward wanted Demetri, and did not want to wait to have him any longer.

Edward's gaze shifted from his fingers on the keys to once again look at Demetri's closed eyes, and something was different. It was as though he was seeing things clearly for the first time, like when faced with an expanse of untouched earth that appears endless, or when presented with a blank parchment and given the opportunity to create something beautiful. The chance to witness something revolutionary does not often present itself, and Edward was seeing it now with Demetri by his side.

His eyes were opened, and his reluctance and unyielding restraint eroded away. It was slow in coming, like an ancient crevasse being formed by years and years of passive force, chiseling and carving its way unbeknownst to the subject: a change so subtle that is goes unnoticed until the revelation becomes clear, and an irrevocable metamorphosis has already taken hold.

Edward could no longer make excuses; no longer could he imagine a reason not to give everything to Demetri. The fear, guilt, and loathing that had been his trepidations previously had released their mammoth grip on him, and Edward could not pinpoint when that had happened. The universe had flipped and Edward was happy, contented, and alive. His self-worth was thrust before him in Demetri. If Edward was not worthy of love and contentment, then a man as compassionate and kind as Demetri would not so willingly give it.

He stopped playing and slowly reached out towards Demetri, tentatively ghosting his fingers across his high cheekbones before allowing them to disappear into his chestnut hair. Demetri leaned into the touch, his eyes still closed, and he exhaled slowly, his beautiful mouth trembling slightly.

"Demetri," Edward breathed out. Demetri slowly opened his eyes, turning his weathered gaze towards Edward. He did not speak, but merely looked at Edward, his face alight with bridled, hopeful passion that was begging to be freed. The look spoke volumes and Edward knew that Demetri had felt it, too: the shift, the change, the _reformation _that Edward had experienced.

Edward deserved to be loved, he knew that. He _was_ worthy. Eternity burst before Edward's opened eyes, and he _knew _that he had forever to have his joy, and have it he would. Immortality had never been as appealing as it was now that he could spend it with Demetri. Edward felt complete, unbroken, whole, and worthy. The thought repeated itself through his head methodically because the concept was so foreign to him, I_ deserve this. I am worthy of this…of him._

"Demetri," Edward repeated again. Demetri still did not acknowledge that Edward had spoken, but turned fully towards Edward and closed the inches that existed between the two men, placing his mouth against Edward's.

_Will you let me inside of you, Edward? _Demetri thought, the promise of his lips against Edward's and his straightforward request leaving Edward breathless. Edward knew that Demetri had more than one meaning, and he knew the answer was unquestionably yes.

Edward nodded minutely, his body trembling so slightly that it would be imperceptible to a human, but he knew Demetri could feel it. "Yes," he answered audibly, puckering his lips so that they touched Demetri's.

Demetri took Edward's hands in his, lightly entwining their fingers, their skin barely making contact. Edward ceased his trembling.

Demetri stood from the piano bench, walking behind Edward. He neatly took the lapels of Edward's jacket in his hands, removing the garment gently. He then unfastened the top button of Edward's shirt, knelt behind him, and placed his right hand under Edward's shirt and over his heart. His left hand wrapped around Edward's torso, pulling him backwards into his firm chest.

Edward felt warm breath in his hair, and he leaned back into Demetri, allowing him –as always—to keep him upright. They stayed that way for several moments in silence, until Edward brought his hand to cover Demetri's right.

"I love you, Edward," Demetri murmured into Edward's mess of bronze locks. The words were muffled, but Edward heard them –he felt them—clearly. Without warning, Demetri opened his mind to Edward, all the hidden thoughts flowing through. Edward felt as though he'd been through a torrent, and he was being given the chance to bask in the sunlight.

He heard Demetri's initial reaction after they had first met: mainly lust and pity. Edward chuckled. It was then followed quickly by a flowering fondness, evolving into protectiveness, to empathy, to compassion, to love. The thoughts and emotions played out like a symphony for Edward, all orchestrated in limitless devotion. Edward felt Demetri's agony of the previous evening when he was sure he'd lost Edward, he felt his elation when Edward voiced his feelings and willingness to stay in Volterra if it meant their being together. Edward heard the gratification Demetri felt upon seeing him surprised and taking joy from his gift.

Seeing himself through Demetri's thoughts was gut-wrenching in its intensity. The way that Demetri regarded him was mesmeric. The resplendent aura that surrounded Edward in all of Demetri's thoughts made him have to overview each one twice to even begin distinguishing himself. Beyond doubt, Edward knew that Demetri's love was true, because no one could falsify that kind of adoration. Edward saw himself _glowing _in Demetri's thoughts, brighter than any beacon that manifested when Demetri tracked.

"I didn't want to scare you away, Edward," Demetri stated, explaining the months of hidden thoughts. "You were overwrought enough. I did not want to be the one to make it worse. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Edward whispered. "I understand. Everything." Edward's chest felt full, in place, and pieced back together. Demetri had found every part of Edward's heart that had been lost, and now held it in the capable safe hold of his palm.

Demetri began drumming his fingers quickly over Edward's heart, fluttering noiselessly, making his heart beat. "My heart would pound for you were it able, _minha eternidade, minha alma, minha redenção,_" Demetri whispered. His lips had traveled from Edward's hair to his ear, his utterance teasing Edward's skin, causing his want to flare.

"My eternity, my soul, my redemption," Edward translated aloud and continued, speaking for himself, "I never wanted forever until I knew I wanted you. I love you, as well, Demetri." The words tumbled over his tongue tasting like the sweetest ambrosia, and rightness settled over the two men as quietly and gently as a spring mist.

Demetri rose to his feet pulling Edward with him, pushing the piano bench aside, and holding his body so closely that not even a breath of air could pass between them. Demetri removed his hands from Edward's shirt and torso, and began easily undoing the buttons of Edward's top. He smoothly removed the garment letting it slide forgotten to the floor.

Edward still faced away from Demetri, causing his anticipation to build, his skin ablaze while waiting on Demetri's touch. He finally brought his hands to Edward's bare back, his fingertips brushing devastatingly lightly across Edward's shoulder blades, teasing down his spine. Demetri's mouth finally joined his lithe fingers, following the path they had laid out, until Demetri was on his knees, kissing the small of Edward's back reverently. His tongue darted out, circling the dimpled indentations above Edward's buttocks, and Edward's breathing sped up noticeably.

Demetri stood back up, turning Edward to face him, bringing him to his chest. They stared at each other for long moments, their breath mingling, their connection building, before Edward could no longer withstand not being closer to Demetri, and he leaned in, claiming the lips that were to be his forever.

The kiss was different after their profession of love. It was lengthy and languorous, fervent yet calm. Edward wanted to transmit the all encompassing completeness that Demetri brought him through their coupling, because he knew he would never find the words to properly communicate it.

Demetri had pressed Edward's back into the piano and was methodically rolling his hips into him, causing a discordant melody to chime out quietly, while Demetri's hands roved over Edward's exposed torso.

Edward began grappling with Demetri's shirt, ripping it off when he could wait no longer to feel flesh against flesh. Still, once their chests were pressed together, it was not enough, and Edward began undoing Demetri's trousers, and he in turn began removing Edward's. Their mouths never parted as they stripped each other, afraid of the emptiness that would come with parting.

Demetri pressed Edward back further still, lifting him slightly so that he could lie on the piano top, and then crawling on top of him. The cacophony of the movement as Demetri's knees met the ivories caused both men to smirk, until their bodies were laid matched against one another, chest to chest, hip to hip, thigh to thigh, and the fury of passion threatened to reduce them both to ashes if not acted upon.

Edward's body ached and cried out for all the places Demetri's naked form did not meet his. Edward began clawing and tugging Demetri's body brutally against his own, their lips, tongues, and teeth thoughtlessly molding together, both of the men trying to get closer. Demetri's mouth left Edward's, finding its way to his collar bone, to his shoulder, and biting down forcefully. Edward moaned at the exquisitely paired pain and pleasure, and answered it by bringing his teeth down around the sensitive flesh of Demetri's throat. Demetri's venom flooded Edward's mouth, and he swallowed it down greedily, his eyes rolling back as the flavor enveloped his tongue. Edward felt Demetri hum against his shoulder, the vibrations moving Edward down to the very soles of his feet.

Their hips were grinding together, their arousals sliding against each other easily. Edward was torturously stiff; feeling Demetri's erection against his own was maddening. The delicious friction felt astonishing to him, but it was still not enough. Edward wanted to open himself up so that Demetri could be inside of him fully; he felt a place deep inside of him that needed to be filled, and until it was he would be left wanting and empty.

"I want you inside, Demetri," he panted out wantonly. "I can't stand it. _Please._" Edward continued bucking into Demetri, his body obeying nothing but the primal need that incinerated him. Demetri ceased his movements, releasing Edward's shoulder, and looked at him fully. Demetri brought his hand to Edward's brow and smoothed his hair away from his eyes so that he could peer into them. His eyes were full of hunger, need, longing, and affection.

"Are you sure, Edward?" Demetri asked earnestly. Edward knew that Demetri would halt everything, dress them both, forgo his own release if he requested it, which was one of the countless reasons Edward was positive he wanted Demetri to make love to him. The time for hesitation was through, and Edward nodded, once again crashing his lips to Demetri's. Edward was nervous, but he knew that the care Demetri gave him daily would carry over into their joining, allowing his fears to be pushed aside in favor of his longing.

Edward's chest was rising and falling rapidly with his panting, each breath delivering him closer to Demetri as he hitched up his leg, locking it around Demetri's waist. Demetri groaned provocatively, parting his lips, giving Edward the opportunity to thrust his tongue into his mouth, searching ferociously for that piquant, earthy flavor that was Demetri. His fingers were wound tightly in Demetri's hair, keeping his lips firmly in place. The dark, wild locks tickled and enticed Edward, their flowing softness a stark contrast to the solid body that writhed over him.

"Edward…mmmm…I want you so much," Demetri moaned against Edward's mouth. Edward wanted Demetri to claim him, take him, be a part of him.

"Then have me, _please, _have me. I…." Edward paused, gasping as one of Demetri's hands had reached between them and was fluidly stroking Edward's erection. "…God…I feel like I'll die, Demetri…I have to have you closer…so empty…" Edward muttered nonsensically.

Demetri brought his other hand to Edward's lips, which were already parted, and inserted two of his fingers into Edward's wet mouth. Edward sucked on them hungrily, enjoying the feel of Demetri's digits on his tongue. Edward continued to moisten Demetri's fingers, as his lips wandered over his chest, down Edward's sternum, encircling the fine dusting of bronze hair on his stomach, before placing a heated, breathy, open-mouthed kiss on the tip of Edward's needy stiffness. Edward pulsated, throbbed, and wept, his desire insurmountable.

Demetri laid himself down between Edward's legs and nudged his thighs apart gently. He took the fingers that had been wetted by Edward's venom and carefully circled them around Edward's entrance. Edward's hips bore down upon Demetri's hand, desperately trying to fill that growing, empty place inside of him, but Demetri released Edward's erection to still his hips.

"We have to do this slowly, Edward. I want you to enjoy this as much as I will," Demetri whispered before placing a kiss on Edward's hip. Edward understood, but all logic had escaped him once he had entered his impious state. He moaned, panted, and nodded, throwing his head back, bringing his knees up until the bottoms of his feet were flat against the piano, inviting Demetri into his body.

Once again, Demetri massaged the sensitive skin around Edward's opening before smoothly inserting one finger inside. The aching that Edward was experiencing eased minutely, but he needed more. Demetri inserted a second finger, scissoring them, stretching Edward to accommodate him. Demetri's fingers aptly found that sensitive bundle inside of Edward, massaging and sending ripples of bliss throughout Edward's body. Edward so intensely wanted to move his hips, and the rest of his body burned with the effort it took to remain still. Demetri's hot breath tantalized and teased Edward's turgid member as he inhaled and exhaled heavily.

"Now…I'm ready for you now," Edward nearly shouted, one moment longer and he was sure he would come apart.

Demetri removed his fingers and sat up, positioning himself at Edward's opening. "I love you, Edward," he whispered, as he smoothly began pushing past Edward's invitingly tight opening, sharing in Edward's body.

"And I, you," Edward panted, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to slow his breathing as Demetri progressed, moving towards sheathing himself completely within Edward. Demetri pressed his palm against Edward's knee, pushing his leg up and back in order to angle himself closer.

The moments were immeasurable, and the initial penetration seemed to take forever, but finally, Demetri was completely seated in Edward. Edward felt the heated flesh of Demetri's thighs against his buttocks as Demetri leaned forward to kiss Edward with languid adoration and realized passion.

"You okay?" Demetri asked. His face was scrunched up, his brow furrowed in concentration. The urge for him to move was overpowering, his thoughts screamed it. The discomfort that Edward had expected was gone in an instant, and it was nothing compared to the euphoria of having that aching void inside him filled at last. Edward clung to Demetri desperately, the only solid thing in his spinning world, and he moved his hips into him, urging him on.

"Move," Edward gasped, squeezing Demetri's hips with his thighs, locking his legs around Demetri's waist.

Demetri did move, but agonizingly slowly, leaving Edward whimpering at the loss of him. Demetri thrust forward, quicker than the time before. Edward met his thrust, rolling his hips upwards, groaning in fulfillment. They began meeting each other, thrust for thrust, moan for moan, and neither man could tell anymore where he stopped and the other began.

Demetri's pace was soothing and tranquil, his forearms were resting on either side of Edward's head, and their open mouths flush against one another, both trying to consume the other. Edward wanted to absorb every bit of Demetri he could, his venom, his breath, his flesh, his love. Demetri 's thoughts were the same as he brought his arms under Edward's head, pulling him as near as possible, hiding his face in the crook of Edward's neck, his mouth mindlessly nipping skin and muttering. Edward wrapped his arms around Demetri's torso, squeezing his unyielding form against his own. Demetri's movements had slowed and he methodically rolled his hips against Edward, unwilling to bear the separation from Edward that thrusting would bring.

_It's too much, _Demetri thought, continuing to roll his hips, pulling Edward impossibly closer. Demetri whimpered and hummed against Edward's skin; his devotion, love, adoration, and want for Edward overwhelming him paired with the intimacy they were experiencing. Edward brought Demetri's face up to meet his, showering kisses across Demetri's slightly flushed cheeks, erasing the furrows in his brow, filling his spirit.

"It's not enough," Edward panted, "I want you everywhere…nnnn…I love the way you feel." He moved his hips upwards again, beseeching Demetri to come with him to the line of sanity and bedlam and blur it out with their tumultuous coupling. Demetri obliged, and began thrusting with renewed vigor, their mouths once again a flurry of grappling lips.

Each snap of Demetri's hips caused a new kind of intensity to rise up in Edward. The ripples he had experienced from Demetri's fingers swelled into waves, he soared and tumbled with each meeting of hips and thighs. The fervid cadence of Demetri's body pounding against Edward's was quickly becoming unrestrained, and Edward mirrored each movement, begging, pleading, and imploring Demetri to get nearer to him.

Edward's most intense physical experience previously had been the change. It had burned him alive, seeming ceaseless and torturous. As Demetri moved inside of him, Edward knew that this was as pleasurable as that was painful, and even more so. Moans, gasps, and meaningless utterances tumbled from Edward's mouth, but he was too lascivious to be abashed anymore.

"Harder, _I need _it, Demetri…"

Demetri broke away from Edward's mouth and sat on his haunches, his pace never faltering, pulling Edward's hips into his lap, his legs still firmly gripping Demetri's waist. He hooked his left arm under Edward's right leg and used the new angle to push himself further inside of Edward. He bucked into him relentlessly, and Edward cried out as Demetri hit the sensitive bundle in him repeatedly.

"Oh…._god…_Edward you're _so…nnnn…" _Demetri went faster still, and Edward pulled him in, holding him, still urging him to go faster and harder. Demetri took Edward's erection in his large hand and began pumping him in time with each movement of his hips.

Edward could not last any longer, the rising pressure inside of him was on the verge of overflowing as Demetri's hand moved faster with each stroke. But he knew that when he found his release he wanted to feel Demetri's hot, smooth, strong flesh against his, and though the position Demetri had him in felt wonderful, he would not have that contact he craved.

"Come back," Edward said, grasping at Demetri's arms pulling him back to their previous position. Demetri kept his torso slightly back from Edward so that he could continue to stroke Edward, ensuring his release. Edward felt his orgasm building to a higher point than he ever could have conceived, and he felt it beginning at the tips of his fingers and toes moving inward, coiling in his stomach. Demetri's impending release was close, as well, his moans gaining in intensity and volume.

Edward was dying and being born, running in place, flying away. His ardor rose higher and higher, impossibly reaching, stretching, trying, struggling to the top. Demetri's breaths came out in ragged pants as he leaned down, sucking Edward's lower lip between his and biting down. Edward groaned, the tiny pressure giving him what he needed to find the edge and leap off of it.

"Demetri, I'm going to….._ooooh…nnnn…" _Edward paused, taking a sharp intake of breath as he fell, tumbled, soared, and was swept away, "_Demetri…god,"_ he shouted out, writhing and moaning as Demetri continued to empty his erection, his release cool and sticky over his heated flesh.

The sensations from Edward's orgasm pulled Demetri over, as well. Edward clenched around him as Demetri muttered out his name repeatedly, releasing himself buried deep within Edward.

Demetri released Edward and brought both hands to Edward's face, giving him a sweet, chaste kiss upon his swollen lips. Edward sighed contentedly, never having felt so loved by another person, never having felt so satisfied.

"Ready for another?" Demetri panted, a charming smirk growing on his face. Edward returned it with his own devilish smile.

"You know, I think I am," he laughed.

**End notes: Let me know what you thought about it! Is it passable? Left wanting? Thanks again for reading! I heart you guys. : )**


	10. Wolf at the Door

**Author's note: Sorry once again for the update fail. Real life has been bogging me down, and I've had some difficulties getting the motivation to write. Good news is, things are getting back to normal and I should get back on a weekly posting schedule again. Thanks for your patience with me! Oh, I had a question about my banner...Jess, that's Henry Cavill as Demetri; S. Meyer might've wanted him for Edward but he makes a lovely Demetri! Thanks, KG, for not letting me give up :)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own these characters. S. Meyer does. I get nothing for this but your lovely comments and my own enjoyment.**

* * *

The two men spent countless hours languorously exploring each other's bodies, reveling in the new physical intimacy and admitted love. Somehow, they had wound up on the floor in the corner of Edward's study, lying under his piano. They lay intertwined, a tangle of limbs, whispering and stealing touches.

"How have I managed to get through life before all this?" Edward asked, laughing at himself. Demetri's head lay on his chest, his palms soothingly rubbing circles across Edward's bare stomach. Edward had one hand in Demetri's hair, his other one behind his head where it rested on the floor.

"That is an extraordinarily good question, Edward. I have no idea," Demetri concluded, chuckling warmly, expelling a burst of heated breath across Edward's chest.

Edward loved the thought of counting each day of eternity by the tiny things about Demetri that he adored: affectionate touches, knowing smirks, his scent, passion filled kisses, strong hands, and…other parts. It was those other parts that Edward had on his mind, still somewhat disbelieving the way he allowed Demetri to completely have him. Any lingering questions about his sexuality were definitely answered, because he could not imagine anything as mind-blowing as the way it felt being with Demetri physically.

Edward's eyes turned above him, looking at the underside of his piano. Something caught his eye slightly below him and to the right, so he scooted himself and Demetri so he could inspect it closer. He reached his hand out tentatively, running his fingertips over a blemished portion in the wood under the keyboard. He traced out the letters several times trying to recall a long forgotten memory.

"What is it, Edward?" Demetri asked curiously, looking towards Edward's hand.

"It's my initials," Edward said, still trying to remember. He continued to trace out, _E.A.M 1913, _when a memory slowly revealed itself. "I got in so much trouble for this. Mother was running an errand, and she came home while I was finishing up. See how the three is only half done?" Edward chuckled, enjoying the memory of his mother's ire, still tracing the lines of his name as though they could transport him back there.

"What was your name then?" Demetri asked, returning his head to Edward's chest and pressing his lips to Edward's pectoral.

"Edward Anthony Masen," he answered quietly, finally bringing his hand down and returning it to Demetri's hair.

"Edward Cullen and Edward Masen are very different people," Demetri paused, his palm travelling down Edward's stomach and massaging his thigh, "but it's good to remember him, seeing as how he is your foundation." Edward nodded his agreement, realizing Demetri could not see him but not really caring, because Demetri's hands were causing his thoughts to turn to other things.

"I love you," Edward murmured pressing his lips into Demetri's hair as his hands began ghosting over Demetri's back.

"It's so good to hear those words from you, Edward. When you and I first met, it was like something in me knew you, even though I'd never seen you before in my life, but I didn't expect to ever be with you like this," Demetri whispered, looking up at Edward, extending his neck so that he could touch his lips to Edward's. The kiss was close-mouthed and soft, loving and earnest.

Edward felt Demetri's lips turn up into a mischievous smirk as they left Edward's mouth, moving downward. "Mmm…I love you, too," Demetri hummed, still smiling, but against Edward's ribs, tickling and teasing. Edward was, once again, caught up in the lust filled cloud that Demetri emanated, and allowed himself to be enclosed by it.

The next two weeks flew by with Demetri and Edward rarely seeing the sun or moon. They left to hunt once or twice –finding a lovely new way to play hide and seek--, and Edward was fairly certain that at one point he'd read a chapter of a book, but outside of that, the pair's need to be physically connected could not be abated. They were approaching mid June, and Edward had been in the guard a little over three months.

Edward was beginning to have a paranoid sense of foreboding; things were going so well for him, and it had been nearly two months since the mission to London that had gone so horribly. The time he'd spent with Demetri in recent weeks had been like a page out of the perfect story, or a frame from a movie with a neatly wrapped happily ever after, and he couldn't help but constantly look over his shoulder for that wolf waiting to pounce.

Finally, it did.

Demetri and Edward had actually ventured outside of their quarters into the sun-filled courtyard. Being summer time, the sun was shining bright and warm directly above them. Edward was enjoying watching Demetri recline back and absorb the warmth, seeing the rays reflect off of him causing all the different colors of the spectrum to be thrown across the green glass and bounce off the water in the fountain. When Demetri turned his butterscotch eyes on Edward his heart swelled and his want implored him to take Demetri back indoors, their bright glow a constant reminder of what Demetri sacrificed for him.

He heard Aro's internal voice call out to him from underground, _Edward I need to speak with you, and bring Demetri, please._

Edward groaned out loud, wondering what type of mercenary work he would doing this time around. He tried to swallow down the panic that was building; he knew that no matter what Aro might request of him, that Demetri would be solidly at his side. He could endure anything when he had that.

"Aro?" Demetri questioned, guessing where Edward's discomfiture was coming from.

"Yes, he wants to see us," Edward said, looking at Demetri worriedly.

"We'll be fine, Edward," Demetri reached out to pull Edward to him, "You can handle it. You and your impossible set of morals," he half-chuckled, squeezing Edward tightly. Demetri broke away and rose to his feet, bringing Edward with him. He lightly entwined their fingers and began walking, tugging Edward behind him.

Demetri noticed Edward's slow pace and tugged him a little more adamantly. "Walking slower will not make the task any less oppressive, E. Let's get it over with."

"I know," Edward agreed. "I've just had a troublesome feeling lately. I fear everything will be taken from me… that _you _will be taken from me." Edward grasped Demetri's fingers tighter.

"Edward, you can't get rid of me!" Demetri chortled loudly. "I won't say that it's not a fear I share with you though. The one other time I thought I was in love didn't end so well, but you won't catch me making those mistakes again." Demetri flashed Edward his perfect teeth before pulling him underground towards Aro's rooms.

"He's not with the others?" Edward asked when he realized Demetri was leading him to Aro's private quarters instead of the throne room with the other Volturi.

"No, not this time," Demetri shrugged and continued walking. The pair walked for several moments in silence before reaching their destination, deep underneath the streets of Volterra.

Demetri politely tapped his knuckles against Aro's large wooden door, and Aro bade them enter. Edward did so cautiously, trying to get a reading on Aro's thoughts, but they divulged nothing of importance.

"Ah Demetri, Edward!" Aro exclaimed, gesturing the two men in. The only others in the room were Renata, Felix, and Jane. Edward did not like where it was leading immediately. "You two boys have certainly been hiding quite a bit recently; whatever could you have been up to?" Aro's eyes flickered back and forth between Edward and Demetri, scarcely containing his humor.

"Simply being a bit lazy, Aro, nothing of consequence," Demetri answered for them both, knowing the question would be making Edward uncomfortable.

"Oh, lovely, we could all use a bit of relaxation from time to time. I'm glad to hear it, young man. Anyway, we must get down to business," Aro stated, dismissing the subject of Demetri and Edward with a wave.

"I had hoped this situation would right itself, but I have let it go on far too long as it is," Aro started, lowering his voice and looking pointedly at Edward. "There are some rather nasty murders taking place in the states --Seattle, Washington to be more specific. You're very familiar with the area, correct, Edward?" Edward stared at him a moment. He did not want to go back there. He _could _not go back there. Demetri placed a comforting hand on Edward's lower back, and he somehow found his voice.

"Yes, I am quite familiar with that area." Edward already knew he had no say at all, and he knew that he was undoubtedly going back to Washington. "What are the exact circumstances?"

"The murders in the area have been reported since early May, but we have reason to believe they started in April. They had gone to double digits by mid may, and the number only continues to rise. It has to be several newborns. We would like to avoid anything reminiscent of what happened in the southern states all those years ago." _Two months? _Edward thought incredulously. How could Aro have left people to be slaughtered for that long? "I know it seems long to you, but I wanted to avoid interceding; Demetri informed me –after my asking, of course—that Carlisle is actually in Forks again, and, well, I didn't know if… Regardless, I didn't want to become involved if it was something he was handling."

Edward shifted his glare to Demetri, wondering why he wouldn't have shared that bit of information with him. He felt a flash of anger at being placated and kept in the dark. He thought it over quickly, and realized it would have done him no good to have the information, only caused him more fret, but still he would've liked to have known.

"Sorry, E, I didn't want to bother you unnecessarily. Believe me, I would have told you if it seemed worrisome," Demetri whispered while leaning into Edward. Edward did not reply.

"No matter… It needs to be handled. If by chance you do encounter any members of your family Edward, I still fully expect you to return here. Understood?" Aro stated, his tone serious like a chiding father.

"Of course, Aro, you already know my decisions," Edward replied, smiling sweetly.

"Oh, young man, I know it is difficult to be separated from them, but you must remember what is here!" Aro gleefully replied, looking pointedly at Demetri.

Edward was abruptly reminded that his family would have no clue about Demetri, and he hadn't even begun formulating how he would tell them about his relationship with the man. He had anticipated having plenty of time to prepare himself for their eventual meeting, but it could be much closer than he originally anticipated. He loved him, of course, and wanted to tell his family, but he couldn't help but think of the uncouth comments that Emmett and sometimes Jasper made at his expense regarding his sexuality. How would they behave when proven right? Alice obviously knew and accepted it, but would she have told the rest?

Edward tried to reason with himself, he probably wouldn't even see them, but being so close should he not seek them out? Shouldn't he want to connect with his family that loved and accepted him? It was the acceptance portion that caused him to wonder; he had run away from them, and was now carrying on a relationship with a man. Each member of his family had come from eras where same sex relationships were taboo, but he recalled his previous conversation with Demetri about Carlisle's acceptance and Alice's obvious approval, surely the rest would follow suit.

He was already feeling the guilt rise in him like bile, thinking of how he left them so abruptly, thinking of _why _he left them so abruptly. He had not felt the guilt over Bella's death so sharply in weeks, and now it was thrust to the forefront of his mind. A wave of sorrow twisted in his stomach like a knife, and he suddenly could feel nothing else. He concentrated on controlling his breathing, but was failing, his nostrils flared. He tried to fight it down, tried to tell himself numerous times that it wasn't his fault, but he felt himself beginning to spiral again. Abruptly, he felt a smooth palm and fingers inextricably melding with his own, and he looked up at Demetri. He shook his head at Edward almost imperceptibly, and the corner of his mouth curled up in a knowing smile.

As quickly as he'd gotten himself agitated he calmed down, Demetri's solid hold keeping him grounded.

"I remember," Edward finally replied to Aro, returning Demetri's smile.

Aro clapped his hands together and grinned uncontrollably. "Ah, young love brings forth such endearing qualities; it suits you two boys well. I remember when Sulpicia and I first found one another," he paused, getting a faraway look in his eyes, "we couldn't keep out hands off of each other for nearly five hundred years! I still find it difficult, mind you." Edward suddenly wanted to scour out his brain; the memories that Aro was recalling were something that he could have gone eternity without seeing. Aro shook his head, providing Edward with a much appreciated change in conversation.

"Alright, Demetri, Edward, Jane, and Felix, go prepare yourselves to leave. You will depart this evening and be in Seattle early tomorrow morning. Be careful, everyone."

"Why doesn't Chelsea go with us?" Edward asked Demetri.

"She actually rarely leaves. Aro generally likes to keep her handy here; she keeps all the members of the guard -- and the Volturi themselves-- loyal." Demetri gestured for Edward to lead them from the room. Once in the hallway Demetri added, "I have a sneaking suspicion that Aro knew we would be needing her in London. I think he knew more than he let on about what was happening." Edward sneered in response.

He was a bit saddened that Chelsea would not be accompanying them; if he was to encounter his family he would very much have liked to introduce her to them.

"I could do without Jane going," Edward muttered, hoping this mission did not bring her hellish power down upon him again.

"Get used to it, E, she goes on every mission like this. It's unfortunate that she is so temperamental, but her ability is an asset we cannot afford to squander," Demetri retorted. "I won't allow her to harm you the way she did last time again. For some reason she is _fond_ of me; it's quite disturbing, but I'm afraid she will resent you quite a bit for your place with me."

"I am capable of watching out for myself, thank you," Edward stated tersely, once again being made aware of Demetri's over protective tendencies. Demetri looked down at his feet.

"I apologize. I realize you resent my coddling; I'll try to stop, but, please, understand that if you are not well, then neither am I." Demetri stopped walking and brought his lips to Edward's ear and whispered, "I don't know if you've noticed, Edward, but I'm a little crazy about you."

Edward couldn't help but turn his head to capture Demetri's lips in a brief kiss before chuckling, "How could I have missed it?" He couldn't remain angry with Demetri when he so honestly stated his reasoning. "But, don't forget that I am not so easily breakable."

"How could I forget?" Demetri purred seductively, wagging his eyebrows. Edward let out a burst of raucous laughter at Demetri's comment and shoved him playfully.

"You're impossible," Edward admonished. "Let's get ready to leave, and this time I'll pack for you. You're much too European for the states." Demetri made an indignant sound, but indicated his agreement, following Edward to their rooms.

They packed, travelled to the airport and boarded the jet without any event to speak of, Edward's anxiety returning a bit as the plane took off.

"Do you have any idea why Carlisle would've returned to Forks?" Demetri asked Edward once they were in the air.

"My family enjoyed Forks; it was only at my request that we all left. Since Bella is…gone, there would be no reason for them to avoid it anymore. I assume they moved back after I left for Volterra."

"Would you think they're at all involved with what is happening in Seattle? Surely they know what's going on."

"I can't think of a reason they would be tied up in it. I don't see them just sitting aside while so many humans are murdered either, but Carlisle has always tried to remain as impartial as possible. We'll see," Edward finished, beginning to look forward to the possibility of being reunited –however briefly—with his family. He still feared their reaction somewhat, not to mention his own reaction to the familiar surroundings.

Demetri nodded, sliding his arm behind Edward and around his waist. "This will all work out, Edward. Don't stress yourself over it. I'm sure they're fine; we'll handle this and be back to Volterra in no time."

"Of course," Edward replied, giving Demetri a tight-lipped smile.

He brought his hand to the back of Demetri's neck, pulling his face to his, and pressed his mouth against Demetri's softly. Edward became overwhelmed unexpectedly with need for Demetri, and he deepened the kiss. He heard Jane scoff mentally, and Felix shouting at them to get a room, but he was phased by none of it. The cold sense of dread that had been building in Edward was bubbling over, and he felt almost panicked by his desire for physical comfort from Demetri, feeling as though he might inadvertently lose him.

Edward desperately tried to hold Demetri tighter, but it was difficult with the way the seats were positioned on the jet. He put his hands inside Demetri's jacket and underneath his shirt, feeling the flawless muscle and sinew of Demetri's torso.

He briefly broke away from Demetri's mouth. "Will you come with me to the bathroom?" Edward whispered quickly and quietly, his gaze frantic. Demetri smiled at him endearingly.

_What's wrong with you, Edward? _he thought, while Edward once again caused their mouths to collide.

"Nothing," Edward paused, panting, "I want you. Is that so different from any other day?"

_No, but you are generally not apt to public displays of affection._

"Are you saying no?" Edward quipped, quirking an eyebrow.

"Not in the least," he smirked suggestively. "Lead the way. It should be rather clean seeing as how it's never been used… well, for its intended purpose anyway."

Edward smoothly rose to his feet, tugging Demetri behind him.

"Mile high club here they come!" Felix snickered as they walked by, holding out his hand for a high five. Edward just rolled his eyes.

"Shut it, Felix," Demetri ordered, slapping away the proffered hand.

Edward jerked Demetri into the bathroom forcefully; the door barely had a chance to close before he pressed him against the closest wall, attacking his mouth and throat. His fingers began searching to grasp Demetri wherever he could, insistently seeking possession of the man in front of him. Edward's hands shook as he frantically began trying to undress him.

Demetri clasped Edward's hands effectively stilling them and looked at him quizzically. "What's going on? Honestly this time."

"Nothing! Why does something have to be wrong for me to be aggressive, Demetri? I'm not some meek little wallflower that needs to be guided and placated constantly. I'm a self-sufficient man, and if I want to throw myself at you I will," Edward asserted, allowing his discontent to manifest as anger at Demetri. Demetri held up in hands in surrender.

"Of course, E, and believe me I don't mind a bit if you want to ravish me," Demetri chortled before continuing, "but your hands are shaking." He squeezed Edward's palms, which were still trembling slightly, to illustrate his point. Edward pursed his lips and took a deep breath.

"I'm nervous."

"About?"

"About what will happen when we get to Washington. About my family…and you, and how it will make me feel.

"Honestly, any mission we go on from here on forward will cause me to be an absolute wreck. I'm constantly going to worry over you. I know you feel the same… I simply cannot shake that ominous feeling I've been having," Edward conceded.

"Edward, I will do anything to make sure we remain together for as long as you want me, but we can't worry over each other constantly. I know I've made a poor example of that, and I apologize. You must love what you have when you have it. That's all there is to it. I would do well to remember that myself, wouldn't I?" he finished, bringing his arms around Edward and pulling him close.

"Promise me you'll be safe?" Edward pleaded, mumbling against Demetri's shoulder.

"As long as you'll do the same for me," he replied, covering Edward's lips with his own. "Now, back to what we came in here for…"

Demetri dropped to his knees in front of Edward and began unbuckling his belt. He looked up at Edward with curled lips, pink tongue peeking out from between them, and an impish gleam in his golden eyes.

Edward chuckled until Demetri's warm mouth surrounded him in the most intimate of places, and he gasped raggedly, his hands weaving themselves through Demetri's dark hair.

When the two men emerged from the bathroom quite some time later, Jane turned to look at the both of them with disgust.

"Was that really necessary?" she requested bitterly.

"Jane, just because you never got to go through puberty doesn't mean other people don't have urges that need fulfilled. Right guys?" Felix stated. Jane's thoughts flashed angrily, as she contemplated using her power on him.

"Don't try it, Jane," Edward chided, clearly reading her intentions. Jane narrowed her eyes at Edward and smirked slightly.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Jane replied angelically. Edward returned her glare just as menacingly.

"Jane!" Demetri shouted. "I won't watch you repeat your ill manners of the last trip on this one. Why have you been behaving so badly?"

"I don't like change," she replied tersely, nodding towards Edward.

"That's ridiculous. You're hundreds of years old; surely change is something you should be more than used to," Demetri stated. Jane rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, remaining quiet.

Demetri looked towards Edward who was still glaring at Jane and nudged him slightly.

"Hey," Demetri said, attempting to get Edward's attention. "I love you." Edward finally moved his eyes from Jane back to Demetri.

"I love you, too," he affirmed. Jane made a gagging sound, causing everyone to snicker but her.

The remainder of the flight was spent in silence, and they arrived in Seattle several hours before sunrise. Demetri didn't want to waste time checking into their hotel yet, so they loaded their luggage into the cars that were provided for them and made their way to the most recent crime scene. Demetri and Edward were in a small maroon sedan, nothing too fancy, while Felix drove Jane in a similar vehicle of a different shade.

They found what they were looking for swiftly. The most recent crime scene was a high school. Classes had let out for the summer, so there were no humans to deal with. Demetri exited the vehicle and walked around to the back of the building, the scent of fresh blood still prevalent in the air. Within a matter of seconds of rounding the building, Demetri blocked his thoughts and said, "I want to go to another crime scene. I need to know something."

"What?" Edward asked emphatically.

"It's probably nothing, but I want to be sure," Demetri muttered, scratching his chin and getting back in the car. Felix and Jane had just exited their car, and Edward waved them back in.

They travelled to the next scene --an old greasy spoon-- and Demetri followed the exact same steps he had at the high school. He walked around the crime scene a few seconds and then requested to go to another place, all the while blocking his thoughts. Edward was beginning to grow irritated, but attempted to keep it to himself. The next five locations Demetri did the same thing, and finally, Edward couldn't maintain his silence, his patience severely worn thin.

"What?! What are you doing, Demetri? Are you going to tell the rest of us what's going on here?" Edward beseeched grumpily. The four vampires stood outside of an abandoned building that appeared to have once been a night club, Demetri pacing and nervously running his hands through his hair.

"I want to be sure, E."

"You've stated that plenty of times; I want to know what it is you want to be sure of. I'm sure Felix and Jane are losing tolerance, as well." Demetri stopped pacing and observed the three irritated vampires with an imploring expression. Edward would not allow Demetri to go any further without some kind of explanation. Edward gesticulated impatiently. Demetri finally nodded his concession.

"From what I can tell, each of these crimes were committed by a different newborn," Edward's eyes grew wide as Demetri paused, pinching the bridge of his nose, "and we've been to seven different places, so that's at least seven brand new vampires running feral. I'm almost certain that there are more. I'm sure if we went to the other crimes scenes I would get a separate newborn from them, as well, some even multiples. It looks as though we have a newborn army on our hands. I would guess…fifteen to twenty."

Recognition flashed across Felix and Jane's faces –they would obviously remember the vampire wars in the south. Jane looked murderous, Felix excited and looking forward to a brawl, but Demetri looked too worried for the only problem to be a group of newborns. Jane could easily throw her power at the majority of them, dispatching them with ease. No, Edward knew there was something he had yet to divulge.

"What else?" Edward asked, his bad feeling becoming heavier than Demetri's silence.

_They're headed straight for Forks, Edward. There's no way we can get there before them, _Demetri thought loudly, his stare boring into Edward.

"But why?" Edward asked aloud, knowing that Demetri did not have that answer. Demetri shook his head back and forth.

"Your guess is probably better than mine. Would they for any reason attack your family?" Demetri speculated.

"I can't think of any reason at all." Edward felt panic flooding his system. Alice would be aware they were coming. They would have to know; they would be prepared.

"Why the hell have we been running around here instead of going there?" Edward barked angrily. He knew Demetri's reasoning and the question didn't really need to be voiced, but he was growing more and more irritated at being kept unaware about several tidbits; especially when those he loved were at risk.

"I wanted to be sure," Demetri repeated for the third time. Edward exploded, rage tingling from the base of his spine.

"We just talked about this. You said you would stop coddling me-"

"This isn't just about you, E. I have to watch out for all of us, and I won't lead us _anywhere_ until_ I'm sure_. Understand?" Demetri informed quietly yet forcefully.

"This is _my _family we're talking about, and it _is _about them," Edward said, his voice low and impassioned. "They're all I have." Edward became conscious of his error before his sentence was even finished, but he was too infuriated to watch his tongue. Demetri flinched as though Edward had punched him.

"Well, Edward," Demetri started, swallowing audibly, "you're lucky, because most of us have no one," he finished, his eyebrows pulling together as he shifted his gaze away from Edward.

"Dem-"

"Let's go everyone. We need to get to Forks rapidly," Demetri interrupted, still refusing to look at Edward. "Jane ride with me. Edward should drive the other car since he knows where we're headed."

"I can drive while you ride with me, Demetri, and Felix and Jane can follow as we have be—"

"Edward you drive the other car and Felix will ride with you," Demetri repeatedly fiercely. Jane's thoughts were smug and her expression matched them. Edward had no choice but to comply, so he grudgingly got behind the driver seat in the other car and Felix slid in on the passenger side.

The car swayed as Felix settled into his seat getting comfortable. Edward started the vehicle and looked over at Felix who was staring at him and shaking his head, the corners of his mouth turned down in a frown.

"That was a pretty fucking stupid thing for you to say," Felix stated seriously, nodding his head and wholeheartedly agreeing with himself.

"I know," Edward admitted gruffly. He pulled the car into the street following Demetri, his thoughts flowing freely.

…_should've known better…why did I let myself think things were _real_?...love what you have when you have it, he knows that all too well…love what's _convenient _is more like it…Aro was right…I cannot believe he's been lying to me this whole time…he told me he loved me and I believed him…_

"Edward," Felix blurted, breaking the ongoing stream of thoughts flowing from Demetri, "Demetri never really messes with anybody more than once. He's a private guy, who doesn't really like being, you know, intimate? I don't mean intimate like fucking, he's always done that plenty," Edward blanched at Felix's bluntness, "but actually sharing himself with anybody –more than physically—well he's been withdrawn on that front." Felix lowered his voice into an almost animalistic growl, "You'd better fix it." He reached out towards on the knobs on the console. "Do you mind if I listen to the radio?"

Edward barely glanced at Felix and nodded; he was completely centered on Demetri's mind. His musings were crestfallen, defeated, dejected, and hopeless. Edward ached for him, missing him in the few moments they had spent apart. The space between his car and Demetri's seemed limitless, dark and deep because of his brash, thoughtless utterance. It seemed that no matter how far Edward progressed, he could undo all the good with a few short, cruel words.

…_never mean so much to him as she did…even the memory of her surpasses me…he doesn't even count me among those that matter…was everything a lie?...would he really stay in Volterra with me?...that was probably just to appease Aro…I'm such a fool…but I can't not love him, it's an impossibility…_

Thoughts turning to Bella, Edward contemplated his emotions towards her in comparison with Demetri. With Demetri, Edward had never felt so aware of himself physically; he knew that Demetri had awakened something in him that had lain dormant from the time he was human, and since he had been virtually insatiable. Demetri had become _everything _to Edward: a sounding board, counselor, friend, confidant, and lover.

But, if not for Bella, Edward would never have even allowed himself a romantic relationship with another. She had broken through Edward's carefully constructed emotional barrier and decimated it, just as surely as Demetri had broken through his physical one. Edward had loved her, and so much so that he hadn't thought he could possibly survive without her.

Why did Edward love Bella? She had been attractive, warm, caring, brave, compassionate, and inexplicably silent to him. The way he regarded the two of them was as separate as the ocean and land, or like comparing butterflies to lions. Because of Bella he was able to meet Demetri; if not for her death, he would still be isolated in a maelstrom of depression, grief, and longing. Which one trumps the other? Bella was a catalyst; Demetri was a solution to a question he'd never known he'd asked.

Demetri was what he needed, wanted, and desired. Cursing himself internally, Edward knew that Felix was right. He refused to lose anyone else because of his petty self-absorption. Promising that he would never give Demetri another reason to doubt, Edward willed the vehicle faster, his new focus on Demetri instead of his family because he _was _the most valuable part of his life.

The journey passed in quiet except for the low music on the radio. Felix was thankfully silent, staring out his window and bobbing his head to a few songs, allowing Edward to think and listen to Demetri. Finally, they made it to Forks.

Demetri pulled off the road, parking his car where it would be partially hidden from the road and Edward followed. They were several miles outside of town; evidently they would be doing some hiking.

"We'll have to run from here," Demetri stated, looking into the trees. Edward was desperately trying to catch his eye, but Demetri surreptitiously kept his gaze away. The urge to wrap Demetri in his arms and compel him to look at him was difficult to pay no heed to.

"This is close to where I used to live. I know this area extremely well," Edward offered, walking towards Demetri and placing his hand on his forearm.

"I know exactly where we need to go. I don't require any assistance," Demetri answered, frowning, rubbing the back of his neck and shrugging off Edward's hand before leading the way into the woods. The others followed closely behind.

Demetri didn't allow Edward the chance to speak with him. They were all running so swiftly that a conversation would be impossible. Trying to remain calm, Edward focused on finishing this task and ensuring those he loved were safe, including Demetri. Any rift between the two of them was not irreparable, and he _would _have the chance to correct his ghastly error.

These woods were glaringly familiar to him, the mossy, damp surroundings and familiar scents of the forest causing Edward to recall memories he would prefer to overlook. He recognized that they were approaching the clearing that he and his family used to play baseball on several occasions, and once they were within a few miles of it, he began to hear familiar thoughts.

_Edward will be here soon…_

_Man, that was AWESOME…too bad about the kid…_

_I have to leave. I don't think there's anything I can do to help him though. Our venom is fatal to the wolves…Please ask them not to kill the one that surrendered…_

_Wolves? _Edward thought. What had happened?

_I can hardly wait to see Edward another second. I have missed him so…_

_Stupid human, always causing trouble…_

_I have got to get all these bodies burning before they show. I hope this young one can control herself. I doubt they will spare her…_

Edward was thoroughly confused. From what he was hearing, it sounded like each member of his family was alive and well, causing relief to fill him. It appeared as though they had defeated the newborns with the assistance of the…Quileutes? Edward couldn't comprehend how or why that would've come about. Carlisle had been under the impression that the gene that caused the Native Americans to phase into wolves had died out. The treaty that had been made all those years ago had them under a somewhat amicable agreement, but actually tolerating each other enough to work together? How on earth did his family convince them?

Edward was anxious to have all his questions answered and sped up. Abruptly the wind shifted directions, and an achingly familiar scent hung on the breeze, fresh and practically alive. His mouth filled with venom, and he had to swallow twice. Stopping his feet, Edward inhaled deeply. The others were far in front before they realized he'd halted.

The scent was overtly floral with the dominating perfume of freesia, a smell that caused him both pain and pleasure, an aroma he could never mistake.

Demetri had made his way back to Edward as the others were still well in front. "Did you hear something, E?" Demetri asked, his tone very businesslike. Edward stared at him blankly, unable to respond.

"Bella," Edward eventually murmured, the name resonating in his throat, choking him leisurely.

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**End notes: Oh no! A lover's quarrel and a fresh Bella smell!**

**Voting is open for the 'I Get Off in Volterra' contest in which I have an outtake from TR posted called 'Hide and Seek'. It actually would've been an outtake from this chapter. Demetri and Edward definitely need your love right now, so take a sec to vote.**

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2160551/I_Get_Off_in_Volterra_Contest

**I also wrote a little Edward/Jasper drabble if you like that pairing. It's quick easy read, link is on my profile.**

**Tracking Redemption has a forum thread on Twilighted! It's empty and lonely over there, so if you have any questions of comments feel free to post them. I'll answer anything, even if it's "What kind of underwear does Demetri wear?", nothing is too random (BTW, probably navy blue boxer briefs, unless he's feeling saucy, then it would be those satin boxers with the flames on them hehehe). Link to the thread on my profile!**

**Leave me some virtual hugs, folks!**


	11. This Ruined Puzzle

**Author's note: The fates sincerely did not want me to post this. My power cord to my laptop melted, and I was without internet for a few days, so I wrote the majority of this on paper! Then I had to trick this website into letting me post. Anyway, here's chapter 11.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or twilight. Stephenie Meyer does. That's not me. :) Chapter title comes from an awesome band 'Dashboard Confessional'. I don't own that song either except on CD.**

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Everything stopped and went silent for Edward except for the sound of his heavy breathing. His head was filled with nothing but the steady inhale and exhale, and he drank in the scent that he had been positive was nothing but a memory. There was no doubt of what it was; the air was thick with it, and it was very nearly palpable. Thinking he could hold it in his palm, Edward's fingers straightened and flexed, and he was surprised when his hand remained empty.

He looked towards Demetri who was now only inches away from him, his hand grasping the sleeve of Edward's coat. Demetri's mouth was moving, but Edward could not hear him, Bella's scent overriding all of his other senses.

Without another word Edward sprinted towards the clearing, arms and legs methodically pumping of their own accord, desperately moving Edward towards an answer to his befuddlement. Within a matter of moments he burst into the clearing, his eyes searching frantically for _her, _his ears straining for the telltale beating of a heart.

Instead what he found were the members of his family, minus Carlisle, standing next to an enormous fire, stacked with arms, legs, and torsos as tall as Edward. The purple smoke plumed and billowed horrifically into the early morning sky, blocking out any sun that might threaten to shine.

His eyes darted over each face, as though his exceptional sight could have missed her, before finally landing on Alice who was staring at him with an omniscient gaze.

Edward continued through the clearing, the overly sweet stench of burning immortal flesh faint in comparison to that human scent he was as aware of as his own name.

Once he was within a few yards of his family Alice leapt at him, throwing her arms fiercely around his neck.

"I've missed you, Edward," Alice whispered affectionately, clutching him tightly.

"We all have," Esme finished. Alice relinquished her hold on Edward so that Esme could embrace him.

There were so many thoughts and questions at war with each other in Edward's head that even with his super human senses his mouth could not convey them.

Esme stepped back from Edward smiling, but all he could do was continue to gape. Rosalie was glaring, while Emmett and Jasper seemed to be leaning over something, keeping a watchful eye. It was then he remembered Jasper's and Carlisle's errant thoughts about one of the newborn's apparent surrender.

Demetri, Jane, and Felix finally entered the clearing as Edward was about to voice his long stream of questions.

Demetri reached him first, standing almost possessively close to Edward while the other two approached much slower.

Edward's whole being was in chaos, and he still had yet to speak. He perused each of his family's thoughts, hoping to get some answers without having to speak, yet they were all suspiciously preoccupied with random musings. He was almost relieved when Jane spoke up, taking charge.

"What has happened here?" Jane demanded. Each member of Edward's family looked at each other; without Carlisle, they were unsure of who would speak.

"There were several newborns that attacked us," Alice piped in, "as I'm sure you're aware."

"And how many were there?" Jane pressed.

"Twenty-three," Alice answered promptly. Jane scoffed. Demetri let out a surprised sound, and Felix muttered several expletives.

"You expect me to believe that the five of you defeated twenty-three young vampires?"

Edward saw Alice's thoughts flash to the wolves, and then sift through different visions with separate outcomes to find the best possible way to answer. Though she tried to hide it, Edward caught glimpses of long mahogany hair and wide, brown eyes—a human girl, breathing, moving, _living. _Edward let out a tiny moan and closed his eyes, a wave of sickness beginning to crest.

"There were six of us, Carlisle has gone to search the woods and make sure there are no stragglers," Alice answered cautiously. "We were prepared for them. I saw them coming, and they were so wild it was almost easy."

"You _saw _them?" Jane questioned curiously, unconsciously taking a step closer to Alice and narrowing her eyes.

"I would've thought Edward told you…I have visions of things yet to happen," Alice answered, looking quickly towards Edward. Jane's eyebrows lifted and she sneered.

_Aro will know everything, Edward, but it's better that he hears it from you, _Alice thought. Edward furrowed his brow. He _knew _nothing of what was going on; how was he to communicate it to anyone?

"Why would they come after you?"

"The only reasoning we could come up with is that their maker wanted revenge against us." Edward saw the feral eyes and bright red hair of Victoria in Alice's head, and he inhaled sharply. Jane glanced at him bemusedly. "We had to kill her mate quite some time ago because he was hunting in the area. We asked him to leave politely, and he refused. We couldn't risk our anonymity so he, unfortunately, had to be dealt with," Alice answered vaguely.

"Hmm…impressive. Sounds like we missed quite a demonstration. I would've loved to have seen it," she said, not quite convinced. "What's that? Over there?" Jane gestured towards Emmett and Jasper with her chin. Her sneer turned into a smile at the possibility of an interrogation.

"She surrendered," came the simple reply. Jane's wicked grin grew frighteningly larger as she approached the cowering female newborn.

Edward walked towards the young one, as well. He knew at least some of his questions could be answered by the thoughts in this girl's head.

The girl was curled up on the ground in the fetal position, entirely consumed with fear and thirst. She was visibly shaking like an addict, digging one hand into the earth and methodically pulling up chunks of dirt. Her other arm was wrapped around her knees, hugging them to her chest; she would not look at anyone. Her glowing eyes jumped around her surroundings, flittering so quickly they seemed almost liquid. Edward was reminded of a volcanic eruption, hot magma spilling everywhere, melting everything in its wake; her thoughts were just as disruptive and volatile.

Watching her take fistfuls of soil in her hands, Edward balked at how such a lithe girl could have so much strength. He'd been around a few newborns, but it still never failed to shock him. She had a small frame but long, lean arms and legs. She had lengthy, auburn hair that was a few shades darker than Edwards, but that could've only been because it was caked with mud and who knew what else. She was so young –no more than eighteen or nineteen at the most.

Felix's thoughts immediately turned crude; he obviously had a thing for redheads.

Jane squatted down in front of the girl so that she had to make eye contact with her. Still smiling angelically, Jane scooted within inches of the newborn's face.

"Hello sweetie," Jane said sardonically, her smile spiteful. "What's your name?" The girl looked over to Jasper and Emmett then looked around; Edward realized she was looking for Carlisle. He undoubtedly had been very kind to her, and she only wished to speak with him. She looked back at Jane and put her face in her hands. Smile never faltering, Jane applied the tiniest bit of her painful gift to the girl, whose back immediately arched as a horrific scream ripped from her throat. Abruptly, Jane stopped.

"Dearheart…" Jane started again, "What is your name?"

"K-Kelly," the girl complied without a second's pause, the timbre of her voice loud even though she stuttered.

"Kelly," Jane uttered, looking contemplative and mulling over the name. "I knew a man named Kelly once. He was tasty…such a pure flavor of fear. So, Kelly, why did you attack these people?"

"The one that made us wanted a specific human girl. Riley told us that whoever found her could have her, and that she would be with these golden eyes here. I told them she wasn't. N-no one would listen. I knew she wasn't here," Kelly relayed quickly, trying to inconspicuously scoot away from Jane.

"Who was your maker? Was it this Riley person? And why would he want one measly human girl?" Jane asked, clearly not believing the girl's story.

"I d-don't know; it hurt so badly. It wasn't Riley that did this to me, though," came the meek, callow reply. Looking at her disapprovingly, Jane ignited the girl once more. The girl, Kelly, began screaming again, her intense pain reminding Edward of what it felt like to burn under Jane's ire.

"Jane," Edward said softly; she ignored him. "Jane!" he shouted, walking closer to her. "Stop. She doesn't know anything else." Jane kept her eyes on the squirming, writhing, female, whose eyes were rolling in the back of her head as her body seized violently. Jane suddenly stood up, releasing her hold on the girl, and turned away from her.

"I know," she said laconically. "You can finish her, Felix." Felix flexed his fingers, pretended to crack his knuckles and walked towards Kelly.

"If I must. It's a shame though. She's awfully pretty," Felix said honestly.

Edward loathed this, but he'd learned his lesson the last time that you can't save everyone. Trying to tune out her panicked thoughts, Edward turned his back on the girl, and looked around at his family. Edward still had many questions that needed answering, but he could not speak freely around Jane.

Kelly's thoughts began jumping around maddeningly as she outlined the events since her birth into this world. They were difficult to decipher; her fear was overruling almost any reason as Felix approached her. As her memories flashed, Edward saw something very interesting, something that could possibly save her.

"Stop, Felix," Edward blurted out quickly.

"Edward, please don't," Demetri started, assuming Edward would once again try to stop the inevitable. It was the first time Demetri had spoken directly to him since arriving in Forks, and Edward had to look at him. His expression was pained, his mouth in a thin line, and his eyes downtrodden. Edward felt horribly.

"There's a good reason not to kill her." Edward looked at Demetri as he spoke, but finally turned his eyes towards Jane and Felix by the newborn. "She has a talent that I think Aro would be very interested in. He wouldn't want you to end her, trust me."

"What is so special about her?" Jane asked, the irritation clear in her voice.

"Yeah," Felix chimed in, "besides her killer legs?" If it were any other day Edward would've smiled at Felix's off handed comment, but he could not bring himself to.

"Take her to Aro; he'll know exactly what I mean."

"But what about questioning here? We need to talk to these people, and find out about this human girl these newborns were after," Jane countered angrily. "We can't just take every nomadic vampire who's broken the law to Aro because you think there's some talent there."

"Jane, she didn't know, and there was no one to tell her. Aro would be upset with you if you destroyed her. Especially when he sees through me what she does. I can stay here and ask the questions; you know I have no option but to be honest, and with my abilities there's no way they can't answer me truthfully," Edward said, cutting his eyes towards Alice. "Demetri can stay with me, and you and Felix can arrange to have Kelly transported back to Volterra. I'm sure Aro can have it arranged to take the car straight to the jet on the runway, so she doesn't encounter any humans. Trust me, Aro will be thrilled to have her, and he will be very pleased with you." Edward had apparently said something that got through to Jane, because she did not disagree.

"I don't think Demetri wants to stay here with you," Jane said, turning up her nose. Edward looked towards Demetri beseechingly. Edward needed him to stay.

"I'll stay," Demetri confirmed somewhat reluctantly. He chided himself internally, thinking he should leave. Edward spoke again without hesitation.

"Take her now; find her something to eat, but not around here. Call Aro and make the proper arrangements. Demetri and I will take a commercial flight back." Edward was growing increasingly impatient, his questions scalding his brain.

Kelly was confused and frightened yet relieved. Edward felt horribly for her; he had practically sold her into an eternity of servitude, but the alternative was worse, and as Demetri had once stated, working with the Volturi had more opportunities than being nomadic.

Jane agreed begrudgingly and Felix pumped his fist in the air. He walked over to the girl who curled tightly into herself, afraid of the hulking vampire who had just been about to end her existence. Felix offered his hand to help Kelly to her feet.

"I really didn't want to have to kill you. It's okay; I'm not going to. Everything will be alright, babe," he said, smiling at her brightly. She slowly took his hand and he yanked her to her feet, using the excuse of dusting off her shorts as a reason to touch her. Edward rolled his eyes at Felix's audacity.

They left a few moments later, Felix keeping one arm around Kelly, ensuring that she couldn't get away. Edward breathed a sigh of relief as they exited the clearing. As soon as Edward was convinced they were out of hearing range he turned towards his family.

"Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" Edward asked through clenched teeth. They all stared at him a few moments, each of them looking reluctant and fearful. Still, their thoughts meandered towards other things, and Edward knew what it was they were trying to keep from him. He smelled Bella; Alice had thought of Bella –alive and well. Edward had no explanation for what was going on, because Bella was dead. She had to be dead, Alice saw it, and there was no future when Alice looked. None at all.

"Why'd you want to keep this guy with you, Edward?" Rosalie asked derisively, gesturing towards Demetri with her thumb.

"That's not important right now," Edward said, waving his hand dismissively. He clenched his eyes, knowing he'd said the wrong thing again, but continued, "Why would Victoria bring a whole army of newborns to attack you?" he finished, addressing anybody who would start answering his questions.

"Edward," Alice began, walking towards Edward slowly and resting her hands on his forearms, "I will tell you everything, but I need you to listen to me completely before you say or do anything, okay?" Her expression was very grave, and Edward's eyes widened and he felt something akin to fear seep into his chest.

"Please, tell me," Edward implored, the confusion making him weak-kneed.

"Victoria was out for revenge. She wanted your mate, and she assumed we would be here protecting her. We told the Quileutes about what was happening, and they agreed to help. We were able to place a scent in the clearing to draw them in, and with Jasper's instruction, we were able to pick them off," Alice spoke slowly and softly, as though talking to a child. Edward was agitated with her pace, and from what was explained so far, he was only more confused.

"Is Victoria taken care of?" Edward asked quickly, wanting to make sure the main threat had been dealt with.

"Yes, but not before she bit one of the pack," Alice answered grimly, each of the other members of his family looking dour. Edward took no joy in hearing of the death; he knew the Quileutes were an old and close tribe and would be taking the loss extremely seriously.

"I am very sorry to hear that. So that's where Carlisle went? To try and help?" Edward asked.

"There won't be anything he can do. Embry was bitten several times, and our venom is deadly to the wolves. He wanted to try to make him as comfortable as possible."

"Wait," Demetri interrupted, "There are werewolves here?"

"Not really your traditional werewolves," Edward answered. "They don't need a full moon to shift. They can do it as needed. They consider themselves protectors of the humans here." Demetri merely nodded, baffled.

Things were making more sense to Edward, and he was beginning to calm down. It just seemed that Victoria had been under the impression Bella was still alive. He didn't understand how this could be possible, because surely Laurent had told her Bella was dead.

"Is Laurent dead?"

"Yes," Alice replied, "the wolves killed him after the incident in the meadow." That was understandable and Edward felt a great satisfaction, knowing that Bella was so quickly avenged. He had one final question.

"How did you get such a strong scent in the clearing?" Edward could still smell Bella all around him. He ran through the possibilities while he waited on Alice to answer. Maybe they'd found an old hairbrush, or possibly an unwashed bedspread or clothing? He could definitely see Charlie Swan leaving Bella's room exactly as she'd left it, dirty clothes and linens, but the scent seemed so fresh.

Alice breathed in deeply and her eyes shifted fleetingly towards Demetri. "I don't know how to tell you this, and I am so sorry that I messed up, Edward." _You've been happy in Volterra, with him, haven't you? _Alice thought. _I haven't told anyone. _Edward nodded automatically because he had been truly content, but his perplexity was becoming overwhelming.

"Please, Alice, finish. I don't understand."

"I've discovered that the wolves are a blank to me. Carlisle thinks it's because they're constantly shifting from animal to human, and the threads of their destinies are so interwoven with the animal that I can't see anything. You know our abilities don't work on animals."

"Okay, that makes sense, but what does it mean?" Edward could make sense of nothing Alice said. Why was she telling him this?

"When the wolves entered the meadow with Bella and Laurent, Bella's future went blank. It wasn't because Bella had no future; it was because of the wolves. Are you following me?" Alice asked, lowering her voice and inching closer to Edward. He knew the answer had to be right in front of him, but his head felt like it was spinning on his shoulders.

"No," he whispered.

"Bella is alive, you dumbass," Rosalie spat out in disgust. "Now you can be reunited and have your perfect little happy ending." She laughed humorlessly.

Edward felt his breath knocked out of him in a rush. The world went silent and cold, and the scent of Bella seemed to beckon him on the breeze, imploring and begging him to go to her.

Bella was alive.

Edward shrugged out of Alice's grasp, and began backing up slowly. His muscles coiled up like a spring, preparing to launch him through the forest to Bella's house.

"Rosalie!" Alice shouted. "Edward, don't run. Please, listen to me." But Edward couldn't listen; all he could do was smell. He glanced briefly at Demetri, his expression so pained he would've assumed that he was being dismembered and burned alive, dying torturously. Edward couldn't let that stop him, though. He had to go. He had to find Bella.

"I'm sorry," he uttered silently, throwing up his hands and shaking his head. He took one last look at Demetri; his heartache clearly displayed on his face, and turned away from him and ran to find _her_.

Edward fled the clearing and arrived to Bella's home within a few short minutes. He barely felt his feet touching the forest floor as his body guided him faultlessly to the place he'd visited so many times.

Bella's truck was there, but no one was home, so he climbed into Bella's room through her window to wait. As soon as the window was open, Bella's scent came bursting through in welcome, and the fact that Bella was alive solidified itself for Edward.

Feeling extremely conflicted, Edward eased himself into the rocking chair by her bed. Bella's scent was so very familiar, and the emotions it brought with it were indefinable. He knew that it made him thirsty, and his eyes were black as pitch. An extreme sadness overtook him, as well, and he was unable to decipher why. He should have been thrilled that Bella was alive, but the overriding sense was simply melancholy.

Edward scanned over Bella's room, taking in her belongings. He could definitely see that the room had been lived in. He rose from his seat and began walking around the room, reaching out tentatively to run his fingers across her bookcase. Noticing a ticket stub on her vanity, Edward walked closer, seeing that it was from a street fair in Seattle from just a few weeks prior. He picked it up and brought to his face, inhaling deeply; it was absolutely surreal to be surrounded by her scent when he had thoroughly dismissed it.

There was another smell that Edward couldn't pinpoint that mingled slightly with Bella's. He was certain he'd smelled it before, but for the first time in a century, his brain was simply too overwrought to ponder it. It wasn't important anyway.

Moving towards her closet, Edward silently opened the door. He saw a garbage bag in the back corner and opened it curiously. Inside was the stereo that Emmett had gotten her for her birthday, obviously having been taken out by force. Edward scrunched his eyes closed; he realized she must've removed it with all the might she could muster because he could still smell faint traces of blood around the edges. His guilt swelled up menacingly, and he recalled how broken she'd looked in the meadow before Laurent had tried to attack her. He had left her that way, and Victoria had come after her with an _army. _

But she was alive and breathing, thinking, heart beating, walking, talking…_living. _The all encompassing agony that he had felt over her death had been for naught, because all he would had to have done would have been to come to Forks, and see her alive. He was indebted to the Volturi for years –possibly decades—and there was absolutely no reason for it. Bella was never a catalyst launching him to Italy; once again, it was his own self-absorption, stupidity, and impetuousness that led him there.

_Look at all the trouble you've caused, _he berated himself. He birthed misery wherever he went, no matter how inadvertently. The things he'd been made to do on that mission in London played out in his mind again, and he roughly put his hands in his hair, tugging forcefully. It was unnecessary. Going to Italy, being blackmailed by Aro, putting his family at risk, leaving Bella at risk had _all _been pointless. Even allowing himself to love Demetri had been…

_God, Demetri, _Edward realized too late how carelessly he had fled. He had done it again: run away from the thing that mattered most in the world. How could he have almost thought that loving Demetri was pointless? Demetri _was _the point. Demetri was the reason he had gone to Volterra, the reason that all those things that Edward had labeled pointless actually _did_ matter. Without each impulse he'd had, without each idiotic decision he'd made, without risking _everything_, he would still be immersed in self-loathing and wallowing in ridiculous misery. Alone. And Demetri would be no more than a faceless, wicked vampire with which he was too haughty to interact.

Battling with himself internally, Edward went back and forth over the decision to delay seeing Bella. The urge to see with his own two eyes that Bella was alive was gargantuan, but the risk to his relationship with Demetri was just as great.

At one point Edward had thought that, of course, he would want to be with Bella if by some miracle she could be risen from the dead, but that was before…

Edward felt chaotic, pondering how he would be affected once he laid eyes on Bella. True, he was captivated by Demetri; he had given him everything that he had denied Bella, and enjoyed it thoroughly, but Bella had changed him, the loss of her leaving him broken. In turn, Demetri had rebuilt him, made him whole, brought out the true version of himself, gave him life.

Never had Edward felt comfortable calling his existence life until Demetri taught him how to live.

Did he even need to see Bella to know that his true place was wherever Demetri was? No…not anymore. He wanted to apologize to her, explain himself, and hopefully garner some peace with his guilt, but Demetri was his priority. Edward was so angry with himself; he'd wasted all this time in Bella's room, and he had left Demetri feeling dejected and unwanted.

He had to hurry before the space between them grew any more irreparable.

Edward made his way to the window to exit when he heard a vehicle approaching. Standing aside in the shadows, he watched as a car pulled up, and Bella got out. From the thoughts of the driver, Edward gathered he was a member of the wolf pack, as his thoughts were sorrowful at the loss of one of his 'brothers'.

He heard Bella tell the boy that she was going to shower and drive back to La Push and wait for Jacob. Edward remembered the boy, Jacob Black, who had inadvertently given away the vampire family's secret to Bella. He knew that Charlie and Jacob's father Billy had been close, so it was only natural that Bella and Jacob were friends, as well.

Bella looked so broken down and exhausted. Shoulders slumped and head down, Bella trudged up her drive, and Edward heard her open the door. She let out a sigh as she hung up her house keys and jacket, before starting up the stairs.

Edward couldn't leave, not when she was so close. Seeing her from a distance had only made it that much harder to put off speaking with her. He concluded that he would talk with her only briefly.

He held his breath as he counted her footsteps; they rang in his ears like the pounding of her heart. The sound was just as soothing as it had always been. Being a vampire, he wasn't generally subjected to the obligatory case of nerves when faced with a daunting task, but at that moment he almost expected a cold sweat to break out across his brow, or to hear his pulse pounding in his ears.

Bella opened her bedroom door, paying close attention to her feet. Edward stood between the window and her bed. She had not noticed him.

"Bella," he breathed out quietly not wishing to startle her. She gasped loudly and stumbled backwards, her arms flailing out as she started to fall. The scenario being so familiar, Edward's arms acted on their own, rushing to her side, keeping her upright and holding her to him.

"Edward," she sobbed, burying her face against Edward's chest.

"Bella, shhh…" Edward attempted to comfort her, smoothing down her hair and whispering to her softly. The weight of her in his arms was imperceptible, her skin was overly-warm, and she was just so tiny and breakable. Everything about her was so achingly familiar, yet so very, very wrong. But, she had obviously suffered a great deal, and Edward knew that it was at least partially his fault. He stopped touching her hair and awkwardly rested his hands on her shoulders where his arms were snaked underneath hers; their position making him anxious.

Understanding washed over him like a baptism as the reason for his melancholy presented itself. That draw that he'd had to Bella was gone, and he felt the tiny, empty place inside of him that mourned its loss; it had been replaced by something much more lasting, true, and _right, _but it was loss all the same. Edward had never been more pleased to lose anything; the feeling was very strange and paradoxical.

Suddenly, Bella seemed to realize exactly who it was comforting her and she frantically freed herself from Edward's embrace. Edward was relieved because, frankly, she smelled horribly of wet dog. He took several steps back from her, and he noticed that Bella had balled her hands into fists as she glared at him. She was clearly angered at Edward's presence in her bedroom, and he could not blame her in the least.

"Bella, I—"

"Edward," she interrupted, blinking in disbelief, "You left…" Bella trailed off. She was obviously completely confused, and Edward could empathize. Bella struggled to find words as did Edward, but he knew he would have to speak. He shuffled his feet nervously, his eyes searching her face. He heard the air rushing in and out of her lungs, her stomach digesting, her organs working, her blood pumping, and he swallowed a mouthful of venom. Bella was standing him front of him, raised from the dead.

"I-I thought you were dead…when I found out that you were alive, I had to come…make things right. Alice couldn't see anything in your future…I thought you were dead," Edward stuttered, unable to convey the mass of his ignorance. Bella looked at him strangely.

"Alice didn't tell you that I was alive?" Bella inquired firmly. Edward wanted to scoff; the exact opposite had occurred. Edward furrowed his brow and looked away from Bella. He wasn't sure how much he wanted to reveal to her about his current position with the Volturi. He knew Bella would find a way to blame herself for the position he was in, and the last thing he wanted was to cause her more misery.

"I've been out of communication with my family. I've been… in Italy," he answered guardedly. Bella's gaze turned hard, obviously his answer was too vague for her to accept.

"You've been too busy running all over Europe to talk to your family?" she spluttered, walking past Edward and sitting at her desk. She propped her elbow on the corner, and placed her forehead in her hand.

"I've been…working," Edward answered tersely, hoping to convey that he would not go into it further with her. Maybe someday he would explain everything, but now was not the time for it.

"Working?" she repeated acerbically. Edward nodded, approaching her new seated position.

"Bella, I was asked to join the Volturi guard and I accepted. Sadly, yes, I let my communication with my family lapse, but there has been much happening and--"

"The Volturi?" she gasped. Edward had shared limited bits about the Volturi with Bella. She knew they upheld the law, and that Carlisle had spent time with them, but Edward had always spoken of them with disdain.

"Yes, they offered me a position and I simply could not refuse," Edward stated briefly. Bella's interrogation was causing his anxiety to mount. He wished to ask for her forgiveness, and feared that agitating her would make her less likely to give it. Edward would never expect her to forgive him regardless, so he supposed it did not matter.

Her mouth agape, Bella stared at Edward disbelievingly. It seemed she would not press any further on the subject of the Volturi. She shook her head and blinked quickly, at a complete loss.

"Bella," Edward's voice was softer now, and he kneeled down to be on eye level with her, swallowing more venom due to their proximity, "I came here to apologize…for the way I left and for hurting you. Bella, when I told you I didn't love you, it was the blackest kind of blasphemy." Edward meant it because it was the absolute truth. He _had _loved Bella immensely; he never should have lied to her, but he was deeply glad that he had. Still, he needed her forgiveness to be truly absolved of his guilt. Without it he would always be left with that clichéd chip on his shoulder. He took a deep breath and continued, "Can you ever forgive me?"

Bella remained silent for several moments, and Edward began thinking he might need to reconsider his wording. Surely, she wouldn't want to be with him anymore? There was no conceivable way he could ever be involved with Bella again; everything he wanted resided elsewhere. He didn't want to tell her he didn't love her in the same way he had, but was about to clarify when she finally spoke.

"Edward," she sighed. "When you left I thought I would die. I was so empty and everything seemed so bleak, I _wanted_ to die." Her words pained Edward and unease crept into his features as she continued.

"But I started spending time with Jacob and he made me happy. I felt whole again, for the first time in months. At first, it was because being with him kept you off my mind, but then before long the lines of our friendship sort of faded. I love him, Edward." Edward thought that he should have been jealous, or anxious, or worried that she was spending time with a volatile werewolf, but all he could manage was relief.

"And of course I'll forgive you. If you hadn't left I wouldn't have Jacob. Alice told me this is where I'm meant to be. She explained that you were trying to protect me; I know you never meant to hurt me. Even though it was a stupid way to go about things," she chuckled lamely. Edward's breath whooshed out as Bella finished, his leaded agony over the things he had done to her melting and ebbing away.

"You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that, Bella…how much it means to me to have your forgiveness." The reprieve Bella offered softened the twisted worry on Edward's face.

"Alice told me you met someone," she mentioned shyly. Edward's eyes, which had been turned down, snapped back up to her face. Alice had told Bella about Demetri? She told Edward that she hadn't mentioned him.

"Yes, I have…met someone," Edward muttered, slipping his hands into his pockets and turning his eyes to his shoes.

"What's her name? Is she with the Volturi, too?" Edward almost laughed in relief; for some reason, he was reluctant to tell Bella he was with a man, but he didn't want to lie either. He loved Demetri, and wanted everyone to know that, but he just could not bring himself to discuss it any further with Bella. He hadn't even told his family yet, and they took precedence.

Edward tried to think of a viable excuse to halt this discussion when he was bombarded with two familiar sets of thoughts. The most important was Alice, demanding Edward come outside right away. The second one was from Bella's father, Charlie, who would be arriving home very shortly.

"Bella, your father is almost home. Billy has given him the news about Embry, and I think it would be best if I leave," Edward rushed out. Alice's thoughts bordered on frantic, and he knew it was undoubtedly something to do with Demetri.

Bella nodded, looking as though she was about to cry again. Edward felt badly, it was possible that Bella had been close with the boy that died, and he had hurriedly mentioned his name. He reached out and put his hand on her shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.

"Perhaps we can talk later, after the funeral and things are more settled? We'll be here for a few more days, and there are some things I'd like to explain further," he said, rising to his feet and walking towards the window. He had barely brushed upon the many questions he was sure she had, and he wanted her to be satisfied before he left Forks forever; he owed it to her. Edward's hand went mindlessly to his hair, further disheveling his already messy locks.

Charlie pulled into the driveway, and Edward hesitated a moment, looking back at Bella, that melancholy feeling causing a lump to form in his throat.

_Edward you need to get out here RIGHT now! _Alice screamed at him mentally. With one last glance back at Bella, he lithely jumped through the window.

"Ok, Edward," Bella replied, but Edward was already on the ground.

Feeling as though he'd extricated the majority of his guilt and left if behind at Bella's, Edward quickly began searching for Alice. He was hopeful that he could finally correct his errors with Demetri and formally introduce him to his family, until he heard Alice's troubled thoughts.

She was sitting in the maroon rental car about a mile and a half from Bella's. Edward's elevated mood dropped like stone when she leapt from the vehicle as Edward approached.

Alice's face was marred with worry, and one of her tiny hands was pressed against her mouth at the fingertips. Edward couldn't hear, see, or smell Demetri anywhere nearby, save the faint trace of sweetened sea spray that wafted from the car's open door. Edward groaned and his chest clenched, feeling painfully hollow. Before Alice could even speak Edward knew Demetri was gone. Edward had waited too long.

"Edward, Demetri left." The words spoken aloud sliced into Edward, and even though he knew from the moment he saw Alice, the verbalization had stolen any hope he could be mistaken.

Taking a few seconds to collect himself, he took several steps closer to Alice. "How long ago did he leave?" Edward asked, placing his hands on Alice's shoulders to steady himself, his expression translating his urgency.

"About fifteen minutes," she answered. "He left on foot, but he's going to steal a car as soon as he reaches a point he can no longer run under cover."

Edward tried to think rationally. If Demetri made it to the airport he could always follow him right back to Volterra and make him listen there; there was no way he could avoid Edward with their rooms right next to each other. He could still make things right.

"Will he be able to get a flight right away?" Edward requested, his feet itching to run.

"I don't know, Edward. I am so sorry. I tried to—"

"What do you mean you don't know? How could you not?" Edward's voice rose along with his panic.

"Evidently –unlike Jane—you did tell Demetri about my sight and how it works. He keeps changing his mind. The only thing I know for sure is that he has no intentions of going back to Volterra," Edward took a sharp breath and his eyes widened as he thought over what that meant, "I am fairly certain that he's going to the airport in Seattle, though."

Edward squeezed Alice's shoulders tightly as the comprehension that Demetri might slip away from him crept in, leaving him reeling. His chin dropped to his chest as his head felt too heavy for his body. Wanting to lash out at someone, he abruptly lifted his face to look at Alice, his eyes flashing angrily.

"How could you just let him leave, Alice?" Edward snarled. Alice looked hurt, but did not comment on his tone.

"I couldn't very well stop him without causing a scene and completely outing you. Believe me, he was very adamant. He waited nearly an hour at the house before he left. I assured him that if he stayed things would work out, but he said something like, 'Forgive me for not trusting your judgment'. I can't fault him for it." Alice thoughts were saturated with guilt, and she looked away from him, unable to meet his furious glare. She obviously blamed herself. Edward immediately regretted being angry with her.

"This is my fault, Alice. The mess is mine to clean up." Alice met his eyes again and they were full of pity.

"It doesn't matter whose fault it was; you have to go now, Edward. If he gets on a plane—"

"Then I would never find him again," Edward whispered finishing Alice's thought. Demetri could make himself lost just as easily as he could track; if he didn't want Edward to find him, then Edward never would, and that knowledge made him move.

His hands flew from Alice's shoulders and he dashed to the driver's seat of the rental car. He turned the ignition and the vehicle's purring mechanisms encouraged Edward, and he revved the engine.

"Edward!" Alice shouted running to the window. Edward hastily rolled it down, and she handed him a small silver phone. "Take this. It has all of our numbers, and I'll call from Jasper's phone if anything becomes clear."

"Thank you, Alice." Edward looked at her affectionately. "I love you." Edward didn't want to miss the chance of telling those he cared about that he did, ever again.

Alice smiled at him sadly. "I love you, too, Edward. Now, bring him back. He is definitely spirited, I'll give him that." Her smile grew more genuine. "I know the changes he's made in you; everyone will love and accept him," she finished, stepping away from the car.

Giving her a tight-lipped smile that was more like a grimace, Edward punched the gas pedal, the car lurching forward as he sped away.

The scenario was uncomfortably familiar to Edward; he was hunting a tracker and trying to save someone, but this time it was he that needed salvation.

Edward refused to believe he would fail. He was so worn from the tireless string of running, self-loathing, and isolation –not that there was anyone to blame but himself—and he had promised himself he would stop. He had also told himself that he would never give Demetri a reason to doubt him again, and not two hours after he had sworn that oath, he had given him the biggest reason of all. It seemed Edward broke many promises that he had made himself throughout the course of that day.

Demetri was justified in being hurt. Never had Edward voiced aloud that the love he had for Demetri completely, boldly, and unapologetically obliterated what he'd had with Bella. Demetri engaged him mind and body, took care of him, inspired him, lifted him, completed him. Knowing that Bella was alive, smelling her, holding her and still thinking of nothing but Demetri had branded that truth into Edward like nothing else had.

He couldn't lose him. Edward already sensed the bottomless lacuna that would rip open within him if Demetri successfully fled.

_God, how could I do this to him? _Edward thought, remembering Demetri's defeated features as he'd turned his back on him, remembering the despondency in Seattle, and remembering his tormented musings on the drive to Forks. Demetri had left under the impression that he meant nothing to Edward; that he was easily discarded and dismissible, forgettable and temporary, when the opposite could not be truer.

How could Edward even ponder time without Demetri? He faced an eternity without his laugh, forever wanting his body against his, centuries of aching lips and idle hands; time would no longer be measured by the things he loved about Demetri, but by the things he had lost.

Edward's muscles were tight and his body twitched in impatience; even though he was going one hundred and thirty miles per hour, he felt the physical need to act. He wanted to bang his head into the steering wheel, but settled for beating it with his open hand.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it!" Edward cursed loudly, leaning forward in his seat, urging the car to go faster.

Edward was breaking; his thoughts wandering back through all the kind things Demetri had done for him, how thoroughly he had repaired him, how everything he did was for Edward's benefit. His patience, his advice, and his love had enveloped Edward and the loss of those things…

He didn't want to even think about what the loss of Demetri would do.

On Edward's first day in Volterra Demetri had tried to make him more comfortable and he'd been nothing but rude.

_Demetri abruptly stopped at an ornately carved door nestled in between two of the hanging lanterns. There were three other similar doors housed in the same passageway; one door to the right of this one, and two located across from it. The patterns on this entryway were delicately engraved with an abstract forest, along with intricately painted animals of the wild in muted hues. Edward could make out the face of a young buck, a badger, a flock of birds, and even a mountain lion hidden amongst the trees. The artistry with which it was crafted was remarkable, and even in this ugly place, Edward could appreciate its attractiveness. It reminded him of home._

_"I thought you might like this one. You know, with the whole eating animals thing…" Demetri said with a laugh, but thought, _I know it must look like the place you were last at home_... _

Edward chuckled quietly at the memory, the emptiness in his chest growing, more memories flowing through.

_Demetri chuckled, placing his mouth close to Edward's ear. When he spoke Edward felt the vibrations of his words, and his lips brushed the sensitive skin of Edward's lobe. "Thanks, E." His lips lingered by Edward's ear a few seconds longer than would have been considered simply friendly._

_Edward felt warm, and was suddenly very aware of the position the two men were currently in. Edward, with his stomach to the sofa, while Demetri sat on his thighs rubbing soothing circles on the lower part of Edward's back. Demetri was thinking of the average flying speeds of birds in North America._

_Demetri's hands applied the lightest of pressure and moved smoothly over Edward's clothed back. They were silent for a few moments until Demetri slid his hands under the fabric of Edward's shirt and began rubbing the bare skin he found there, just above the waistband of his pants. He ran his agile fingers up Edward's spine slowly, leaving a trail that felt like tiny pinpricks in their wake. Demetri's hands felt warm on his chilled skin, and Edward felt a stirring in his lower abdomen as a low moan escaped his lips involuntarily. He was very, _very_aware of the constriction he felt in his trousers as they became disturbingly tight._

Edward had been so clueless then, but it seemed like ages ago. He hated the time he had wasted loathing and pitying himself, but he wouldn't change a moment of the first time Demetri had kissed him.

_Demetri's eyes shone with feeling, the golden facets winning the battle against the red. He cautiously brought the hands that had so thoroughly pleased yet tormented Edward to the younger man's cheeks, one remaining stationary as the other one reverently traced the lines of his jaw, before settling on the side of his neck. Edward leaned into Demetri's touch, his eyes closing in the overpowering rightness of the smooth skin against his. Demetri used the new leverage to bring Edward within inches of his welcoming lips._

_"I know you're confused, E. Let me help you understand," Demetri breathed, the soft whisper of his utterance tickling Edward's trembling lips. Edward parted them slightly, inviting in the exquisitely scented air as it graced his curious tongue, tasting Demetri there. His prior convictions to quell his desires for Demetri were dissolved by the warm, soothing palms on his face, and the only thought in his mind was more._

_Demetri obliged, closing the gap between the two men excruciatingly slowly, and at last, pressed his mouth against Edward's waiting lips._

_When Demetri's lips touched Edward's, the shocking reality of it caused him to remain unresponsive for a few seconds. However, once Demetri's tongue swiped Edward's lower lip, sweetly requesting entrance to his mouth, the pleasant warmth that had spread throughout Edward's body ignited into a conflagration, wholly incinerating his qualms._

_Edward's hands reached out to clasp Demetri's hips of their own accord, pulling them flush with his own as the kiss deepened into a whirlwind of needy lips and tongues._

Only a few weeks prior, Demetri had told Edward he loved him, the words spoken and carried to Edward's ears like a promise, a signature of hope, the perfect forever.

_Demetri stood from the piano bench, walking behind Edward. He neatly took the lapels of Edward's jacket in his hands, removing the garment gently. He then unfastened the top button of Edward's shirt, knelt behind him, and placed his right hand under Edward's shirt and over his heart. His left hand wrapped around Edward's torso, pulling him backwards into his firm chest._

_Edward felt warm breath in his hair, and he leaned back into Demetri, allowing him –as always—to keep him upright. They stayed that way for several moments in silence, until Edward brought his hand to cover Demetri's right._

_"I love you, Edward," Demetri murmured into Edward's mess of bronze locks. The words were muffled, but Edward heard them –he felt them—clearly. Without warning, Demetri opened his mind to Edward, all the hidden thoughts flowing through. Edward felt as though he'd been through a torrent, and he was being given the chance to bask in the sunlight._

Edward let out a choked sob, pressing his foot harder against the gas pedal, even though it was already on the floor. He was gasping, his eyes were burning, and his hands held the wheel so tightly he started to hear something crack. Edward quickly loosened his grip; he was so near the airport and could not afford to ruin the car when he was so close.

Finally, he arrived, parking as close to the door as possible before running in. Déjà vu gently tickled the fringes of Edward's mind again as he left the car running and door open in his frantic dash into the terminal.

Smelling Demetri immediately, Edward followed the path he'd left and went to the ticket counter he knew Demetri had visited. Edward was aware he must look frightening, his hair was everywhere, his eyes were panicked, and he fidgeted nervously.

There was a young lady at the counter who smiled at him sweetly. "May I help you, sir?" she asked gently. _He's as handsome as the other one, _she thought meekly.

"Yes," Edward attempted to look dazzling, "I'm looking for a man that bought a ticket recently. He's a bit taller than me, hair to his shoulders, thin and fit, eyes the same color as mine…" Edward trailed off while the young lady nodded. Demetri's physical description only caused Edward further pain; he had to see him again.

_I wonder if they're brothers. He's very nice, but I'm just not supposed to give information about passengers… _she thought. Edward could not fail; she had to tell him. He would have to beg. Knowing his pride would do him no good in this situation, Edward pleaded with her.

"Please," Edward began; his brow furrowed, his lips turned down in a frown, "I have to find him. He's my p-partner," the word felt strangely on Edward's tongue, "and I love him. We had a misunderstanding and he left before I could apologize. He's everything and if he's gone I won't…" Edward couldn't speak anymore, the words hanging in his throat. He put his hand over his mouth and looked down, panting and gasping, trying to regain control of himself in that very public place.

The agent's thoughts turned to sympathy, and her expression mirrored Edward's. "I'm not supposed to tell you this –I could lose my job—but…I'm sorry," Edward was so tired of that word, "his flight has already boarded and should have already taken off," she lowered her voice and whispered, "He was going to Athens." Edward shattered into thousands of pebbles and felt as though every piece was bouncing and scattering across the airport floor.

Clearing his throat and speaking with his broken voice he said, "Would you give me his flight information so I can go to where he was boarding…just to be sure?" The young lady nodded sorrowfully, and quickly gave Edward the information. "Thank you," he forced out before swiftly finding the area Demetri would've left.

Edward searched the thoughts around him to see if anyone had remembered seeing him or to try to hear Demetri. He found nothing, and once he arrived to the security section, he looked at the departure screens that flashed all around him and saw that Demetri's flight had already left.

"Fuck!" Edward shouted, earning him glares from several people around him. He ran to the large terminal windows on his left and splayed his fingers on the glass as he saw the plane already several miles in the air. The blinking lights on the plane burned into his eyes, the red stripe down the side imprinted itself in his memory, each reminders of what was flying away.

Edward felt the phone vibrating in his pocket, but did not answer. He already knew what Alice would have to say.

The plane carried the most precious of cargo: his lover, his partner, his friend, his life. Every bit of which was contained in one man…a man that Edward had let go as easily as releasing the string on a balloon, and he rose higher and higher, farther and farther away, taking Demetri somewhere that Edward would never find.

* * *

**End notes: I know, I know, but a bit of heartfail does a body good! Let me know what you thought. Lots of love!**

**BTW, the dialogue from Bella comes from GracieBlack28 who wrote the companion story to TR called 'Til Death Do Us Part', I take credit for none of Bella's reactions or spoken words. If you like Bella/Jacob check it out.**


	12. Salvation of Faith

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Author's note: Sorry to keep you waiting a bit longer than normal. Thanks for everyone that takes the time to read.**

* * *

_Edward felt the phone vibrating in his pocket, but did not answer. He already knew what Alice would have to say._

_The plane carried the most precious of cargo: his lover, his partner, his friend, his life. Every bit of which was contained in one man…a man that Edward had let go as easily as releasing the string on a balloon, and he rose higher and higher, farther and farther away, taking Demetri somewhere that Edward would never find._

~*~

Edward watched the sky long after the plane had gone from his exceptional sight; its movement had seemed so slow that he almost convinced himself he could run faster than it could fly.

Finally shifting his eyes from the gray clouds, he focused on his reflection in the glass, barely resisting the urge to shatter it.

Demetri had actually left; love, meaning, hope, and laughter had gone with him.

Edward wanted to break down. He wanted to claw himself apart, set himself ablaze, anything to feel something that wasn't _empty_. The space where his dead heart resided was cavernous; when he breathed in shakily and sobbed quietly, he swore he heard the sounds reverberating off its inner chambers, creating a lonesome sonata.

Trying to formulate a plan, Edward's thoughts kept spinning back to the ways he should have handled things, could have handled things, but it was a pointless diatribe, because what was done was done; Demetri told him that many, many times. How could he move forward without Demetri's guidance?

Resolving himself, Edward decided that no matter how long it took him, he would find Demetri. He wasn't sure how yet, but he somehow felt hopeful that what they had shared would allow him to be found. Demetri would see him coming, but he couldn't avoid him forever, and Edward would get his chance to explain. Edward had proven he could be a patient man.

Finally jolting himself from the spot he'd been rooted in, he quickly made his way back to the ticket counter; he would get the next flight available leaving for Athens. It wasn't until he was within a few feet of the counter that he realized he did not have his credit cards or passport.

"Damn," he muttered under his breath, remembering everything he needed was in his luggage in the trunk of the car. He had become so used to travelling on the Volturi's private jet, and having everything handled for him, that he'd stopped carrying those things on his person; he would have to correct that practice immediately.

He rushed outside, hoping that the car would still be there, but doubting that it would be. He had left the car running, door wide open, and in a no parking zone. His fears were confirmed when the spot he'd left it in was empty.

Letting out a fierce growl, he plopped down on the curb, laying his face in his hands. He'd never felt so utterly…abandoned. With a start, he realized this must have been how Bella felt when he left, how his family felt when he had fled to Volterra, or how Demetri felt watching Edward run with nothing other than a muttered apology. Edward despised the idea that he had ever been the cause of such misery, and to those he thoroughly loved no less.

_Get it together, Edward, you have forever. You're alive…he's alive, there's plenty of time, _Edward thought, rubbing his cheeks vigorously. Turning his gaze towards the overcast sky, Edward wondered how many miles separated him from Demetri; it made him incredibly uneasy to ponder. Demetri's scent still hung in the light wind that caressed and further tousled Edward's hair, almost like phantom fingers reminding him of what he had let get away.

He tried to understand why he was in more agony over Demetri leaving than when he thought Bella was dead. There was still a chance with Demetri, but he decided it was that Demetri willingly left Edward behind. He didn't attempt to fight; he had no faith in Edward, but being the self-deprecating creature he was Edward blamed himself. However, finding fault in himself did not diminish the anguish he was experiencing over being abandoned. Shaking his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts, his body began humming in anticipation of the task ahead.

Something like a survival instinct overtook Edward, and he swiftly rose to his feet. His determination was spurred on by the need for Demetri's proximity to breathe, think, and live. He would run back to Forks, get the documents he needed, come right back here, and start tracking.

Edward took a deep breath, steadying himself, trying to decide the fastest route back to Forks on foot. He would have to remain under cover as much as possible so he could run.

Taking a few steps in the direction of Forks, Edward felt Alice's phone jostling in his pocket, bouncing against his thigh. Feeling the slight weight of it caused Edward to remember that Jasper had a contact in Seattle who provided them with legal documents. Maybe he could give him something quicker than going all the way to Forks.

Smiling slightly that he had thought of something useful, Edward pulled the phone from his pocket and flipped it open. Immediately he saw the icons flashing, indicating he had a missed call and a new voicemail. Not wanting to waste the time to listen to what he already knew, Edward cleared the screen and went to the address book, finding Jasper's number.

Placing the phone to his ear, Edward continued walking away from the airport. Either place he had to go –Forks or Jasper's contact—would be well away from the airport. Jasper answered on the first ring.

"Edward," Jasper answered in an upbeat tone, "How are you?" Edward scowled. Not wanting to meander through pointless pleasantries, Edward began his questions.

"Jasper, do you think you could contact that attorney here in Seattle for me? I need a passport, identification, and some money as soon as possible. If he can't I'm sure I have something at the house-"

"Hey, Alice wants to talk to you," Jasper interrupted, "She's about to rip my hand off if I don't give her the phone," he chuckled. Jasper's good mood only served to make Edward irritable; he wished his brother were close by; so he could spread some of his good humor to Edward.

"But, I don't need to sp—"

"Edward," Alice said loudly as she abruptly came on the line, the volume of her voice vibrating the earpiece. "Did you get my message? Why didn't you answer the phone?"

"Because I'm at the airport. I know he's gone to Athens. Now, Alice, please put Jasper back on the phone, I need a passport to follow him and my car has been stolen." Edward could not understand why Alice was so calm. Did she not comprehend that the longer Demetri had to run the harder it would be for Edward to find him? Edward had started to jog slowly, his patience wearing thin.

"Demetri didn't leave, Edward," Alice blurted, smile evident in her voice.

"What?" Edward blubbered. "How can that be? He bought a ticket… The plane took off… They told me he was going to Athens…" Edward was babbling, afraid to hope even though it was already awakened.

"He changed his mind. He stole your car, or rather, took it back," Alice chimed out. Edward stopped jogging and doubled over, phone in the crook of his neck and hands on his knees. He wanted to laugh or cry with relief, he was not sure which.

"But, how did I not hear him around the airport?" Edward asked disbelievingly.

"I don't know that, Edward. Duress causing you to slip?" she ended, the statement sounding like a question as she giggled. Edward couldn't understand it, but supposed she had to be right. Demetri was good at covering himself, and airports had always been difficult for Edward.

"Anything else? Do you know what he'll do now?" Edward requested further, pacing back and forth. He so badly wanted to move and find him, to see, feel, smell, and taste Demetri again, but had no clue which way to go. Only a few hours had passed since he'd last seen him, but those hours might as well have been weeks.

"He's almost certain to be at Mt. Rainier," Alice responded promptly. Edward let out a quick breath; he was extremely familiar with the national park as it was a place he'd frequently hunted. He could be there in less than an hour. Before Edward even realized he had started, he was running, and had to force himself to keep it human; he was still very much out in the open.

"Okay, Alice, thank you," Edward replied, sincerity emanating from his voice.

"I'm glad to help," she replied. "Oh, and Edward…get everything you need out of the rental car before you find Demetri, okay? Your wallet, luggage, everything." Edward didn't have time to decipher her cryptic comment so he simply agreed and said goodbye.

Edward ran with angels on his feet. His body was precise and agile, darting under the covering of trees as swiftly as he possibly could. Hope spurred him forward, the chance at reconciliation coursing through his body like adrenaline. To be in the presence of Demetri again would be a soothing balm to the aching that had grown in his spirit since their parting. Edward had always been the fastest, but pushing himself to his limits he still could not fly fast enough.

What would normally be a two hour drive Edward ran in forty minutes. He saw the rental car abandoned and pulled off haphazardly on the side of the road. He emerged from the cover of the trees to inspect it. The keys were left in the ignition and the doors unlocked, so as Alice had suggested he got the luggage from the back; he had one small bag that contained his wallet and a few days worth of clothing. Looking at Demetri's bag, Edward decided to grab it, as well. Reentering the forest, Edward ran another mile before putting down the bags in a place he could retrieve them later. Demetri had to be close; his scent in the area was very fresh.

Edward travelled a few more miles before he picked up on Demetri's thoughts.

_I see you, E, _Demetri thought mockingly. _Should I stay or go?_

_Please don't go...._Edward thought to himself, knowing it was pointless to try to think at Demetri.

_Your tongue has been rather vicious today. I don't know that I want it anywhere near me…_

Edward tried to run faster. Demetri's musings had never been so very direct, and the tenor of them was somewhat malicious. He was quite obviously angry.

_I'm sure your girlfriend is eager for your return; after all, you've been apart for quite some time. Are you sure you want to waste the moments of her precious human life to talk to me?_

Edward understood Demetri's ire, but was growing irritated with Demetri's absolute lack of trust in him; especially at that moment when Edward could answer none of his thoughts.

_How does it feel to be the one left behind, E?_

Being left behind felt wretched and Edward never wanted to experience again. His sense of self had been left blank, erased as effortlessly as footprints in the sand, forgotten like a broken toy.

Edward was within seconds of Demetri, and suddenly broke into a large clearing. Demetri reclined against a tree trunk on the far side, arms across his chest, glaring at Edward. Even though his stare was fierce, Edward breathed out in respite then inhaled quickly, the pain in his chest easing noticeably.

_Oops, you found me._

Edward chuckled darkly; Demetri was not going to make this easy.

Approaching him slowly, Edward retained eye contact until Demetri abruptly pulled a wildflower from the ground and began plucking off its petals in an overly destructive version of _he loves me, he loves me not. _Once all the petals had been plucked, he crushed the remnants in his palm and began the process again.

"You know, it's illegal to pick wildflowers in a national park," Edward quipped, trying to lighten the grave mood that divided them. Demetri merely cocked his head, glowering at Edward pointedly, and pulled up a handful. Edward returned his glare unfailingly.

Wanting to choose his words carefully, Edward let several more moments pass before he spoke. "Why did you leave?" Edward knew Demetri's reasoning, but needed to hear exactly what Demetri was thinking and feeling when he ran.

"Several reasons," Demetri started, looking at the plants in his hands as he shredded them. "For one, I wanted to make it easier for you. I didn't want you to suffer the discomfort of telling me you chose her." He swallowed and clenched his jaw. "Two, I didn't want to see you with someone else." He looked up at Edward and his expression had softened from resentment to grief. "Three, I didn't want to go back on what I'd told you before." Edward looked at him quizzically, confusion wrinkling his forehead. "I told you that if Bella was somehow returned to you, I would let you go with joy in my heart. Well…I couldn't be joyful no matter how hard I tried," his voice cracked, "so I left."

Edward thought he had been devastated when he was under the impression he'd lost Demetri forever, but that was a small shard in a sea of glass compared to the misery plainly displayed on Demetri's features. He had become so interwoven with Demetri that anything he suffered directly affected Edward, and the burden of Demetri's dejection weighed a ton; he felt it pushing on his shoulders and had never felt gravity so profoundly. He sank to his knees and sat on his feet.

"Why did you stay?" Edward asked reluctantly, taking a slow breath through his nose.

"I didn't think you deserved to be let off so easily," he snorted mirthlessly. _Because I love you, and couldn't begin to comprehend never seeing you again, _he thought, his expression never changing.

"Nothing's changed—"

"Everything has changed," Demetri interrupted rising to his feet and turning his back on Edward. _I smell her all over him, _his thoughts anguished. He pressed the tips of his fingers to his temples as though fighting a headache. He looked so out of place surrounded by wildflowers with the backdrop of snowcapped mountains looming over him. Edward could not help but think how wrong everything seemed. Washington wasn't his home anymore; his home was with Demetri in Volterra, and he would make Demetri understand that.

"De—"

"Edward," Demetri said whirling around and facing him. "You left me. All I got was a mumbled apology and your back! Your family just stood staring at me. I wanted to scream and run after you, but how would that have looked? They have no clue about us, and I didn't see any point in telling them since your decision seemed so clear."

"I'm sorry." Edward stood and took a few steps towards Demetri.

"I am not ready to hear an apology from you," he interrupted. Demetri breathed deeply and took a few steps away from Edward.

"I've known from the beginning that you could be capricious. I have known that you were impetuous, immature, and hopelessly devoted to Bella, even in memory," Demetri sat again, looking extremely careworn. "But, I truthfully felt like you'd changed—that you'd grown. I thought we were…something _more _than convenience or temporary comfort. I can't even begin to describe… how lost I am," Demetri said, his voice crisp and cold. He put his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands.

Demetri's thoughts inadvertently went back to the moments after Edward ran from the clearing, leaving him with his family.

_Bella was alive. Demetri could see the conflict written all over Edward's face. He would go to her. Demetri was nothing but a passer of time, a convenience, an experiment. Edward mumbled an apology as he ran from the clearing, demons on his feet, his angel awaiting him. No, she was not an angel; she was living, breathing, and oh so, unbearably _human_. _

_Demetri looked at his hands, stone fingers and hardened knuckles, capable of peeling flesh from bone; they were the exact opposite of what Edward craved, what he needed, and what he would have. Demetri was left with nothing. He would go back to what he was before: a beast, a murderer, a soulless wraith lurking in shadow and existing solely for himself._

_He'd never felt that kind of agony, his body could barely withstand his traitorous heart as it yearned to claw itself out. He would've loved to let it; without the damned thing he would've felt nothing. _

_Demetri loved him. Damn it, how he loved him._

_His untamed hair, his gentle nature, his sinuous body beneath Demetri's, even his impeccable manners and endearing immaturity made Demetri's adulation for him multiply with each day he resided in Volterra. When Edward told Demetri he loved him, he wanted to die because nothing could ever compare to those exquisite words tumbling from his silken tongue; they were fragile and heartfelt, and Demetri had believed him. He wished he had died; if only Edward's utterance could've burnt him alive, or if Edward had been some type of bloody incubus and murdered him, then he could've been at peace in the soothing, balmy darkness of nothing. _

_Instead he was there, watching Edward's back as he ran away from him, his choice made perfectly clear. He thought the view could be much worse and laughed out loud humorlessly. Alice looked at him apologetically. Demetri smirked at her and nodded. No need to let anyone know just how fucked up the situation had him. He loathed feeling like he wanted his life to end; it was the exact opposite of what he'd told Edward. Demetri should've known he would pay for his arrogance._

_He thought of going back to eating humans, possibly starting with Bella, which caused his smirk to widen. Alice's eyes snapped to meet his._

"_That wouldn't be the best way to go about things," she stated warningly. Demetri had nearly forgotten how little Alice could see the future just as soon as he'd made a solid decision. "I don't know that Edward," he held out his hand, indicating he did not wish to hear the name, "would readily forgive that type of slip." Demetri chuckled again; that _was _actually funny._

"_Why should it matter to me anymore?" he asked sardonically, holding his arms out in surrender._

"_You should come back to our house, Demetri. Everything will work itself out. The best thing for you now is to wait," she replied, her gaze steadfast and knowing._

"_Why would I want to wait? So I can see firsthand his happy reunion with that _girl_?" _

"Get out of my damned head!" Demetri shouted abruptly, turning his thoughts to the stages of decomposition of the human body. Edward cringed.

"You know I can't turn it off," he replied apologetically. Edward had never so badly wished he could turn it off; Jane's wrath was a pinprick compared to Demetri's painful musings.

"Tell me what you came here to tell me so I can leave," Demetri said flatly, finally looking at Edward. "I want you to have what you desire, Edward, but don't expect me to hang around to see its fruition. I'll go back to Volterra and try to reason with Aro…explain why you're not coming back." His voice broke at the end, images of an empty room where Edward once resided flashing through his head.

Edward gulped. How could Demetri still not see? How did he still not know that what Edward felt for him was more than friendship, more than lust, more than a fleeting passion that could be flippantly tossed aside?

"Demetri," Edward started, his voice low as he once again brought his knees to the earth, before crawling on them to Demetri. He stopped within inches of his face. "You're right about one thing Demetri. That empty room you picture…my room will be empty because I think I would be much happier if I moved my things into yours." Demetri looked at Edward disbelievingly, and Edward took Demetri's face in his hands, forcing him to look at him, hoping he could see the honesty in his eyes. "You're what I need, what I desire, what makes me alive. You are my life's answer, not Bella." Edward could not stop his fingers from brushing across Demetri's parted lips as he continued to stare at him. Sighing with relief that Demetri was allowing the touch, Edward waited on Demetri to say something.

_How can I believe that? _Demetri thought, not trusting his voice.

"Because I have never spoken anything truer, or felt anything stronger… Why would I be here now if it were Bella I wanted? Why not let you leave?"

"To torture yourself." _And me, _he thought. "You seem rather fond of that." Demetri shrugged off Edward's hands and stood once more, walking out of the clearing. Edward quickly followed.

"Why don't you trust me? Have any faith in me at all?" Edward inquired, his frustration growing.

"You made it clear that I didn't matter, _E._ Three times today," Demetri remarked angrily, continuing to walk away.

"For that, I am so very apologetic, Demetri. The last thing I would want to do is hurt you…"

"Well, it's never your intention to hurt people, E, but it's what you're horribly good at. I spoke with your family today. Do you have any idea how heartbroken they were when you ran? They love you. I find it amazing that someone like us could have that much love, and you chose to leave it. Now I know exactly how they felt—how Bella felt. You're spoiled, E. You throw people away like…like dried up animal carcasses, and at least you bury those, show some kind of respect," Demetri ranted, struggling with words in his annoyance. Edward's own anger was growing; he tried to push it down, because Demetri was right, but he needed Demetri to understand that he was different. Yes, he had been self-absorbed, but he knew that. Those rash decisions had brought him to Volterra.

"I know, Demetri. I know. I see how awful leaving my family was, but I cannot regret it," Edward countered trying to catch up with Demetri.

"Why?"

"Because I would never have known you, obviously," he said. What was meant to come out as a sweet sentiment almost sounded like ridicule to Demetri. He abruptly stopped walking and spun around to face Edward.

"Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot. I might not walk around with a stick up my ass all the time, but I've got centuries on you, and I haven't wasted that time relearning everything I already know in _high school," _he finished mockingly before turning around and walking again. Edward huffed in frustration; it seemed he couldn't say anything right. Every word seemed to push Demetri further and further away from him.

"Please, Demetri. Listen to me," Edward caught up with Demetri enough to grab his arm, "I never had any intentions of staying with Bella. I should have explained to you ages ago, but especially before I left you in that clearing, how much different the two of you are."

"I know we're different, believe me I know—"

"Would you shut it for a few moments, please?" Edward interrupted, growing tired of Demetri taking everything out of context. Demetri growled, frowned, and his eyebrows pulled together in irritation, once again taking an aggravated stance.

"So, how did Bella take it when you told her about us?" Demetri asked condescendingly. Edward moaned internally; why did he have to ask him that?

"I didn't get the chance to tell her really," Edward answered abashedly.

"I figured as much. How about your family? How did they take it?"

"Demetri, you know I had to chase after you," he replied.

"Why wouldn't you tell Bella, E?" Demetri asked, evidently hurt further.

"Her father was coming home. She knows I'm with someone, just not who."

"You couldn't have quickly told her my name? I'm sure she asked. I know that I would be curious were I in her situation," he pressed.

"I don't know, Demetri. It really doesn't have anything to do with me and you—"

"I would have to argue with that. Are you ashamed of me? You don't want anyone to know? You quite easily dismissed me in front of your family in the clearing."

"What? No! I love you and I am not at all ashamed of you. I'm just certain it's not what any of them would've expected from me. I don't know that they would understand."

"Understand what?"

"I don't know," Edward said, looking at his shoes. He was beginning to feel harassed and was tiring of it quickly.

"Understand how you could love someone like me? A man? A member of the Volturi guard?"

Edward didn't answer, but continued to stare at his shoes. Everything he said was wrong. Demetri was standing close enough for Edward to touch, but yet he couldn't reach him. Demetri had put up a wall, just as strong as the one he put on his thoughts, and Edward was having much difficulty breaking through it. Nothing he could say was right.

"I tried to tell you in Monte Carlo. You wouldn't let me talk about her, remember? I loved Bella but," Demetri groaned throwing his arms to the side, starting to turn away again. Edward grabbed him and held him in place. "Listen to me!" _My God, _Edward thought, _Is this what it was like trying to talk to me? _

Demetri shoved Edward away from him roughly and started to walk away again. He shouted over his shoulder, "Stay the fuck away from me," and continued forward.

Debating on whether or not to follow him, Edward crossed his arms over his chest, trying to hold it together. Knowing there was no way he could ever give up on Demetri, he followed him again. Demetri was fast, but Edward was faster. He caught up with Demetri easily and decided he would just have to tackle him from behind and make him listen.

Edward grabbed Demetri, forcing him to the ground and quickly flipping him over. Edward had never seen Demetri's expression so lethal.

"When I said 'stay the fuck away from me' I meant leave me the hell alone," Demetri growled, the timbre of his voice animalistic.

"I can't," came Edward's simplistic reply, before crashing his mouth to Demetri's, deciding that since his words weren't right, perhaps his mouth could serve a better purpose. Demetri was unresponsive, but Edward knew his wall was crumbling. Edward's hands found themselves in Demetri's hair, clutching it roughly, trying to get Demetri to respond.

"Do you really want me to stay away?" Edward murmured against Demetri's stone lips.

"Yes." _No. _

Demetri's lips had puckered slightly which encouraged Edward, and he swiped his tongue over Demetri's mouth, humming as Demetri sighed, reveling in the familiar flavor.

"Do you not want me anymore?" Edward asked, his mouth travelling to that spot just above Demetri's collar bone that he knew was so sensitive. Edward's tongue darted out –barely—flicking the spot teasingly.

"No." _Yes. _

Demetri whimpered so quietly, Edward wasn't even sure he'd heard it. He pressed his hips into Edward's, his arousal evident. Feeling pleased that Demetri's body was responding when his words would not, Edward began pulling Demetri's shirt out of his trousers, wanting to lay his hands on the body he was so certain he'd lost.

"I can't lose you, Demetri," Edward panted, ripping Demetri's shirt, his mouth beginning to trace a path across Demetri's sternum, his eyes closed at the blissful feeling of Demetri's flesh against his lips.

_I would rather you didn't, Edward, _Demetri thought, still too angry to speak the words aloud. Demetri started to remove Edward's shirt, as well.

"Rip it," Edward commanded, his want for Demetri overwhelming him. Demetri finally looked in Edward's eyes and complied, pointedly maintaining his stare as he shredded Edward's shirt, and followed with the rest of his clothing without being told. Soon the two men had completely stripped each other, leaving their clothing in absolute shreds in a hurry to feel each other.

Edward still laid heavily on Demetri, rolling his hips against the other man's. Demetri undeniably began responding, and was digging his fingers into Edward's lower back, holding him as securely as he could.

Elation buzzed through Edward's system, Demetri was really under him, Demetri still _wanted _him. He wanted to cry and laugh, fly but remain on the ground with his lover.

"Are you going to fuck me, Edward?" Demetri asked, nipping his way down Edward's throat, growling against his adam's apple. Desire left him mute, and Edward could not speak for the throbbing in his groin. He swallowed thickly, his throat moving against Demetri's lips. Edward realized that Demetri was asking Edward to claim him entirely, express his desire and need for him by doing something they had not done before. The thought of burying himself inside of Demetri made him answer.

"Yes," he groaned out, "I am going to fuck you." Edward kissed Demetri again, losing himself completely to the man underneath him. Demetri broke away from Edward and flipped onto his hands and knees.

"Don't you want to face—"

"I want it this way," Demetri interrupted. Edward thought it strange, but was overcome by his ache for Demetri, and would give him whatever he wanted.

Crawling behind him, Edward bent at the waist as his lips reverently traversed Demetri's elegantly sculpted spine before nipping at his buttocks. His hands wanted to be everywhere, beginning in Demetri's mess of hair before kneading his shoulder blades, and finally resting on the small of his back. Watching the muscles in Demetri's back ripple and move fluidly nearly caused Edward to come undone; the quiet concupiscent sounds that escaped Demetri's beautifully parted lips caused Edward to tremble. He looked towards his hand on the small of Demetri's back and brought it closer to his opening. Edward was overpowered by longing to taste Demetri there, and wondered if he would let him.

"May I put my mouth on you here?" Edward asked, while running a single digit across Demetri's backside. He looked backed towards Edward, eyes onyx and hooded, his breath coming out in short gasps. Edward loved that his words had done that to him. Finally, he nodded, biting his lower lip.

Edward wasted no time in bringing his mouth to Demetri's entrance, holding apart the flesh that kept it hidden. Experimentally, Edward's tongue darted out, encircling the sensitive area. Demetri moaned loudly –a resonating, erotic sound—and looked back at Edward licentiously. He felt bolstered by the reaction and brought his tongue to a point and pressed past the tight opening, wiggling his tongue once it was inside. Demetri inhaled sharply and pressed back into Edward's face, causing Edward to dig his fingers into Demetri's flesh to keep him still.

"God…Edward, oh…you have no idea…_nnnn_…" Demetri muttered, lowering his head to the ground and burying his face in his arms, arching his back.

After a few more seconds he abruptly brought his head up and looked at Edward over his shoulder once more. "Do it now. Please, I need you." Demetri's skin was slightly flushed and his expression was wanton. Edward loved him; Edward wanted him; Edward would have him.

Edward kissed his way back up Demetri's spine before brushing Demetri's hair out of the way so he could pay attention to the nape of his neck, all the while grinding his stiffness into Demetri.

"I've wanted to be inside you for so long, Demetri," he said, his words muffled by Demetri's flesh.

"Then don't make me ask again," came the reply as Demetri pressed against Edward.

He obliged by sitting up, taking himself in his hand, then swiping his venom weeping stiffness across Demetri's opening.

"Okay, that's enough," Demetri panted, his hips pressing backwards. Edward willingly conceded and finally began pushing past Demetri's entrance. When Edward was a quarter of the way inside, he thought he would die; once he was halfway there he knew he would live forever, and once he was completely sheathed inside of Demetri's excruciatingly warm and welcoming body, Edward knew there was such a thing as perfection, paradise, Avalon, Heaven, Utopia; whatever label was put on it seemed antiquated because they all meant Demetri.

Edward stilled all movement as both he and Demetri adjusted to the new sensations. Edward's eyes rolled upwards and he could not stop the moan that escaped him when Demetri arched his back, pressing himself firmly against Edward's hips. He knew he would not last long; there was no preventing it. The absolute complete --once unimaginable-- comprehension of being whole would be his undoing. Demetri simply felt too good.

"You…you can…move, Edward," Demetri breathed, once again putting his face in his hands.

"I have to go slow," he replied apologetically, "I'm sorry. Are you ok?" Demetri nodded furrowing his brow. Edward pulled back slowly, the friction just enough to tempt him into going faster. He tried to control his breathing.

_I don't want to finish as quickly as a seventeen year old kid, _Edward thought, trying not to laugh out loud, because that's exactly what he was.

"Go faster. It's ok. Just…please_…_I," Demetri gasped as Edward plunged into him faster than before. "_Yesss…_like that…mmmm…" he practically whimpered as Edward hit that spot inside of him; Edward enjoyed his thoughts almost as much as the feeling of his body embracing him. Edward went faster still, wanting to please him. He already felt his orgasm building, clenching in the pit of his stomach, his toes curling and tingling.

"Do you feel good?" Edward asked, leaning over Demetri's back and grabbing his erection, beginning to stroke it in time with his thrusts.

"Mmmmhmmm," Demetri hummed pursing his lips, closing his eyes. Edward wanted to be able to see him fully without having to stare at him over his shoulder. Abruptly he pulled out of him, flipping him over and looking at him. He lowered his mouth to his and kissed him, trying to make up for the hurt he'd caused, wanting Demetri to understand what he refused to comprehend with words. Demetri broke the kiss and looked at him sadly.

_Will you leave me again? _Demetri thought sorrowfully.

"Don't you know, Demetri?" Edward asked, once again plunging himself into Demetri. Both men groaned in tandem, Demetri throwing back his head, Edward nipping his chin. Edward lifted Demetri's head so that he would once again meet his eyes, and thrust into him. "Don't you remember what I told you?" He thrust again, and Demetri whimpered. "Forever is not something I want without you." Edward thrust into Demetri repeatedly without halting, advancing him closer and closer to the edge. "_You _are my deliverance. No, I never want to be parted from you again." Demetri pulled Edward down to him, hiding his face in the crook of Edward's neck, his sweet breath fanning across Edward's throat.

Edward held Demetri tightly against his body because he knew it was what Demetri needed. He felt Demetri's erection trapped between their two bodies and he started to unwrap his arms from him so that he could fulfill his need.

"No, hold me like this. I don't care about that. I want you close and that's all," Demetri murmured quietly. Edward understood that their coupling had turned from lust into intimacy, and reveled in the joining of their bodies, just as Demetri was.

Rolling his hips into Demetri slowly, Edward made sure that each time Demetri breathed out, he breathed in, his essence becoming a necessity. Even at the slow pace, Edward's climax was about to overwhelm him. Knowing this, Demetri encouraged him to speed up.

"Harder, Edward," Demetri groaned, beginning to press himself upwards, finding the friction of their two bodies writhing together satisfying. Demetri allowed Edward to slip a hand between the two men to add a bit more pressure where it was needed, and it surprised Edward when Demetri's orgasm overcame him.

"Nnnnn….oooh…Edward," Demetri cried, his release coming out in spurts trapped between the two men. Demetri's body clamped down and spasmed around Edward, eliciting moan after moan from Edward as his own release manifested seeming ceaseless and constant, incessant and unbroken.

"Demetri," Edward whispered, once again melding his mouth with Demetri's as the last of his orgasm jolted through his highly sensitive skin; Demetri's body extracted every last bit of bliss it could. Edward collapsed on top of him, and Demetri's fingertips lightly massaged his back.

"I'm so, extremely sorry, Demetri. Please believe me," Edward begged, bringing his face up to look at Demetri.

"It's alright, Edward, we can go again in a few minutes," Edward looked at him quizzically, "Oh, you mean about what happened earlier today?" Demetri chuckled. Edward was relieved to see his humor was back, even if it was at his expense. "I should've waited for an explanation. I am as much to blame as you. I would like to apologize that I didn't have more faith in you."

"It really was my fault. I should have—"

"I don't want to play the 'who's to blame' game, Edward," Demetri huffed, smoothing the hair from Edward's face.

"But I still have to tell you, and you need to listen. All this mess might not have happened if I'd told you sooner. We haven't even really made up yet," Edward said. Demetri gestured for Edward to continue.

"I loved Bella; she broke me completely and changed me beyond recognition." Demetri rolled his eyes. Edward shook him slightly, drawing his attention back. "You put me back together, and rebuilt me the way I was meant to be." Edward's voice lowered, Demetri's expression softened somewhat. "When I think of you, the word love doesn't even begin to cover the tumult that completely seizes me mind and spirit. Love is only four letters, and if I spent forever with every alphabet in every language on every planet I could never come up with the right thing to say to you that would cover it." Edward's thumbs traced the bridge of Demetri's nose before swiping across his jaw. "The way I feel for you is too encompassing to be demeaned by words that once spoken die; it is a feeling, pure and simple. It surpasses anything and everything, leaving me crippled and invincible, messy and clean, uncomplicated and invested. You have to remember that, and believe it," he finished breathlessly. Demetri smirked at him, the only response to Edward's statement a lengthy kiss on the mouth.

Feeling Demetri once again aroused against his stomach, Edward began making love to him again, and there was no need to push back inside him because Edward had never left. More than their bodies connected, and more than words were spoken as they moved together, trying to define with their joining what Edward could not with words.

~*~

Edward helped Demetri to his feet, using the leverage to pull him into a final lengthy embrace. Once he let him go, Demetri looked around perplexedly, wondering loudly what they would do for clothes as he held up the strips of cloth that once covered them.

Laughing loudly, Edward remembered Alice telling him to get everything out of the car before finding Demetri.

"What's so funny, Edward?" Demetri asked, unable to help the chuckle that escaped him.

"Our bags are close by. Alice gave me a heads up; she told me to get out bags out of the car before I came out here," Edward guffawed. Demetri joined him in a full out laugh, partly from embarrassment that Alice knew what they'd be up to out there.

"Okay then, let's prance naked through the wilderness to our clothing. It'll be like Lord of the Flies: The Vampiric Edition. You'll be Piggy," Demetri joked, gesturing Edward to lead. Edward shoved him playfully, and gathered up all their clothing before heading out, unable to justify leaving it in a national park.

The pair quickly found the luggage, dressed, and began the trek back to the car.

"It's funny that Alice told me to get everything and not just clothes," Edward remarked as they grew closer to the spot the car had been left.

"Maybe she just didn't want to go into detail with you?" Demetri suggested. Edward shrugged.

The two men broke out of the covering of the trees to where the car should have been, but it was nowhere to be found. "I guess that would be why," Edward said, still smiling. Even a stolen vehicle could not dampen his mood.

"I don't mind a bit of a walk, do you?" Demetri asked, entwining his fingers with Edward's.

"Not at all," Edward replied bringing Demetri closer so that he could pepper kisses across his face. "I would like to get back to Forks soon, however. I need to properly introduce you to everyone."

"As what exactly? Your friend? Lover? Partner?" Demetri questioned.

"As my everything," Edward answered.

* * *

**End notes: Okay, so I could've drawn their separation out horribly, but I love you guys so I didn't. :) Hope everyone is having a lovely day.**


	13. A Difficult Affirmation

**Author's note: I'm still around! Sorry it's been a while. I had some pretty vicious writer's block, and I feel terribly about it. I'll try not to let it happen again. Thanks for your patience with me. :)**

**This chapter we get some humor and fluff, only mild angst.**

* * *

Edward and Demetri decided it would be best to acquire another vehicle. They were able to rent one easily with the unlimited assets available to them, and within an hour of exiting the park, they were driving back to Forks.

Demetri apologized further for the way he'd handled things, and Edward readily forgave him. He also stated he knew that Edward had come a long way since his arrival in Volterra, and he felt badly for bringing up his selfishness when he had abandoned his family. They both conceded to having acted rashly throughout the course of the day and decided to leave it behind them. After the revelation they'd made that Bella was alive, there was no longer any dark cloud or unspoken ailment in their relationship, and they were free to move forward.

Driving the car, as always, Demetri guided the vehicle without faltering. Edward stopped himself multiple times when he was about to give directions.

"I don't imagine you need me to tell you where we're going, do I?" Edward said, his eyes delighting in Demetri's profile in the low light of evening.

"If it would make you feel useful, freely tell me how to get there," Demetri chuckled. Edward rolled his eyes and clutched Demetri's hand in his. His nerves started returning the closer they got to his family.

"Nervous, Edward?" Demetri asked, obviously concerned.

"Yes, but I'm ready to tell them. I want them to know you're part of me, now," he gulped, "I'm not at all ashamed, simply anxious," Edward clarified.

"I already know how Alice and Carlisle will feel about it. Aren't they your favorites?" Demetri questioned, looking towards Edward.

"I'd never really thought of it that way –I love them all—but I guess if I had to pick favorites, they would be."

"Then there's nothing to be concerned over. Carlisle is the patriarch; they will follow where he leads," Demetri stated.

Edward nodded, hoping that Demetri was right. Carlisle had indeed accepted Demetri for his preferences years ago, but Demetri wasn't his son.

As they turned into the long driveway, Edward let go of Demetri's hand and began straightening his clothing. "I want to ease them in to the conversation, and I don't think walking in holding your hand would help. Is that alright?"

"I understand. I will be mindful of my actions. I've grown so used to touching you whenever I please that it won't be without effort on my part. Maybe you should stand a few feet away from me," Demetri chortled, although he was serious.

"Probably not a bad idea," Edward replied, squeezing Demetri's hand a final time as they parked in front of the towering three-story home that the Cullens occupied.

Unfolding himself from the car, Edward closed the door behind him. He completed the action slower than he normally would, and by the time he heard the door click Demetri was already by his side.

"Take a deep breath," Demetri started, reaching towards Edward then stopping himself, "and let it out." He demonstrated by flaring his nostrils and puffing his chest out and in. Edward smiled.

"Thank you," Edward said. Demetri nodded.

Before they could even reach the bottom step leading to the porch, Alice had already flung the door open, a wide smile and quirked eyebrow gracing her features.

"Everyone is here! They didn't believe me when I swore that you were coming back. You've been gone for ages," Alice laughed, throwing her arms around Edward. That time he returned her embrace properly.

After finally releasing Edward, Alice surprised Demetri by wrapping her arms around him, as well. He was even more surprised when she stood on her tiptoes to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"What was that for, dear? I'm quite certain I was horribly rude before," Demetri said, attempting to make up for his previous lack of charm by returning the kiss on the back of her hand.

Alice smiled and said, "I'm thankful you brought Edward back."

"You would've seen him again regardless," Demetri answered. Alice shook her head.

"You know I don't mean for simply bringing him back to the house. I know all you've done," Alice clarified, tilting her head and smirking. Edward could tell Demetri was uncomfortable with the sentiment.

"Why, you little voyeuristic Puck," Demetri joked. "I should hope you had the decency to look away at some of the more intimate things I've done for him."

"Demetri," Edward warned. He feared his family's heightened sense of hearing would allow them to eavesdrop on everything they said.

"What?" Demetri replied. Edward gestured towards the house and gave Demetri a loaded look. If he continued, Edward was sure he would out them before he got a chance to do it himself.

"Oh, eh, sorry," Demetri apologized, putting his hands in his pockets.

Alice was sincerely embarrassed at Demetri's comment and didn't respond, instead looking towards Edward. "I've already told everyone that you wanted to speak with us. They're waiting in the living room. I knew you wouldn't want a round table discussion for this."

"Thank you, Alice," Edward said, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze before going up the steps. Needing some kind of physical comfort, he continued to hold her hand as they went inside.

As soon as Edward stepped indoors, five sets of golden eyes turned towards him, and he took another deep breath. His former home looked unchanged since the last time he'd stepped inside. Still, it felt oddly foreign; he realized although it had not been altered, he, no doubt, had.

"Hello, everyone," Edward greeted, forcing himself to smile. He glanced over the faces that he'd missed so very much, and the knot of nerves that had formed in his stomach relaxed some, his smile becoming more genuine.

Emmett and Rosalie had been seated on the loveseat, but Emmett had risen to his feet when Edward walked in. Jasper sat on the arm of the sofa, and Carlisle and Esme were already making their way over to him.

"Edward," Esme said as she approached him. "I hate that we've had to have our reunion under these circumstances. I know this is hard for you." She hugged him tightly as she spoke.

Edward looked towards Carlisle once Esme had released him. He searched his face for any signs of disappointment or disgust, but all he saw was the man who had been his father figure for longer than he'd had an actual father. Carlisle affectionately clasped Edward's hand in both of his before pulling him into a hug.

"It's good to see you, son," Carlisle said. Edward had missed Carlisle's advice and guidance, but at that moment all he was hoping for was his acceptance.

"And I'm glad to see you, as well," Edward replied.

After he had greeted Carlisle and Esme, Edward fully entered the living room, and Emmett slung his arms around him, clapping him on the back.

"Missed you, bro," Emmett said, grinning.

Rosalie nodded towards Edward, her lips pulled thin, her attempt at smiling seeming more like a grimace. Jasper remained standoffish, undoubtedly because of the mixed emotions Edward was emanating; however, he did offer a warm smile.

Demetri stood several feet away from Edward as he officially reunited with his family; Edward was reminded of the task before him when he read Demetri's awkward thoughts. Edward knew it was time to make formal introductions, and his breathing sped up involuntarily.

Jasper narrowed his gaze at Edward. "Why so tense, Edward?" he asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

Edward shifted his gaze over his shoulder to Demetri, who looked back at him with raised eyebrows. He nodded as encouragement.

_The door is wide open for you, Edward, _Demetri thought.

_It will be fine, Edward. We love you. _Alice's musings bolstered him.

Every other thought in the room was curious, save Carlisle's, who was suspicious. Edward once again looked towards the man who introduced him into that life, searching his thoughts, none of them off-putting.

"Edward, why don't you and Demetri sit?" Carlisle encouraged, gesturing towards the sofa while he and Esme sat on the other loveseat. Edward was thankful for the suggestion; he already felt on display enough.

Edward dragged his feet to the couch and sat, Demetri following. Edward sat in the middle cushion, Demetri on his left, Alice on his right next to where Jasper perched.

Once everyone was seated, they all returned to looking at Edward expectantly.

"Er," Edward mumbled, trying to find the correct words to address such a sensitive issue. He cursed himself, knowing that an incomplete word was not going to get across a point.

"Just spit it out, Edward. The only thing you're accomplishing by stalling is irritating us," Rosalie said, attempting to speak for everyone.

"Rose," Esme reprimanded. "What has gotten into you?" Edward always found it endearing how Esme pretended that Rosalie wasn't always impatient.

"No, Esme, she's right," Edward started, his eyes flitting about the room taking in each expression before beginning.

"First of all, I want to apologize for running off earlier. I haven't seen all of you in months, and that was no way to handle things. I also want to apologize for leaving for Volterra in the first place. It was selfish of me: leaving without any parting words. My only thoughts were of _my_ anguish and ending _my_ suffering. Everything fell by the wayside, including my family; for that, I eternally implore your forgiveness. I love you all, and I hope we can move past my petty self-absorption. Believe when I tell you I have changed."

Carlisle started to say something, but Edward cut him off saying, "Let me finish before any of you say anything." Carlisle closed his mouth and nodded.

"I have changed," Edward started again. "You all know --better than my own imagining, I'm sure—that it's not a change I could have made on my own. For decades now, you've all witnessed my self-hatred and voluntary isolation. Much of it was arrogance, but I've also found it to have been a large dose of ignorance, as well. Even my relationship with Bella…well, you all saw how in some ways, I loathed myself more after engaging in a romance with her.

"Although I've been working with the Volturi for several months, I have felt more comfortable with myself than I ever have. Do not for a moment think it's because I enjoy what I am made to do, because I most certainly do not, but I have learned how to move forward. I've accepted what I am, who I am, and how to be content with existing endlessly."

Edward looked at Demetri to his left. He didn't know how his family wasn't already aware of what he was about to divulge, because even though he was as far away on the sofa as possible, Demetri's affection was splashed all over his face. As though on cue, Jasper's thoughts joined Carlisle's in their suspicion.

Reaching towards Demetri and lifting his hand, Edward wove their fingers together and squeezed. "Everyone, this is Demetri. He is…" Edward paused, chuckling. Words were failing him again. "He's everything to me, and I love him."

Edward let out a long, slow breath, and finally garnered the courage to rip his gaze from Demetri and take in his family's reactions. The most prominent –not at all surprisingly—was shock. Rosalie was smug, congratulating herself and feeling confident in the knowledge that Edward hadn't wanted her because he obviously couldn't have, seeing as how he had just admitted he was gay.

No one had spoken yet and Edward was growing anxious. Slowly, Emmett rose to his feet, walking towards where Edward sat on the sofa. He reached out a hand and placed it on Edward's shoulder, his mouth in a thin line.

"Edward," Emmett started, "It's okay. When I first saw Bruce Willis in Die Hard, my mind went somewhere else completely." He nodded profusely, his thoughts honest.

"He's serious," Jasper said, cringing. Everyone looked towards Jasper who then mouthed, "Lust," eliciting quiet chuckles throughout the room.

"Demetri," Emmett said, "It's awesome to meet you, man." Emmett extended his arm towards Demetri and shook his hand heartily. Edward was almost giddy with relief; Emmett's reaction was one he had feared the most.

Edward returned to perusing the minds of his family around the room, still looking for the acceptance he desperately craved from each of them. They all took turns approaching Edward and Demetri, shaking hands and welcoming; even Rosalie was more agreeable than Edward had expected. It seemed as though by choosing to love a man he had returned a large chunk of her self-confidence that he had taken when he had show disinterest in her so long ago.

Everyone had expressed some type of sentiment after Edward's admission, except for --to Edward's complete surprise-- Esme. She still lingered behind Carlisle appearing reluctant, her thoughts conflicted. Feeling as though he'd been punched in the gut, Edward was afraid to ask Esme why she had yet to approach him. When considering the reactions his family would have to his relationship, Esme's acceptance had never been one he would've questioned. She had been nothing but loving, forgiving, and warm since Edward had known her. Even when he had left her and Carlisle while he rebelled, she still forgave him readily. Would this be the one thing she could possibly have a problem with?

"Esme?" Edward said, walking towards her with outstretched arms. Her normally kind features were drawn up with worry.

"Edward," she finally started, "I don't know what to say." Her statement was truthful because her thoughts were indecipherable.

"What do you mean? Are you...angry or disappointed? With me?" Edward pressed, the urge to hide himself creeping over him. Opening and closing her mouth a few times, Esme tried to collect her thoughts while shaking her head.

"No, Edward. I could never be angry or disappointed with you. I'm simply...shocked. I never would have guessed..." she tapered off. Carlisle approached them, as did Demetri who placed a comforting hand on Edward's shoulder.

"Dear, I think that Edward is looking for acceptance from us. What he's admitted was very difficult for him. Try your best to make him understand what you mean," Carlisle encouraged.

"I guess, what I mean, Edward, is that...well, I...and please understand, Demetri, I mean no offense to you...what about Bella, Edward? Is there no chance the two of you...? I'm sorry, but, don't you want to try to get her back at all?" Esme stuttered.

"Esme, Bella is with Jacob Black. I assumed you knew that. Even if she wasn't I'm in love with Demetri," Edward said. Esme broke his gaze and looked down at her hands, her thoughts confused.

"Esme," Edward said again, trying to bring her attention back. "I'm in love with Demetri, who is a man, and I am gay. I could never be happy with Bella. Do you understand? I don't hate myself anymore. I no longer feel like I'm missing something."

"Okay, Edward. Yes, I understand. It's simply a shock. I love you and, of course, I accept you no matter who you decide to love. Honestly, it's not something I would've ever chosen for you, but I want you to be happy. Please forgive me for being so rude, Demetri," Esme reached out towards Demetri, "You're welcome here. Thank you for watching out for my son."

Demetri smiled at her cautiously, obviously unsure of what to think. "Thank you," he replied.

Edward couldn't have anticipated things going over any better; perhaps things had occurred differently than what he'd planned, but no one had rejected him or Demetri. Not wanting to dwell on Esme's reaction any longer, Edward returned to his seated position.

"So, can someone fill me in on what's been happening here in my absence?" Edward said. The others followed his lead and returned to their seats as well. Alice spoke first.

"We became aware of the murders in Seattle. I tried to see what was happening and it was difficult, as though someone knew how to trick my ability. Jasper felt that what was occurring in Seattle had to be newborns, and we put two and two together. Laurent had been in Denali, and we know from my vision of him and Bella in the meadow that he'd been in contact with Victoria. We assumed the knowledge he'd gained about us in Denali was relayed to Victoria, and she was using that knowledge to block me and build an army. I'd gone to Forks right after I'd had the vision of Bella to help Charlie any way I could, and found her alive."

"So long ago you knew she was alive?" Edward mumbled.

"I had no way of contacting you, Edward, or I would have," Alice stressed. Edward understood completely but was shocked all the same.

"It was Bella that told me Victoria was still around, and that the pack was keeping her safe. We all moved back when we realized what Victoria was up to, and once she'd made a solid decision about when she would attack we were ready. Bella placed her scent in that clearing, and the wolves helped us pick them off," she relayed, speeding through her explanation.

"Sounds like I've missed quite a bit," Edward stated lamely. "What about the fight with the newborns? How did the wolf die?"

"That was...extremely unfortunate," Carlisle chimed in. "Jacob Black was compromised. Embry Call threw himself between Jacob and Victoria; they were able to take her down, but she had already bitten Embry numerous times. As you know, I went to try to help where I could, but he our venom practically petrifies the wolves." Carlisle's expression was downtrodden; he was not at all familiar with being useless in a medical situation. "I gave him as much morphine as I had. I hope it helped."

"That is truly horrible," Edward said.

"It is," Carlisle replied. "Billy Black --Jacob's father-- told me the funeral would be the day after tomorrow. He asked that we all go. It's a huge gesture on their part, and I feel that we should attend. I suggested only being present for the graveside service, seeing as how a pack of werewolves and vampires in a crowded church would cause a significant amount of tension on top of what has already happened."

A solemn silence filled the room while Edward nodded. He and Demetri needed to get in touch with Aro to make sure they could remain a few extra days. It would be difficult because he knew Aro would want an explanation that Edward could not give just yet. The implications of what Aro would find out once he got back to Volterra started to sink in. Most likely, once Aro discovered Bella was alive, he would want to have her killed. He also had to consider the pack. Would Aro want to eliminate them, as well?

As though knowing what Edward was thinking about, Demetri reached over and squeezed his knee before standing. "I'll go call Aro and let him know we'll be here a few days. Don't worry, E, I'll make sure to keep my explanations as cryptic as possible. Perhaps he'll be so thrilled about his new toy that he won't mind. You never told me what that Kelly newborn can do, by the way. I'll expect details when I get back," Demetri said. "If you'll all excuse me, I will return in a few moments." He bowed slightly and exited the house.

After Demetri left, they all sat in a somewhat awkward silence. Of course, Emmett was the one to break it.

"So, Edward," he started, a wide grin spreading across his face, "you lose your V card yet?"

"What?" Edward asked, unsure of what Emmett meant and positive he didn't want to know.

"Are you still a virgin?" Emmett clarified, laughing out loud.

"Emmett, that is not that type of conversation I want to have. Keep your crude questions and comments to yourself, please," Edward answered, embarrassment causing his voice to rise. He might as well have answered yes or no, because what he did say was practically an admission.

"He did," Jasper added. "He's so embarrassed right now."

"Alright, Eddie! Way to make the best of a bad situation! Who's bottom?" Emmett asked, causing everyone to groan, except for Jasper who was chuckling openly.

"Emmett!" Rosalie, Carlisle, Alice and Esme all said at once.

"What?!"

~*~

Demetri had somehow been able to convince Aro to let him and Edward stay three more days in Forks. Apparently he was so distracted with Kelly's ability that he barely even asked questions as to what was happening.

Edward was warmed by the way Demetri had been accepted by his family; Emmett and Jasper had even taken Demetri and Edward hunting, though it wasn't needed due to them gorging themselves before the fight with the newborns. Edward relished seeing the interaction between them, especially between Jasper and Demetri. The fact that they bonded over horribly violent stories was overlooked by Edward, and he was simply grateful they were getting along.

Before he was ready, two days had passed and it was time for Embry's funeral. Edward knew that he needed to approach Jacob Black and request that he bring Bella to the house; they all needed to discuss some things and most importantly the repercussions the events of the battle with the newborns would have on the wolves.

Edward and Demetri drove their rental car to the cemetary, the mood somber. Edward had not attended a funeral since he had been a very young human. After his parents died he was a newborn vampire who couldn't control himself, and with the Influenza killing so many, only few got proper ceremonies anyway. He already felt awkward and out of place and they hadn't even made it there yet.

Once they had arrived, Edward could not spot Bella. He did, however, see Jacob Black with a few members of the pack and decided to ask him for a quick word before the services started.

Edward approached him cautiously --Demetri close behind-- trying to read his thoughts. After everything that had happened, he wanted to make sure that Jacob didn't carry some sort of grudge against him; not that he would've blamed him if he had.

"Jacob," Edward said. "May I have a word with you?" Jacob gave him a long look and glanced towards Demetri before nodding. Edward didn't lead him anywhere. It would've been pointless to try to keep their conversation a secret from the rest of the pack.

"I think it would be beneficial if you and Bella came over for a bit this evening, after things have settled down. I'm sure Bella still has some questions on my whereabouts and activities over the last few months, and I'm not sure how much she's told you about the organization I work for, but we need to speak on how what I do affects you now, as well," Edward muttered. He spoke quickly enough to keep their conversations from human ears.

"Would there be any way we could maybe come by tomorrow?" Jacob asked warily.

"We'll be leaving tomorrow morning, Demetri and I, to go back to Italy. I know this is an inopportune time, but it's important that we meet. Come as late as you need," Edward continued.

Jacob sighed heavily and rubbed the back of his neck. "Okay. Most likely it'll be late tonight."

Nodding and holding out his hand, Edward said, "Thank you, Jacob." Jacob took his hand, giving Edward a curt nod.

Hearing more car doors slamming behind him, Edward turned around and saw the arrival of the rest of his family. Jasper's thoughts were already a mess with the tumult of emotions he was being assaulted with. Edward could empathize with him somewhat, as the thoughts of the mourners were also difficult to handle.

Edward, along with Demetri and the rest of his family, stayed back until all of the Quileutes and close friends were gathered around the spot they would be burying Embry. They all moved closer once everyone was situated and Edward was very aware of Demetri's hand on his lower back. Under normal circumstances he wouldn't have thought about it, but in this very public place, he simply hoped that Demetri didn't take it any farther.

Edward saw Bella standing close to Jacob, and he couldn't help but stare. She noticed, meeting his gaze and smiling sadly at him. He returned her smile half-heartedly and Demetri laid a hand on his shoulder. Bella turned her eyes towards Demetri and seemed perplexed. Fruitlessly, Edward searched her thoughts. The months since their parting had not changed the fact he still could not read her mind.

Jacob placed his hand on Bella's elbow, refocusing her attention on Embry's casket that had been placed above the large hole where he would be put in the ground. Looking down at his feet, Edward tried to tune out all the thoughts of mourners. Watching what remained of Embry being put in place was overwhelming to many people.

Demetri's thoughts grew curious, and Edward was silently thankful because they were drowning out the sorrowful ones. Looking towards Demetri once more, Edward noticed his brow was furrowed as he stared at Bella. Edward nudged him.

_I can't find her Edward. She's standing a few feet away and I have no clue where she is, _Demetri thought. Edward had almost been certain this would be the case, and was somewhat satisfied that it wasn't only his ability that failed to work on Bella. Demetri was as uncomfortable with it as Edward had been, probably more so.

_It will be horribly difficult to convince Aro that she should not be changed. _Edward nodded minutely. The task of convincing Aro would be complicated, and not one to which he was looking forward.

Edward noticed that Bella returned Demetri's stare unfailingly.

_She is very brave, _Demetri thought.

Edward had to stifle a chuckle. If only Demetri knew exactly how ridiculously brave Bella Swan was. He had always felt her bravado had bordered on stupidity. Not that he ever thought Bella was stupid; she had simply never seemed to fully grasp how dangerous he was. He would have to explain to her and Jacob the danger they were in currently, and only hoped she would heed his warnings.

Edward tried not to look surprised when he gathered from the thoughts around him that Embry had actually been Jacob's half-brother, and that many of the people present hadn't found out until that day. Apparently, Billy Black had stood up and let it be known that Embry was his son. It seemed as though he had been very much in love with Embry's mother when they were young, and a miscommunication had broken them apart, until one night they found each other again. Embry had been the result of that one night, but, obviously, Billy had been married at the time due to the age proximity of Embry and Jacob. Billy still loved Embry's mother after years of separation. For the first time, Edward felt grateful that he was a vampire. He had lived for over a century and was still given the chance at love; these humans would soon be withered and old. Did they not feel the seconds, moments, and hours ticking away?

Death was such an ugly, vile thing. To think that Edward had only months before sought it out; he would've left his family broken and devastated as these people were. Edward was comforted that Demetri was as immortal as he was, and they would never have to lament a broken heart due to death. Glancing to his right, Edward looked at Demetri. He wanted to reach out to him, to touch him, to solidify his place next to him, but there were so many people. As though he knew Edward was troubled, Demetri placed a hand on the small of his back once more and began methodically rubbing a small circle, never changing his posture.

Lost in his musings, Edward had not realized the service was over until Demetri tugged on the sleeve of his jacket.

"Where did you go, Edward?" Demetri asked, following Edward to the passenger side and opening his door.

"I was thinking about life and death, Aro and Bella," Edward said, sliding into his seat.

"Ooh, heavy things. We'll figure it all out," Demetri replied, closing the door and going around to the driver's seat. His confidence kept Edward level-headed in a situation he might have normally let consume him with worry and trepidation.

"Promise to spend forever with me?" Edward blurted once Demetri had settled into the driver's seat. Why he needed further confirmation he was unsure.

Demetri's fingertips swept over Edward's forehead taming the strands that had fallen in his eyes.

"Edward, I can promise you more than that. I'm convinced that even when our maker sees fit that we should be turned to dust, I will still find a way to you," Demetri said, further rooting himself into Edward's never-changing heart.

Unable to stop the smile that bloomed across his face, Edward leaned in, pressing his mouth against Demetri's, no longer caring who might see.

"Now, stop asking me silly questions you already know the answers to," Demetri said, before turning towards the steering wheel. Edward placed his hand on Demetri's knee as he started the car.

"Take me back to the house," Edward said. "The only people that will be home are Emmett and Rosalie."

"My, my, Edward, are you being suggestive?"

Somewhere throughout his time with Demetri, Edward had lost the will to be embarrassed about his want for the other man, so he nodded. "I think it's the closest we'll find to being alone while here, and I don't want to wait until we're back in Volterra," Edward said.

Demetri pulled away from the curb and exited the cemetery as quickly as he could and still be considered respectful.

* * *

**End notes: Ok, so, there are only a few chapters left. What do you think should happen with these two? I'd love to hear your thoughts. I appreciate each and every one of you that read this story. As I've said before I know it's an odd pairing, but I've really enjoyed writing this and knowing that even a few people have enjoyed it warms my little heart. So thank you! Love and hugs for each of you.**

**By the way, this story had been nominated for an Indie award, and I want to thank whoever did that. It's been eliminated now, but I was very flattered.**

**The snippet of a backstory about Embry's parentage came from a companion story to mine called 'Til Death Do Us Part' by GracieBlack28. She has started a novella length story about Billy Black's relationship with Embry's mother called Patchwork Soul that can be found here and on Twilighted.**


	14. Solidarity

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, blah, blah, blah, or the characters blah, blah, blah. I don't get any money for writing this, yadda, yadda, ya.**

**Author's note: So, it seems like the majority of you wanted to see more smut. Well, a story can get awful boring with just a bunch of smut, don't you think? (lol, seriously) Lucky for you, I already had some planned for this chapter. :) We get some humor here, too, before we arrive back in Volterra. Enjoy.**

* * *

Edward tugged Demetri behind him as he ascended the staircase in the Cullen home. They had mumbled a greeting as they passed Rosalie and Emmett in the living room, leaving Rosalie scowling and Emmett chuckling.

Demetri's thoughts on the drive to the house had done nothing for Edward's rapidly growing arousal; never in his imaginings had he considered how _inconvenient _his gift could be in those types of situations. He had handled himself with the utmost propriety when reading intimate thoughts from others, and they had never affected him; of course, those were errant musings not coming from the man he longed for, desired, and loved.

Thinking back, Edward remembered all the times he had passed ridicule and judgment on impious urges, but hearing Demetri's wicked thoughts, he was nothing but thrilled.

Reaching Edward's room on the third floor, the two men shut the door behind them, and Edward took a moment to look at Demetri. His eyes were dark and hooded, nostrils flared, his chest rising and falling, his thoughts full of want. Grabbing the collar of his neatly pressed shirt, Edward brought Demetri within an inch of his face, before pressing their mouths together.

"Tell me what you want me to do," he whispered against Demetri's lips as he closed his eyes, the smoothness of the mouth against his rousing something deep in his stomach. The need to please Demetri was weakening his legs, and lust twisted its way through his body. Edward ached. Demetri moaned.

_I want in here, _Demetri thought, bringing his index finger to Edward's mouth. His lips throbbed from the light touch, but the sensation was faint in comparison to the pressure he felt in another part of his body. Edward wanted nothing more than to hear Demetri groan in satisfaction due to the physical release he could provide.

Reaching out, Edward clutched Demetri's hips and brought them flush with his own, his aching flesh demanding some kind of friction. Edward removed Demetri's jacket and untucked his shirt as he guided him to the sofa, their lips melding.

_Mmm, I love your mouth around my cock, Edward._

_Cock, _Edward thought. That was a word he had previously thought as repugnant and dirty, and it was dirty, but in Demetri's thoughts it was thoroughly stimulating.

"Will you say that out loud?" Edward said, breaking their kiss, keeping his eyes closed.

"What? I love your mouth around my cock? You know I do," Demetri panted, knowing exactly what Edward was asking. Desire flowed through his system, and Edward pushed Demetri into a seated position, his back to the door. Dropping to his knees, Edward smoothly unzipped Demetri's trousers, the sound of the metal teeth providing percussion to match his rapidly increasing breath.

_You're so eager. _

_"God," _Edward said, as he revealed Demetri. The sight of his ardor physically manifested made Edward's animalism mount, and he groaned quietly as he parted his lips taking the tip in his mouth. Swirling his tongue around the top, he elicited a deep, warm moan from Demetri, so he did it again.

Demetri was having trouble keeping his hips still as Edward took him deeper into his mouth. Feeling Demetri's hands go into his hair, Edward allowed a feral growl to reverberate in his chest; his fervor and his pride increased with each lovely murmur, sigh, or moan that tumbled from Demetri's parted lips.

"Oh, Edward, _fuck,_" Demetri said, clutching Edward's hair tighter, pushing himself deeper. Edward willingly took Demetri's entire length in his mouth and swallowed; it was followed by a loud thud, as Demetri's head fell to the back of the sofa.

The _dirty_ words that Demetri was using did nothing to lessen the venom rushing to Edward's groin. He sat up momentarily so that he could pull Demetri's trousers down further, also unzipping his own due to his straining erection.

Returning his attention to Demetri, he gave him a long, slow lick from base to tip before covering him with his mouth again, grasping what did not go in his mouth with his hand.

_Damn, Edward, so fucking good, _Demetri thought as he mumbled nonsensically. Edward could no longer deal without some kind of friction, so with his free hand, he started stroking himself; he wanted to cry out with relief, but sighed instead.

_You're so gorgeous, sucking my cock and touching yourself…_

Edward's aching want for Demetri snaked its way down his spine, coiling itself tightly in his abdomen, his full body trembling.

"Out loud," Edward repeated after releasing Demetri once more.

"You're so perfect, taking pleasure from pleasing me…nnnnn…_Edward, _don't stop," Demetri mumbled.

"_Yes,_" Edward said, taking Demetri again and increasing the speed and pressure of his hand on himself.

"So good, I'm so close," Demetri panted, his hips moving erratically.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Edward thought he heard a door open, but dismissed it, until he heard a low voice say, "I _knew_ it," followed by a gasp.

Edward was immediately too embarrassed to raise his head, and he realized a very familiar scent had filled the room, along with that of a wet dog. Burying his face in Demetri's lap, he could not bring himself to look towards the voice.

"You must be Bella," Demetri said, Edward hearing the mirth in his voice; he seemed amused they had been caught. Knowing he could not hide forever, Edward raised his face and peeked over the back of the sofa to see a very shocked, red-faced Bella. Their eyes met, and Edward had never felt so mortified. He looked away as Demetri chuckled. Edward frantically wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist.

Edward had not even taken note of Jacob Black in the room until he started tugging Bella out the door. He was the one who had spoken.

"We'll wait for you guys downstairs," Jacob snickered as he shut the door.

Filled with embarrassment, Edward once again hid his face between Demetri's knees and concentrated on breathing in and out. Never in his life had he been caught in such a precarious position and the situation was worsened by who had caught him. He had not even had the chance to tell Bella yet about his orientation. She was more than aware now; she had actually witnessed it firsthand.

"Oh, God, oh, God," Edward muttered, trying to think of the best way to handle the situation. He wanted to stay hidden in his room, and pretend what had just happened never had.

"What's wrong, Edward?" Demetri asked. Edward raised his head to look at him in disbelief.

"Do you really need to ask that?" he replied.

"Were you not planning on telling her?"

"Yes, I was, but—"

"Well, then you've saved yourself the awkward moments building up to an explanation. This is a good thing, E," Demetri interrupted.

"This is good?" Edward breathed, shaking his head. "What are they doing here anyway? Jacob said it would be late tonight."

Standing up, Edward started trying to put himself back together. He ran his hands through his hair attempting to straighten it and tried to stuff his still turgid erection back into his trousers. He was appalled that he was still so thoroughly aroused after being interrupted.

"What are you doing?" Demetri questioned, a sideways smirk on his face.

"Exactly what it looks like; righting myself properly and going downstairs to handle this," Edward answered, tucking in his shirt.

"Edward, I don't think you can be very proper with that big problem below your belt," Demetri snickered. "That's what needs to be handled first."

Edward thought he must have misunderstood him. Surely Demetri was not suggesting they finish what they had started? Admittedly, the way Demetri's voice lowered as he spoke had Edward considering it. He turned his back on Demetri and rubbed his face with his hands; it would be horribly improper to let Demetri have his way.

"We can't, Demetri," Edward stated firmly. Before he could move from the spot he stood in, he felt Demetri's arms wrap around him from behind, one hand going into his trousers and grasping his stiffness. Edward moaned involuntarily as Demetri palmed him.

"Mmm, that's not helping," Edward said, leaning back against Demetri, grinding his backside against the other man.

"I would beg to differ," Demetri hummed against Edward's ear, the heated breath he expelled fanning across Edward's throat, a new wave of lust swelling. Demetri's free hand aptly unfastened Edward's trousers, so he could stroke him fully.

"Do you know what I was thinking about on the way here?" Demetri asked, taking Edward's earlobe between his teeth, applying the tiniest of pressure.

"Yes, I do," Edward breathed, tilting his head further to the side so that Demetri could trail kisses down his throat.

"That's right. You do, don't you? May I?"

Edward took several quick breaths as his flesh burned from Demetri's lips. "MmmHmm," Edward hummed.

"Ah, ah, Edward, can you not return me the courtesy of saying out loud what you want me to do?" Demetri said playfully.

"I want you from behind."

"What do you want from behind?" Demetri pressed, increasing the rhythm of his hand around Edward.

"You know," Edward whispered. Demetri answered by nipping lightly just underneath Edward's collar.

"Please, say it, Edward," he practically begged.

"I want you to…fuck me from behind," Edward muttered, Demetri's arms the only thing holding him steady. Edward felt like a parasite in Demetri's head, but he could not get enough of the licentious thoughts and images he found there. He continued to press and search for more, thirsty to know all that would please him, hungry to know what he desired.

One-handed, Demetri unbuttoned Edward's shirt, tracing his hand over Edward's abdomen as he led him to the sofa, bending him over the arm. Demetri started tugging Edward's trousers over his hips, wasting no time getting to the point; Edward was pleased and felt as though it had been ages since his last release.

Naked from the waist down, Edward felt exposed, until he felt Demetri's firm hips slide against his buttocks and the whisper of fingertips across his back.

There were no more words spoken as Demetri prepared Edward. Edward buried his face in the couch cushions and allowed his lasciviousness to rise higher than he could have known possible. He unabashedly pushed his hips back, begging Demetri with his physicality to take him. Edward had never before felt so wanton, and never before had he cared less.

Demetri answered Edward's silent pleas, and began sliding into him. Once, he'd given Edward a moment to adjust, he immediately picked up speed, thrusting and rolling his hips.

Fingers grasping and clawing at the sofa, Edward groaned each time Demetri pressed against that spot inside of him. He loved the man that was bringing him that kind of gratification, but knew that what they were doing was about release; he did not mind.

"_Fuck_, Edward…" Demetri panted, the sounds of their flesh meeting ringing in Edward's ears as he reached down to grasp his needy erection. Edward squeezed his engorged flesh and moved his hand once, then twice, and on the third stroke, came with a shocked growl, biting his lip to keep his volume down.

Leaning over Edward's back, Demetri clutched Edward's hips with a ferocious grip, and found his release a few seconds after Edward. Pressing open-mouthed kisses across Edward's neck and shoulders, Demetri murmured his love to Edward, since their mutual need had been sated.

Edward stood up from his position bent over the sofa, and brought Demetri's hands around his torso and placed gentle kisses across his open palms. Looking over his shoulder, Edward sought out Demetri's lips, and they shared a lingering kiss as they recovered.

"You're a bad influence on me," Edward chuckled.

"It's a good thing you love me enough to overlook it then," Demetri replied.

The pair cleaned up and dressed, Edward's embarrassment returning when faced with going downstairs, especially when three out of the four people down there had super-human hearing and would know what took them so long. He decided it was no more mortifying than actually being caught doing it. Emmett and Rosalie would get an earful later about not stopping Jacob and Bella.

Edward descended the stairs slowly, Demetri matching his pace with a knowing smirk playing at his lips. Once they were almost to the bottom, Demetri started humming _Heart & Soul _and Edward nudged him, winking and smiling. Adoration for Demetri and his easy-going nature soothed Edward's nervousness, and he felt hopeful about the conversation he was about to have.

"I can't seem to be upset too long with you here," Edward whispered, quiet enough that Bella would not hear. "I completely adore you."

Demetri's grin widened into a smile. "That was my plan all along," he replied.

Edward reached the bottom of the staircase and entered the living room, giving Emmett a pointed look.

"I think we need to go for a hunt, Rose," Emmett stated, rising to his feet and pulling Rosalie along with him. Emmett went out the door, and Rosalie followed while grumbling, slamming the door behind them.

Taking Emmett's place, Edward sat on the love seat, Demetri sitting beside him. Edward was acutely aware of Demetri's warm thigh pressing against his, and he was able to look at Bella and speak.

"Bella, Jacob. It seems as though I have some explanations to make. This is Demetri, my…er…" Edward stuttered, still battling with the right word that summed up everything Demetri was to him.

"Partner, boyfriend, lover, mate…" Demetri interrupted, giving Bella a list from which to choose. He smiled at her coyly, and Edward reached over to put his hand on Demetri's knee, confirming the statement that had been made.

Edward continued to look at Bella, awaiting some type of reaction, but she continued to gape, open-mouthed.

"I've been so looking forward to meeting you, Bella. Why, just yesterday, while E and I were in bed, I was telling him how good it was that we decided to have this little get together." Demetri said, still smiling warmly at Bella as he placed his hand over Edward's, holding it in place on his thigh. Edward almost wanted to chuckle, despite his embarrassment at Demetri's statement. It seemed as though he was trying to claim his territory, because they had not had such a talk, and they had not spent any time in bed together since their arrival.

A deep blush darkened Bella's face at the insinuation, and she looked at her clasped hands in her lap. Demetri's thoughts were satisfied.

Surprisingly, it was Jacob that spoke up. "So, how did you two meet?" he said, chuckling at Bella's abashed behavior. Jacob's thoughts were light and Edward was extremely relieved by that; truly, he did not wish the revelation of his orientation to be laughable, but, knowing what Jacob Black had been through recently, he was glad he could offer some reprieve.

"As you know, I've joined the Volturi guard," Edward began. "I was driven to Volterra after Alice's vision of you, Bella, in the meadow with Laurent. At the time, she wasn't able to see the outcome, and no matter how she tried, she could not see anything in your future." Edward paused to glance at Demetri before turning his attention back to Bella. "I didn't want to go on without you, so I left immediately for Volterra, thinking that I would be sentenced to death-"

"Why?" Bella breathed, interrupting Edward.

"Do you remember the one rule we must follow?" Edward asked quietly, looking down and brushing imaginary lint from his pants. He knew Bella would feel guilty, even though she had no reason. She seemed to ponder what he had said for a few moments before she responded.

"You thought they would kill you, because I knew about your family?" Bella asked, her eyes widening. Edward loathed not being able to read her mind; he squirmed in his seat in discomfort.

"Yes, but I was denied my request and compelled to remain in Volterra as a member of the guard. I saw it as a sentence worse than death, obviously, but felt there was nothing I could do to change my situation. I did not feel that I deserved to find happiness, and I missed my family, and you, terribly. It was a difficult time for me…but Demetri," Edward leaned into Demetri, "saw some redeeming quality in me. He wouldn't give up until he convinced me I could find contentment in life, even while being forced to remain in Volterra," he finished, looking at Bella once again, a large weight lifted from him. He hoped she would not hate him.

"You mustn't forget, E, that Alice knew you would find your place in Volterra," Demetri added.

_Is it wrong that I find his possessiveness right now somewhat endearing? _Edward thought while watching Demetri. In a normal situation, Edward would have been a bit annoyed by Demetri's pointed comments, but could not deny how lovely it felt to be wanted. Plus, he appreciated knowing that underneath Demetri's bravado, he could still feel insecure.

The two couples spent the next hour exchanging pleasantries. Mostly, Jacob spoke, and prodded Bella when she did not participate enough in the conversation. Edward had to nudge Demetri several times when he contemplated sharing something that might be too grisly while speaking about their work with the Volturi. Eventually, the conversation came back to the most important reason they had needed to get together: the implications of Bella's survival on her life, the wolves, and Edward's family.

"Aro will know about the pack," Edward started. "He has a gift similar to mine, allowing him to see every thought someone has had, just by touching the person. I know he will see that the wolves are protecting you, and he will certainly be hesitant to become involved in a battle with such a formidable opponent." He only hoped that his statement was true.

Jacob bristled at Edward's words and he quickly added, "I do not wish to cause trouble. I merely want you to be prepared. Alice will be keeping tabs on any decisions the Volturi make regarding you. She will remain in contact, and Demetri and I will try to do so as well. Don't worry yourself over this. We will all work to ensure that you remain protected." Edward meant every word; he would fight against the members of the guard, even the ones he considered friends, to protect those he left behind in Forks.

"Will you be going back to Volterra then?" Bella asked. Her voice had a trace of sadness marring its tone. Edward's home was Volterra, but he would miss the people in Forks.

"Yes. Aro granted us a few days extra to remain in Forks and visit my family, but the others have already returned and we will be flying out tomorrow," Edward answered.

At that moment, Emmett's booming voice echoed from the garage; Bella jumped as though she had been startled. A brief look of contemplation flashed across her features and she got to her feet.

"We should go. I'm sure your family will be home soon, and you'll want to be with them," she said, taking Jacob's hand and urging him towards the door.

"And we do need to get back to La Push…everyone will be at Lyla's," Jacob added; Lyla had been Embry's mother.

"Ah, yes, please offer our condolences to Billy and Lyla. We are so sorry for your loss," Demetri stated as he stood.

"Please do," Edward repeated, rising with Demetri.

Bella had yet to make any comment on how she felt about Edward's confession, and, since he could not read her mind, he had no idea if she was disgusted, angry, or hurt. He assumed he would simply be left wondering. He was disappointed, but relieved that she had not reacted badly. No reaction was better than a horrified one.

Edward and Demetri walked Bella and Jacob outside to their vehicle. Edward smiled a bit when he saw Bella's beat up red truck; the old beast refused to die.

Demetri put an arm around Edward as Jacob opened the passenger side door for Bella. She looked at the pair of them and a charming smile curled the corners of her mouth.

"Edward," Bella started. "I can tell you're happy. That's not something I can claim from the time you and I spent together," she looked towards Demetri, "I think you're good for him, Demetri. I'm so sorry I've caused so much trouble-"

"Bella," Edward said, cutting her off. "I'm simply relieved that you're alive, and in a much happier state than the one I left you in." He stepped forward and awkwardly wrapped his arms around Bella, still feeling baffled that embracing Bella _could_ feel awkward.

"We will try to keep in touch, when we can," Demetri said, extending his hand to Bella. She took it, looking up at him, an unreadable emotion flitting across her face. She blushed as Demetri returned her gaze and chuckled, "I can see why E was so taken with you, you're simply enchanting. It has been a pleasure meeting you, and Jacob."

Demetri released her hand and offered it to Jake as she mumbled, "It's nice to meet you, too."

Jacob shook hands heartily with Edward and Demetri in turn, expressing his thanks for the Cullens' help during the battle and their support at the funeral. They said their final goodbyes as Jacob closed Bella's door and got in on the driver's side.

Standing on the porch as Jacob and Bella drove away, Edward felt a tiny, miniscule tug at his heart: a final tie to who he once was being loosened and let go. He sighed and put his arm around Demetri's waist.

"Thoughts?" Demetri asked.

"None," Edward answered, and for him, that was a heavy statement.

~*~

"Alice, please be sure you are watching very carefully," Edward begged. The time had come to travel back to Volterra. The upcoming confrontation he would inevitably have with Aro had him uneasy.

"I know, Edward. You don't have to keep reminding me," Alice retorted, growing irritated with Edward's constant reminders.

"I'm sorry. Of course, you know how important this is," he apologized, embracing her a final time. He glanced towards Demetri who was putting their bags in the car. "Keep an extra close eye for him, _please._"

When discussing what would happen in Volterra, Edward told Demetri that he did not have to stand with him against Aro, but Demetri would not hear it. Edward fretted over it, and although he was filled with admiration and appreciation for Demetri, he feared putting someone he loved in harm's way. Truthfully, there was no way to tell what Aro would decide until he had heard the whole story, and things could get difficult. Edward could not bear the thought of Demetri suffering because of him; he felt he had caused enough trouble for him to last ten lifetimes.

_Edward, _Alice thought warningly, her impatience growing.

"I know, I know. I apologize. I'm simply…fearful," Edward admitted, worried lines creasing his brow.

"You don't have to worry about me, E," Demetri chided, walking onto the porch to join Edward and Alice. Edward grimaced at Demetri's nonchalance.

"Demetri," Alice started. "It's been lovely meeting you, and, I hope, the next time we meet won't be so hectic."

"I hope so, as well, dear Alice," Demetri replied as they shared a comfortable embrace. Edward's family had grown to thoroughly like Demetri, and Edward was unsurprised; Demetri had a charming way about him that made him impossible to dislike.

The rest of the family had said their goodbyes earlier that morning, and Edward was saddened that he did not know when, or if, he would see them again. If things with Aro went poorly, he might not be alive to visit again. He had made sure to tell each of them how much he cared for them, and did not rush through his goodbyes as he traditionally had done.

"I love you, Alice," Edward said, giving her a small smile. "Please—"

"Edward, I know. For a mind reader, you sure don't read people very well. This is me: annoyed," Alice said, pointing at herself. Edward nodded, looking at his feet. Alice hugged him again.

"I will be tirelessly watching until I know with absolute certainty that we are all going to survive this. All of us," she stressed, squeezing Edward. "I love you, too."

"We need to get going, Edward," Demetri said.

"Okay," Edward replied, releasing Alice reluctantly. "Goodbye, Alice."

"Bye, Edward, bye, D," she said.

"D?" Edward said.

"Demetri is kind of a stuffy name," Alice said, shrugging. "And D is a light-hearted guy. I've seen it."

Demetri chuckled quietly as he waved goodbye and got in the car, Edward following suit.

"So my sister has a pet name for you, and I don't?" Edward asked. Demetri simply grinned at him.

Since they had stayed a few extra days, Aro was able to send the private jet back to take them home to Italy; it was much easier to travel on the jet because they could leave straight from the runway, away from curious human eyes if the sun happened to be shining. Felix was to pick them up at the airport, so the two men took advantage of the flight to discuss their options.

"How should I handle this?" Edward asked once they were seated and ready for takeoff. Demetri had known Aro for hundreds of years; surely, he would know the best plan of action.

"Aro always wants to be in control, and he doesn't like appearing weak-willed to anyone. The image he wants projected at all times is that of control. Why do you think he tried to coerce me into once again drinking from humans? Because it would have shown his influence over me," Demetri stated.

"Okay, so, how could I still let him be in control, but convince him to leave Bella and the wolves alone?" Edward inquired, leaning in closely.

"That is what we need to figure out," Demetri replied, shrugging.

"I think that if I charge in there and provoke him, we'll all be dead within hours," Edward started.

"Probably would be best to let him read what happened through you, and, perhaps, continue on internally? Don't question his authority out loud?" Demetri suggested.

"That seems to be the best option. I want him to _feel _threatened without actually threatening," Edward said, taking Demetri's hand in his and moving closer. "Are you sure you want to stand with me on this? It's not your plight as it is mine. I'm sure—"

"E, we're together now, in everything. What kind of shoddy partner would I be if I let you risk yourself while I cowered in the shadows? I won't be so brazen as to say we'll be perfectly fine, but I know that even if this goes badly, I wouldn't want to be perfectly fine without you." Knowing that if the positions were reversed he would feel the same, Edward did not argue with him, but nodded.

"I know that he values you highly amongst those in his collection. I hope we can use that in our favor," Edward added.

"You are just as valuable, Edward."

"He's done without me for centuries; I'm sure he won't see it that way."

"Aro is a reasonable – if not self-serving – vampire. You might not thoroughly agree with that statement, but it is true. He will know that he could defeat the wolf pack, but he must understand the cost," Demetri added.

"I don't want to fight Chelsea or Felix," Edward commented. They had become his friends, and the thought of having to stand against them felt wrong. He hoped it would not come to that.

"Oh, believe me, I know how you feel," Demetri said, looking down at their hands where they were joined. Edward felt suddenly foolish; Demetri would be potentially fighting against people who had been his family several times longer than Edward had even existed. He was reminded of how much Demetri would sacrifice for him.

"Are you sure about this, Demetri?" Edward asked again, lifting Demetri's chin to meet him eyes. "You've known me a few months. Are you willing to risk centuries of camaraderie on someone like me?"

"Edward," Demetri let go of Edward's hand to place his palms on either side of Edward's neck, "I'm in love with _you. _That's all there is to it. When I think about whom it is I can't live without, only you come to mind. I can see why Alice would get so annoyed with you. You won't take yes for an answer," Demetri finished, sniggering at Edward's expression.

"Okay," Edward answered.

"Now, tell me, what does the Kelly vampire do?"

"Why would I keep it a secret all this time and then just tell you?" Edward asked. "I'm not sure the extent of what she does, or even how well she can do it, so I'll leave that to Aro to divulge."

"Can't blame me for trying. I'm looking forward to meeting her properly and solving this little mystery."

"I truly hope we get that chance."

They spoke no further about Aro, and used the remainder of the flight to enjoy each other before things got complicated again. Edward was ready to be done with the trials the pair constantly faced and simply _be._

Felix was waiting for them on the runway. Demetri greeted him with a handshake and firm pat on the back, smiling tight-lipped.

"Why so grim?" Felix laughed. Demetri shrugged off Felix's comment.

"Can't a fellow miss his friend?" Demetri asked, trying to appear normal, but his eyes giving him away.

Felix maintained his bright smile. "Your dietary changes have made you too sentimental. Is Edward turning you into a girl, too?"

Even with the heavy mood that had been permeating the air, Edward could not help but chuckle. Felix turned towards him.

"I have to thank you, Edward," Felix started. "Kelly is the vamp of my dreams," Felix said, clutching his chest.

"Oh, really? You think so?" Edward asked.

"Yes, I think I'm in love," Felix replied, gesturing towards the car, indicating they should get in. Edward gave him a look of disbelief.

"So soon? You've know her less than a week," Edward replied.

"Sometimes you just know. Right Demetri?"

"I would have to agree," Demetri said as he slid into the driver's seat. Felix threw his hands in the air in protest, but did not verbally complain, instead calling shotgun before Edward could get in.

The closer they got to Volterra, the more worrisome Demetri's thoughts became. That had Edward especially alarmed, because if Demetri was worried, then he knew he had reason to be. He watched the landscape blurred with speed and found himself wishing he could stop time, and remain as he was: alive, in love, in good company, and free of guilt. The unknown leered over him with a lurid smirk, and he was frightened of what the day would bring.

"They're all together, waiting on your report," Felix relayed once they had arrived. Edward did not like the way that sounded. He wished there had been some way to get Aro on his own, however unlikely that might be.

Coming to a stop in front of the large double doors, Edward felt as though he had come full circle. The first time he had stood waiting on those doors to open, he had been searching for an end, he had come to realize what he had found was a beginning. This time when he entered that circular room, he would request life, for himself, for Bella, for the wolves, and he hoped – unlike what had happened before – he would not find the opposite.

Felix started to open the doors and Demetri placed a hand on his wrist, stopping him for a moment. They looked at each other briefly before Demetri turned towards Edward.

Edward brought Demetri to his chest without a word, embracing him with force that equated the tumult of emotions that surged through them both. Sensing the desperation, they sought out each other's mouths, sharing a needy, lingering kiss, neither man willing to end it. Edward started to pull away, but Demetri pushed his fingers into Edward's hair, holding him in place for a little longer; Edward did not mind.

Clearly his throat, Felix muttered, "Why do I always have to be around when this happens?"

Demetri smiled against Edward's mouth and then pulled away a few inches, moving one hand to Edward's face, the other snaking around his torso. Edward returned the loaded look Demetri gave him, placing his hands on either side of Demetri's neck. Gently, Demetri traced the lines of Edward's lips with his thumb, his eyes seeming to consume each of Edward's features. The corner of Demetri's mouth turned up and he expelled a breathy chuckle, his distinct scent of sugar cane, hot buttered rum, and the sea whispering over Edward's face and intimately filling his head.

"I love you," Demetri said.

"I know," Edward replied.

"Hey, I hate to break up the love, but, can't you two do this later?" Felix asked, gesturing towards the two doors that rose ominously before them, the golden handles gleaming in the torchlight.

"Yes we can, and we will," Demetri said, thrusting Edward back into reality. They ended their embrace but entwined their fingers, prepared to face Aro as a single unit. Felix opened the door and led them in.

When Felix had said everyone was together, he had meant _everyone. _Each member of the Volturi guard flanked the curves of the room, and the three heads sat in their appointed chairs, the two wives and Renata just behind them. Edward swallowed the lump in his throat; this would not be easy, and, if Aro ordered it, Edward could cease to exist within moments.

"Wonderful," Aro said, rising from his chair as they entered. "Demetri, Edward I have missed you so. How is the family, Edward? Well, I imagine?"

"Yes, Aro, thank you for inquiring," Edward replied. Shuffling his feet uncomfortably, he wondered where he should begin. He should have known that Aro would insist on leading the conversation.

"So!" Aro started, "What do you have for me? I am very curious to know what you have to report. Why did Carlisle have to engage in an all out battle with an army of newborns?" Aro asked, coming within inches of Edward. Unconsciously, Edward stepped back. Aro noticed the action, shifting his eyes to Demetri.

"How do you like your newborn, Aro?" Demetri chimed in. Edward squeezed his hand, glad for the few more moments of reprieve. Aro's eyes lit up at the mention of his new addition, clapping his hands together once.

"She is magnificent," Aro whispered, an underlying tone of excitement coloring the timbre of his voice. "I should think with proper training, her skill could rival, if not surpass, yours, Demetri." As Aro finished, he nodded towards where Felix stood with Kelly.

Shock flitted across Demetri's face, and he looked towards Edward. "Well, you have been keeping secrets, Edward," Demetri said.

Edward had not wanted to divulge Kelly's power for the simple fact of what it could mean for Demetri and him. Not only did the young vampire have some tracking abilities, but she could also compel the object of her hunt to come to her. She had demonstrated it somewhat during the battle; Edward had not realized this until he had spoken with Bella, and she had relayed how fiercely she had wanted to be in the clearing during the fight. He put that together with what he had learned from Kelly's mind shortly after the battle, and realized it could mean freedom for Demetri. It meant that, if Demetri wanted, once Aro released Edward of his obligation, they could leave together.

Demetri understood as clearly as Edward had, but, after he had put the facts together, his thoughts became a jumbled mess.

"Did he not tell you, Demetri?" Aro asked. Demetri shook his head. "I know what you were thinking about, sending her to me, but you must know it would be years, maybe even decades, before her skill matched his."

"I realize that," Edward answered quickly. "I hope to live forever, so there is no rush."

"Oh, young man, you baffle me. You were so looking forward to death a few months ago, and now, here you are, making plans for eternity. It pleases me," Aro finished, reaching his hand out to Edward.

Edward knew it was time for Aro to find out the whole mess he had created over a year ago when he first decided to pursue a relationship with Bella. Giving Demetri's hand a final squeeze, he released it and put his hand in Aro's.

The glazed over, unfocused stare swept over Aro's features, and Edward was discomfited by the thoughts replaying themselves once again. As Aro reached the revelation of Bella's survival and the existence of the wolf pack, he let out a tiny gasp, and his brow furrowed.

_Don't let go of my hand, _Edward thought. _We need to talk about this, and not in front of everyone. May we, perhaps, discuss this in private?_

"Whatever you have to say for yourself can be said in front of everyone," Aro answered aloud, drawing attention to the tension between the two. He released Edward's hand so that he would be forced to speak aloud.

"I know that the law has been broken," Edward started, attempting to keep his voice down even though he knew it was futile. "But, before you make any decisions, consider all your options." He spoke even more quietly as he inched as close as possible to Aro. "The wolves would be a formidable opponent. Yes, you could defeat them, but who would you lose? These creatures are not the same as the Children of the Moon, as you can see, and are designed to destroy us. Bella is mated to the one that was meant to be alpha; he is now their second in command. If you try to get to her, they will fight you, and some of your guard _will _be destroyed. Plus, I personally will stand in your way. I know what that would mean, but you lose me."

"I am with Edward," Demetri added, stepping closer to Edward where he had inched away from him.

"Demetri," Aro breathed, "You have been dear to me for centuries. How could you?"

"Edward loves _me. _You love what I can do for you," Demetri replied.

Aro nodded, his features somber. "If that is…truly how you feel, young man, well then I will not try to change your mind," he turned back towards Edward, "You know that Bella must be taken care of. I forgave you your crime because we thought she was dead. If that is no longer the case, I'm afraid I have no choice but to—"

"Aro," a familiar female voice called from the back of the room. Edward turned around to see Chelsea approaching them, her face stoic and unreadable. Of course, Edward knew her intentions.

"Chelsea, no," Edward warned as she approached Aro. "You don't have to."

_I know I don't have to, Edward, but I am. Take my help, ok? Without it, you will not live to see the end of this day, _Chelsea thought.

Edward could not believe what Chelsea was about to do for him. He knew there was still no guarantee all would be well, but her gift was the most valuable to Aro's control.

Approaching Aro, Chelsea took his hand. Edward was grateful that she would be speaking to Aro through his gift; if he felt that the other Volturi and the guard were questioning his control, he would undoubtedly react badly.

_Master, _Chelsea thought. Appreciating that she still addressed him formally, Aro seemed willing to listen. _For centuries I have worked for you without question. I have done as you asked, but, on this, I refuse to help. I will not assist you. In fact, if you attempt to go forward with this, I will release my power over everyone in this room, and you will have _no one _to do your bidding. Do you think you would fare well against a pack of wolves on your own?_

Aro pursed his lips, his thoughts incredulous, but his face barely gave away the internal thoughts he had just received.

"Chelsea," Aro murmured. He was warring with himself, resenting being told what to do, but realizing he had been backed into a corner. For the first time, Aro felt threatened, out of control, and beaten. "You would not."

"Would I not?" Chelsea replied, quirking an eyebrow.

Suddenly, Edward felt a haze lift that he had not realized had even been over him. Realizing with a start that Chelsea had let go of the bonds she had applied to the Volturi and their guard, Edward felt an overwhelming wave of hate pour through him. He wanted to tear Aro apart, burn him, and leave; the force of it causing him to blink. He had known he disliked Aro, but the new feeling bubbling in him was so much stronger than that.

Edward searched the thoughts around him, and similar reactions were being had. The members of the guard looked around at each other with curious expressions and squinted blood-red eyes. Marcus even went as far as to get up from his seat on the raised platform and descend the three stairs, walking towards the doors; it was as though everyone had awakened from a long sleep, their eyes not recognizing their surroundings or remembering how they ended up where they had.

"Marcus, stop!" Aro shouted, taking a few steps in his direction. Marcus hesitated a moment, but did not turn around. "Chelsea, please," Aro muttered through gritted teeth. Chelsea reached out and grabbed Aro's hand again.

_Will you do as I ask? _she relayed to him.

"Yes," Aro hissed.

As swiftly as Edward had felt the all encompassing hate, it was gone, and things felt normal again. Wanting to be upset that he was being manipulated, Edward started to protest, but the feeling went away as the fog got thicker, until he was not aware of it at all.

Aro dropped Chelsea's hand, turning to walk up the three steps, and seated himself on his throne. Composing himself, Aro forced a smile. To those who could not read his mind, it would appear that he still had power over the situation.

"It seems to me," Aro paused to smooth his clothing and gather his thoughts, "engaging in a fight with these wolves would serve no purpose. They have as much of a reason to maintain anonymity as we do, and since the human girl is involved with one of them, she would, of course, need to keep their – and, in turn our - existence a secret, as well."

"How can you say that, Aro? We must take care of this threat—" Caius started.

"There _is _no threat Caius. Dealing with them presents," he glanced towards Chelsea, "risks that I am not willing to take. Imagine the losses we would suffer," he said, gesturing towards Edward and Demetri, but he thought of Chelsea. "Not to mention those that might be lost in a fight."

Caius looked as though he would protest further, but Aro held his hand up, silencing him.

"Marcus, are you going to sit back down?" Aro inquired, noticing that Marcus still stood close to the exit. He moved his head up and down once, and reluctantly made his way back to his seat.

Internally Aro was seething, but was intelligent to know when he had been outwitted. A miniscule smile perked the corners of his mouth; even though he was horribly angry, he could not help but admire the way Edward had played the game. He locked his gaze on Edward saying, "You are still promised to me until I release you, Edward. This does not change that."

"I did not expect that it would," Edward replied, not caring that he would still work as a member of the guard; he had a sneaking suspicion that Aro would make him stay longer than he had originally intended. Regardless, relief was the only thing he felt at that moment; it permeated the air and circulated between him and Demetri, and joy began warming Edward from the bottoms of his feet to the top of his head. Forcing his expression to remain unchanged, Edward gave Aro a nod, which he returned.

"Demetri," Aro started. "I want you to start working with Kelly as soon as possible. Her talent is very raw, and I think with your guidance we should have her fully functional within about twenty to thirty years." Making a point to emphasize the timeframe, Aro's smile grew genuine. Exactly as Edward had predicted, he and Demetri would be with the guard for quite some time.

"Certainly," Demetri replied with a nod of his head. "May we be excused for now?"

"For now," Aro nodded, flashing his white teeth and waving his hand.

Edward looked at Chelsea, trying to convey the tremendous gratitude he felt. She had, with a few words, saved the lives of those dearest to him. Reaching towards her, he squeezed her hand briefly in thanks; it was not nearly enough to express what he felt for her.

Demetri nudged Edward and nodded towards the door, and together, they exited.

The doors closed behind them, the pressure changing as the heavy pieces of wood rattled shut. Demetri wrapped his arm around Edward's waist from the side, and gave him a full, toothy grin.

"What do we do now?" Edward asked, his face mirroring Demetri's.

"We go back to normal," Demetri stated simply.

_Normal, _Edward thought; what a lovely word that was. Edward adored the thought of normal.

"I should quite like to catch up on my reading," Demetri said. "To the library?"

Edward nodded and laughed at him; Demetri's moods were so easily changed. The laughter that spilled out of Edward echoed off the stone walls and ceilings, creating a tinny sort of music that the torchlight happily danced to.

Edward was content, and even the dark passageway knew it.

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**End notes: Next up is the epilogue. Almost all done. I 'd love to hear your thoughts. Ah, and I'm sure some of you noticed the total unapologetic Star Wars reference in here. :D**

**The dialogue with Jacob and Bella was written by GracieBlack28 who wrote the companion story to Tracking Redemption called, Til Death Do Us Part**


	15. Epilogue: To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the copyrighted stuff. **

**Author's note: So, here's the epilogue. I want to say a big thanks to ms-ambrosia for holding my hand through this. That lady has put up with a lot from me recently, and I love her real hard! She pre-read and beta'd this for me last minute because she's amazing like that. I think I should also mention that we're going from past to present tense and from third to first person in this. Enjoy! I'll blather more at the bottom.**

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This day is my last as a member of the Volturi guard. When I first entered the stone antechamber of the appointed rulers of the vampire world, it was with a burden I felt my immortality could not bear. That was twenty-seven years, seven months, and three days in the past. Since, I have come to imagine Volterra as my home; my position with the guard a necessity. I am a different man than the one that entered with a head full of sorrows.

Remembering what it felt like to be alone in the world, I lower my face to my hands, rubbing my cheeks and reveling in the unforgotten anguish because it was what brought me to him. I have learned that joy indeed can ride on the coattails of grief, and that it is not sinful to have it.

He has taught me not to merely exist, but to _live_.

I am alive, though not in the same sense as a human. My heart might not beat, but it is full; I might not need to breath, but I enjoy it, because every breath in his presence delivers his scent to me. Over the years, I've grown accustomed to the changes in his scent that accompany his moods. When he is blissful, he smells like the sand and sweet zephyr; when he is angry, he smells like cinnamon, and when he takes me in the circle of his arms, he smells like unrefined sugar. I know all of him, not because I can read his mind, but because he is as much a part of me as my leg, my shoulder, or my fingers.

I hear him approaching, the light cadence of his footsteps composing a rhythm that has become my heartbeat, and I am about to turn around when his steadfast arms grasp my hips.

"Edward," he whispers, my name passing from him to me like a secret. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, I am," I reply just as softly, entwining my fingers with his. The sensation of his skin against mine still causes a heady thrill to trickle through me, and I sigh, leaning into him. "I am ready for my only commitment to be to you, Demetri."

Placing his cheek on my shoulder, he turns his face towards me, and I seek out his mouth. My bottom lip fits between his with a familiarity that is dear to me, and I delight in the warmth of it before opening my mouth. He turns me towards him, our lips parting only long enough for me to remember why I need him; that does not take long. Moving his hands upwards, his palms press against my chest, traversing the flesh that would be ash if not for his guidance. They rest on my face, and he pulls back, but not before pressing the softness of his lips to each corner of mine.

"I love you," he says, the seemingly redundant statement supplemented by the openness of his expression. Demetri's mind is a mesh of colors and shapes, his thoughts transcending any words.

"Do you have everything you need?" I ask, slipping my fingers through his belt loops.

"Already in the car," he replies. Leaning down, he places a swift kiss on my neck before releasing me.

"We won't be returning for anything, will we?" I walk towards my bag and look back at him. He shakes his head.

"Not for at least a few years. I fully plan on being very selfish and keeping you to myself," Demetri chuckles, walking to the door and holding it open. He catches my hand as I go to exit, taking my bag so that he may carry it. I laugh at him, ever genteel.

When we leave, we will travel to Portovenere on the Gulf of Poets. My commitment to Aro, at his words, has been fulfilled, and I will now only be tied to Demetri. Many have asked us why we did not join sooner, but we had both agreed that we wanted to be committed only to one another, not to the Volturi. We finally will be able to do that. Few will be in attendance, neither of us wanting our marriage to be one for show, but simply desiring to be united formally as so many other couples do.

Although it feels incredibly silly after decades together, Demetri insists we drive separate vehicles to Portovenere; he says just because we're untraditional doesn't mean we can't follow a few traditions. The ceremony is to take place at dusk, a good choice considering the sun is shining brightly, but Alice has promised we will not be revealed.

Demetri asks me if there is anyone I would like to say goodbye to. I tell him no, everyone I care to see will be in Portovenere, including Aro with Sulpicia accompanied by Renata, although he invited himself. My family will be there, as well as Bella and Jacob. From the guard, Felix, Kelly, and Chelsea will be attending.

Only a few years ago had Aro even started considering letting us leave. Kelly had fine-tuned her tracking abilities almost twenty years prior, but Aro made excuses, citing he needed me. Finally, after a strangely long time had passed, Salvatore – the vampire we had approached on my first mission with the guard – decided to join the Volturi ranks. Aro was positively gleeful because Salvatore's abilities surpassed mine, and when I approached him with the idea of leaving, he graciously took only three years to consider it.

Carlisle is waiting for me in the parking garage; he is my mentor, has been for over a century, so I requested that he accompany me to Portovenere. Over the years, we have had a few visits, but I have not had uninterrupted hours with him for nearly three decades. I look forward to our time together.

The distance is a bit less than one hundred miles, and normally it would take over two hours. Carlisle is a speedy driver, but has learned to take his time when compared with others of our kind. I estimate perhaps an hour and a half at most to get us to our location.

Embracing me as well as Demetri, Carlisle smiles, making me feel content in the way only a father's approval can. His hand lingers on my shoulder and he squeezes, nodding.

"Are we set?" Carlisle asks while Demetri puts my bag in the car. My formal clothing is already awaiting me in Portovenere, and the bag contains the few things I will be taking with me when Demetri and I leave Italy. He has yet to tell me how we'll be spending our time, or where we'll be going, but it matters little.

"Yes we are," I reply, speaking to Carlisle but watching Demetri. I walk over to him as he closes the trunk of the car and I wrap my arms around him. There are only four short hours we are to be parted, but being faced with them, I realize how much I will miss him.

Squeezing me tightly, he kisses my cheek. I know that were I human, he would most definitely be crushing me; it's one of the many reasons I have to be glad I am invincible.

"I love you," I say, returning his kiss on the cheek. "I'll be seeing you. Soon," I add.

His boyish smirk appears on his features, and he looks every bit the twenty-year-old man that he is frozen as; we are frozen together.

Although we have only been separated a few hours, I find myself nervous about what is approaching. I glance in the mirror more than I normally would, taking care to smooth my lapels and straighten my tie. I think twice when beginning to flatten my hair; the wind will surely be so great that it will not matter. I picture him, waiting for me by stone and sea, upturned lips and eyes the color of straw, and my chest flutters.

"We should be leaving, Edward," Carlisle says, walking towards the door. I nod and follow him.

Finding myself by the exit, I remember the gift I have for Demetri. How is it that someone with a supposed perfect memory could almost forget something so important? I chuckle to myself, still in awe of the affect he has on me. When we are parted, nothing else sits at the forefront of my thoughts except for getting back to him.

We leave the hotel, walking to our location. Our few guests will have already gathered, and beautiful anticipation coils in my stomach. I feel so brilliantly and passionately alive. The setting sun sits, peeking over the horizon, its last rays paying mind to keep away from us while still allowing me to enjoy their glow, as though this day – this moment – were a fated thing. I believe with each piece of my _soul _that it is.

Carlisle puts his arm over my shoulders, passersby assume we are old friends, if only they knew how old. Never much for physical affection, I know that my giddy mood has rubbed off on him.

Everything brings a smile to my face, from the wind carrying the scent of the sea, to the muted sounds of birds in the air. Nothing compares to the perfect orchestration that nature's simple joys provide, and I am thankful that I now allow myself to notice them.

We arrive to the ruins overlooking the Gulf of Poets, and I see our guests milling about. The ceremony will be very informal - no pomp and circumstance, no aisles, only a gathering of friends. I do not see him yet, and I find myself rising to the balls of my feet, attempting to search him out. Carlisle laughs at me, and I look towards him, grinning.

Aro approaches us, his face cracked in an open-mouthed smile. Not even the sight of him makes me any less blissful.

"Dear, young man," he says, clasping my hand. "I shall miss you immensely! Your service has been most useful, and it has been an absolute pleasure working with you." His thoughts tell differently. "The joy I feel for you and Demetri is simply unfathomable."

"Thank you, Aro," I reply.

I honestly want to snicker, because he knows that I am aware he's lying. Over time, Aro and I have come to a mutual understanding; that is, we don't question each other. Even though he has replacements, Aro is still not used to losing members of his guard except for a rare death. I must give him credit where it's due, however, because he has handled the situation with poise, so we are parting on good terms.

Trying to see Demetri again, Bella and Jacob find me. My smile grows in size at seeing Bella, forty-five years old. Her mahogany hair is streaked around her face with silver. Tiny laugh lines show on her face, and she has a crinkly-eyed smile, so similar to that of her father. She looks beautiful, and I hug her loosely, noticing her hips are a bit wider than the last time we had embraced. After I left Forks, she and Jacob wed, and now have three grown children. I have not seen her except for once, many years ago, and through family pictures and letters sent in reply to the birthday cards Demetri and I are sure to send. I am still thankful for every day she lives.

"I'm so glad you two could make it," I say honestly. I nod towards Jacob and shake his hand.

"We couldn't very well turn down a free overseas vacation," Jacob laughs, smiling despite his nervous thoughts. He has not phased into a wolf for nearly twenty years, but still has trepidations about being around so many vampires. I cannot blame him. He still looks very much the way I remember him – of course at that time, he could have passed for nearly thirty - seeming much younger than Bella. I hope it does not bother her too much. They seem to be very happy.

"I apologize I wasn't able to pick you up—" I start.

"No, don't apologize," Bella interrupts. "We got to visit with Alice and Jasper, which was wonderful." Her smile is lovely, and I have to hug her again; she was the beginning of my happily ever after, and I owe her so much that I can never repay.

"Thank you," I mumble into her hair.

I begin to look for Demetri again over Bella's shoulder, and I am starting to wonder if he is hiding.

"I'm going to look for Demetri," I say, letting Bella go and nodding at Jacob once again.

Esme and Alice find me before I get very far, and they greet me as we exchange embraces. I do not spend long speaking with them, because the longer I go without finding Demetri, the more anxious I become.

Our vows will take place by an aging stone arch by the sea, a flight of stairs leading down to it. I walk to the top of the stairs and look down. I see him. Carlisle has already made his way down, and Demetri is talking to him and smiling. Rosalie, Emmett, Chelsea and Jasper stand with him, and, not for the first time, I take pleasure at the way my family is so smitten with him. Even Rosalie adores him; she will not admit to it out loud, but it's quite obvious in the way she will actually engage him in conversation.

If I needed to breathe, I am sure at this moment I would not be able to. This moment I cannot move, speak, or think of anything that is not him. A tinge of color decorates his cheeks, and the wind causes his long hair to swirl around, the brown locks whispering across his beatific face the way my fingers are itching to. His suit is off-white and linen; he wears no tie and has left several buttons undone. Looking more at home than I have ever seen him, the backdrop of the crashing waves and casual clothing suits him, and I suddenly cannot wait to get him on his own.

I struggle to keep it human as I walk down the stairs; for the first time since becoming an immortal I fear I might trip, so I watch my feet.

Once I reach him, I push past the members of my family so that I may entwine my fingers with his, my other hand tucking the windswept tendrils of his hair behind his ear. I smile at him, and he returns it. I lean in to kiss him, but he turns his head.

"You're impatient," he chides. "Can you not wait twenty minutes after nearly thirty years?"

I shake my head and look down. "I would imagine you're right," I bring my eyes to meet his, "I've grown so used to instant gratification."

"Hey, now, bro," Rosalie interjects, "some things can stay private, especially talk of your gratification." Her tone is joking, and she smiles. I take a moment to greet the rest of my family members and Chelsea before Carlisle speaks.

"Are you two ready to begin?"

"Yes," I answer, and never have I meant a word more.

"Absolutely," Demetri says, gripping my hand tightly.

"Come closer, everyone," Carlisle says, gesturing with his hands to our friends and family to move closer. Out of the corner of my eye I see Felix, running down the stairs with Kelly over his shoulder. I snicker quietly as they come closer, Kelly's giggles accompanying the sound of the water.

"Everyone settled?" Carlisle asks, looking pointedly at Felix. He snorts and nods.

"We all know why we are here," Carlisle starts. He stands in the archway in front of us, our guests standing in a half-circle around it. "I am joyous to say, that after almost a century and a half, Edward here, has found someone to put up with him."

The small crowd laughs and I join in, quirking an eyebrow at Carlisle.

"In all seriousness," he continues, "Edward was the first real family I had in this life, and seeing him the way he is now is like a final piece of a puzzle finding its place." He shifts his gaze from the crowd to me. "Edward, you are my son, and I am proud of that."

"Now, with that being said, I want to say a few words about love and commitment.

"Love redeems us, when we feel we are unredeemable. Love teaches us to trust. It gives us strength when we are at our most weak. Above all, even when we are at our lowest point, love can bring us back from it. Love is found, at times, even when it is not sought. That is one of the miracles we can see happening on a day to day basis, but often times unnoticed.

"Commitment means a completely different thing to those of our kind. When you are an immortal," Carlisle is sure to keep his voice low when speaking of immortality, "and you promise forever, you quite literally must mean it. I have no doubts that these two do."

"I am elated that Demetri will be an official part of my family now. He has been a part of it for years, but this makes it formal," Carlisle smiles and claps Demetri on the back. "Be kind to each other. Trust each other. Love one another without measure or thoughts of an end," he finishes.

"Demetri and Edward have prepared a few things they would like to say to one another," Carlisle says, the volume of his voice rising again. I am nervous; I have one chance to speak to him on this, and I am worried to muck things up. I nod to Demetri, indicating he should speak first. Smiling, he begins.

"Edward. When I first met you, I thought you were an idiot, and I felt sorry for you. However, I did think you were very nice to look at." More laughter comes from our guests; Demetri loves being the center of attention. "But what I felt for you quickly moved into something else. I can't even begin to explain how it is possible that I feel more for you every day, but I do. I imagine, by the time the world ends, I'll be completely useless for anything else but to love you." Everyone has grown quiet, their laughter fading as Demetri turns serious.

"Edward," he starts again, "when humans are the myth, there are no stars in the sky, and words no longer make sense, I will still love you. That is my promise to you, and I do not break promises." He reaches out, swiping his index finger across my cheek, his expression somber. "There is so much more I could say to tell you how much I adore you, but I would much rather finish this up so I can show you," he finishes. I want to blush at his implication; instead I let out a nervous chortle.

His words are simple, but I know how thoroughly he means them. I am enamored by his unquestioning adoration. The way that he loves me is complete and unselfish, always has been, and I return every bit of it.

I swallow thickly as he returns both of his hands to mine. Everything I had wanted to say has become unimportant; the countless hours I spent practicing in front of the mirror I have forgotten, and I simply speak.

"Demetri," I look down at our interlaced fingers, "when I met you, you annoyed me." I smile, deciding that if he could start with humor, then so could I. "You annoyed me because you had this horrible habit of being right all the time, and for some reason, you did not want me wallowing in grief. I couldn't understand why. I loathed myself so much; there was no way I could comprehend why another would see anything redeemable in me. I thought that maybe your intent was to torment me further," I chuckle and look at him. With his gaze, he is opening me up, enabling me to speak without fear of fumbling. I know that he loves me even if I were to insist on leaving this instant.

"The thing is, I have come to look at my desperation and grief as one of the most beautiful and loving gifts I could have received. Without having been so utterly broken, so twisted with guilt and self-loathing, I could never, even in my wildest imaginings, realized the basest thing about myself. You were there to help me understand; you were there with more patience and more kindness than anyone could have expected, and you did it out of pure affection. You knew there was possibly nothing in it for you, yet you were there for me regardless.

"Because of you, I know that just because I am no longer human, it does not mean I am damned. I know that my soul exists because I willingly give it to you. Because of you, I will gladly live forever. I love you, Demetri," I say. He leans in to press his lips against mine, and, unlike him, I allow it. The meeting of our mouths is short and chaste, but Demetri follows with an even shorter kiss, almost like putting his signature on the promises he made to me.

I put my hand on the back of his neck, keeping his forehead against mine. I speak to him in a whisper, my eyes closed, suddenly wondering why we wanted to say these things in front of other people. I remember wanting to shout from the rooftops that he is mine, and I still do, but the urge to be alone with him is overpowering. "Such small decisions that led me to you, and I'm changed. You're such a good man." I open my eyes and am met with his, his features painted with emotions that I do not need to read his mind to distinguish.

"I wish I could make you feel what I feel, so you could know." I make no sense and I shake my head. I kiss his lips again. I leave my mouth against his, the will to separate myself from him diminishing with each glance and every thought. "You've taught me things I thought I already knew. Like how to play the piano." Demetri rolls his eyes; I am aware of it because I see it in his mind.

_I only know two songs Edward, _he thinks.

"You can mock me if you want, but it's true. You taught me that playing the piano is fun, not simply an achievement over which to boast. I know now that fun is okay.

"You taught me that beds are for more than sleeping." I smile when I am reminded we are not alone when the crowd snickers quietly. I shift my eyes to our small gathering. "Not like that," I chide. "He shared my bed with me before anything further happened," I say to them, raising my voice. I turn towards him fully again. "You taught me what it is to be complete, and that life cannot be judged by one grand event or achievement, but that a life well-lived is made up small joys: a smartly-played round of Heart and Soul, a winning hand at cards, the sun on your face, a reimagining of a child's game, or a first kiss in a library." I wind my arms around his waist and squeeze, increasing the pressure of his body against mine, kissing him with every piece of myself that belongs to him.

As quietly as I can I whisper to him, "I guess I should shut it now, so you can get to showing me like you promised earlier." He doesn't answer but laughs, the sound vibrating my chest where it is pressed against his.

"Okay you two," Carlisle says, reminding me that there are still other people around. "Here are your rings." He passes us the two white gold bands we decided to exchange.

Demetri slips one of the rings onto my finger and says, "With this hand I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine," he pauses to snigger, "With this ring, I ask you to be mine."

Taking the remaining ring, I put it in place on his finger, and repeat the same phrase that Demetri quoted to me. The circle of gold satisfies me to see, and I bring his finger to my lips, enjoying what it symbolizes.

"Well," Carlisle begins, "I think that does it. Go ahead and kiss again." He chuckles knowing that it is pointless to give us permission.

This kiss is different from the previous ones. This kiss is binding, cementing an unbreakable vow between us. I never knew that such sovereignty could be found in giving myself over completely, but found it I have. I pull him closer as our guest's applause are drowned out by the sound of the sea.

We visit with our friends and family shortly and then say our goodbyes. My anticipation grows as the prospect of being completely alone with Demetri approaches. I am curious to know where he plans on us spending our first night of freedom together.

I am surprised when he takes my hand and leads me to the beach, walking towards the pier. Searching his mind, I am met with pop music. I look at him incredulously, wondering exactly what his intentions are.

"Don't look at me like that, E," he says. "I thought you liked surprises."

"I never said I didn't. I'm merely curious."

The sky is completely dark, and the lights from the pier reflect on the water, joining the moonlight in a frivolous dance across the rolling surface. I breathe deeply, cherishing the evening.

"Did you know," Demetri starts, "that Aro got us an extremely thoughtful gift?"

"I wasn't aware he'd given us anything," I answer as we approach a multitude of docked sailboats.

He continues down the line, passing many vessels and eventually stops in front of moderately sized boat; I would estimate it to be about thirty-two feet in length.

"This is what he gave us," Demetri says, beaming. I cannot think of anything to say. Aro must care for Demetri just as he always claimed.

"Oh," I say dumbly. "I would have thought that Aro would have picked something much flashier."

"He let me pick it out, Edward. I focus on dependability more than looks and size. You see, it's a commonly held belief that heavier displacement boats fare better in rough seas. It's actually the opposite. Lighter displacement boats don't bottom out as hard when they're riding down waves so they actually tend to handle better in choppy water. Also lighter…"

I try to listen to what he is saying - not that what he says does not interest me at all - but the way his mouth shapes the words and his eyes flash when speaking of something he has such knowledge of, I can concentrate on nothing but how handsome he is. So, I nod my head appropriately, and comment with short phrases, but keep my eyes trained on his lips.

"…and you're not listening to a word I say, are you?" he laughs, nodding his head.

"I was. You were talking about boat weight," I reply, trying to recite the last thing I had heard.

"That was about five minutes ago, E," he returns, indicating for me to board the ship. "Let's go ahead and get going."

"Where are we going?" I ask, trying to run through the conversation in my head to see if I missed him mentioning it.

"Nowhere really. I think I want to just take you out to the middle of the ocean, so we're sure not to be interrupted. We can live off sharks and little fishes and whatnot, right?" he says, his smile so wide that I'm sure his lips reach his ears.

"I hope you're not serious."

Rolling his eyes he says, "Fine, if you don't want to eat seafood, I imagine we could find places to stop every now and again." His tone is jokingly petulant. If I thought he honestly wanted to eat shark, I would gladly join him.

Starting his preparations to set sail, he fills me in on the fact that our luggage is already on board, even though he is sure we will not need it. Watching him work with his hands, seeing him in his true element, brings me a new piece of joy. Demetri has always been laid back, but seeing him now, he is completely relaxed and at home. Watching him liberated is a beautiful thing; I know that I had a part in it.

"Do you need any help?" I ask. Over time, I have tried to learn about sailing as much as possible; I want to know about the things he loves. My knowledge of the subject might be only theoretical, but I think I could be of assistance.

"No," he replies, never ceasing his movements. "Let me take care of this for you."

Once he is satisfied, we set out. He stands at the helm and says, "I would have liked to sail you off into the sunset, but since that's impossible, you'll have to be happy with seeing the sunrise surrounded by nothing but ocean."

Unable to keep my hands to myself anymore, I walk up behind him, bringing my arms around his waist. "That sounds perfect," I hum against his ear. His breathing quickens.

Once we are far enough into the water that we do not see land, Demetri makes a few more adjustments to the boat and turns towards me, his hands sweeping across my hips to my back, travelling upwards and underneath my shirt.

"I have you," Demetri says. His fingers touch each of my ribs, as though he were counting them. I search his mind, and find that he is.

"How many?" I whisper, bringing my cheek to press against his as I speak into his ear. I begin unfastening his buttons, my empty palms filling with the heat of his flesh. Each inch of skin that covers him I have touched and tasted, but, still, it is never enough. There are times I have wished for an extra arm, or another set of lips, so that I may be in contact with more of him.

"Still twelve," he says, his voice also dropping to a whisper. The movement of his lips and the sound of his voice coax out that licentious yearning that waits until he calls, its delicate footfalls tiptoeing down my spine, and I quiver.

Demetri moves his hands to my waist and unbuttons my trousers; he begins to push them down over my hips and feels the bulge in my pocket.

"What's this?" he asks, reaching his hand in without waiting on me to answer. Once again, in my haste to be near to him, I have forgotten his gift. Pulling out the small leather box, he looks at me with curious eyes.

"That… is actually your gift," I tell him, pulling it from his grasp and opening the lid. I suddenly feel very foolish about what I've gotten him. Once I've handed it back to him, I look down at my feet, awaiting his reaction.

"This is lovely, Edward, but you know I don't need a compass," he says, smiling. I meet his eyes and take the box back, pulling out the compass; it is the size of a pocket watch and has a chain so that he may wear it around his neck. I turn it over and show him the back.

"It has the Cullen crest on the back," I say to him, pointing out the emblem that has been a part of my sire's family for centuries. "And, it doesn't work like a normal compass." I feel even more self-conscious as I am about to tell him that I had the compass altered even more than simply the engraving. "The needle doesn't point north, in fact, it only points to this," I finally finish, opening the compass and showing him the oversized E that indicates east, frowning.

"So, metaphorically speaking, this compass always points to you?" Demetri questions. He puts his index finger under my chin, bringing my focus back to him. To me, he looks disappointed, and he is blocking me out by reciting Shakespearean sonnets in Portuguese.

"You hate it, don't you? It's silly I know. Here, give it back to me, and I'll get you something better," I say, trying to snatch it back from him. He holds it out of my reach and pulls me in to his chest.

"How can you second guess something this perfect, Edward? This is the single most thoughtful gift I could ever even think of receiving. Words fail me," he says, his voice faltering the tiniest bit. "I love it." He immediately throws the chain over his head, the compass coming to rest over his sternum; he watches it jostling until it stops moving, and looks back at me with a heart-stirring smile.

"Do you really?" I ask, his thoughts still blocked.

"Yes, really," he replies, and without pause, brings his mouth to mine, opening the window to his thoughts.

So many years we have already spent together, but his unhindered thoughts still encircle the innermost part of me like the heat of summer. They caress my senses more intimately than any physical presence imaginable.

He is thinking about the morning after we first made love. Standing in front of a mirror, he rubs his hands over his cheeks. When he looks into the reflective surface, his face splits into a wide grin, and he puts his hands on top of his head, just staring at his reflection and smiling. I watch him as he brings his right hand down and traces his own lips. He wants to remember what it feels like to be so happy, and he thinks euphoria such as what he is experiencing has to be tangible, so he tries to touch it on his face. This is a memory he has never shown me, and I'm glad he saved it for today.

"I think I must've grabbed a piece of it," he pauses, lips still pressed against mine, "because I still feel it."

And, with those words, he pours everything into me: his past, the present, his hopes, his joy, his trepidations. His thoughts become mine, and I have no desire to distinguish between them.

Pulling him close, my hands lose themselves in the tangles of his hair, as his are found on my hips. We are a mesh of lips, tongues, teeth, arms, and legs, woven together in a pattern so proverbial yet somehow fresh. Demetri tastes different with freedom in his soul.

Demetri pushes me firmly onto the deck. He covers me with his body as intimately as his thoughts embraced my mind. Each piece of flesh on flesh incinerates me in the most exquisite way.

Somehow, I am already naked, and I have no clue how it happened. Out of the corner of my eye, I see clothing thrown haphazardly around me. Demetri is in the same state as I, and I take a moment to trail my fingers beginning from his hips, across his ribs, up to his shoulders, and then back down again, lightly brushing his arousal. He hums against my mouth.

My fingertips follow a well-worn trail, traversed many times over decades, but the thrill of reaching their summit is no less fulfilling. I take him in my hand and stroke once; his hips thrust forward, and his mouth lingers against mine as he takes several rapid breaths.

Rolling onto his side, he takes me with him so that we are facing one another before bringing our mouths together once more. His hips match mine, and he presses his thigh against me, providing me with a delicious pressure exactly where I need it. Wanting him so thoroughly, I become overwhelmed, moving myself against his stone thigh, groaning at the friction against my stiffness.

He breaks the kiss and stills his body, his palm moving up my thigh and resting on my hip. Using his other hand, he sweeps his fingertips across my forehead and then down my nose. I can see his eyes jumping from my nose, to my lips, to my eyes.

"I'll never tire of you looking at me like that," Demetri breaths, squeezing my hip.

"Like what?" I smile.

"Like you want me. Like you want to open yourself up and let me in," he says, a hint of awe in his voice, as if he should expect anything less after our time together.

_Sometimes, _Demetri thinks_, I wish I could make my skin translucent, and you could be in the exact same space as me… so I could let you in. That sounds ludicrous, doesn't it?_

I shake my head, the only answer I have is to get nearer to him.

Pushing him flat on his back, I climb atop him and straddle his hips. I press myself against him, rolling my hips, both of us moaning in tandem. Being so intimately pressed against him is unmatched; no other kind of gratification remotely equates it.

Being on top of him like this, exposed in the middle of nowhere and everywhere with the wind thoroughly caressing my nakedness, is a new sensation, enthralling and lascivious. My hands reach out and trace the straight lines of his shoulders, glide up his throat, and my fingers press against the smoothness of his mouth. He parts his lips, and the heat of his body envelops my fingertip.

The warm pads of his thumbs whisper down my sternum, circling back up and tickling across my nipples. Allowing my head to fall back, he takes the opportunity to sit up, placing his open mouth over my throat. The warmth of his breath teases against the slickness of his venom on my flesh, and my arms wrap around his torso as my fingers dig into his back.

His right hand glides down my spine while his left holds him up, and with practiced fingers he prepares me. Knowing my body as well as his own, the pleasure I derive from what he is doing causes heat to flood my face. I cannot stop the feral sounds that unfurl from my chest and my eyelids flutter from the unapologetic way he touches me.

How could I have ever avoided him? Demetri, who is a part – no, who _is _my soul and my redemption. Those days when I floundered, made excuses, and pushed him away were so wasteful and pointless. He loved me when anyone else would have given up; he pieced me together, no part too far or too lost to make me unsalvageable. Now, he is forever. _Forever, _and I can have him each day of it. I try to wrap my mind around it, and the complete joy from thinking it makes me whimper and search out Demetri's mouth. He parts his lips so that I may taste him, to know he is existing and that I may have him.

Thrusting his hips upwards, I know he needs me as much as I need him. I press him down, until his back meets the deck. I take a moment to look at him - his pale skin a beautifully vast contrast to the surrounding black water – and think again of how I have committed my entire existence to this man. This time, when I share my body with him, it is as my husband, as well as my lover and my friend.

I press my torso against his, and I kiss him. Trying to keep my eyes open, I want to experience every bit of our first time together like this, but they shut without my permission when he moans into my mouth. Reaching between us, I bring his length to me, and slowly push myself down. Each inch of him that I take brings me closer to that completeness that I crave, and once he is fully inside of me and I rest on his hips, I part my lips and sigh – long and low.

"I love you," I murmur and then I start moving.

Very aware of his fingers digging in to the skin of my hips, I place my hands over his, loosening his grip so that I may move more freely. I run my hands up him abdomen and rest them on his chest, giving myself leverage. I decide that I need to touch more of him, and with my right hand explore his torso and throat.

Demetri is mumbling and his eyes are clenched as he rolls his head back and forth on the deck. I grab his chin and ask him to look at me. He does, and his eyes are black and feral; I increase the speed of my hips as my need for him threatens to consume me. His tongue peeks through his lips and I lean over to taste it; Demetri uses my new angle to thrust his hips upward repeatedly, and we are both making sounds that would not be considered human.

The choreography of our bodies is a well-practiced thing; we move together, we moan together, but with every instance I am still surprised by how overwhelming this physical experience can be. There are moments when I am so enraptured, I feel that I might need to separate my mind from my body, but could never quite bring myself to. It's frustrating and freeing, captivating and numbing.

In this moment, I am aware of every piece of flesh, from my elbows to my ears, from my shoulder to between my toes, because every bit of it is alive when he loves me.

His hips continue to snap, and I welcome each movement as my impending release gathers at the base of my spine and travels to my groin. My arousal lies heavily against Demetri's stomach, aching and pulsing, begging to be touched. He reaches between us and grasps me, stroking swiftly.

"De- oooh…_nnn…_I…that feels too _good_," I moan, clenching my jaw and biting my tongue, trying to keep myself from coming undone.

"_God_…I know. I can't wait to…_nnn…_do this in the sunlight," Demetri says, and the thought of him, naked and wild, heated skin, streaming sun reflecting on the water, is enough to bring me right to the edge, and I know that I can last only moments more.

I lean back, meeting the warmth of Demetri's thighs and hips with each thrust. Continuing to coax my release with his hand, he moves his free fingers over my abdomen and chest. The things he thinks make me moan, and I know his pleasure as well as my own. Not only am I filled, but I am the one that is held in the embrace of my body; I meet each thrust while making them; my hands are all over him, but also pleasuring me. The intensity is exquisitely maddening.

"You feel sooo…_mmm…so warm inside_," Demetri pants, shaking his head, teeth clenched as his hips continue their pace. He moans and writhes and whispers affection, and the flush of his chest and cheeks pushes me over.

I let go and let him in, and in this moment I am nothing but what he wants me to be. Outside of the confines of my granite body, I am light, and for that moment I exist solely to feel, to be caught in the wind and swept to sea. I am right and good and worthy and free and loved, because he wills it so.

In turn, he spills everything into me, his thoughts, his flesh, his venom, his soul. He comes and he says my name with those lips that I cannot stop staring at. I manage to keep my eyes open through my release as well as his, all my life culminating, piecing together, and made real in this moment. My time without him, before I knew him, my time with him, before I accepted him, and my time with him as I loved him, all rush into me and I understand for the first time why humans cry when they are happy.

He understands, too, and sits up, burying his face in my chest as I take him tightly in my arms. The balm of our coupling rebirths us both like a baptism by everything he is, everything I am, and everything we are, together. I lower my face into his hair, mindlessly inhaling, drunk off the scent of him.

Eventually, Demetri turns his face towards me. I still straddle his lap, so I look down at him, my hand finding its way to his cheek. Allowing several moments to pass in silence, we share a kiss – warm, gentle, slow – before he speaks.

"You know what I would love right now?" he asks me, the intensity of the moment lightened by his goofy smile.

"What's that?" I ask, matching his smile with an equally silly grin.

"A nap," he answers.

"We don't sleep, Demetri," I laugh, poking him in the arm with my index finger.

"Edward, I know you have an imagination in there somewhere. Let's try some role playing. What would be a simpler way to ease into it than pretending to sleep?" he says, nipping at my mouth before abruptly lying back, and I scoot awkwardly off his hips. "We'll let the sun wake us up, and then make plans on how we want to spend all this free time."

Comically, he closes his eyes and makes annoying noises; I assume he is pretending to snore. I lie down, my head on his shoulder, my leg over his thigh and he brings his arms around me. The sound of the waves lapping on the side of the boat brings me rest while the man underneath me brings me everything else. I close my eyes.

And I dream.

* * *

**End notes: All done and the end! The vows that Demetri and Edward had while exchanging rings came from _The Corpse Bride_. I thought it very fitting and couldn't help myself. **

**Thanks to my awesome readers and reviewers! Some of you have been with me since almost the very beginning and I am completely blown away by that. I know my little story is different, and knowing that it was enjoyed by even a few people makes my heart sing!**

**Now, I've never been big on asking for reviews; I've always felt that if you're moved by a story you'll review, but I would love to hear from some of you now that TR is complete. Even if it's a only a word or two, your feedback is very welcome.**

**EDIT: I've posted a future glimpse featuring Edward/Demetri from this story called _The Cadence of Humanity _Check my profile if you're interested. :)**


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